In The Name Of Yuffie Kisaragi
by Yes-4-Yuffentine
Summary: A story concerning the humourous life of Yuffie and her many adventures, which always seem to drag a certain gun man in! From sleeping, chocobos, drunkness and brooding, and more crazyness its all in the Name of Yuffie Kisaragi! Rated for language.
1. Sleeping Sanity

_**Hey people! I have finally written a fic for my favorite pairing in the whole wide world! As much as I love this couple though, it was quite difficult to write a fic for them where they would stay in character, so I apologise if they are ooc! I also apologise for any errors. I have read this many times, but I tend to read what I think I have put.**_

_**Just a warning, this is fluffy, and this chapter this chapter isn't particulary romantic, even though it is in the romance genre; thats for later! **_

_**So without further ado, here it is! Remember to let me know what you think! **_

**_Edited 24/05/2010 _**_(P__lain old asterixes doesn't work anymore. I have replaced them with 'OOO' instead. Also corrected the typos I noticed. My comments on this chapter are at the end. I really don't like this chapter so I have partially rewritten it. Or taken bits out anyway)_

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I think Tifa's trying to kill me. I mean it. SERIOUSLY. Gawd, some sympathy would be nice...but why? I think I'm going crazy...NOT AS CRAZY AS SEPHIROTH. Anyway, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted-pointed silence-if I am crazy, it Tifa's fault. You see, I agreed to help her with the bar and those demons she calls kids. After all, she said it would just be when the bar gets busy or whatever. WELL APPARENTLY THE BAR MUST HAVE AS MANY PEOPLE IN 24/7 AS THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIMES THAT CRAZY-BASTARD-SEPHIROTH-WHO-WOULDN'T-LEARN-HIS-GAWD-DAMN-LESSON-LESSON CAME BACK TO LIFE! Hang on, that doesn't sound as impressive as I thought it was...well coming back to life, what was it? Two, three times? Well that is impressive, but comparing it to the amount of people in a bar...well, isn't.

Wow I sure can ramble on. My point is I think I'm dying from exhaustion. Yes, the Great Ninja Yuffie, White Rose of Wutai, Champion of the earth and sky, is TIRED. I admit it. Tifa has been running me off my feet all day, fetching thing for the bar to and fro, washing up, going to collect stuff from the shops, making short distance deliveries, looking after the kids, doing chores around the house...to mention but a few things I do daily. I can cope with all of that. The DAYTIME stuffs no problem. I am tired, but it's nothing a night's sleep won't cure...BUT THAT THE PROBLEM. I DON'T GET ANY SLEEP. KNOW WHY? WELL MY ROOM IS NEXT TO TIFA AND CHOCOBO HEAD'S AND THEY'RE...well the walls are WAY too thin here, if you know what I mean hint hint, nudge nudge.

Back to the present. Tifa is in the bar, which is pretty quiet at the moment, and the kids are outside playing, and I have a few moment of peace, meaning Tifa's not shouting at me to do something. And I'm so, so, so, so, so tired. Oow, there is a couch in front of me. I'm just going to lie down for a moment-

OOO

"Yuffie," Someone says my name.

"Mnnnn," I mumbled not waking up. Not waking up? Hang on, that must mean I am sleeping-

"Yuffie!" The voice was louder, more insistent. My eyes flickered open. I was lying on the couch, my head turned to the side. I was staring into two red eyes, which, were staring at me. They were rather close. Defiantly in my bubble. I just stared.

"Are you ok?" Vincent asks in his monotone.

"I'm fine," I replied simply_. It's nice having you waking me. However, it would have been nicer if you'd woke me up with a kiss nyuk nyuk..._HANG ON: REWIND AND FREEZE! DID I JUST SAY I WANTED VINCENT VALENTINE TO KISS ME? WHY LEVIATHAN-

"Are you sure?" Vincent asked. Wow. Pretty impressive. Two sentences. Asking about me. I immediately was distracted from that alarming thought.

"Um yes? Should I not be?" was my answer. He still hadn't moved his head, so it was still only a few inches away. Not that I was complaining. It just this was Vincent.

"You've been asleep for a long time," he stated. Suddenly I felt alarmed again. This was Vinnie. Slept-in-a-coffin-for-thirty-years-Mr-McBrood-I-must-atone-for-my-sins-Vinnie. What if...?

"A long time? As in how long? Oh _gawd_, not as in like you? I haven't been asleep for like, _years _have I? Oh gawd, Tifa and Cloud and everyone haven't all _died _from old age have they?" My voice was rising in hysteria. I would have continued ranting, but I heard something. Vinnie was chuckling. VINCENT VALENTINE. LAUGHING. HAVE I REALLY BEEN ASLEEP THAT LONG?

"No, Yuffie. You've been asleep for approximately three hours," he told me, is eyes locking on mine. PHEW! SWEET RELIEF! His eyes are so unique with that red shade. I never understand why people are creeped out by them. I find them beautiful... I think I'm drowning in them...

OH. DEAR. _GAWDS_! NOT AGAIN! I am NOT crushing on Vinnie. _Nuh-uh_. I do NOT like him. I have been through this before. _Many times_. I am _not _having this conversation AGAIN.

He blinked, breaking the spell.

"Three hours?" I asked. No commentfrom him. "Wow, I must have been tired," I murmured. He looked at me enquiringly. I like never nap. Unless I am mega tired. And when I nap, the longer I am left, the moodier I am when I wake up. I should be throttling Vince right now. Instead, I just stared. He stared back.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" I asked.

"You were tired," Three cheers for Vincent.

"Then why do you wake me now?" My interrogation continued.

"Tifa's been calling you. Her threats are becoming more menacing. I thought I should wake you before she found out you were asleep," he verbalised.

"WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH VINCENT VALENTINE?" I yelled dramatically. He just looked me. "YOU JUST UTTERED MORE THAN ONE SENTENCE AT THE SAME TIME!"

"..." Oh great. Back to the dot dot dots. I think I must have jinxed it. Ha! Well two can play at that game!

"..." says me. Hang on that doesn't make sense because I didn't say anything-

"..." he 'replies'

"..."

"..."

"..." I'm gonna break soon!

"..."

"VINNIE!" I yell.

"YUFFIE!" I'm sorry to say that wasn't Vinnie. That was Tifa screaming for me. I grimaced

"...The reason I woke you..." HE SPOKE AGAIN! I launched myself at him in a hug.

"YOU SPOKE! YOU HAVEN'T GONE BACK TO THE DREADED DOT DOT DOTS!"

"..."

"AND THANKYOU FOR SAVING ME FROM TIFA'S WROTH AND WAKING ME UP RISKING MY AFTER-NAP-TEMPER! IT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU!" The strange thing was he wasn't pulling Cerberus out on me for hugging him. He was kind of hugging me back! A real achievement!

"You're welcome," he murmured.

"YUFFIE! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Tifa's scream was sounding very pissed off.

"Opps," I said sheepishly, and detached myself from Vinnie, skipping towards the door. Then I stopped and faced Vinnie who was still standing in the middle of the room, following me with those crimson orbs.

"No, I won't Tell Tifa you were asleep," he promised. Hey, does he read-

"No, I don't read minds,"

"Then how did you know-"

"Your expression,"

"Oh,"

"...?" I was still standing there.

"NO! I DO NOT WANT TO DO A SECRET HANDSHAKE LIKE MARLENE AND DENZEL DO! JEEZ VINNIE! WHAT ARE YOU? FIVE?" Okay, i was talking about myself. So sue me

"..?."

"I'm going! I'm going! Bye Vinnie!" I left.

"Bye Yuffie,"

OOO

I felt like crying. I had shoved my head under my pillow, covered my head with my duvet...but nothing worked. I could still hear them. I was seriously about to cry I was so desperate. I mean, is some decent sleep too much to ask? OBVIOUSLY IT IS!

So I went to a last resort. I wrapped myself up in my duvet, grabbed my pillow, and shuffled out of my room. Out I the corridor, you can't hear anything. Maybe I could move my bed out here? I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! Gawd! It's obviously just the wall between my room and theirs, so only me who has to cope with it!

I knocked on the door, incessantly for awhile. It finally opened. IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS KNOCKING ON CHOCOBO AND TIFA'S DOOR, YOU NEED TO GO SIT IN A CORNER. Ewww! Images! Images! Mind you, the look on Vincent's face was almost as scary as bursting in on Cloud and Tifa. He looked VERY pissed off! Lucky, selfish bastard. He had had a good night's sleep for the past how many nights, and half a nights sleep tonight, while I had had NONE AT ALL and he looked extremely annoyed! Well welcome to the club sunshine!

His expression was inscrutable. Yes, I know it always is, but bear with me here. So yeah, after all, it was like 1am, I looked like an oversized caterpillar, and my hair was sticking up in every direction.

"Yuffie," was all he said. He didn't sound that happy. Neither would I, but no one has had the chance to wake me up in the middle of the night because I CAN'T GET ANY GAWD DAMN SLEEP TO BE WOKEN UP FROM!

"Please Vinnie! I am begging you! I will get down on my knees," which would be hard wrapped up in this duvet, "Can I please sleep on your pull out bed?"

He regarded me for a moment. I think I looked desperate. Like really desperate. And I'm never desperate. But seriously, I would cry if he said no. That was how bad my need for sleep was. I am the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi, The single White rose of Wutai, who never cries because Ninjas never cry. Ever.

Except sleep deprived ones.

Maybe Vince sensed this, as he moved slightly to the side, letting me.

"Thanks Vince!" I cried with relief, giving him a quick hug (well, I tried; it's hard when you have a huge quilt wrapped around you!) and bolted-well shuffled- into the room, yanked out the bed, and collapsed on it.

"You're a life saver Vinnie. I haven't slept for weeks!" I told him, pulling my cover over myself.

"May I ask why?" he asked. Even through the darkness, I could tell he was amused at my antics. I could see him watching me, a strange expression in his gorgeous eyes that I couldn't read. And I'm awesome at reading expressions. Especially Vinnie's.

"My rooms next to Cloud and Tifa's. Let's just say that the walls are entirely to thin," I murmured sleepily. Now there were no...noises, I found myself fast falling to sleep...

"Night Vince," I whispered, sleep finally claiming me. My eyelids had slid closed without my consent (I wanted to see his expression about Cloud and Tifa...doings) ANYWAY...

"Sleep well Yuffie," I heard him say, before I finally did drift off into sleep, with dreams of Vince waking me up, like earlier, but this time in the morning with a kiss...

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HOLY LEVIATHAN! WHAT DID I JUST DREAM OF?

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_**Hope you liked it!**__**I am planning this to be a series of oneshots. like related, in a kind of order...i have lots of ideas anyway. But I have to write them, and I tend to just fantasize about them and not write them down for ages, so when I update it will be infrequent, probably large gaps, but don't give up hope! I really do love writing these, but I just get frustrated when I can't get it down quick enough.**_

_**The more people review, the more guilty I feel for not writing the next chapter...and then start writing them XD So...please review!**_

**_24/05/2010 Comments: _**_I was cringed as I__ read this. This was the first Yuffie/Vincent I had written, and I guess I was still developing my style, which didn't settle into the calmer way I write in now until chapter three/four. Anyway, as I said at the top, I have partially rewritten this and taken bits out, so it isn't as bad now as I am making it out to be. , and perhaps one day, when I have finished this story (a sad thought as I enjoy writing this so much) I will rewrite this chapter fully, as looking at the hits this chapter received, then the hits the next one received which were alot less, this chapter put alot of people off the reading the rest of the story, which I think is way better (chapter three/four onwards I mean)._


	2. Chocobo Challenges

**_Hey people! Here it finally is! The second chapter. _**

**_Writing this was harder than writing thefirst chapter, so I apologise greatly if the characters are ooc, especially getting toward the end._**

**_I want to say a big thankyou to my reviews of my first chaper. you are all awesome! _**

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of ff7._**

_Edited 25/05/2010. Comments at the end of the chapter._

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"I can't believe they left us," I huffed.

"...They're going in a different direction," Vinnie pointed out quietly. I scowled at him.

"Well...they could've dropped us off! Cid's always banging on about that bloody airship! But instead we have to walk!" I ranted on. Stupid Cloud and his stupid logic! Who cares if it was more logical to split up and check the reactors?

Vince is staring at me. If you haven't guessed, I wasnot in the best of moods, so I glared at him.

"You've been complaining that you wanted a mission..." Vince pointed out. Wow Vince. Clever. That's gonna help my mood. I don't think he cares actually. My glare switches onto 'if looks could kill'.

"Yes, but not one where I have to walk all the way across the fricking country!" I resorted in shouting at him. He just carried on looking calm though so I muttered curses. At everyone. Reeve for sending us on this pointless mission, Cid for not taking us on his airship, Cloud and Tifa for getting to go on his airship and Vince for been so calm. I strode out of the house. If we were going to have to do this, then I wanted to get it over with. Well I didn't, but...Realisation dawned on me: My Chocobo was in the stables! I ran back to the house as fast as my awesome ninja-ness could take me.

"Vince! My chocobo's in the stable! We can double up and go on her!" I yelled at him-happily as it meant we wouldn't have to walk-as I proceeded to drag him out of the house. I let him go and started towards the stables.

"Yuffie," his low voice made me stop and turn. I looked at him, my eyes raised questioningly.

"...Chocobos don't... like me," my eyebrows rose further (if it were possible) and I inclined my head.

"Why not?" I threw my hands into the air, "You're awesome!" Insert embarrassed blush here. GAWD DAMN IT VINCE! STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT!

"...They do not react well to my demons..." he eventually says, after letting me suffer red cheeks and embarrassment. ME! THE GREAT NINJA YUFFIE KISARAGI! EMBARRASSED! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD? VINNIE MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF POWER! THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLAINATION! Unless...unless...NO! I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE: THERE IS NO WAY I LIKE VINCENT VALENTINE! NONONO!

I think I'm just gonna go jump of the nearest cliff right now. There is no way that I can like him! Nuh-Uh! Oh but if I jumped off of a cliff, I would _die_, and then at my funeral, Vincent would realise his undying love for me, and he'd want to avenge me but it would be his fault because he's so darn sexy, and so he'd just go lock himself in a coffin for gawd knows how many years and-

He's staring at me. AGAIN! Oh no! Its probably at my cheeks which have got even redder! He's probably wondering why the hell why! Speak Yuffie! SPEAK! No! Don't stare stupidly!

"Liberty trusts me. I trust you. Do the math," did I just tell Vinnie to do the math? MENTAL FACEPALM.

Vincent still didn't look happy. But Liberty and I have a strong bond. She'd be fine with him!

So when I went and fetched her, I did not expect her to dig her heels in the ground when I attempted to take her to Vinnie-wait! Do chocobos even have heels? There BIRDS. BIRDS don't have HEELS. HEY! Jeez, it's only a figure of speech. Right? GETTING OFF THE POINT HERE!

Sheesh, I really need to stop talking to myself mentally like that!

ANYWAY, she stopped. So did I.

"Oh, come _on_," I verbalised pointing towards Vinnie. She rolled her eyes in a scared manner.

"Hey missy! This is not the time to get an attitude with me!" I tried to drag her. And Failed. I huffed at her.

"FINE!" then turned round to Vince.

"Hey! Come over here!" I motioned to him with my hand.

"...Yuffie, I don't think this is a good idea..."

"Sure as hell it is! Now get your ass over here!" he did as I said, but when he got within a couple of meters, Liberty started warking madly, rolling her eyes, and backing up.

"Hey hey HEY!" I yelled at the crazy Chocobo, "What's your problem you stupid bird? Huh?"

"...Yuffie, leave her be. She has every right to act this way..." Vince murmured, backing away. I DISAGREE. THIS IS A BATTLE THAT NEEDS TO BE WON. AND YUFFIE KISARGI ALWAYS WINS. REST ASSURED!

"VINCENT VALENTINE, DON'T YOU _DARE _START ANGSTING ON ME, BECAUSE I WILL GIVE YOU_ ANGSTING_ WHEN _YOU'RE ANGSTING _OVER YOUR SORE BUTT LATER ON, WHICH, FOR THE RESULT OF YOUR _ANGSTING NOW_, HAD MY SHRUIKEN SHOVED UP!" I practically screamed this. No, scratch that, I did scream this. It made Liberty pause anyway. I took advantage, and grabbed her more firmly.

"Stupid, dumb, ridiculous, brainless bird! What the hell are you smoking? Why are you being so scared of Vinnie? Ok, when he's flapping around as that crazy ass demon Chaos, which he can't now, then you can be scared, and maybe you should run but he's _not _so you react like this! Yes, I know he looks like a creepy vampire, and that what I thought when I first met him but he's not so quit acting like Sephiroth is trying to kill you with his ridiculously long sword! Okay?" I thought we had things sorted, but I shifted to the side a little and she threw up her head again, flapping her wings.

"#(&^"£/ BIRD! I SWEAR TO &*£!#%(*) LEVIATHIEN! ^&*!£" YOU!" My cusses were heard in the lifestream. THAT GAWD DAMN BIRD THOUGH! I MEAN SERIOUSLY, HOW CAN A FLUFFY FEATHERED CREATURE BE SCARED OF A MAN WHO WAS CRINGING AT MY LANGUAGE?

" *%£^(!" I sat down. I was going to think of a solution, or I would end up murdering the bloody bird.

"...Yuffie-"

"BE %^!&*(£ QUIET VALENTINE!" I yelled. I stood back up, glaring at Liberty.

"Get your ass over here. NOW," I directed this at Vince.

"But Yuffie-"

"GET YOUR #£!^/& ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! I'M LOSING THE !$%*#/ WILL TO ^&*)$%#/ LIVE!" STUPID VAMPIRE! HE MUST KNOW BY NOW THAT YOU DO NOT ARGUE WITH YUFFIE KISARAGI, ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE IS CUSSING AND MAD!

He came over to me. Liberty went crazy of course but I held her, and after a long time she refrained to just rolling her eyes. We both (me and Vincent, not me and Liberty) knew there was no way she was going to let Vince touch her though.

"Vinnie," I was calmer now, "Put your hand on mine and follow my movements,"

"..?." STUPID VINNIE AND HIS STUPID OH-NO-MY-PRECIOUS-LUCRECIA-IS-DEAD-AND-ITS-MY-FAULT-SO-I-CAN'T-EVEN-ACCIDENTALLY-BRUSH-ARMS-WITH-ANOTHER-FEMALE-NOW!

"JUST DO IT OR FACE THE WRATH OF A SOUVIRLY PISSED OFF NINJA!" I screeched. I would end up murdering him and the bird soon! Gawd damn it, why did he have to disagree, or question or try to argue with me? WHY?

He complied though.

ANYWAY, he put his gloved hand on top of my outstretched one, so both of our palms were facing down. I put my hand on Liberty, and hence, Vincent's to. I started to stroke Liberty, and Vinnie seemed to catch on, as his hand stayed on mine, and 'stroked' her to. She stiffened at first, but after awhile, it payed off, and she started to relax. A few minutes later, I slipped my hand out from underneath Vincent's, so it was just him stroking her. Liberty merely closed her eyes blissfully, and lowered her head. Vince turned, still stroking her, to look at a grinning me.

"Ha-ha! We did it! Told you! I am officially awesome! Well, I was always awesome, and always will be but my awesome plan worked..." I continued to boast and blabber and Vince looked kinda happy to. Well, as far as a 'looking happy' Vince goes but you get the point. We know now that Chocobos are nothing compared to our awesomeness, and that those giant birds are not scared at Vince. Just maybe at first. So Vinnie has no reason to go all angsty!

He boosted me on, and then swung up behind me. Liberty was as good as gold, and started off. I grabbed the reins and Vince put his hands on my waist so he wouldn't fall off. I doubt Vince would fall off , but who can blame him for wanting to hold onto my sexy waist? And you won't hear me complaining. For having to have his hand on mine for the feathery problem or holding onto my waist! Any time Vince! Any time!

AGHH! First of all, that doesn't sound right, and second of all why am I thinking, or feeling those kind of thoughts? We established earlier that I do NOT like Vince! Because there is no possible way that could happen! Not when I first saw him coming out of that coffin all dark and sexy, not all the time we were together during the meteor incident, not when I saved him back in ShinRa manor and was terrified that he was going to die from that huge hole in his chest, not when we were on all those missions Reeve sent us on together because we work well together, not when he saved me from that terrifying darkness, not when I was worrying my ass off about him when he disappeared after Omega and Chaos returned to the planet ...hang on, why did I worry about him so much when he was injured and when his disappeared?

Thoughts be gone damn it! Concentrate of staying on the Chocobo and steering! Not that I need to steer. Liberty knows where she's going just fine! You know what? I felt a little sleepy...riding Chocobo's does make me sleepy...

Vince probably realised this because his arms moved from my waist, to either side of my waist, and took the reins. My head fell back against his chest, and his arms tightened around me.

"Thank you Yuffie," he murmured.

"S'okay Vince. Any time..." I mumbled back, drifting off to sleep.

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Come to think of it, I seem to be asleep in Vince's presence quite alot...

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**_there we go! i hope you liked it! i apologise for any typos and stuff. you know, spelling errors and what not!_**

**_I know chocobos aren't really scared of Vincent, I should say his demons, but that was the only way I could make this work! Also, I apologise for the chocobo in this for acting like a horse, but I have lots experience with horses but none with chocobos._**

**_Please review!_**

**_25/05/2010 Comments: _**_Urgh. I cringed at this chapter as well. My style was really...well it was just bad. Well, it seemed worse in this chapter anyway, but again, i'm making it sound worse than it is as i partially re-wrote/majorly edited this chapter. Luckily the way in which I write improves in the next chapter/chapter after that, when the style I write in now came to me. As I said in my comments on the last chapter, I will probably rewrite this after I finish this story, as I really feel these two first chapters are...well they're just don't seem to flow so well. Well they flow better now i've edited them. _

_In this chapter, I mention Vincent's demons. The demons I mean though are just Galian beast, Death Gigas and Hell masker, not Chaos because he returned to the planet with Omeaga, and this is set two years after all of that. When I wrote these first few chapters, I wasn't sure where I was going with this story. Now I am sure, I realise I don't really want them there, as this story is about Vincent getting over the his past and all that jazz...i don't want to say much more as i'll ruin the totally guessable storyline. Anyway, I should have mentioned them returning to the planet as well or something, but then the point of this chapter wouldn't work and I can't bring myself to remove this chapter: I like the theme, so I have 3 options. Anyone reading this, go vote on the poll on my profile._

_This isn't drastically going to effect the story, but I have an idea for a future fanfic, for after this story (if ever finish it. I need to update the next chapter already for the love of all things good!) which will not be in the near future, and it will play a big part in that, if the demons can 'talk'. Can you guess what this idea is? Anyways, please go vote!_


	3. Broken noses and Brooding

**_Heya guys! Well here's the third chapter! I had quite a bit of fun writing this chapter, and I didn't want to end it! I_****_'m sorry I took so long to update, but my when I got my ass into gear, I wrote this in one day or so, and updated the next._**

**_A big, BIG thank you to all of my reviewers. This fanfiction would be terrible without them, so thankyou thank you thank you! _**

**_DISCLAIMER I, sadly do not own any characters or ff7, they all belong to Square Enix._**

**_One last thing, OOO stands for time change, and \/\/\/ or /\/\/\ is used when I change to third/first person._**

Edited 26/05/2010. Comments below.

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"So not got a boyfriend Yuffie?" I snorted. Leave it to Tifa to ask me that.

"Nope. I'm just so awesome that all of the males know that I am out of their league!" I told her. Who am I kidding?

"Really?" Tifa raised her eyebrows. I love her and everything, but we don't all have the wonderful figure that appeals to the other sex like she does.

"Yeah. I'm just so unique," ha! Good way of putting it, instead of bouncy, energetic, crazyass, awesome ninja I am, that males apparently don't like, "That there is no one of my taste. You know? 'My other half' or whatever people say. So far," duh. Did she really have to remind me? Did she not know that I have been wallowing in these very thoughts? She was just driving me into depression. ME. The great Yuffie Kisaragi. But, so it seems, not so great at attracting the opposite gender...

Tifa was watching me, curiosity on her face. I broke under her scrutiny.

"Duh. Who am I kidding? I think I've some kind of male repelling force field. The other day I killed some monster that was going to kill these two men, and they just stared at me, _stared_, and then ran! I mean I just saved them, and they pegged it!" I exploded. Tifa smiled at me knowingly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But I think it has something to do with the tradition, you know the 'damsel in distress rescued by the knight in shining armour'. They get scared when it's the other way round," she informed me.

"Stupid, sexist bastards!" I yelled. People in the bar glanced at me, "Who needs them? I don't even want some stupid bloke to drag me down! I don't need one! Aww, but it's still nice to know if you...if you've..." I didn't know how to finish my rant.

"Still got it in you? Still get the buzz when someone asks you out?" Tifa suggested.

"Yeah,"

"Tell me about it. That what I miss, going out with Cloud. The ego boost when you get asked out. Not that I mind. I'm so happy to be with Cloud," Tifa admitted. I snorted.

"Ego boost? I know I'm already awesome," I sniffed. What's wrong with me though? Since when do I care is I get asked out or not?

Tifa laughed. I sat there, gloomy. I mean, who wouldn't be? It's VALENTINES DAY tomorrow, and I haven't got a date! What wrong with me? Oh gawd...

While I was brooding (I know! Brooding! I think I'm turning onto Vinnie!) Elena walked in. We're friends with Elena, me and Teefs. She a good buddy. Except when she has to go onto Turk mode and get all protective about Rufus stupid ShinRa.

She came and sat next to me.

"What's wrong Yuffs? You look gloomy. That uncharacteristic of you," she said. She didn't sound to happy herself.

"She got a bit of trouble with the males," Tifa told Elena.

"Join the club," Elena said to me.

"You too?" Tifa said. Elena blushed.

"Well, it's just trouble with one male really. I can't seem to look at men in possible boyfriend way anymore," she confessed.

"What, Tseng still hasn't asked you out? Even when he gets all annoyed, angry and jealous when other men flirt with you?" I asked indignantly. She blushed even more.

"That's not true Yuffie! He doesn't get 'annoyed, angry and-"

"Yuffie is right. You just need to make him jealous to make him spill his guts to you," Tifa interrupted thoughtfully.

"It's because he's a Turk," I announced, "No offence to you Elena, but they're so 'I'm so detached and emotionless and I don't need anyone because I'm a Turk' that they can't see anything else, even though they do need someone or whatever. And you're like 'I'm right here where I always have been and probably always will until you stop being blind to everything and realise'! It's so frustrating!"

"I know! You're so right! And he just doesn't seem to realise! And it's pretty much dancing right in front of his face!" Elena agreed. Tifa was staring at me after my little speech.

"You like Vincent," She declared.

"WHAT? No I _don't_!" I screeched, blushing. Tifa laughed.

"Yes you do,"

"Where did you get that crazy-as-Sephiroth idea from?" I asked.

"Your little announcement. Plus your blushing," Crap! What do I say to that?

"Oh my gawd! You and Vincent would be so cute! Aww! I can just imagine-" Elena started to say.

"Whoa! Hang on there! First of all, I _do not_ like Vincent, and two, even if I did, do you know who we're talking about? Vincent Valentine? You know? Mr _live in the past not let anything go and forgive myself because that stupid bitch got herself killed and I blame myself so no emotion what so ever_?" I cried desperately, because I was desperate to show them that I _don't_ like Vincent-because I _don't_, we've been here before- and to show them how desperate my despair was of him. Because I _don't_ like him. I know that. You know that-

Tifa's looking triumphantly at me. Crap. I leaned my head down on the bar counter, and groaned.

"I am soooo pathetic. I am stressing out about _men_, and its Valentine's Day tomorrow, and I'm spending it _alone_!" I moaned, banging my head on the counter.

"You won't be spending it alone. I think Vincent's coming over tomorrow," Tifa smirked. I lifted my head and glared at her.

"I highly doubt that Tifa. I bet he'll be at the dead encased bitch's cave-" damnit! Current score Tifa: 2 Yuffie: -100.

"You know what," Fierceness came into my expression. To prove Tifa wrong. Because I _don't _like Vince, "I'm going to take matters into my own hands. I'm not going to wait around. Males are incompetent and useless anyway. I going to go out there right now, and get a date for tomorrow," I stood up. Elena looked admiringly at me. Tifa looked surprised. HA! Then she smiled.

"You go girl!" she encouraged.

"The first man to catch me when I fall will be my knight in shining armour. Hopefully he'll have lots of materia," Tifa shook her head slightly, smiling at typical me.

I turned around and walked toward the door, inwardly panicking; damnit! I can see all the males through the bar's windows! And they're all...normal! Not one tall, dark, odd eye coloured, stupidly dressed, metal wearing guy in sight...not that they need any of those features because that would make them like Vincent, and I _do not_ like-

SLAM! THUNK!

I was stretching my hands out to open the door of the bar when it crashed open. Whoever opened it must be mad to open it with such force.

Stars. I'm seeing stars. Holy mother-

My nose exploded on impact as well. Yes. Exploded. Blood is now gushing, and I think it broke into a thousand pieces. I stumbled back a few steps, losing my balance. But I didn't know that I was going to fall over because as I said already, I'm seeing STARS. Oh! I just saw something red!

"Yuffie," Oh hey Vince. Great. He's seeing me with a broken bloody nose. His arms just went around me. I was going to fall?

"Stars..." was all I muttered, "Seeing stars," now where that utter MORON OF A BASTARD THAT JUST CAME THROUGH THAT GAWD DAMN DOOR? Hang on, I can't see anyone new! HEY! Where did Vince just suddenly spring from? Did he just come in? But then what other door did he come through? I didn't know there was another-HEY!

"Vince! You slammed a door into my face! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!" accept my accusation didn't sound as...impressive, seeing as I can't talk properly, because I HAVE A BROKEN NOSE!

"Yuffie?"

"OWWWWWW!" My hand had shot up to shield my nose, and try and staunch the flow. But touching my nose seems to trigger PAIN! "VINCENT! YOU BROKE MY NOSE! YOU UTTER MORON! OW! OW! OW!"

"I apologise Yuffie," he said in his low, deep voice. Gawd I love-

Ahem. I don't love Vince's voice

HE BROKE MY EFFING NOSE FOR LEVIATHAN'S SAKE!

I. Do. _Not_. Like. Vincent.

HE'S LEADING ME AWAY FROM THE DOORS BECAUSE I AM MAKING A SCENE AND EVERYONE IS STARING. WHAT ABOUT MY POOR NOSE THAT _HE_ BROKE?

His arms are still around me.

YOU DON'T LIKE HIM YUFFIE! HE SLAMED A DOOR INTO YOUR FACE. SLAMMED A FRIGGING DOOR INTO YOUR FACE AND BROKE YOUR NOSE! SLAMMED A DOOR INTO YOUR FACE AND-

What is he doing? I'm now sitting back next to Elena with Tifa in front of me behind the bar. He's pulling my hand away from my nose. His hand is now on my jaw and cheek, with his thumb parallel with my poor smashed nose. Assessing the damage. Gawd it feels nice-

NO! BAD YUFFIE! HE SMASHED YOUR POOR NOSE. WITH A DOOR THAT HE SMASHED INTO YOUR FACE! SMASHED INTO-

Oh gawd, I hope I'm not blushing.

"Here," Tifa to the rescue! She just handed Vince a cloth, so thank Leviathan his hand is off of my face now. He hands it to me and I press it to my nose. Hopefully it'll STOP BLEEDING NOW! Sheesh, I didn't think I could bleed that much without dying of blood loss!

I stare accusingly at Vince. "You slammed at door into _my face_. YOU BROKE MY NOSE!"

"I apologise Yuffie. I was not aware you were standing the other side of the door," he replies calmly. I'M BLEEDING BUCKET LOADS HERE VINCENT! COULD YOU AT LEAST SHOW SOME KIND OF WORRY? YOU KNOW? NOT BE SO CALM ABOUT THE FACT! AFTER ALL, IT'S YOUR FAULT!

"What the hell annoyed you so much? No one-_no one_- opens a door with that kind of force unless they're mad!" I ranted at him, sounding kind of slurred due to the fact I'm not breathing through my nose.

"..."

"FINE! GIVE MY THE SILENT TREATMENT. I'LL JUST SIT HERE AND _BLEED_. WITH A BROKEN NOSE. WHICH BY THE WAY, YOU GAVE ME!" I yelled (well tried). Oh my Gawd. He looks...he looks amused! AT MY MISFORTUNE! OH MY GAWD! THE CHEEK! HE'S SMIRKING! I'M GONNA-

Someone's giggling. I turned around. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?"

"Well it's just," Elena giggled, "That you said the first man to catch you would be your knight in shining armour, and well, it looks like your knight in shining armour was the one who made you into a damsel in distress!"

I took a deep breath, and fought the urge to knock Elena out with my awesome ninja skills, and turned to Tifa, who is hiding a smile.

"Tifa, can I have some pain killers please," I asked, trying to keep my voice level and calm.

"Course you can honey. DENZEL! CAN YOU BRING ME SOME PAIN KILLERS PLEASE?" she yelled up the stairs.

While I wait for Denzel and my much needed pain killers, I resisted banging Vinnie's and Elena heads together. I should feel proud at the fact that I am the one to make Vinnie hide a smile behind that cloak of his, but, IT'S AT MY EXPENSE.

"So much for my amazing plan A. I won't be able to get a date with a fricking broken nose," I stated glumly.

"Have you got a plan B?" Tifa asked.

"Umm...Reno?" I came up with.

"He was my plan B as well," Elena added.

"Do you have a Plan A?" Tifa asked, "I can help if not," Tifa the matchmaker...go figure...

"I suppose I can always call my old man. He'd be more than happy to set me up with some poncey prat for tomorrow..." I said half heartedly. Is it my imagination or did Vincent just narrow his eyes?

Denzel finally arrived, and handed Tifa the pain killers. Tifa got me a drink, and handed me them both. I removed the cloth from my nose (which had also_ finally_ stopped bleeding) and put a pain killer in my mouth, and then took a swig of my drink. I repeated the procedure.

Denzel is watching me. He probably heard me shouting and screaming and Vince.

"I thought you said awesome ninjas like you don't break bones aunt Yuffie," he asks.

Don't kill him. He's just a young misinformed boy. _Don't_ kill him. He's_ just_ a _young_-

"I didn't break my nose Denzel," I said through gritted teeth, "Vince here did," that wiped the smirk off of the stupid vampire's face.

OOO

Later on, in the evening, Vince, Marlene, Denzel and I were sitting down watching TV. Well Marlene and Denzel were watching TV, Vinnie was just sitting on the sofa, probably wishing for his coffin rather than watching kids TV, and I was standing in front of a mirror at the back of the room, my fingers attempting to prize off the broken-nose-plaster-thing Tifa had insisted putting on. Now she was out of the room, washing the dishes, I was going to take the stupid thing off. I looked like an idiot with it on. And Ninjas do not look like idiots.

"Ow!" I cried out, as I prized off a millimetre-in-length bit off. "Ow! Ow! OW! OW!" I continued to screech as the plaster barely came off. I was trying to peel it off gently, without causing myself any harm. And failing. It really, _really_ hurt!

"OW!" this cry of pain came out even louder. Then I noticed Vinnie in the mirror behind me. He looked annoyed and irritated. Ha-ha, probably me with my incessant 'ows'. I turned to face him, glaring.

"Yes?" I asked. This was his entire fault! If he hadn't off broken my nose in the first place...

"You shouldn't take that off," He told me.

"AND? Your point is?" I glared even harder. Well I tried. He's just so good looking-

HE'S THE REASON YOU ARE IN PAIN REMEMBER? HE SLAMMED THE DOOR IN YOUR FACE! SO STOP!

He pushed my hands away from my nose and plaster. The fingers on his gauntlet grasped the damn thing. What the hell was he doing?

Then he suddenly ripped it off. I just blinked at him before-

\/\/\/

Cloud was driving down the road many miles from Edge and Seventh Heaven, going over his plans for him and Tifa the next day when he heard someone faintly screaming in pain. He pulled Fenrir's brakes, causing the bike to flip 360 degrees, and leapt off, drawing one of his huge swords, and looking around for the source of the howls of pain, fearing the worst.

_Has Sephiroth returned? Or maybe the Remnants? Oh Crap! Maybe them both?And who are they torturing?_

\/\/\/

Mrs Smith, who lived on the opposite street to the one Seventh Heaven was on, was carrying her's and her husband's dinner into the dining room when a loud, screeching started, causing her to drop the plates, which shattered on the floor.

"YOU £~)*&^ IDIOT! I'M GOING TO ($%^&£~ WELL KILL YOU, YOU *£%^~(+* VAMPIRE! WHAT THE ~?&% DID YOU DO THAT FOR? !:~&%))!"

Mr Smith came running, to see Mrs Smith covering her ears from the cusses and screams.

_Where in Gaia is that ungodly screeching coming from?_

/\/\/\

Vincent calmly handed me the plaster and went and sat down. Marlene and Denzel were staring at me their mouth open wide. I had stopped screaming in pain and cussing at Vincent, and placed my hand over my burning, red raw, broken nose.

What had I ever done to Vincent?

OOO

The next day, I thumped heavily down the stairs to the kitchen, feeling extremely depressed. Vincent, Cloud (who had shown up last night, much to Tifa's delight) and Tifa were already in there. I made myself a drink, and flopped onto a chair. My nose was hurting.

"What's up Yuffie?" Tifa asked cheerfully. She's happy because Chocobo's back and its Valentine's Day. Combine the two and you get an ecstatic Tifa.

"Its Valentine's Day," I said.

"Yeah! Isn't it great?" Tifa said enthusiastically.

"And I'm alone today. With a broken nose. On Valentine's Day," I continued dully.

Chocobo head raised his eyebrows, "A broken Nose?" I just nodded, with closed eyes.

"Vincent opened the door on her," Tifa informed him. Cloud sniggered. Had I not been so depressed, I would have added that Vincent slammed the door in my face, not simply 'opened the door on me' and ninjad his ass for laughing.

"Isn't Valentine's Day just the best holiday ever?" Tifa burst out with, after a few minutes of silence. I shook my head.

"I bet there are more suicides today that any other day," I said. Even Vincent raised his eyebrows at my depressing statement.

"Yuffie! How can you be so morbid? Why would there be?" her happiness had obviously made her ignorant.

"Well, if you're alone, it's like the biggest reminder ever," I explained. She just shook her head, and refilled Cloud's plate.

OOO

Tifa and I were both behind the counter, serving the many lovey-dovey couples who were coming into the bar. Tifa was cooing at them, and I was holding my chin in my hands, elbows on the counter, feeling very depressed. Not only was I alone, and had no date on Valentine's Day (which I was being reminded of constantly by the couples in the bar, and Cloud standing with his arm around Tifa's waist), but I also had a broken nose. On Valentine's Day).

Vinnie was also in the bar. He was sitting the other side of the counter.

People kept glancing at me. I think my gloomy aura was scaring them away. Tifa looked worried (not at me, but by the few people who were leaving the bar, glancing at me).

A couple looked at me, then started whispering to each other.

"What?" I asked loudly, to them, "Never seen anyone alone on Valentine's Day?" they drank the rest of their drinks, and hurriedly left the bar. Vince looked at me, with questioning eyes.

"Yuffie!" Tifa hissed at me.

"Mmmnn?" I asked, dejectedly. She turned to Vince, despairingly.

"Please," she said grabbing my arm, and pushing me from behind the counter, "Take her out, she's scaring away all of the customers!"

"..!." Vincent looked at her in alarm, but then glanced at me, and probably figured objecting to this, and hence rejecting me, might just send me in a running jump off of a cliff, which probably wasn't going to help on his list of 'sins'.

He walked out of the bar, with me walking dispiritedly behind. He stopped once on the street. I had my eyes on the ground, and walked into him, collided with him, and fell over, landing on my butt, and made no move to get up. When Vince realised that I wasn't going to get up, he hoisted me to my feet himself.

"Yuffie," he said. I glanced up.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..?." he wanted to know what I wanted to do? Mope preferably. And wallow.

"..."

"Yuffie!" if I wasn't so depressed, I might have whooped at the fact I had won and made him speak first. He sounded kind of...frantic

"Mmmmnn?" now he had my attention, he didn't seem to know what to say. It's usually me getting his attention, and dragging him round.

"..."

"..."

"...Where did you want to go?"

"I don't know" I said, morbidly. He looked scared now.

After a moment, he said "C'mon," I just shuffled after him, head down.

I finally looked up when the bell you get on shop doors rang. We were standing in the middle of a shop. Vince was looking at me.

"Materia shop?" I murmured. He looked terrified now. This was not my normal reaction when I stepped into the Materia shop.

"...Yes,"

I wandered over to one of the shelves, looking, but not really seeing the Materia. All I was seeing were the pink and red hearts decorating them, and suggestions on what you could do with them on Valentine's Day. _Alone_! They seemed to scream at me, _alone on Valentine's Day! AloneAloneAloneAlone-with a broken nose._

I glanced at Vince. He was selling some of his Materia. Maybe I should sell all my materia...but I hadn't brought any of it with me. I figured if I was going to be attacked, then it was obviously my fate to die alone and unloved...

I went back to staring at the shelves. A Cure Materia's note caught my attention.

_Great for any broken bones!_

This particular one was devoid of any hearts, pinks or reds. Not a suggestion for Valentine's Day. Was it for people who were alone? But who were alone with broken bones, such as noses? Like me? It was probably just me. This particular materia was obviously just for me, because I had a broken nose, and I was alone...resulting in no hearts reds or pinks...

"That would be useful for your broken nose miss!" the shopkeeper grinned at me. I looked over to see his leaning over the counter, and Vince slipping something into his cloak.

"How did you know my nose was broken?" I asked, feeling myself fall a little deeper into that black hole...

His smile faltered at my expression, "Your nose is just a bit...bit swollen miss...err, lucky guess?"

"Oh great. Not only am I alone, but I have a swollen, noticeable, broken nose, on Valentine's-"

"Let's go Yuffie," Vincent hurriedly interjected, escorting me out of the shop, and away from the confused shop keeper.

Next Vincent took me to the weapons shop, but got the same reaction; even the _weapons shop _had been decorated for Valentine's Day! Vince bought some bullets and polish and hurriedly left the shop when the salesman asked me, grinning, if I had broken my nose from getting hit by the nose of Vince's gun after trying to fire it.

"Yuffie," I jerked out of my morbid thoughts.

"Yes?"

"What flavour...?" Vince probed. I looked down. Ice cream?

"Oh...umm," my usual favourite had chocolate heart in...Come to think of it most of them had...except...

"That one please," I said, prodding the glass above an almost black one. With no hearts or anything. Just plain dark chocolate.

Vincent looked relieved I hadn't kicked off about the hearts, and the salesman looked slightly surprised, but obediently scooped the dark-mirroring my mood-ice cream, and handed it to me on a cone. I took it, and me and Vince walked off, me licking slowly at my ice cream. I found my mood slightly-ever so slightly-rising, and I smiled a bit at Vince. I don't think I've ever seen him look so relieved...

Then I tripped over. Vince caught me but my ice cream had no hope. It flew out of my hand and landed on the floor. I looked-from the safe harbour of Vincent's arms-for the culprit of my trip, to see none other than a heart shaped drinks bottle. I was on the verge of tears. Vince saw this, and still with his arm round me, pulled me away.

He pulled me to a bench and we sat down. Vince watching me, probably willing me not to cry. And I wasn't going to, until I saw the tiny toddler, dressed as cupid, staring at me nervously. This drove me over the edge, and I broke down into tears.

\/\/\/

The women hurriedly grabbed her baby, and walked away from the sobbing female.

_Wow, she must be PMSing bad_, she thought glancing back at the wailing women.

/\/\/\

Was the world out to remind me that I am alone?

"Gawd damn you St. Valentine!" I wailed. People were glancing at me oddly. I put my head in my hands and continued to cry. The baby was dressed as Cupid, and staring at me; had cupid decided to ignore me, and not shoot me? Had he decided that I was a lost case? Am I cursed to live alone forever?

Suddenly I felt someone pull me, and then I was crying into Vincent's chest, with his arms tightly around me. Probably to muffle my sobs, and stop people from staring. But I didn't care. I just cried.

"Yuffie," Vince whispered into my ear, and then after a few more minutes, he said "Please stop crying and listen to me," I didn't have many more tears left to cry anyway. My sobs quietened, and I hiccupped.

"You will never be alone Yuffie, do you hear me? Never. You've got all of Avalanche...and you've got me, so stop crying, and thinking you're alone," he whispered in my ear. I pulled away slightly.

"Re...HIC...ally?" I asked, hiccupping again. He smirked.

"Really," he promised, and I hugged him again.

"So stop this...this..." he said, searching for the right word. I pulled back, giggling.

"Brooding? Wallowing? Moping?" I supplied. He scowled.

"Says you? King of all Angst? Above even Cloud, Prince of angst?" I sniggered.

"I think you just proved yourself to be Princess of angst," he said through narrowed eyes.

"Well, let me know next time your angsting, and we can angst together," I sniggered, then, "Hey! I think I just saw Elena and Tseng! Let's go spy on them!" I grabbed his hand and scampered over with him to behind some bushes, and waited just before Elena and Tseng were about to kiss before bursting out and yelling "Hi guys!" and watching as they both pushed apart, blushing. By this point, I think Vinnie was regretting stopping me angsting when he witnessed Elena and Tseng's embarrassed, flushed faces. But then again, I didn't see the smile he hid behind his cloak.

OOO

"WE'RE BACK! ME AND VINNIE ARE BACK!" I hollered upon entering Seventh heaven. Vincent cringed at the volume off my voice. We walked into the kitchen where Teefs and Chocobo head were having a glass of wine.

"Figured," Tifa said, "Are you ok now?" I sniggered.

"I'm alot better than Tseng and Elena right. We had a run in right before they were gonna smooch! You should have seen their faces! It was hilarious!"

"Yuffie, you waited right until they were inches apart before springing at them," Vincent commented.

"Chyeah whatever," I snorted. Tifa laughed.

"Yuffie, you might want to go check your messages. You cell is screaming at me to read them," Tifa said, and right on cue, we heard my cell.

'_GET YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HEAR AND READ THIS (&^%$*~!£ MESSAGE!_ YOU ~(*_(&^% IGNORANT BASTARD!' my cell yelled. Vinnie raised his eyebrows, and Cloud winced.

"It's been getting progressively more abusive," he said. I skipped upstairs and grabbed my phone.

_11 messages from Reno_

_17 missed calls from Reno_

"Chyeah, whatever," I muttered throwing the phone on the bed, and galloping back downstairs.

"So?" Tifa asked.

"Hey! None of your business!"

"I think we have a right to know after what that phones being screaming at us. It's worse than Cid," Cloud snorted.

"Just from Reno. I didn't bother reading what crap he sent me," I shrugged.

"Hey! I'm offended!" someone yelled from the bar.

"Speak of the Devil, and the devil shall appear," I chanted. All four of us walked into the bar.

"What can we get you Reno?" Tifa asked.

"Perhaps a pretty date tonight?" he answered winking at me. Chocobo slid his arms around Tifa's waist.

"Get stuffed Reno. You're only asking because Elena's and Tifa are taken, and I'm your last resort, and you don't want to lose Gil to Rude in a stupid the bet you probably made," I sniffed.

"That got me right here Princess," he said, putting his hand over his heart.

"Jerk," I muttered.

"Anyway I hear you were upset about being alone earlier. With a broken nose," he said slyly. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Yes, well, Vinnie made me all better, didn't you Vinnie?" I asked turning around towards him, grinning. He grunted.

"Isn't he the one who gave you that broken nose darlin'?" Reno asked.

"Yes," I turned to face Vinnie again, "You never did tell me why you opened that door so hard," I heard Reno snigger, and I turned around to confront him.

"Yes Turkey?"

"Nothing," he said, frowning at the name.

The phone rang, and Tifa went to answer it. I'd had had enough of Reno, so I went upstairs.

"It's because I told you that she'd got a date for tonight wasn't it 'Vinnie?'" I heard Reno say on the way up.

Hang on...what?

OOO

That night, I was just walking to the kitchen door to go to bed when Vince opened it.

"Ahhhh!" I dived out of the way. Vinnie scowled. I grinned and giggled, climbing to my feet.

"Just instinct I guess," I said, straight faced, then sniggered when his frown deepened.

"What's up Vince?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..!."

"..."

"FINE! You win! Gawd!" I huffed.

"..?."

"If you're going to dotdotdot on me, I'm going to bed," I huffed again.

"..I just wanted to give you this..." and then hands me a red Materia. A master Summon. I stared at it, and Vince shifted uncomfortably, before I threw my arms around him. He tentatively hugged me back.

"Thank you Vince," I whispered.

"You're welcome Yuffie,"

"Not just for the Materia," I added, hugging him harder.

"...Anytime,"

A moment to so later I released him, and stood on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek.

"Night Vinnie," I said, going upstairs. _OhMyGawd_! I just kissed his cheek! _OhGawd OhGawd Oh Gawd-_

"Night Yuffie,"

I was almost asleep when I remembered seeing the master summon in the materia shop.

_If ever you're not there to protect your loved one from morbid things, let this help keep them safe._

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

Ha! How fitting!

Huh?

Hang on...

* * *

**_I hope you like it. I know Yuffie is OOC, because she doesn't mope/brood/angst/wallow; that's Vincent's job! But we all have our bad days, and Yuffie was just sad that she thought she was alone. We're all entitled to a bit of moping aren't we? Even if we are heroes? Well, Cloud and Vincent do all the time!_**

**_I'm hoping to get about 5 reviews per chapter, as I need motivation to write more so please review!_**

**_I just want to let you know that I am going to be changing the title of this fanfic. Now I know what i'm doing with it, and its all going to be written in first person from yuffie, i'm changing the title from _****An Oversize Shruiken and Gun to In The Name Of Yuffie Kisaragi so please look for that title next time I update or whatever. I have also changed the description. Its the same fanfic, just a better summary!**

**_Thankyou for reading, and please review! xxx_**

_**30/05/10 Comments**: Well, this chapter was the one I found the early writing style for the fanfiction! I haven't got much else to say for this chapter except that Yuffie is kind of out of character, but I think is is kind of how she would react in this situation...Plus, in this whole story, I put the characters in out of character situations, and try and keep them in character for that situation, if that makes sense...I write their reactions to these situations, if that gets my point across any better. I may, again, rewrite this chapter one day very far in the future, as the way it is written is still slightly different to that of the rest of the story. Well, I say this, but I probably won't, as this chapter isn't that badly written that its unbearable to read. Anyway, I'll stop rambling now, and go start editing the next chapter!_


	4. Happy Pills and Wonders Of Wastedness

**_And here it is! i've actually have this written for a while, but I wanted to write the second part (which will be up soon) before I posted this. As you can see, this is a looong chapter. I didn't want to stop! I had so much fun writing it! By the way, I know I have had a couple of long chapters now, and if you would prefer them to be shorter, just let me know. I'm just guessing that you would prefer longer rather than shorter :D_**

**_A Massive thank you to everyone who reads this, who story alerts this, who favorite this, and a huge thankyou to people who review this! You are fantastic!_**

**_DISCLAIMER FF7 and all its characters belongs to Square Enix, not me._**

_Edited 30/05/10. Comments below._

* * *

"And that's what you get when you mess with Yuffie Kisaragi!" I yelled at the drunken bastard, my fist connecting with his face. He really shouldn't have tried to kiss me, especially after I had told him to leave.

"_C'mon sweet heart," he said, his drunken breath wafting into my face, "You know you want to, if you get what I mean," He winked at me. _

"_You need to leave now," I warned him, for the second time. Then he tried to kiss me. Just when his lips were a few centimetres from mine, my knee shot up, and hit him hard in between his legs. He howled and doubled over._

I heard a loud crunch, and pain shot up my wrist. _Damn, I hope that's his nose and not my wrist!_

It turned out that it had been his nose. He left pretty quickly after that, I can tell you. The pain in my wrist had been the result of the force of my punch.

"That was awesome!" I grinned at Tifa, slipping back behind the bar, cradling my wrist. She grinned back.

"Yeah, it looked fun," she looked wistful now.

"Hey!" I laughed, "You beat them up all the time, so let me have my chance!" she grinned ruefully.

"I guess," she examined my hand, "Hmm, looks like you sprained it. That was some punch. Go through to the kitchen, and get Cloud to check it out," _Cloud_? _CLOUD_? What does _Cloud _have to do with it? Is he even home?

I went through to the kitchen, and sure enough, there's Cloud! Just sitting on his lazy ass! Probably angsting. He just looked up. Wow! He sure looks tired! I guess delivering takes a lot out of him...

"What did you do?" he narrowed his eyes at my wrist, which I'm still cradling.

"Just took out some drunken douche," I said, brushing it off with a wave my hand. And then winced. Hand movement equals wrist twinging. Cloud noticed.

"Sit down," He sighed, getting up.

"Hey! Where do you magic that materia from?" I frowned. I was sure I had stolen all of his materia...

"I have a few hiding places you can't get to Yuffie," he smirked. Oh my gawd! Does he mean...? EWW!

"GROSSNESS! GET THAT CONCENTRATED, CONTAMINATED MAKO BALL AWAY FROM ME!"

"You just can't reach the top of the cabinet Yuffie," his smirk grew. I scowled at him.

"I'm going to ninja your ass when you're not looking Cloud Strife," I muttered to myself.

"Sure you are Yuffie," he smirked again. Damnit! He heard!

OH MY GAWD. MATERIA HAS FAILED ME! OH MY GAWD! Cloud looks pretty confused to.

"Why hasn't it worked?" he asks quietly. He tries again. Still no effect! I'm pretty sure my jaw is on the floor.

"Well Yuffie, it looks like you're going to let it heal the old fashioned way,"

Scowl.

"First my nose, now my wrist! What the hell is happening?" I ranted, while Cloud handed me a bag of frozen peas for the swelling, which is appearing pretty fast.

"Keep these on it for a while," he says, placing a bandage and a bottle of pain killers on the table, "and take a couple of these for the pain," then he leaves. Still scowling, I rearrange the bag of peas, and grabbed the bottle.

_STRONG PAINKILLERS FOR FAST RELIEF! _The bottle boasted. Wow. Cloud is good. I unscrewed it quickly and swallowed two, waiting for the painful throbbing in my wrist to dissipate.

A while later, I scowled at the bottle. They hadn't worked yet! And surely these peas shouldn't be making my arm _this_ numb?

OOO

I bounced into the bar as if I had springs on my feet. What a _wonderful_ day! Then I spotted Vinnie; when had he arrived? He hadn't seen me yet!

"Vinnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiie!" I cried, slamming into his chest as I joyfully hug/tackled him. I was so happy! Happy as a bunny! Happy as a-

Oh! I'm on top of Vinnie! On the floor! How did that happen? No matter! Nothing can spoil my fantastical mood! I giggled.

"Hey Vince! Why are you on the floor?" I asked none the less. A better question was why were we _still_ on the floor?

"...You knocked me over," he grunted. He sounded like the wind had been knocked out of him. He didn't sound too happy either.

"No I didn't! I hugged you silly!" I laughed. I'm Hyper. HYPER. HY-PER! And HAPPY! "Anyway, don't you have like super strength? And Super balance? I'm TINY! How could I knock someone as superfied and co-ordinated as you over?" I giggled at the absurdity. He's scowling. And getting up.

THUD! Goes me as he stands up and I fall off of him. I'm sprawled on the floor. And laughing. Hysterically! I'm just so happy! Happyhappyhappy!

Three people are bending over me. No hang on, four! Cid's just come in! YAY! CID!

"What's the brat smokin'?" he asks. I leapt up, and threw my hands in the air.

"I'm not smoking anything! Cloud gave me HAPPY PILLS!" everyone in the bar turned and stared at me. I smile widely and wave. HAHAHA! Cloud's face! He looks REALLY embarrassed. I giggled.

"I just gave her a couple of pain killers!" he says defensibly. Vincent looks suspiciously at me.

"You didn't give her the bottle did you?" he asks Cloud in his low, deep SEXY voice. What's Cloud going so pale at?

"Yep! He did!" I yell cheerily. Cid is roaring with laughter. I join him.

"Yuffie sweetie, how many did you have?" Tifa asks. Hang on, how many did I have? I frown, trying to remember.

"Hmm, I can't remember. The first two weren't working, so I took some more. I stopped taking them when I started feeling all WHOEY!" I laughed, waving my hands in the air.

"What did she take them for?" Vinnie is enquiringly.

"She punched a drunk and hurt her wrist," Tifa informs him, looking worried. Over what? Everything is SUPER DUPER WONDERFUL!

"AND COMPLETLY OWNED THAT FUCKER'S BALLS!" I yelled, grinning widely. Teef, Vinnie, and Cloud wince, and everyone in the bar looks over again. Cid is roaring with laughter. "AND HIS NOSE! HAHA! HE WON'T BE TRYING TO KISS ME AGAIN!" whoa! Evil glare flare on Vinnie's face! I spun round to ask why, but lost my footing and fell over again. Whoa dizzy! I wave my hands in front of me, accidently knocking a bottle from one of the lower shelves over.

"Whoops!" I laugh, as red wine spreads across the floor and me. Then lick the wine off of my finger.

"Oh gods no! Don't let her drink that! Gaia only knows what she'll be like when she's like this combined with alcohol!" Cloud yells, yanking me to my feet. I totter, and Vince steadies me from falling into the shattered glass.

"HAPPY PILLS! HAPPYPILLS! HAPPYPILLS! HAPPYPILLS! HAPPY-" Vinnie's hand has covered my mouth. Hey! I want to shout '_HAPPYPILLS!'_ again! Maybe I should lick his hand! Yeah I'll-

He suddenly removed his hand and narrowed his eyes at me.

YAY! Reno's just come in!

"RENNIE-KINS!" I shout, skipping toward him and hugging him, grinning. He grins back, looking a bit confused. Cid just spat out his drink.

"Rennie-kins?"

"Heya darlin'. I knew you'd come around," Reno grins seductively.

"Guess what Cloud gave me?" I ask him ecstatically, but before he can answer, I notice Rude standing beside him.

"RUDIE!" I yell. He just looks at me. Well I think he is anyway. I can't really see with those shades on.

"Anyway, Cloud gave me HAPPY PILLS!" Reno chokes on the drink Tifa just gave him.

"Happy pills?" he starts laughing. I laugh to.

"Yeah! HAPPY PILLS!" then I notice Vinnie scowling again. Again! What is he scowling at? Everything's SUBERB!

"Hey Vin Vin," I ask. Vince's frown deepens, and Reno chokes on his drink again, "Why are you frowning?" I wait for an answer.

"..."

"I KNOW!" I scream.

"Oh dear gods," Cloud mutters.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME HAPPY PILLS! THEY MAKE YOU HAPPY! THEN YOU WON'T BE FROWNING!" Reno chokes yet again on his drink.

"Vampy? Happy? That would be a warning for an Apocalypse!"

"...No thank you Yuffie," Vince declines, shooting a Vinnie-death-glare at Reno. I shrug my shoulders.

"Oh well. All the more for me,"

"Crap!" Cloud yelps, and running off into the kitchen. I stare after him then turn to Reno, and punch him hard on the arm.

"Yuffie, you shouldn't do that. That's your bad wrist. It'll hurt," Tifa scolds. I grin at her.

"Nope!" I say, punching Reno again and again. He's starting to look annoyed. "Doesn't hurt a bit. I can't feel any pain right now!" suddenly, I punch Reno so hard, he stumbles. I look at my fist.

"That usually hurts. Oh well, must be the HAPPY PILLS!" I turn to a smirking Vince. What's he smirking at anyway? He's looking at Reno. I shot my arm out at him, jolting him.

"BITE ME!" I shout. He looks at me.

"I'm sorry?" he asks.

"BITE ME! You're a vampire aren't you? BITE ME! Suck my blood or something! I bet I won't feel a thing!" WHOA! Evil glare! Sheesh!

"VIN VIN!" I yell, and jump on his lap and prod his chest, and try to glare happily at him.

"You need to stop frowning! You need to smile! SMILE!" I advise him, still poking his chest. Wow, he's just looking at me...is he having second thoughts about sucking my blood or something?

"WAA! DON'T EAT ME!"I screech, burying my head in his chest and throwing my arms around him. He smells good...

Reno appears to be hyperventilating. I peek out, then launch myself from Vinnie's lap, and latch myself onto Reno's back, legs wrapped around his waist, arms and locked around his neck in a strangle hold. The laughing appears to be turning to choking. I wonder why...?

"RUN RENNIE RUN!" I scream, flapping my legs, and jolting his head back, "RUN! C'MON! PRETEND YOUR A CHOCOBO!" I jerk his head back again, and the next thing I know, I'm on the floor with Reno moaning on top of me.

"Reenoo!" I whine, "You suck! Why the hell did you fall over? What is with people today? First Vinnie falls over, now you! I'm tiny!" But before he can respond, Cloud's PHS starts to ring, and I grab it, still on the floor.

"Hello, happy heaven!" I greet the caller. There are several raised eyebrows at me.

"Um, could I speak to Cloud?" the person the other end of the phone asks. I snicker.

"Sorry, Cloud is currently shoving HAPPY PILLS down his pants so I can't get them. Did you know he gave them to me? He gave me HAPPY PILLS!" I inform the caller, "Reno, that better not be your tongue I can feel-"

"Um, I'll call back later," the person hung up. Haha, Reno's just been hauled to his feet by Vinnie. I extend my hand to be lifted to my feet.

"Hmm, Cloud has a boring ringtone. I know! I'll change it!" I announce, still waiting for someone to pull me to my feet. I wave my hand. "HELLO? Thanks Teef,"

"Yuffie, please don't change Cloud's ringtone," she pleads. I ignore her.

"I KNOW! I'LL CHANGE IT TO 'THE CLOUD SONG'!" I yell. Cloud runs in, but it's too late! I've changed it.

"Here you go Cloud," I say, handing the PHS to him, "No need to thank me,"

"What did she do?" Cloud asks, looking...scared?

"She changed your ringtone to 'the Cloud song," Reno snickered.

"And locked it so you can't change it!" I giggle. Cloud now looks thunderous.

"Someone called you Cloud. I don't know who-" Tifa starts. I interrupt.

"I told them you were shoving happy pills down your pants," I inform him. "Hey Reno! Shall I make you a 'Reno Song? Yeah!

"_'I am Reno!_

_And I'm so low!_

_I am a Turk!_

_This means I'm a jerk!_

_I totally suck!_

_Because I fuc_-"

"Yuffie!" Tifa yells, looking horrified. Cloud looks like he's going to cry, Cid's laughing his head off, Reno looks offended, Rude's smirking, and Vinnie looks like he might get Cerberus out and shoot me...

OOO

It was late in the evening the next day when Tifa was wiping down the counter in the bar, and I was sitting on it. Cloud had gone to bed early (he had delivering the next day), Marlene and Denzel were also in bed, and I don't know if Vince was asleep or reading.

The effects of the pain killers had only worn off earlier in the morning. They had kept me up all night, and Cloud, Tifa and Vinnie (who if you hadn't noticed already, lives at Seventh Heaven when he's not gallivanting across the world with that stupid nine-year-old but actually twenty one-year-old-same age as me-Shelke with that stupid-bitch-Lucrecia's-memories-in her head, or not on a mission for Reeve) had literally had to tie me down.

"Teef let's go to a club and get wasted," I announced. Damn my wrist was painful!

"Why would we do that?" she asked. She didn't look that opposed to the idea though...

"Because my wrist is hurting like hell, and stupid Chocobo butt won't give me any painkillers!"

"Is that really a surprise? You made up song for all of us, ran round the bar dragging Cloud sword, and kept shouting 'Happy pills' all night," she reminded me. I bit back a grin.

"Well they worked," I countered.

"Yes I think we realised that when you tripped over the sword you were dragging with your bad wrist, and cut your leg, then continued to run around without knowing you had a cut that almost needed stitches,"

"C'mon Tifa! I know you want to go out as well! We haven't been out clubbing since...since I was legal to drink!"

"Not that that stopped you anyway," she grinned.

"Well no! Cut me some slack; I helped save the world three times!" I giggled.

"Well...I suppose we could. You're right; we haven't gone out for ages..."

"Exactly! Let's go!" I jumped of the counter immediately before she could change her mind.

"Ok then," she laughed at my enthusiasm.

"Let's go get hammered!" I whooped. Alcohol was the only other thing that was as good as pain killers!

OOO

We got drunk alright. Completely and utterly _wasted_!

Many hours later, (it was four am) and several drinks later, me and Tifa were walking down the street Seventh Heaven was on, arm in arm, (half full bottles in our other arms) singing loudly and out of tune, laughing, attempting to do the Cancan as we walked.

We eventually made it to the door. I stopped, and looked expectantly at Tifa. She was doing the same to me.

"Well, we going in or what?" I ask loudly, swigging from the bottle in my hand.

"Yeah!" she started forward, then stopped, "Yuffie, you've got the keys,"

I grinned. "No I've not. You have,"

She grinned back. "No, before we came out, I said, 'Got the keys?' and you said 'ok!'"

I giggled. "No, you said, 'Got the keys!' and I said 'ok!'"

"No, I meant, 'got the keys?' not 'got the keys!'" I just stared at Tifa, before we both burst out with hysterical laughter.

"So-_laugh_-we've been-_laugh_-locked out?" I practically screamed.

"Yeah!" she practically screamed back. We laugh/screamed some more

"Cloud and Vincent are in though right?" Tifa asked, calming to giggles.

"Yeah," I snorted back.

"Well, we can just knock on the door then!" Tifa announced, gleefully.

"Not shit Sherlock!" we dissolved into more giggles. Tifa suddenly stopped.

"Maybe they'll be shirtless!" she whisper/screamed urgently.

"Even better, maybe they'll be naked!" I whisper/scream back. We both suddenly started hammering on the door with a desperate ferocity, giggling like crazy.

The door swung open, and we both almost fell in. We both looked up, and saw two very annoyed looking men...neither, unfortunately, naked. Or even shirtless. Vinnie wasn't wearing his cloak...does that count?

I stomped my foot angrily.

"Damnit!" I yelled at them, glaring, "Idiots!" they both looked at me questioningly. Tifa looked pretty annoyed to.

"What did we do?" Cloud asked, his look of annoyance turning to confusion. Aw! Bless him! He looked so cute! I almost cooed at him.

"You were_ supposed_ to be at_ least_ shirtless!" Tifa hollered at them. They both just stared at us, stupefied.

"We apologise..." Vinnie said. Me and Tifa pushed past them, into the kitchen. This seemed to jolt them back to their previous state.

"Where in _Gaia_ have you been?" Cloud barked at us angrily, in his I-am-the-leader-obey-me-voice, his arms crossed. I cracked a grin, and whooped.

"We went and got drunk at a club!" I yelled, holding my bottle in the air. Tifa smashed her bottle into mine, and we downed the liquid in one go.

"That much is obvious," Vincent muttered. I've never heard Vinnie mutter before...

"MORE!" Tifa obliged my request, and shoved a bottle into my hand, then grabbed one for herself. I don't even know what it was; I just chugged it down. Until someone rudely wrenched it from my hand, some of the contents spilling down my chin and chest.

"HEY!" I bellowed, leaping up to see Vinnie holding the bottle out of my reach.

"GIVE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" I screamed, attempting to grab it. Cloud was hurriedly following Vinnie's example. HIS _BAD_ EXAMPLE! I was about to launch myself at him when Vinnie did something _unspeakable_. I stared, open mouthed, as _he tipped the alcohol down the sink_. DOWN THE SINK. THE ALCOHOL. I was still staring when he set the bottle down on the side with a clink. I closed my mouth, but then it fell open again. Vinnie just stood watching me, and I noticed him smirking a little.

"How much have you drunk?" Cloud asked.

I made my mouth work. "I have no idea! We just drank whatever was put in front of us,"

"You should have seen Yuffie. I didn't think she could drink so much!" Tifa giggled, which set me off, "She was awesome! She handed a bunch of guys asses back to them in the drinking games!"

"Drinking games?" Cloud frowned. I nodded enthusiastically.

"Yep. You know shots and whatever. And me and Teef won the dancing!"

"Dancing?" Cloud's eyes practically bulged out of his head.

"Yep! We climbed on the tables and everything!" Tifa added. I turned to her.

"You remember all the guys watching? And that one which tried to squeeze your butt?" I asked animatedly giggling. Cloud's eyes narrowed so fast they practically disappeared.

"What guy?" he growled. I looked at Tifa, and we both exploded into laughter.

"It's just," I tried to say through all the laughter, clutching my side, "Tifa...well...after she'd finished beating the ever living _shit _out of him, I don't think he could have kids !" I dissolved into more laughter.

"Well, Yuffie didn't do to badly; was it your number I saw you slipping into that guy's pocket?" Tifa asked, giggling and wiping her eyes. I shook my head.

"No. I pointed to a random guy, and told the bar man that he'd be paying for our drinks, and then I went and flirted with the guy I'd pointed at and I slipped the bill into his pocket, telling him to call me. I got his materia as well!" we erupted into giggles, and I pulled a few glimmering orbs from my pocket.

Vinnie doesn't look happy. Far from it actually. Cloud isn't looking all 'whupty-doo' either. I leapt up, and handed Vinnie a materia.

"Here Vin Vin. Have some Materia to turn that frown upside down," I beamed. I'm pretty sure Cloud's jaw hit the floor. I grin, and hand him one to. Vinnie looks dumbfounded. And he never looks dumbfounded. Never ever _ever ever ever E V E R_!

"Yuffie, since _when_ do you _ever_ share your materia?" Cloud asks. I wave my hand, and throw Tifa an orb. She falls off of her chair trying to catch it.

"Because I _LOVE_ you guys!" I smile widely, "I love you all_ loads_ and _loads_ and_ loads_-"

"Wow, you're really drunk," Cloud shakes his head, his face registering shock.

"I think the term 'wasted' is more accurate," Vinnie comments, in his low SEXY voice, looking from me to the materia I gave him. Tifa's head appears from the floor.

"No. We're completely and utterly hammered," she corrects. I stop saying _loads _and _loads_, and join in defining how drunk we are.

"We are so pissed right now, that _Cait sith_ would seem _Sexy,_ which makes you two, well, _Gods_," Vinnie's eyebrows shot up, and Cloud looks somewhere between smug about being told he's a God, and offended that he only looks like a God because we're drunk. Well, Vinnie's a god anyway but I'd only admit that to him if I were really, really sloshed. Like now for instance.

"I mean, Yuffie drank full a bottle of Vodka, _straight_, in one go," Tifa told the Gods, pulling herself up by the table.

"Yeah! And Tifa drank a full bottle of whiskey in one go!"I grinned, grabbing hold of Vinnie when I tripped over my own feet.

"People were buying drinks for us _just_ because they were _astounded_ by the _sheer amount_ we had _already_ drunk, and wanted to see how much more we could handle. Even the _barman_ was handing them to us _free_," Tifa continued, pulling herself into a chair.

"I mean, we can't _think_ straight, let alone walk straight. There's about _five_ of everything," I tottered into a chair next to Tifa, and we looked up at the two men who were staring at us. They didn't seem to know what to say, let alone do.

"So," Tifa concludes, "the only thing left for us to do..."

"...Is to GET EVEN MORE DRUNK, WASTED, HAMMERED, PISSED AND SLOSHED!" I finish, and we both launch ourselves at the door leading to the bar, and alcohol. Damn, I should have just said intoxicated...

My fingers were centimetres away from the handle and the HEAVEN beyond the door when something slid around my waist, and tugged me firmly back from my headlong dive.

"Ouff!" I gasped, as a slammed into someone.

DAMN VINNIE AND HIS SUPER SENSES! I WANT ALCOHOL! I NEED ALCOHOL! I NEED ALCOHOL! I NEED IT I _NEED_ _NEED NEED_-

"You do not need alcohol, and neither are you going to get any," the low, SEXY, pissed off voice OF GOD breathes, right next to my ear. Did I really scream that that I needed alcohol? Opps...

A shiver runs through me from the close proximity of the _God_. My already clouded senses become even more intoxicated (HA! I used it!) when I realise how close we really were. His arms were around my waist, pressing me against his chest. Oh _Gawd_, I can feel the hard muscles of his chest and stomach against my back...

My knees gave way, but it didn't matter because Vinnie was holding me up anyway. I sent up a prayer to Leviathan that Vinnie thought it was because I was tired and drunk on alcohol, not because I was drunk on his presence being so close... unless he knew this, and was doing it on purpose...

GOD? GOD? THIS WAS NO GOD! HE WAS THE DEVIL! Albeit a very sexy devil but the devil none the less. I started squirming in his grip, which tightened. Of all the things he could do, he tightened his grip, sending my already dazzled mind into one off a swooning fan girl, and dragged me back from the gate of heaven. Makes sense that he was the devil, because if he were God, he should be the other side of the door in heaven. But instead, he was dragging me away from heaven, hence, he was the devil. Would he be dragging me to hell then? Where was hell? Oh dear_ Gawds_ no!

"NOOOOOO! DON'T SHUT ME YOUR COFFIN! NO! NO! I WON'T GO! I'VE BEEN A GOOD GIRL! I SHARED MATERIA! I GAVE AN UGLY FAT GUY THE IMPRESSION THAT HE MIGHT GET LAID! I MEAN THAT'S NEVER GOIN' TO HAPPEN FOR HIM, BUT I GAVE HIM HOPE! SO PLEASE NO! DON'T SHUT ME IN YOUR COFFIN!" I screamed.

"Yuffie! I'm not going to shut you in a coffin," the even more pissed off voice in my ear says again.

"Oh...Where'd Teef go?" I asked, frowning when I suddenly noticed that she'd gone. Just POOFED away. Tifa was drinking buddy! But I had been to intent on screaming that I hadn't seen Cloud take a much more persuadable Tifa upstairs, and shot Vinnie a 'good luck with Yuffie' glance.

"She's gone to bed," Vinnie answered, releasing his hold on me. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad about this particular action. And how could Tifa go to bed on me?

"So it's just me and you," I said, "You know what we should do? We should DRINK!" I made a run for the bar door.

"AHHH!" I yelped as Vinnie appeared in front of me. Had he teleported or something?

"No Yuffie. You're going to go to sleep," he said.

"SPOILSPORT! NEVER!" I hollered, skittering away from him. And that's how Vinnie ended up chasing me around the kitchen. I was blundering around, and knocking chairs and such over. I didn't mean to, but in the end, they proved to be good distraction for Vinnie. Until-

"Yuffie stop there's a..."

THUMP!

I actually bounced off of the wall. Not rebounded, _bounced_. Where had the wall come from? I hadn't seen it coming! Stupid mother fu-

A hand caught me underneath my arms, and then a golden claw swooped down and caught the back of my knees, sweeping me literally off my feet.

I blinked. I was in Vinnie's arms. I looked at him.

"Smooth Vinnie. Much smoother that those dufusses in the club,"

"You're going to bed," he told me firmly, with no room for objections, and started walking. I sighed, but nonetheless, put my arms around his neck as he carried me bridal style.

"Your claw is cold!" I complained. He didn't seem very bothered. I glared. "I could get hyperthermia here mister!"

"I very much doubt that you will get hyperthermia from my claw Yuffie," he said calmly.

"You'd better hope not," I muttered. His lips tugged upwards a little.

"Y' know," I whispered to him, "I love you the most," He almost stopped, his red eyes wide with surprise, "Out of everyone. I said I love everyone, because I do, but we're the best. I bet we've killed more monsters than everyone else put together. Y' know why? Because we're the best,"

"Yes Yuffie," was all he said. I continued to watch him.

"Have I ever told you you have pretty eyes?" I asked suddenly.

"..?." his eyes flickered to me in surprise again.

"Yeah, you do. There gorgeous, Red wine coloured," I cracked a grin, "I had lot of red wine tonight...Hey, do you know what colour eyes I want?" he started ascending the stairs.

"What colour?" He kind of looked a little relieved as the conversation moved from his eyes to mine.

"Rainbow coloured!" I hollered, throwing my arms out. I wobbled a bit, and Vinnie's Grip tightened again. I quickly refastened my arms around his neck.

"Rainbow coloured...?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah! Y' know, multicoloured!" I detailed. He stared at me for a second, into my eyes.

"I think your eyes are fine as they are Yuffie," he murmured. I pouted.

"But rainbow are pretty, and I want pretty eyes to!" I disagreed. We were at the top of the stairs now.

"Stormy Grey is dazzling," he told me, setting me down in front of my bedroom door, "Night Yuffie,"

"Nighty Night Vinnie," I fumbled (drunk on alcohol, and drunk on some certain red wine) and stumbled into my room. Even though my brain was very, very intoxicated, I suddenly remembered something, and grinned. I tottered over to my wardrobe, and jumped, my hands searching to lock onto the top of it, but, I was very drunk.

\/\/\/

Vincent was just turning round to head back to his room, when he heard a crash and a curse. From Yuffie's room. Closing his eyes in frustration, he turned around, and went into Yuffie's room. She was lying on the floor, in front of her wardrobe.

"I was sure it was on top," she mumbled to herself, then "Ah-Ha!"

Vincent watched as she wriggled forward, pushing herself into the gap between the floor and wardrobe. He also noticed one of the wardrobe legs come off the floor as Yuffie forced herself underneath. But most of all, he also noticed her wriggling butt.

"Got you!" she announced triumphantly and somewhat muffled. The she started to wiggle out. Vincent kept forcing his eyes away from her wriggling back end.

"OWW!" she howled as she hit the head on the corner on the wardrobe. She squirmed one last time and cleared herself from the wardrobe, she withdrew her hand, and Vincent saw with exasperation, frustration and annoyance, that she was clutching a bottle of vodka. He couldn't believe it. He narrowed his eyes into a frown.

She sat up straight, and noticed Vincent.

"Hey Vinnie," she pulled the cork off the bottle with her teeth, and spat it out. She looked back at Vincent, and suddenly narrowed her eyes.

"Hey! You pervert! You were staring at my ass!" she accused. Vincent struggled kept his face blank. _How did she know?_

"I was not," he lied.

"Don't lie Vinnie! You were staring at my ass! Admit it! I have had guys staring at my butt all night, so don't think I don't know!" she scowled.

"I was not staring at your butt Yuffie," he said.

/\/\/\

He had been staring at my butt. I could tell.

"Sure, sure, you just keep lying. I knew you were, so I don't know why you're lying. Is it like some Vinnie rule? Or maybe something to do with you dignity? Whatever. My butt's just too irresistible. Even for you," I shrugged and grinned, and took a swig from my bottle of vodka. Ahhh, bliss. Thank Leviathan I had it.

Vinnie was not looking happy. He was glaring at me.

"It's not my fault you were staring at my ass Vinnie Valentine," I said loudly, "Lighten up!" I offered him the bottle. His glare really was full glare flare power now. I pulled the bottle back.

"Fine. More for me," I took another gulp, but, _again_, the bottle of bliss was wrench away from mouth. I was getting severely _pissed off_ by this _steal-Yuffie's-Vodka_ thing now. I looked up, my hand still poised as if it had a bottle in. Vinnie was standing, no, _towering_ over me, glaring. I gulped.

"Bed, now," he commanded. He was _PISSED_.

"Excuse me?" I stuttered. He suddenly hauled me to my feet. Whoops...I really had annoyed him...

"Get to bed. _Now_," he repeated forcefully. Inwardly I was cringing.

"What if I don't want to? What you going to do?" I said nevertheless, defiantly. Ha! What was he going to do? Spank me? Whatever! This was VINNIE.

"I'm going to stand here until you are in that bed, asleep," he informed me, not to nicely.

"Wow. You really are a pervert. You're going to stand and watch me change into my PJs?" I sniggered. Next think I know, he grabbed my PJs (which I leave on my bed every day) and shoved me into the bathroom, shoving my PJs into my hands, and shutting the door.

Opps...I really had made him mad...I started to change into my PJs. I felt the drunkenness clear little to make way for my ninja-ness. I am the _great_ Ninja Yuffie Kisaragi, and Vinnie can stand there all he wants, but I will _not_ go to sleep! I am a Ninja! A _great_ Ninja! I started brushing my teeth furiously. I don't need sleep! I was going to defy him; he _stole_ my vodka!

I slammed open the bathroom door, and chucked my clothes onto the floor. Vinnie was standing by my bedroom door, arms crossed. My vodka was being held prisoner in his claw. I glared at him, and climbed under my covers. Might as well be comfy. I crossed my arms on top of my covers, and prepared to glare with all my ninja power at Vinnie.

He met my glare. I glared at him for a while, but he just glared steadily back at me. STUPID VAMPIRE! YOU'RE JUST WAITING FOR ME TO FALL ASLEEP SO YOU CAN SUCK MY BLOOD! WELL, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! IF I DON'T SLEEP, NEITHER DO YOU, _SUCKER_! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY VODKA! _DAMNIT_ MY BED'S COMFY! DON'T SUCUM YUFFIE! IT'S A CONSPIRACY! ITS ALL PART OF VINNIE'S PLAN! HE _KNOWS_ YOU GOT NO SLEEP LAST NIGHT AND THAT YOU'VE HAD NO SLEEP TONIGHT! HE _KNOWS_ THAT THIS BED IS SO COMFY IT SENDS YOU TO SLEEP! HE _KNOWS_ THAT ALCOHOL EVENTUALLY MAKES YOU SLEEPY! HE KNOWS STARING INTO HIS GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MEZMERISING, BEAUTIFUL EYES MAKES YOU SLEEPY!

Every moment I was battling a fierce enemy; sleep. I was fighting every single second to keep my eyes open.

"Sleep Yuffie," his low, sexy voice said. And I knew that that was it. I had no chance. His voice was like a spell, sending me to sleep.

"Never," I murmured nevertheless, but my consciousness was drifting away and I slipped into the slumber world.

O

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The last thing I saw was Vinnie, in all his Godly glory, smiling, because yes, he is a God.

* * *

**_ta-da! Did you like it?_**

**_I borrowed two parts of this from Friends. I got the Yuffie-gets-high idea from when Ross takes too many painkillers, and also gets high. When I watched this episode I thought 'I wonder what Yuffie would get like if she took to many?' and hence, too many painkillers/happy pills was born!_**

**_The second part I borrowed was the 'whose got the keys' except in my version, they start hysterically laughing._**

**_This was originally just Yuffie and Tifa get drunk, but then I had the happy pill inspiration, and I thought they would work well combined. Towards the end of this chap, I think I started to run out of steam a bit, but I think its okay._**

**_There is a second part to this, and i'll post it very soon. I would have done it all in one, but then it would have been to long XD_**

**_Thanks for reading, and reviews are very welcome!_**


	5. Hangover Horrors

**_yeah, i updated really quick. its just because this is the continuation of the previous chapter. i wanted to wait until i had written this part before i updated the last chapter because if i hadnt, i would have not written this for ages, and when i finaaly did update this, you probably would have lost the thread of this little drunk plot. _**

**_i also got my 5 reviews within 12 hours, so i updated as soon as i got the 5th review. my next updates wont be so soon, but they will be quicker if i get my 5 review per chapter. i just need abit of motivation!_**

**_please bear in mind that i have never had a hang over before because i am to young to drink, so i apologise to anyone who has had hangovers, and i have understated how bad they really are (te-he)!_**

**_a big thankyou to my reviewers, and an epecially big thankyou to splodge82! you're awesome, and your reviews made me really happy! that sound a bit corny, but hey, they did, so thankyou!_**

* * *

The next morning, I felt _SO_ hung over. It was the WORST hang over I have EVER had without a doubt. Not that I have a hangover. Ninjas don't have hangovers.

I climbed out of bed groaning. My head felt like it was going to split in two. I thumped heavily down the stairs, wincing every time my foot made the jarring, loud contact with the floor. I threw open the kitchen door, almost taking Vincent out (it's his own fault for standing so close to the damn thing!). I sat down at the table, next to Marlene. Tifa was standing at the counter doing gawd knows what. She looked as bad as I felt. Which was crap in its worst form.

"Good morning Aunt Yuffie," Marlene greeted cheerfully.

"No Marlene. Not Good. Very, _very_ bad," I moaned, holding my forehead in my hands. The stupid man by the door had the cheek to _smirk_.

"Why ever not Aunt Yuffie?" she asked, the picture of innocence. If I had not been feeling so _bad_, I would have noticed that she was _too_ innocent. Tifa slammed a glass in front of me, holding a clear liquid. Hang over remedy. Not that I was-

"Hung over I suspect Marlene," Vinnie smirked. I _glared_.

"_Ninjas_ do not get Hung over Vincent," I snarled. I grabbed the glass, and gulped the foul tasting remedy down all in one go. Then resisted the temptation of then hurling the glass at the still smirking gunman.

"They don't? Then why did you drink that?" Vince asked.

So I did what anybody else would do. I stuck my hand up, and gave Vince the finger. Marlene gasped (oh _come on_! _Barret_ in her _father_!), earning me a slap round the head from Tifa. I was going to scream _'GO $^%~ YOURSELF VALENTINE'_ But Tifa would have beat my butt from here to Wutai-I have no desire to meet my dearest daddy- and Vince's already growing smirk would have got even bigger. Y' know, this is the first time I've ever seen his smirk so much...

"You're talkative this morning Vincent. Did someone finally remove that stick from your ass?" I said through gritted teeth. The smirk turned to a disapproving glance. By this point, Denzel wandered, yawning, into the kitchen.

"Morning everyone...Aunt Yuffie?"

The hang over remedy may have cleared my head a little, but my stomach seemed to feel that it was its turn to make my life hell. I stood up, and shoved my way past Denzel, my hand clamped over my mouth, in a desperate attempt to reach the bathroom before I emptied my stomach all over the floor. The smirk had returned to that bastard's face as I barrelled past him through the door.

OOO

I moaned, and wiped my mouth. I staggered up from in front of the toilet, and cleaned up the mess I had made. Tifa had a hangover as well, and she is not nice when she has one, and I felt bad enough without added pain from the consequences of expecting her to clean up. Then I took a shower, and changed into my clothes. I bandaged my wrist (it was still aching, but I had got used to it now). I felt a little better, but still crappy enough.

I wandered into the bar, and oh GREAT, Reno was there. I was really not in the mood to handle that idiot!

"Aw, the princess doesn't look to good this morning. Heard you and boobs got pretty wasted last night," he greeted, grinning like an idiot. I chose to ignore him.

"Aw, not talkin' darlin'? What's up?" his grin grew. I glared at him.

"I feel like _reincarnated_ _crap_ Reno, so bugger off," I snarled. I am really NOT IN THE MOOD.

"Don't be like that princess. I want a beer anyway. And while you're getting me one, why don't you tell me what happened to you last night?" he was still grinning stupidly. I scowled, and began to pour his a stupid beer. And what the hell? A beer? At 10:30am? He sure does have problems. I handed him the damn thing.

"I don't remember what happened last night," I scowled. It was true. I remembered vaguely that me and Tifa had been locked out, and Cloud and Vince had let us in. Then me and Tifa made a break for the bar, but they stopped us. Everything else was hazy and cloudy.

"Yuffie!" Tifa suddenly shot into the bar, sounding annoyed.

"Yes Teef?" I asked. She yanked the beer out of Reno's hand.

"We don't serve beer this early!" she frowned at me, "Go watch the kids! Reno! You know better than this!"

I stomped out of the bar and into the back room where Marlene and Denzel were watching TV. I grumpily collapsed on the sofa. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out two materia orbs, and frowned at them.

"What...? Ahh," the materia I had stolen from the man in the club. I frowned again, "Its rubbish!" I muttered. And I had shared it! Crap it maybe, but I had shared it! Shared materia! MY MATERIA!

"Nice materia aunt Yuffie, can we have it?" Denzel suddenly piped up. I frowned even more.

"NO!" I had given enough away last night! These demon children defiantly weren't having it!

"But you just said it was rubbish!" Marlene pouted.

"You were sharing it last night!" Denzel argued. I stared in horror at him.

"You...last night...how did you...what did you see?" I stammered. Oh gawds! My day just keeps getting _better _and _better_! I was totally wasted last night; Leviathan only knows what I said...

"You and Tifa woke us up when you came in, so Marlene and I watched through the stair well," Denzel told me proudly.

"Yeah. You gave Uncle Vincent a materia, and told him to 'turn that frown upside down', then Cloud asked why were you giving it away, and you said because you loved them, and gave him and Tifa some materia as well," Marlene chipped in.

"Then Cloud said you really were drunk, and then Uncle Vincent said-"

"-No, you were wasted, then-"

"-Tifa said you both were-"

"-hammered, and you said you were a naughty word, and that Cait sith-"

"-Looked sexy to you right then so Cloud and Uncle Vinnie were Gods-"

"-Then you said some stuff about drinking vodka straight and you were getting free drinks, and then you both-"

"-Tried to get into the bar, but Cloud stopped Tifa and took her to bed, and Uncle Vincent was holding you back-"

"-And you screamed to not be locked in his coffin, and that you had been a good girl, and shared materia-"

"-And you'd given an ugly fat guy the impression that he was gonna' get laid-"

"-Then Uncle Vincent said you were going to bed, and he chased you around the kitchen, and then picked you up when you ran into a wall, and carried you to bed," Marlene and Denzel paused here, both out of breath. I was dumbstruck. That was what had happened? Oh. Dear. _Gawds_. I knew they weren't lying, because it was starting to come back to me, but I couldn't remember anything after running into the wall. I suppose that's because a) I hit my head, and b) I went to sleep not long after this, and when you get drunk, you tend to remember less towards the time you went to sleep.

I still stared at the two kids, my eyes wide with horror. Oh. _Gawds_.

"You said some stuff to Uncle Vincent on the way to your room as well," Denzel said. He looked like this was his final, greatest trump card. I felt my blood run cold at the smug expression on his face; it couldn't be good.

"What did I say?" my voice was barely a whisper. Denzel's grin grew.

"You told him that you loved him the most, out of every one, and that you both were the best. Then you said that he had pretty eyes, like red wine, and they were gorgeous, and that you wanted rainbow coloured eyes," Marlene informed a horrified me. I had said...all that? I...Oh...I was going to...it was impossible...OH GAWD!

"And you said that he was a damn whole lot sexier than Cloud," Denzel proclaimed. My jaw fell open.

I. Am. Going. To. _Die_.

"I...you...I'm...You don't say a word off this to anyone!" I hissed, pointing my fingers at them threateningly. Marlene smiled.

"We want that materia" she stated. I was about to shout 'NO!' when I realised what was happening. I was being BLACKMAILED! ME! The great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi! Master of blackmail!

"Your blackmailing me!" I accused.

"Blackmail? We're not! We're just telling you what happened!" Denzel disagreed. But there was a mischievous glint in his eye. I took one look into their, innocent, scheming, sly, cunning little faces, and made my mind up. It was bad enough that Vince knew I thought he was sexier than Cloud, but everyone else knowing as well? I would have to steal Vince's coffin and hide in it!

I handed them the Materia.

"Not a word to anyone!" I hissed. Marlene smiled.

"Nope! Don't worry Aunt Yuffie!" she chirped.

"We won't tell anyone," Denzel promised, and with that, and their newly acquired, _blackmailed_ materia, they skipped off.

I _could not_ _believe_ what had happened to me. I have been blackmailed by two _KIDS_, and Vince knows that I think he is Sexy. And Sexier than Cloud, who I once complained was a stupid, sexy, materia hogging idiot, so he knows I though Cloud is sexy, which means he knows that I think he is super sexy!

Oh _gawd_, how am I going to face Vince?

OOO

A few hours later, my awesome check-beforehand-to-see-if-Vinnie's-in-a-room-so-you-can-avoid-him plan completely failed when he walked straight into the room I was in. I inwardly froze.

_Ohgawdohgawdohgawd_ _think of an excuse to get out of the room Yuffie! And quick_! _Work brain! WORK_! But my brain refused to work. I snuck a glance at him. He was watching me. I quickly looked away. I couldn't even look him in the damn eye! _Oh_, which by the way, he _also_ knows I think are gorgeous.

STOP STARING AT ME! He's making me feel so uncomfortable! Every time I sneak a glance at him, he's STARING! I fidgeted awkwardly. I usually start blabbering away to him about nothing in particular, and I never know if he's really listening, but today it's just silence. Awkward silence. Uncomfortable silence. How was I supposed to talk though? He knows! He _knows_! I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing; I mean so what? I think he's sexy. Wow. Because he is! But...HE KNOWS!

Suddenly the growing silence became too much.

"Hey Vince? I'm sorry if anything I said last night made you uncomfortable," BECAUSE IT MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE!

"...?"

"I mean it was all true but yeah..." why did I say that? WHY?

He just looked at me with questioning eyes.

"Y' know, about loving you the most, and about you having pretty eyes," I rushed what I was going to say next, "And about you being way sexier than Cloud..." INSERT EMBARRESSED BLUSH HERE!

"...You think I'm sexier than Cloud?" he startled me when he spoke. There was a definite surprised, but smug smirk in that voice. I felt confused...

"Well yeah...I said that last night going up the stairs didn't...I..." something about Vinnie's expression, and what he had said suddenly seemed to click, "I didn't say that did I?"

He shook his head slowly, once to the left, then to the right. The beginning of a smirk were showing oh his stupid, sexy face (oh, which by the way, he didn't know, but know knows know) _Oh_. _Gawd_...

"Oh...umm...I...uhh...well..." I stammered. My face was redder than his cloak...I had just told him I thought he was sexier than Cloud!

STOP SMIRKING AT ME YOU STUPID, SEXY JERK!

There only one thing you can do in this situation.

_RUN AWAY!_

"Hey, is that Tifa calling me? Yeah it is!" I bolted. Out of the room, down the hall, and upstairs. I skidded to a halt when I caught my name from Marlene and Denzel's room.

"Should you really have told Yuffie that she said she thought Uncle Vincent was sexier than Cloud? I mean, she didn't say that!" I heard Marlene say worriedly.

"Yeah! She might not have said it, but that's what she thinks! Anyway, she wouldn't have given us the materia if we hadn't," Denzel answered.

"YOU %^(*&~$ KIDS! I'M GONNA' KILL YOU! YOU ^*£%~! BLACKMAILED ME! I DIDN'T SAY THAT I THOUGHT VINCENT WAS SEXIER THAN CLOUD YOU LYING RATS! I WANT MY MATERIA BACK!" I threw open the bedroom door, and screamed; I was going to MAKE them REGRET what they had done!

"Quick! Run Marlene!" Denzel yelled over me. I chased after them.

"I'M GOING TO $^&}*£ KILL YOU! YOU'RE BOTH GONNA' HAVE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH! YOU MADE IT UP! YOU _LIED_!" I continued to scream, running after them. They're both surprisingly fast, but, I was going to kill. And they probably knew that.

I continued to chase them, screaming and cursing at them. We flashed past Vinnie and Tifa a few times before the little hounds of hell ran out the back door into the back yard.

Suddenly Tifa was there. Right in front of us. Hands on her hips, and boy did she look _mad_.

All three of us came to a halt in front of her.

"What is going on?" she yelled.

"THEY BLACKMAILED ME! THEY SAW WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT AND BLACKMAILED ME!" I immediately yelled my side of the story, the truth.

"WE DIDN'T! She found out that we heard last night, and _she_ blackmailed _us_! She gave us materia and told us to not to tell anyone!" Marlene and Denzel contradicted. My mouth fell open. Those lying _rats_! They had twisted it _all_!

"NO I DID NOT-"

"BE QUIET YUFFIE! You know better than this! You do not blackmail the kids, and you defiantly do not chase them making death threats!" Tifa was livid. And of course she would side with demons, "and so what? They heard. Nothing happened last night that could be blackmail material! What could they possibly have to blackmail you over?"

"But they _DID_! And they _LIED_!" and I made a total ass of myself in front o Vinnie because of it!

"What did they lie about Yuffie?" Tifa snapped sharply. I clamped my mouth shut. There was no _way_ I was going to let Tifa know as well!

"Exactly! Nothing!" Tifa exclaimed. I gritted my teeth, and added her onto my '_to kill_' list directly under Denzel and Marlene.

OOO

That evening, I was sullenly staring at the TV, which Marlene and Denzel were watching. I had been doing chores _ALL_ day because of those two lying brats! They get away with EVERYTHING! Tifa thinks they're frikin' angels! Well they're not! They're _demons_! Demons from _hell_ to make my life _hell_! Well, all I can say is I'm onto them! And I _will_ get them back one day! I _know_ what they _are_!

Crap. Those are Vinnie's footstep coming down the hall! Tifa probably sent him out of the kitchen and into here to make sure I'm not strangling the kids. Or because she doesn't want anyone in the kitchen while she makes dinner. She's _still_ in a bad mood. Well like I am. We've both still got hangovers. But the results of her foul mood seem to be directed at me, which is _not fair!_

I quickly leaned my head back and snap my eyes shut, feigning sleep. I still didn't want to face Vinnie. I evened my breathing out, just as he entered the room. The sofa I was sitting on saged a bit as he sat down next to me.

"Hello Uncle Vincent!" Marlene greeted. Little bugger.

"...Evening," Vinnie responded. I think he guessed what happened between me, Marlene and Denzel, with the whole blackmail and lying thing.

"Aunt Yuffie's been asleep for awhile now," she stated. Oh? I have? Probably because I haven't muttered an obscenity at them for awhile and they daren't turn around and look at me for fear of my evil eye.

We all sat in silence for awhile (well, I didn't really count because I was 'asleep') until Marlene broke it again.

"Uncle Vincent?"

"...Yes Marlene?" I swear he answers that kid more than he answers ME. Which is TOTALLY wrong.

"Well, Aunt Yuffie said something last night that I don't understand. What does 'get laid' mean?"

I guffawed. I couldn't help it. I quickly turned it into a yawn, and let my eyes flicker open. The first thing I saw was the look on Vinnie's face, which caused me to snort again. It was priceless. Embarrassing myself and then having to feign sleep in front of him, and 'waking' up to this was all totally worth it.

"Aunt Yuffie! You're awake!" Denzel exclaimed, almost fearfully. I grinned.

"Yes I am kiddo," I smirked.

"Hello Aunt Yuffie! Uncle Vincent's just about to tell me what 'get laid' means!" Marlene beamed.

"He is?" I asked in fake surprise. I turned towards the man in question. He was looking at me. His eyes were pleading. HA! This was payback for all the smirking he had done at me today! This was payback for making me so uncomfortable and embarrassed and smirking at it!

"Well, as much as I'd _love_ to hear his explanation, I promised Tifa I'd help her with dinner," look whose smirking now, _sucker_! Get out of it yourself! And stop with the '_help me'_ eyes!

He did. He glared at me instead. I skipped from the room, and into the kitchen.

"Quick Teef! Vincent's about to explain the 'birds and the bees' to Marlene!" I giggled, grabbing her arm. This was bound to cheer her up.

"What?" she asked amused at the thought.

"Marlene asked Vincent what 'get laid' means!" I cackled. Tifa giggled.

"As much as I'd love to hear Vincent explain, Marlene's too young to know yet!" she was grinning though. Probably imagining Vinnie explaining the subject, like I was. Silent, socially retarded Vinnie. Explain what happens when 'two people love each other very much'!

We walked back down the hall, and paused behind the door.

"So Uncle Vincent, what does it mean?" Marlene asked.

"Dinners ready!" Tifa burst in, grinning from ear to ear, with me behind her. We may not have heard the explanation, but it was sure entertaining enough imagining it!

Over the dinner table, Vinnie glared at our expressions. Tifa was repressing giggles by biting her lip whilst putting plates in front of us, and I had my elbow on the table, with my hand over my mouth, pretending to cough, while actually suppressing laughter.

Oh! This was going to be a lively meal seeing as me and Tifa couldn't make eye contact without exploding into hysterical giggling...

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"So what are you doing at school at the moment Denzel?" Tifa asked.

"Well in science we're doing biology," he said.

"What topic are you doing?" Tifa asked. Denzel suddenly looked uncomfortable and muttered something . Tifa caught my eye and winked. Oh, so Denzel could have explained the 'birds and the bees' to Marlene because that what he's learning about at school rather than Vinnie?

Vinnie explaining the 'birds and the bees'... I choked on my food, laughing and Vincent scowled at me.

* * *

**_I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as you did the other one! The whole drunken/hangover thing was great fun to write, and I hope you had great fun reading!_**

**_My next update probably won't be for awhile. I'll be starting a completly new mini plot thing, so in the mean time, thanks for reading, and please keep reviewing!_**

**_x x x_**


	6. School Situations

_**And here's the next update! It was pretty quick actually. Well for me anyway, but it was your 16 reviews for my last chapter (which is more than 3 times the amount I hope for!) that really spurred me into writing this chapter! Or rather made me push that pile of school work aside and write this instead, but of course, this is way funner writing that school work! And as usual, this was so fun to write! I seem to love putting Vincent and Yuffie is these situations!**_

_**A HUGE thankyou to my reviewers! I love you all! Your comments really make my day! You guys really make writing worthwhile!**_

_**DISCLAIMER *sigh* I do not own Final Fantasy 7. It belongs to square enix.**_

_Edited 19/06/2010_

* * *

"Is that really necessary?" I asked Vince. We were in the bar (at around lunchtime), which _I'd_ been put in charge of because Chocobo and Boobs had gone on a mission for Reeve. Well Tifa had put Vinnie in charge as well, but let's face it; I was the one working behind the bar. He was just sitting there cleaning his gun.

"..."

"I mean, your scaring away the customers. They think you're going to shoot them,"

"..."

"Look, seriously Vince. Just put it back in its holster. People can see it there, so they still won't dare start a fight or anything," I argued my case. For crying out loud! People didn't dare approach the counter! There were usually guys hitting on me! STUPID GUN CLEANING MORON!

"Vinnie! If you're going to scare off people, you should at least talk to me!"

"..."

"JEESH!" I scowled. He didn't even glance up.

"OK EVERY ONE! TIME FOR A REFIL! ON THE HOUSE!" I called. Vince looked up at this, but I was too busy refilling glasses to notice. People headed over to me hesitantly, casting glances at Vinnie, but relaxed when they didn't get a bullet to the head, but got some free booze instead.

"...That's not good for business," Vince suddenly stated. I snorted.

"Says HE! Jeez Vince, _you_ sit there, _scaring_ away customers with your gun, and then tell _ME_ it's bad for business when _I_ give people a free drink, so maybe they realise you're not going to shoot them, and start buying drinks again!" I huffed at him. He just continued regarding me with his melt-Yuffie-into-a-puddle-of-goo-red eyes, then went back to cleaning his stupid gun. I muttered, annoyed by him.

"You think I can't handle a pub fight huh? HUH? Well I can! I do when you're not here! And I did last night, so I don't know who _you_ think _you_ are Vincent Valentine!"

"I do not doubt your abilities handling-"

"Then why are you showing off your ridiculously powerful gun you stupid vamp!"

"I merely wish to prevent any incidents in which you may get hurt," he finished, frowning at the name 'vamp'.

"I won't get hurt! When have I _ever _come off worse?" GET YOUR SELF OUT OF THAT! HA!

"I believe you are still wearing a bandage around your wrist from the time you did, whereas your opponent just suffered a nose bleed,"

DAMN! I forgot that.

"I...well...THAT TIME DOESN'T COUNT!" I snapped.

"Because...?"

"I WON! WHEN HAVE I EVER _LOST_ A BAR FIGHT?"I rephrased my question. HA! His turn to frown now!

"..."

"Exactly! So put that gun away!" I ordered, triumphantly.

"...It needs cleaning," I let out a scream of frustration.

"THEN GO CLEAN IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

"I may be needed here," he replied calmly.

"NO YOU WON'T! I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE!" I was ready to rip my hair out at him.

"Yes, but if I clean my gun here, there will be no such problems,"

"THE PROBLEM RIGHT NOW IS YOU AND YOUR STUPID GUN!"

"Why are you being so argumentative when there is enough evidence for me to clean my gun here?"

Deep breaths Yuffs. Don't strangle him. _Deeeeeeeep_ breaths-

"AHHH! JUST BE QUIET!" I screamed.

"You told me I should at least talk to you," he smirked. I can't believe he just made a funny.

"OH FOR...I'M GOING TO $)*&^!%~ KILL YOU! JUST...JUST...YOU KNOW WHAT? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I'M HAVING THIS ARGUEMENT WITH YOU WHEN I COULD BE BEING CHATTED UP BY SOME SE-_HOT_ GUY WITH LOADS OF MATERIA!" I quickly changed the word 'sexy' to 'hot'.

"Have a problem with saying 'sexy' to me Yuffie?" his smirk is even larger now. I blushed. I had not said the word 'sexy' when Vince was in a 10-mile-radius since that little incident a few days ago. I was still embarrassed by it, and he was still all smirky-make-Yuffie-blush-and-embarrassed about it. Plus he was a sexy guy with materia, and he knows he's sexy (thanks to me) and he has lots of materia (thanks to me because I constantly complain that he has loads when he stops me stealing it), so i would have been inferring at i wanted to get chatted up by him.

"I...err..._SHUDDUP_!" _GREAT_ save Yuffie. Oh, look now, his smirk was _growing_ instead of _shrinking_!

I turned away from him, my face still red, and watched the last small group of people leave the bar. It's the end of lunch time now, so they're probably all going back to work.

My PHS suddenly started ringing.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Miss Kisaragi? This is principle Spencers. I'm calling about Denzel,"

"Denzel? Is he ok?" I asked, frowning. Sure he was a little bugger sometimes (cough, cough, materia, blackmailer), but I was still worried. I looked up, and Vinnie caught my eye questioningly.

"He's got into some trouble. I called Miss Lockhart and Mr Strife, but they didn't answer, so I tried a Mr Valentine from the secondary contacts, but he didn't answer either,"

"No. He never does answer his phone," I narrowed my eyes at Vince.

"You were next on the secondary contacts. Would it be possible for you to come to school? You see he got into a fight,"

"Sure, I'll be right there," I hung up, and looked back at Vince.

"Denzel got into a fight at school. The principle tried calling Tifa and Cloud but they didn't answer. She also tried you, but you didn't answer either,"

"My phone is in the kitchen,"

"What good is it in _there_? What is _Sephiroth_ had returned, and _destroyed_ the _planet_, and your excuse was 'my phone was in the kitchen'?" I accused. Figures he never answers my damn calls if he never had his phone on him!

"Sephiroth returning again is unlikely Yuffie,"

"He did it once; maybe he'll do it again! Anyway, _I_ have to go and speak to the principle. I feel so special!" I squealed. This was so exciting! The principle wanted _ME_ to go and talk about Denzel!

"Perhaps I should go Yuffie. I do not know how to tend to the bar," that's right Vinnie! You go _burst_ my bubble!

"What's so hard about tending the bar? You just hand out drinks to people while they stare at your chest! Mind you, you're male so you don't need to worry about that. And anyway, the principle called _me_!" I frowned. I WANTED TO GO!

"Yuffie, she called me as well," he reminded. Yep, he officially _stole my thunder_.

"Well you were _rude_ enough to _not_ answer," I fired back. No way was I going to let him go and not me!

"Yuffie it makes more sense for me to-"

"I don't care! Screw sense! Screw the bar! Screw you!"

"Fine. But I will go with you," huh?

"Why?" I complained.

"Because you do not know what the school wishes to say, why you even need to go, or what you need to do," DAMN HIM! SO WHAT?

"And you do?" I shot back; annoyed that he had spoken the truth. There's always a first time!

"..."

"HA! Exactly!"

OOO

After grabbing the keys to the car, I locked up the bar, and headed for the garage, jumping into the driver's seat before Vince could. He frowned (when isn't he?) and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Vince! What are you frowning at _now_? You need to smile more. SMILE!" I nagged him.

"You are not the best of drivers Yuffie. I have every right to frown when my whole life will be flashing before me before long," the CHEEK! I am a _great_ driver!

"I'll have you know that I am an _awesome_ driver Vinnie Valentine!"

"Hn. Put your seatbelt on," he ordered. I frowned, and put the damn thing on, then put the keys in the ignition, and reversed out. Quickly.

"Whoops!" I giggled as I knocked over a pile of boxes. Vinnie just sighed. I pulled out onto the road, and whizzed away.

"Whoo-hoo!" I cried as we sped up the road.

"Yuffie, please slow down,"

"WHY?" I hollered, going even faster.

"This is a 40mph area," what is with him?

"Psh! Whatever," I rolled my eyes. We drove in silence for awhile. I slammed on the brakes as a queue of traffic appeared round the corner. I think I gave Vinnie whip lash...

"Come ooooon," I whined, honking at the drivers in front.

"Yuffie, it's a red light," Vinnie sighed.

"So what?" they never stop me! Vinnie turned and gave me a disbelieving glance.

"Have you got your gun Vinnie? Yes? Make sure the principle can see it. Shame it would be to obvious if you started cleaning it. See, _this_ is the kind of situation you clean it in! Not in the bar!" I told him.

"Why would I need to clean my gun?" he asked. Is he thick?

"Um, _duh _Vince. Come on! Who's more likely to come off worse if you have that on show huh?" I say, putting my foot down as the traffic lights turn green.

"..."

"I bet Denzel fought like, some school bully whose parents refuse to believe that their child is a horrid little wretch, and needs to be shot," I waved my hands.

"...!" Vince looked at me with alarmed eyes.

"Ok, maybe not needs to be shot, but you get my point," I turned right at a junction, pulling out in front of, and narrowly missing a car that was now behind us.

"What the hell he honking at?" I exclaim. Stupid man. I beep back. Vince just sighs. I sped away from the man who _clearly_ has problems driving.

"I mean, we're gonna' win anyway. Do you know how these people _act_ around Avalanche? Plus _I'm_ a princess, and _you're_ Vincent Valentine," I speed through a red light.

"...?" I turned and look disbelievingly at him.

"Vince, do you not _know_ how many fan sites on the internet you have?"

"...no"

"Well you have _loads_. WAY more than Cloud, and he had a fair few. You should take pride in that fact. Its probably because he's just Mr blonde guy, but you're Mr dark and mysterious guy," I informed him, whizzing through another red light.

"And you know this because?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"I've seen them duh! We all have one! Even _Cait sith_, does,"

"..."

"You should be proud about it Vinnie. Not all dot dot dot. You should check yours out. I think your official one is _mybloodyvalentine _or something like that anyway," I then realised something, "then again maybe you shouldn't. You might end up wanting shooting all the fan girls. And fan boys actually. There a fair few men after you as well..."

"..?."

"Well they're quite a lot of bitchy comments about Lucrecia on there," I inform him, "well, actually about every female you know," I added, "shoot," I cussed as I almost missed the turning, and make a very tight turn to compensate, throwing Vinnie against the dashboard.

"It's not fair! I only have one fan site, and that's my official one because my stupid father keeps shutting the rest down. The only reason he hasn't shut the official one down it because they're clever fans on there that have out smarted him!" I grumbled. We reached the school, and I parked the car, and jumped out. Once Vinnie was out as well, I locked it, and looked around.

"So where do we go?" I asked, feeling slightly intimidated by the tall school building which currently had hundreds of small children inside. Vinnie didn't answer. Just strode off.

"HEY! Wait for me!" I called, running after him. I caught up with him, and had to jog to keep up.

"Vinnie! What's the rush?" I whined. Maybe he was feeling slightly nervous, as I was? After all, we both weren't really great with kids (except Denzel and Marlene) and this place was full of them.

"Maybe I should have brought my shruiken..." I mumbled. We went through the entrance and into the lobby, where a receptionist was sitting behind a desk. It was, thankfully, kid free. The receptionist was a young woman, who looked up when we entered. Her eyes went wide.

"Hi, we're here to see the principle about Denzel?" I asked hesitantly. She blinked, and taped something into her computer. She hurriedly closed something as well. I nudged Vince, and mouthed '_fan site'_ at him, winking. He ignored me.

"Right, um, if you'll come this way," she stammered, getting up, and leading us down a corridor, before knocking on a door which said 'Principle Spencers'. She opened the door, and we went in. The door closed, and she left.

There were three people in the office. Middle aged women-the principle I assumed- and two battered looking kids.

"Hey Denzel," I grinned. He grinned back, some of his obvious nervousness clearing.

"Hi Aunt Yuffie!"

The Principle looked a bit stunned when she saw us. I smirked. We were heroes after all. Maybe she'd thought it was all a joke that heroes were Denzel's emergency contacts.

"Miss Kisaragi, Mr Valentine, take a seat," we did, and I don't know if Vinnie meant it to happen or not, put his cloak fell to the side, revealing Cerberus. The Principle stared, eyes slightly wide. I bit back a grin, and I saw Vinnie looking slightly amused as well. I looked at Denzel, then back to Cerberus, winking. Denzel's grin widened.

The principle seemed to remember herself, and looked back at us.

"Today at lunchtime, Denzel and Thomas here got into a fight," she informed us. I glanced over at the Kids. Denzel had a black eye, and the other boy, 'Thomas' had a split lip and a cut on his face. Both looked rather bruised, but I saw, to my satisfaction, Thomas seemed to have more.

"Denzel won?" I asked. The Principle narrowed her eyes, so I looked over at Denzel. He nodded. HA! No one messes with a kid the great Ninja Yuffie looks after!

"That's-" Vince shot me a glare that said 'be quiet', and narrowed his eyes at me. I immediately caught on, and I stopped myself from saying 'that's my boy' and frowned at Denzel.

"-wrong Denzel! I told you not to use those ninja moves I taught you on anyone!" I mended, frowning at him. Vincent sighed. I turned to him.

"What are you sighing at _now_-" Vinnie hurriedly cut me off with a glance that clearly said 'stop talking'.

"We're just waiting for Thomas's parent to arrive. You got here earlier than I expected," the Principle said. I sent Vince a triumphant glance. That was thanks to my awesome driving!

"Mr Strife and Miss Lockhart didn't answer their phones, so I left a message for them," she continued. I frowned.

"They've gone out for the day, but they should be answering their phones. I hope they're ok. We'd they go?" I asked Vinnie worriedly.

"...To check on the reactor," he answered. I saw the Principle stare at Vinnie. It was the first time he had spoken, and his voice is as gorgeous as he is.

_Ahem_. Where did _that _come from?

"Why'd they go Check on it?" I continued to interrogate. No one ever tells _me_ anything!

"Suspicious movement," was all he said.

"HA! I told you there was a chance that-" Vince interrupted me.

"It has nothing to do with Sephiroth Yuffie," he said, in a tone that warned me not to say anymore. I was oblivious to this though, and confused!

"But Reeve always sends Cloud out if it's something to do with Sephiroth! Why didn't he send us out if it's not?"

"It is files and Data. You do not like Files and Data missions," Ohhhhh! I follow now. Seeing as we're (me, Vincent, Tifa and Cloud) closest to the reactor, Reeve usually sends a pair of us out, and seeing as I hate boring old files and data, he must have sent Tifa and Cloud, rather than me and Vinnie, so I wouldn't get bored, and Vince wouldn't have me complaining in his ear! Plus Tifa and Cloud probably wanted a break from the bar, the kids and delivering.

Opps...we shouldn't really have talked about that in a random principal's office...I see why Vinnie's glaring at me now. That Spencers woman it watching us...

"So Denzel got into trouble and you called right?" I asked, trying to ward the principle's attention away from WRO missions.

"It is not that Denzel merely got into trouble. He used violence against another pupil," she corrected.

"Huh. Denzel doesn't use violence-" I started.

"He did! Look what he did to my face!" suddenly the Thomas kid spoke up in a whiney voice, interrupting me.

"Denzel, you used violence against another pupil?" Vincent asked Denzel directly. Denzel hung his head.

"Yes," he admitted guiltily. I looked at him.

"Denzel! Do you know howTifa's going to react?" I moaned. She wasn't going to leave him alone. She'd be all like 'Denzel, violence is wrong. Are you having problems controlling yourself? It's not your fault Denzel. We can get you help'.

"You brought this on yourself kiddo," I sympathised, then I realised something, "And Cloud! Oh gawd Denzel! Why did you do it?" The principle looked satisfied that Denzel would be punished suitably. The other kid was grinning as well.

"Cloud blames himself already for enough stuff, without thinking you've seen him fight too many monsters, deranged, misguided remnants, and crazy psychopaths!" I exclaimed, the psychopath I was referring to being of course Sephiroth. Denzel quailed under my glare.

A knock at the door signalled the arrival of the other Kid's parents. They entered the room, and hadn't seen who we were yet. _Gawd_ that sounded _vain_.

"Mr and Mrs Roberts, please sit down, this is Mr Valentine and Miss Kisaragi, Denzel's Emergency contacts," Principle Spencers said.

"Why emergency contacts? _I_ want to see the little bully's parents!" Mrs Roberts demanded, in a high voice. I sent an 'I told you so' glance at Vinnie about what I had said about the kid having a melodramatic parent.

"Denzel's guardians are attending to a more important matter of the present," the Principle answered.

"And what is a more important matter than the fact my precious baby was attacked?" she woman squeaked again.

"They are currently destroying data that could possibly be used to reawaken Sephiroth if it falls into the wrong hands," Oh my gawd. _Go_ Vinnie! Whoa! He sounded so cool! He also sounded pissed off.

The Women finally noticed us, and let out a shriek.

"Your members of Avalanche!" the man boomed, "what are you doing here?" he sounded rather taken aback.

"We're Denzel's secondary contacts," I said coolly. The women pointed at Vinnie's gun.

"W...Why have you got t...that?" she said stutter/screamed in panic, "You're going to shoot my son?"

Denzel was smirking at the suddenly terrified expression on Thomas's face, from its previous state of sure certainty when his parent s came in.

"Why would he _shoot_ your son?" I asked, incredulous. What the hell?

"Then why do you have it?" the women shrieked again. She was really hacking me off. And that is not a good thing to do to Yuffie Kisaragi. Perhaps the principle realised this.

"I'm sure Mr Valentine just has it as a precaution as a member of Avalanche, so if you would please sit down Mrs Roberts so we can discuss the matter in hand," she said in a clipped tone. The Roberts did as she asked.

"What is there to discuss? This boy attacked our son!" Mr Roberts said furiously.

"I did not-" Denzel started.

"Denzel did you, or did you not initiate the first hit?" the Principle asked, in a calm tone.

"Well yes but-"

"Thomas did you, or did you not hit him back?" The Principle continued.

"Of course I did!"

"He did it in self defence!" Mrs Roberts squawked.

"Self defence is _blocking_. Hitting back is _retaliation_," I told them. Not always true, but they didn't have to know that.

"You don't seem particularly bothered that your boy hit Thomas first!" Mr Roberts scowled.

"Denzel only acts when he is provoked, and I haven't heard his side of the story yet," I tried to keep my voice calm, but they were really pissing me off.

"He has no side to the story! He hurt my precious baby!" Mrs Roberts shrieked _again_. I think I needed some new ears! I was going to blow my top off at this bloody woman! She was so insanely _stupid_ and _ignorant_ and _I_ was going to-

I suddenly felt a gentle hand on my arm. I looked up into Vinnie's eyes, and felt my frustration calm a little. When he saw this, he let his hand slip down my arm, then back to its original position. I felt myself shiver slightly as his hand ran down my skin. Oh _gawd_, this was _not_ the _time_!

The Principle had ignored Mrs ridiculous Roberts, and asked: "Why did you hit him Denzel?"

"He's a bully! He's always bullying other children, and this time he was being really mean, and it was to Marlene and her friends! He was saying really mean stuff to her, and teasing her and calling her names! He was stealing their stuff! They were crying! Especially Marlene! So I went and soothed Marlene, and told him to stop, but he didn't, and just added me to his list, except what he said didn't upset me, until he made some stupid comments about Geostigma! Then I hit him!" Denzel exploded, spitting the last part. I felt my own face, and saw Vince's darken. Geostigma was a touchy subject with Denzel, which was easy to understand. I still hear him screaming in his sleep sometimes from the nightmares it gave him.

"Geostigma?" I asked quietly, enraged. I was enraged by the fact that he had made Marlene cry as well, but to go so far as to make fun of Geostigma...that kid better hope I didn't get my hands on him!

"And what do you know about Geostigma kid?" I growled, glowering.

"His name is _Thomas_!" Mrs Roberts Screamed.

"And what do _you_ _know_ about Geostigma?" Mr Robert has the _nerve _to bristle back at me.

"I know enough from looking after Denzel when he had it, oh who by the way, was one of the very first victims of it, to know that it's not something to be made fun of!" I exploded. I could not _believe_ the _nerve_ of these people! They sat there, completely _unphased_ by the fact that _their_ son had made fun of a disease that had killed _thousands_, and completely _ruined_ the lives of others!

"What, so our son who _apparently_ made some passing comments gives him the reason to attack out son?" Mr Roberts blustered indignantly, jerking his thumb in Denzel's direction.

"I didn't just hit him for the comment he had no right to make! He had it coming! He has been bullying and terrifying loads of younger kids for ages now!" Denzel shouted.

The principle, who has been sitting watching the whole thing suddenly spoke up.

"It has been brought to my attention by the number of complaints against your son, about bullying the other children, I have also witnessed it myself," she said. Thomas promptly burst into tears.

"I haven't mummy!"He bleated. Mrs Roberts folded her son into a hug. I saw his face as she turned around, and saw it scrunched up into the effort of producing fake tears and sobs. _Oh come on_!

"My baby wouldn't hurt a fly!" Mrs Roberts screeched.

"You must have got it wrong," Mr Roberts blustered, "It was defiantly not my son! You must have mistaken some other boy for my son, perhaps even this one," he motion to Denzel, who stiffened in anger, but I beat him to it.

"Are _you_ telling _me_," I stood up, brushing Vinnie's hand off me which had settled there again a moment ago, "that you are _so utterly stupid_ _and_ _arrogant_ that you're refusing to believe such, plain, _obvious evidence_?" I yelled.

"HOW DARE YOU?" Mr Roberts shouted, very red in the face. He stood up to.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Mrs Roberts shrieked shrilly.

"I THINK I'M ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO SAVED YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASSES THREE TIMES!" I screamed back.

"WELL THEN IT'S OBVIOUS WHERE HE LEARNT HIS VULGAR FIGHTING SKILLS FROM!" The women shrieked back.

"OF COURSE HE KNOWS HOW TO FIGHT! HE'S THE FUTURE GENERATION OF AVALANCHE! AND HE, LIKE WE ALREADY HAVE DONE, WILL PROBABLY SAVE YOUR SELFISH ASS, AND YOUR NASTY, SPITEFUL CRUEL LITTLE SON'S FROM ENDING UP IN THE LIFESTREAM!" I bellowed. Denzel looked rather proud about what I had said, and even the bawling brat had stopped his sobs and look up in incredulity (and a bit of fear) that Denzel was going to be the next hero.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? HE'S CRYING!" the woman shouted. Thomas immediately resumed his wailing.

"HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CROCODILE TEARS? IT'S WHAT SPOILT BRATS DO TO MAKE THEIR IGNORANT MOTHERS BELIEVE _ANYTHING_ THEY SAY!" I yelled back.

\/\/\/

Principle Spencers sat watching the argument from behind her desk. It was sometimes better to observe. She noticed Vincent Valentine watching it calmly as well, but then again, she had read he had been a Turk, so did not reveal emotion, except coolness and calmness.

That was until he caught her eye. Sure, he was a little intimidating with his tall statue, long ebony hair, pale skin, a golden claw for an arm, a gun at his side, shoes that looked like they could impale someone, a long red cloak, and blood coloured eyes, but as she looked at these eyes, they seemed to say '_best to let Yuffie run out of steam'_.

'_Best to let arrogant parents run out as steam as well,' _she replied, with her eyes of course.

/\/\/\

I stared at the man and women. How dare they say that they expect nothing less from a child raised by Avalanche? _HOW DARE THEY?_!

They had just started screaming more unbelievably ungrateful things when Vinnie roared "SILENCE!"

And of course, silence fell.

"Denzel was simply defending the weak," was all he said in a cold, no room for arguments tone. Huh? What? Defending the weak? What the hell?

The Roberts started spluttering their protests, but in a rather scared manor. Who wouldn't be? Vinnie's giving them a Vinnie glare, and that usually scares the crap out of people. Except for me. I'm immune to Vinnie glares.

Running footstep suddenly grabbed my attention.

"Denzel? Denzel!" the door flew open to reveal a panicked looking Tifa and a concerned Cloud. They stepped into the office and the harassed looking receptionist shut the door behind them.

"We came as soon as we got your message that Denzel was in trouble," Cloud stated. He's not_ in_ trouble Cloud. He's got _into_ trouble. Hmm, that doesn't really make sense...

"Denzel? What going on?" Tifa asked. All three of the Roberts' jaws were on the floor from being in the presence of The Avalanche _leader_, and the prettiest, most dangerous, most endowed women in the world.

"HE WAS DEFENDING THE WEAK!" I yelled immediately jumping to Denzel's defence.

OOO

We had been kicked out. Politely, and subtly, but albeit kicked out. The Roberts' had started their obnoxious denial again, and so I had also kicked off at them again. In the end it had been Mrs Roberts fainting fit that had silenced the room. Vinnie had promptly seized the opportunity, grabbed me round the middle, and yanked me to the back of the room, whose brief silence had erupted into commotion once again.

Vinnie stood listening to my mutterings of 'how dare they!' and 'the friggin' cheek!' with a restraining arm wrapped around my waist, presumably to stop me from launching into the clamour again.

A few minutes later, Tifa appeared with Denzel next to her. Cloud was arguing with the unreasonable Mr Roberts, who was supporting his wife, and Principle Spencers was attempting to calm him down. I thought Cloud should just knock him out with the massive sword he had strapped to his back. _That _would calm him down...

"Vincent, Yuffie thanks for coming, but can you take Denzel home please? He's been excluded anyway. Me and Cloud will handle the rest," Tifa said hurriedly said, pushing Denzel towards us. Vincent nodded hastily back, and pulled me, with Denzel following, out of the office.

Unfortunately though, it was the change over between lessons. Kids and teachers lined the corridor, and all simultaneously froze when they saw us, open mouthed, elbowing each other and (the kids of course, not the teachers) pointing.

"_Look_! That's Yuffie Kisaragi! The _ninja_!"

"_Ohmygod_! Vincent Valentine!"

"Look who Denzel's with! I always thought he was joking!"

I smirked. I didn't dare look at Vinnie. His expression would be priceless! We walked through the corridor until something slammed into me.

"Aunt Yuffie!" a small girl cried, hugging me.

"Hey Marlene," I greeted, hugging the red eyed-she'd obviously been crying-girl back.

"Marlene!" a horrified teacher called, running forward, but then stopping, confused.

"It's ok," I told the teacher.

"Aunt Yuffie! Uncle Vincent! It wasn't Denzel's fault! He was just-"

"Hey! Calm down Marlene! Don't worry! We know. Ok? Denzel was looking after you, right?" I told her, stroking her hair.

"Yeah. Thomas was been nasty to me," she sniffed.

"Well, if anyone else is being nasty, you just tell them that Avalanche is your family, and Aunt Yuffie and Uncle Vincent will come sort them out ok? Right Vinnie?" I soothed. Stroking her hair.

"...Yes," Vinnie agreed. Marlene giggled.

"That's what papa said. And Uncle Cid. But he said lots of other bad words as well,"

"Sound like Captain Cancer alright!" I laughed cheerfully. Marlene giggled more, "So we'll see you later Marlene,"

"Ok. Bye Aunt Yuffie. Bye Uncle Vincent. Bye Denzel!" she skipped off back to the teacher, and we carried on down the corridor.

We finally reached the car, and I turned to Denzel.

"Whoo-Hoo! Gimme five Denzel!" I whooped, holding my hand up. Denzel hesitantly gave me five.

"Um...what am I giving you five for Aunt Yuffie?" he asked. I grinned.

"We completely OWNED that kid and his parents!" I laughed. Denzel smiled back, a little uncertain though. He glanced at Vinnie, who was watching me with raised eyebrows.

"Oh come on! They totally deserved it! They were stuck up, obnoxious, arrogant, ungrateful...and that kid was such a brat! I don't care how much Tifa and Cloud lecture you later, I'm defiantly with you on this; if you were my kid, I bake you some cookies. In fact, that's what we'll do when we get back. We'll make some chocolate chip cookies!" I gushed. Denzel's face lit up.

"Really? You'll make the Aunt Yuffie Chocolate chip cookies?" he asked, breathless. Yep. I make the most _awesome_ chocolate chip cookies in the world! Except I don't make them often though because I get really annoyed when they're cooking. They take to _gawd damn long_! I just haven't got the patience...

"Yep! So let's go home! Oh, but Denzel, don't tell Cloud and Tifa I said all that. They'll have my ass. And you probably shouldn't do it again..." I trailed off.

"I won't say anything Aunt Yuffie. I won't do it again either," Denzel, promised, grinning.

"That my boy. Now let's go!" Denzel climbed into the back of the Buggy, and I made my way to the driver's side, But Vinnie was blocking my way.

"You are not driving Yuffie," he told me.

"Yes I am! Why wouldn't I be? Plus I have...the...keys..." I faltered, fishing around in my empty back pocket. Vincent smirked and held them up. I stared at them for a moment.

"You PERVERT! You went in my back pocket!" I shouted at him. He had got them out of my pocket! My BACK pocket! The one on my BUTT! And I hadn't even NOTICED! This...I...it...AHHH!

Vincent chose to ignore my comment.

"You are not driving. We have a child in the car," he remarked instead.

"What you trying to say? Huh? HUH?" I asked, annoyed.

"You are a dangerous driver," he said bluntly, and got into the car. Yep. He officially _dissed_ my driving, and _got into the frikin' car._

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT A NINJA'S DRIVING SKILLS!" I screamed. I had a whole barrage of insults lined up to throw at him, but he started the car.

"HEY! WAIT FOR ME!" I yelled, legging it to the other side of the car, yanking open the door, and throwing myself in. I glared at him. HA! He looked stupid! _Stupid_! STUPID! Well, he didn't. He looked sexy. Like he always does. But he looked MEGA _sexy_ sitting behind the wheel like that.

"Seatbelt," he commanded. I put it on, and resume glaring. Maybe if I glared hard enough, I could burn a hole in his stupid, _sexy_ face...

"I am _soooooo_ not talking to you," I sniff, looking away. It wasn't working, so why give him the honour of been glared at by the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi?

"You're not?" he said. He sounded amused. And kinda pleased...

HOW DARE HE?

"No!" I frowned.

"You're talking to him now aunt Yuffie," Denzel piped up. I frowned even more. At the truth of what just said, and the Stupid-and _sexy_ _damnit_- smirk on Vinnie's face.

"Starting from now!" I exclaimed. Then I tried to create the aura of '_shut the hell up Denzel, because another comment like that and you can forget the chocolate chip cookies!'_

I resisted the temptation of telling Vinnie he was driving ridiculously slowly, and _why the hell did he stop at the roundabout to let the car whizz round before us_? But soon the growing silence (which I felt _so_ inclined to break) was starting to grow too much for me, as was the growing smirk on that stupid, _sexy_ (_why_? Why _can't_ he be _stupid_ and not _sexy_?) face, so I turned on the radio, and hummed along with the tune of _I'd Lie._

_And I could tell you  
His favourite colour's green  
He loves to argue  
Born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful  
He has his father's eyes  
And if you ask me if I love him  
I'd lie-_

I changed the radio Station before Taylor Swift could continue. _Gawd damn_ cheesy love song! I listened to the next verse and chorus of another song before deciding I didn't like it, and changing stations. I did for a fair few more songs.

"Oh for _~&*(£^ Sake_," I muttered changing from '_Always'_ to '_I will always love you_'. I stabbed the button again, changing to another radio station.

"Yuffie, could you please stop doing that?" Vinnie suddenly asked, sounding irritated. Oh _dear_ Vinnie. Was I _annoying_ you? What a _shame_.

"What, you _honestly_ want Whitney Houston and her _earth shattering_ notes on?" I asked.

"..." or in Vinnie language, 'stop messing with the radio!'

I folded my arms, and put my feet on the dashboard. Vince frowned at me, and I frowned when he stopped at the traffic light which had just turned red. _He could so totally have gone through that_!

"Me and Teef so owned this song in the club," I murmured, grinning at the memory.

"..." he was frowning still. Probably thinking of me dancing with that perverted brain of his. Who wouldn't?

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

_And if you ask me if I love him,  
I'd lie_

_Damnit_! I wish that little voice in your head that sings bits of songs in your head would quit singing the same two lines!

* * *

**_Yes, another long chapter. I seem to just keep writing loads now though. If the chapters are too long though, please tell me, and i'll try and stop them from being so._**

**_I found this chapter rather amusing to write. I hope you did to read!_**

**_I know you are all capable of reviewing VERY well now, so please keep reviewing. I am still jumping up and down in my chair from my 15+ reviews of my last chapter!_**

**_I'll try an get another chapter posted before I go back to school (which is in a week or so). when I do get back to school, my updates will probably be slow because I start my GCSEs, annoying things. I obviously prefer to sit at home and write Yuffentine, because lets be honest, it rocks the world!_**


	7. Spider Shocks

**_Hiya people! Here's the next chapter! I'm sorry it took so long. I would have had it up a few days ago, but my computer decided to play up and fan fic wouldn't let me put it on for some reason...anyway, its up now, so no worries._**

**_Again, i've been blown over by the amount of reviews you wonderful people gave me for the last chapter! 13! T_****_hanks so to everyone who wrote on of them! Theyreally make writing worthwhile, as well as my day! When I do write this, i'm constantly thinking 'will the reader like this? will it make them laugh?' _**

**_DISCLAIMER I don't own ff7 or any of their characters. *sigh*_**

**_Okay, the dirty dancing reference. Just for the record, I haven't even seen this movie. I only used it because I needed a movie, and my mum was watching this when I went downstairs for a break from writing, so I just used it..._**

**_and the writing in bold is when Cait Sith is speaking into his megaphone (because Avalanche is in this chapter!)._**

**_There's quite alot of language in this one, and hopefully you'll agree that its totally justified. And there is alot of fluff as well, but Yuffentine fluff is good right?_**

**_hope you enjoy!_**

_Edited 24th July 2010_

* * *

It was the reunion time of the month again. I was sitting next to Barret (the big soft marshmallow) on the couch, who was sitting next to Captain Cancer, who was sitting next to Vinnie. I was at the end of it. Red was lying on a big cushion on the floor. Cait sith was also on the floor. He had a cushion, but he threw it at me, and I kept it rather than throwing it back (he obviously didn't want it!).Tifa and Cloud were sitting together in an arm chair. _Awww_.

And no, we don't always just drink in the bar on reunions (I have now have been given a limit, yes, a _limit_, on how much I can drink, because _apparently_, Cloud thinks it should be illegal for _ninjas_ to _drink_! And everyone seems to agree! The cheek! Of course, he _obviously_ forgot that _ninjas_ are _sneaky_ and _stealthy_, so I can have as much alcohol as I like thank you very much!).

For this particular reunion, Tifa had closed the bar, and we were all watching a film. Dirty dancing. Don't ask. I don't know. I'd lost the plot _ages_ ago. It's just some corny love movie. BORING. Cid and Barret were only watching it because it's had dancing women wearing skimpy outfits, Vinnie was probably just brooding while staring at the screen but not really seeing, I think Cloud was ACTUALLY watching it, and was ACTUALLY enjoying it, because he ACTUALLY likes this kind of thing, Tifa picked this movie in the first place, and Red, although he was watching the screen, he was actually warding Cait sith off with his tail, because Cait sith kept trying to get on his cushion, and effectively push Red off.

I was on watch however. You see, there was a MONSTER on the ceiling, so it was my duty to keep my team mates safe as they've all had their attention _stolen _by the screen.

Dumdedumdedededum-

_Ohfuckohfuckohfuck_ it MOVED! Oh gawds, I'm too young to die! STAY BACK! _BACK_! _BACKBACKBACK_! Leviathan help me! It was getting closer!

"Oi Brat! Ouch!"

"What the ^$)*£ are you doin' you stupid ~$*%&% brat?"

"I'm not a brat you old man!" I fired back, still crawling and clawing my way over Barret and Cid.

"You are a &$~*£) brat, and I ain't ^£$~)"% old damnit! And what the £(*%~$ are you doing?" Cid cussed. Jeesh, what does Shera see in him?

"I um..." I looked up and saw Vinnie's red eyes delving into me and I searched my mind for an answer. They can't know the truth!

"I just wanted to sit next to my good old pal Vinnie!" I say triumphantly, squeezing my butt in the space between Vinnie and Cid.

"What the (^%*(~? HA! I bet ya' just wanna' sit next ta me don't cha?" Cid snorted. I looked at him in disgust.

"Sit next to you? No way old man! I'll probably get lung cancer from just sitting next to you! Breath your smelly, smoky breath on someone else!" HA!

He started to splutter indignantly, but Tifa hissed: "Shhh! I can't hear the film!"

Silence fell, but my attention was still distracted. I shot a glance up at the ceiling. Phew! It had stopped!

I tried to concentrate on the TV, but my gaze kept drifting to the MONSTER on the ceiling.

I didn't notice Vinnie noticing my constant head turning and him following my gaze. The frequent craning of my neck had caused me to turn slightly so my back was against Vinnie's shoulder, and as the MONSTER started to move again, I unconsciously pressed myself against Vinnie, trying to get away from it.

"I never knew you were afraid of spiders," a voice said in my ear. A low voice. A sexy voice. I jumped so high I almost hit the crawling creature in question.

"No I am _not_! Ninjas are afraid of _nothing_!" I frowned at him. I said it very quietly though, so only Vinnie could hear. Despite my words though, my glaze slid back to the ceiling, and I tensed as the spider stopped. Vincent lowered his mouth to my ear again to speak.

"I think you are very much afraid of-" he began.

"**AHHHHHH! Vincent's eating Yuffie's ear!**" Cait Sith yelled, _into his megaphone_.

But the exact same moment the stupid robot yelled this, the spider moved, and I pressed myself against Vinnie even more, but my foot slipped, and I accidently kicked Cid, who accidently elbowed Barret.

"Wha ya doin' foo?" Barret shouted at Cid, but craned his neck to see Vinnie supposedly eating my ear.

"~*&%$* Brat! what you kick me for? And what the &^~£) you doin' to her Valentine?" Cid yelled at me, but trying to see Vince as well.

By now everyone's gaze was on me, and a glaring Vince, who had hurriedly moved his lips away from my ear.

"_SHIT_!" I screamed as the spider started lowering itself on a spindly silk thread, RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD. I launched myself across Vinnie, in a desperate attempt to get away.

"What the ~*/&^ is goin' on?"

"Yuffie what are you...?"

"**SPIDER! SPIDER!**" Cait sith repeatedly _yelled_ this into his _megaphone_.

"AHAHAHA! HA HA! AH HAHAHA!" Cid suddenly started roaring with laughter, being the first one to piece it all together: "Well ^&*%(~ me sideways, the brat is afraid of spiders!"

"NO I AM NOT!" I yelled, blushing profusely.

"AHAHAHA!" Cid continued, and Barret joining in.

"**YUFFIE'S AFRAID OF SPIDERS! YUFFIE'S AFRAID OF SPIDERS**!" Cait Sith chanted gleely, still into his megaphone. I swear to Leviathan, I was going to take that megaphone and shove it up that robot cats-

"Yuffie, you've fought Bahamut! How can you be scared of a tiny little spider that means you no harm and is probably more scared of you?" Tifa smiled, amused and giggling. My blush increased, if that were possible. I would rather take that cat's mega phone and shout '_**VINNIE'S A SEXY BEAST**_!' than be in this situation right now.

Well maybe not.

And I can assure Tifa though, that there is no way that that spider (which is not 'tiny' and 'little' but 'massive' and 'terrifying') can be more afraid of me than I am of it. No frikin' way! And it means no harm? Whatever! It's out to KILL ME!

"I AM NOT SCARED OF SPIDERS GAWD DAMNIT!" I yell-lied. Everyone was laughing (in Vinnie's case smirking) now.

"You're not?" Cid bellowed.

"NO!" I screamed.

"Then you won't mind it I do this then!" Cid roared, _cupping the spider in his hands, and runnings toward me_. I of course-

SCREAMED!

Then ran with Cid chasing me with _the spider_.

"AHHHHHHH!" I shrieked. Barret was doubled over laughing. Cait Sith was laughing into his megaphone.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuck!_

Then Cid suddenly dropped the spider by mistake. _Dropped_ it. DROPPED IT. I froze for a moment, and watched the spider fall to the floor. Then it started scuttling across the floor with its too many legs.

I screamed again, and jumped on the first thing closest to me. Which happened to be Vinnie.

I leapt onto his back and wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck, still screaming. He staggered from surprise into Cid, who toppled to the floor, tripping Barret up who teetered on the brink of falling on Red, who darted away, running into a little table, from which a vase fell off, smashing onto Cait sith.

To add to the chaos, Cloud jumped to his feet, effectively dumping Tifa on the floor, ran over to the heart of commotion (the spider), brought his foot up, and stamped back down.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion, and I even thought (it could have just been my imagination though) I heard the distinct crunch as it crumpled under Cloud's boot. I slowly looked up into Cloud face. He looked pleased that he had put an end to all the havoc the spider had caused. I looked at the crumpled, curled up (you know, how spiders go when they die; their legs curl inwards; grossness!) body of the spider.

"WHAT THE ~*%^ DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Vinnie flinched as I yelled right next to his ear. Cloud's smug expression melted into confusion. The room had gone very quiet. Everyone was watching me.

"WHAT THE $*%& DID IT DO TO YOU? HUH? YOU &%(*$ MURDERER! YOU *^%)%$ KILLED IT! WHY YOU &%*&\ MORON? WHY?" I screamed at a gawping Cloud. He killed it! He _killed_ it! It's DEAD. _GONE_! Never coming back! What about its little spider-family? Its spider-wife? And spider-kids? Oh _gawd_, they're going to grow up _fatherless_ now! WHY WOULD CLOUD DO SUCH A THING?

But...it was my fault! I had caused the whole shenanigan! If I hadn't alerted everyone of its presence, of the possible teasing it could cause...

THE _GUILT_! WAAAA! I WANT A COFFIN!

"But...you...you were scared of it!" Cloud stuttered.

"AND? SURE, I DON'T LIKE THE THINGS, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I JUST KILL THEM! I DEAL WITH IT CLOUD! I DON'T KILL IN COLD BLOOD YOU MORON!" I yelled, sliding off of Vinnie's back. Cloud looked bewildered.

"FOR ~$^&$% SAKE! YOU'RE SCARED TIFA WILL FIND YOU PLAYBOY MAGAZINES BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU JUST KILL HER DOES IT?" I screeched. Cloud immediately blushed and sent me a death glare. Cid guffawed. Barret snorted, grinning. Even Vinnie hid a smirk at the swordsman's revealed guilty pleasure and obvious discomfort. Tifa's eyes narrowed. Cait sith immediately started yelling "**CLOUD LIKES PLAYBOY"** into his megaphone. I was oblivious to all this in my...guilt?

"I MEAN LOOK AT THE POOR ~*$^(% THING!" I actually think I was on the verge of tears.

"It's just a ~#£^&\ spider brat," Cid muttered. Just a ~#£^&\ spider was it? It was a ~#£^&\ dead spider now!

Huffing, I sat back down, averted my eyes, cussed under my breath, and folded my arms, glaring at the floor. Dead...gone...finished...over...departed...

Everyone followed suit, sitting back down. Tifa sat down squarely on the armchair giving Cloud a look that clearly said 'you're on the floor buster'.

The film came back on, and now I had nothing to distract me, I tried to concentrate, and actually focus on what was going on. I didn't notice Cait sith creeping across the floor a little while later towards me...

I glanced down when I felt something peculiar on my foot.

"YAAAAAHHHHH!"

I let out a blood curdling scream, desperately flailing and kicking my leg that was hanging off the couch.

I think it's easy to guess what happened. Yes, that sly, devious, deceitful little cat had picked up the spider's remains, and _put it on my bootless sockless foot._

_A spider carcass._

_A corpse._

Cait sith was_ sooooooo _dead_._

As dead, in fact, as the spider that was flying through the air, and landing in Chocobo head's hair. The Chocobo in question yelped, and leapt up, shaking his head furiously, ridding the spikes of the spider.

Then my team mates realised what had happened. And all started roaring with laughter.

"AHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! &%$*! AHAHAHA!"

"HAHA, GOOD ONE CAT! HAHAHA"

"_Giggle_ Yuffie its dead! And you're still scared of it? _Giggle_,"

"HAHAHA! Yuffie, your...it's...HAHAHAHA"

"**HA** **HA** **HA**!"

"It only a spider anyway Yuffie!"

I even heard Vincent with his rare deep chuckles. I had leapt up, blushing so furiously I could probably power _all_ of Edge. Scratch that. I could probably have powered _all_ of _Gaia_.

"YOU'RE ALL _SOOO_ GOING TO HELL!" I screamed, and stormed out of the room, up the stairs to my room, not bothering to switch the light on so I could see through the pitch blackness. I went over to my wardrobe to get my bottle of vodka I kept hidden, and that I desperately needed. Then threw myself onto my bed.

_Fuck_ them _all_ for laughing. _Fuck_ _Cid_ for chasing me with the damn spider. _Fuck_ _Cloud_ for killing it. _Fuck_ _Cait sith_ for putting it on my gawd damn foot (and who does that anyway?). _Fuck_ _Barret, Red_ and _Tifa_ for laughing. _Fuck_ _Vinnie_ for taking my vodka when I was drunk.

"FUUUCCK!" I yelled in general, especially when I got the feeling of things (_cough_ SPIDERS _cough_) crawling all over me.

I don't know how long I'd been lying in the dark when I heard footsteps.

_Fuck_ whoever that was.

My door creaked open as someone entered my room.

_Fuck_them_fuck_them_fuck_them_fuck_them-

The room fell back into darkness as the door closed, blocking out the landing light.

_Silence_.

Except for my _silent_ cussing.

"...Yuffie?"

OH HEY! IT'S THE FUCKING VODKA ABDUCTOR!

"Are you asleep...?" he asked softly. Oh, and there was me thinking he had some _I-can-tell-if-you're-sleeping-or-fucking-not _sense.

"Yes. Go away," I answered, my words muffled by the pillow I was talking into.

"Hn,"

My bedsprings shifted as he sat down next to me. I repressed a shiver of surprise as he laid his gloved hand and on my lower back.

"Cid's afraid of moths,"

Errr...that's right Vinnie. You just state something random.

"I'm afraid of needles..."

I shifted onto my side so I could see the two crimson orbs that were watching me.

"But that's a justified fear," I countered.

"...How so?" he asked. Jeesh. I'm pretty sure you brood about it...let's see...ALL THE TIME!

"Um, didn't Hojo stick crap loads of them in you, and turn you into angst-on-legs?" I asked/suggested.

"..." he was kind of glaring at me in a manner that said _you weren't supposed to remember that_, but he also smiled a little.

"See. It's justified," I muttered, turning back into my pillow. I can feel his eyes on me. Burning into me. I felt a bit bad; he was trying to comfort me after all, and I was just being crabby back. And this was Vincent. He must have...cared to come up and try and comfort me...how many other people can say he did that for them?

"Why did that damn robot put it on my foot? He's a cat isn't he? Don't cats eat spiders?" I moaned quietly into my pillow.

Oh. My. Gawd. Is that his thumb I can feel stroking my back? Not that I'm complaining or anything. I mean, it's nice when you are _so_ _hopelessly_ in _love_ with someone that you _can't even_ stay _mad_ at them for _laughing_ at _you _when theyshouldn'thave!

"Perhaps you shouldn't have kept his cushion when he threw it at you," I could hear the smirk in his voice. I don't think he realises what he's doing.

_Jeesh_ Yuffie! _Stop_! You're acting like some _teenage fangirl_!

"Whatever. He found an opening and he took it. Probably for that time I meddled with his circuits and programmed him into hitting on us all..." I trailed off. _Whoops_. No one knew that was actually me. Let's just say there were a lot of annoyed, embarrassed Avalanche members that day...

"That was you?" Vinnie asked, a bit indignantly. Hehe, Cait sith kind of started singing a love song to Vince that day...

Damn! He's stopped stroking my back!

"Um...sorry?" I replied hesitantly. He just sighed.

We sat in silence. I sneaked a glance at him. He was still watching me.

"Yuffie?"

"Huh?" I was surprised Vinnie was the first to speak. It's usually me.

"...If you don't mind me asking...why were you so upset about the spider being killed?"

I blushed.

"Well is hadn't done anything!" I protested.

"...and?"

My blush intensified.

"And...well...um...well what if it had a little spider family?" I said defensively. My blush deepened even more.

He just stared at me. Just...STARED.

"Uh, Vince?" I asked, _very _embarrassed.

Then he started _laughing_. Not like the chuckle from earlier, but a proper, low, rumbling _laugh_.

HE WAS _LAUGHING_ AT ME. _VINCENT VALENTINE_.

I was in _shock_!

But still VERY embarrassed. I mean Vincent was _laughing_. He never ever _ever_ laughs. _Ever_.

I buried my head in the pillow. Must melt now...must melt now...

But Vinnie pulled me into a sitting position, forcing me to face him. I tried to avert my eyes from his shaking form, but one of his hands tilted my chin up, forcing me to make eye contact.

"You were upset about its 'spider family'?" he asked, his laughter abating.

"Well...yeah," I mumbled. His laughter resumed again. I really didn't know I could blush so much. He was...he was _just_...LAUGHING! Staring at me and _laughing_. I scrambled into his lap and hid my flaming face in his chest.

"Stop laughing at me!" I ordered in a mumble. This seemed to only increase it. He put his arms around me and continued to shake with laughter.

I knew that the last thing I wanted was for him to stop laughing. Vincent never laughed...never like this anyway. And it made something in my chest glow to know that it was _me _who was causing it.

In spite of it all, I felt myself smile.

_Eventually_, he calmed down.

"Quite finished?" I asked, pulling my head away from his chest. He chuckled a couple more times before he stopped completely.

"I apologise," he smirked.

"No you don't! You're not sorry in the slightest!" I accused.. I could see in his eyes that he wasn't. Far from it. "This is why I hate spiders!"

The smirk grew. I scowled, and put my hand over his mouth.

"Don't even think about it buster!" I growled. The smirk was still there and growing though. I could feel it against my hand. My scowl deepened.

"Bastard," I muttered, trying to push myself out of his lap. But Vinnie had other ideas. His arms tightened, and I found my head on his chest again, and his mouth at my ear. _Again_. This all would _never_ had happened if he hadn't of done this earlier because then Cait sith wouldn't have shouted that he was chewing my ear off and then everyone wouldn't have focused on us and I wouldn't have made such a desperate escape and then everyone wouldn't have seen the spider and realised that I was-

"I apologise Yuffie. It was never my intent to make you embarrassed," he whispered.

"Embarrassed my ass," I muttered. He was such a liar!

"I'm sure if we'd have known your concern for the welfare of the spider's family then we may never have-" he didn't finish. He too busy laughing again. I scowled into his chest.

Looks like I'm gonna' be here a long time.

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

Huh? Cid's afraid of _moths_? I _never knew_ that!

"Vinnie?" I prod him in the chest so he will kindly quieten his vocal amusement, "can you help me find a moth?"

* * *

**_This is not based on my unexplainable fear of spiders. Because i'm not afraid of them. Why would I be afraid of them? I mean the way this scuttle is totally normal. And eight legs? Fine by me. Imagining them crawling oh me is completely fin-SHIVERS SCREAMING RUNNING._**

**_Okay. I am terrified of them. but I hate killing them. I feel really bad. I mean, they have a right to live as well; What right do I have in killing them? So yeah, you could say that this chapter is based of MY fear of spiders. I was watching friends, so I pulled the curtains shut because there was to much light, and there was a massive great spider on them. *shivers* so I thought, wouldn't it be fun to write a chapter where Yuffie was scared of them? So this is how this shamelessly fluffy chapter was born._**

**_I got the moth thing from my sister (not that i'm comparing her to Cid or anything!). She hates them. I can't understand why. But then again, she can't understand why i'm scared of spiders._**

**_Please review! I know you are defiantly capable of giving me 5 reviews! So give me those five and i'll get to work planning the next chapter. Give me more than five and i'll start writing the next chapter fast and furiously, and update alot faster! You make me guilty remember? Plus i love writing this..._**

**_Thanks for reading!_**


	8. Towel Troubles

**_I am so sorry I haven't updated in...two months! *hangs head in shame* I've had alot of work...school...D of E...went to London MCM expo (which was awesome! I bought a load of ff7 stuff! and i got a picture with a Cloud, and a Nanaki and a Tifa! There were some awesome cosplays! I was only looking for ff7 ones really) so yeah. Plus I had loads of trouble writing this chapter! It was sitting on my computer for ages half done, and in the past week I wrote bits in. Damn writers block. _**

**_Again, I have been blown over by the amount of reviews i've had! I love you all! You're all so awesome! Thank you so much! And thank you for any favoriting/alerting! You're so great!_**

**_DISCLAIMER FF7 and all its characters belong to Square Enix._**

**_You've waited long enough for this chapter, so I'm not going to write anymore of my babbling. Hope you like this lonnnng chapter!_**

_Edited 25th July 2010_

* * *

I wandered from the shower to my bedroom with a towel wrapped securely around me. I went into my room and sat down at my dressing table, and grabbed a brush to brush my hair.

"Damnit!" I muttered as the towel sipped down to my waist. Oh well, I'd be putting my clothes on soon. Humming to myself, I continued to brush my hair. It was getting quite long now. Just past my shoulders anyway. Maybe I would cut it...Then again, maybe not, because it's only got to be a matter of time before Cloud grows some...male parts...and pops Tifa the question and I'm sure she'd want my hair to be long for the wed-

My door suddenly burst open. I shrieked and yanked my towel up to cover my..._exposed _chest.

"AHHHH!" I screamed, and threw the first thing in hand. Which was the brush. It hit the person on the head, but actually did nothing to the gawping person.

"RENO! WHAT THE ^%~$ ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? THIS IS A LADIES ROOM YOU ^&%$*+ PERVERT! YOU KNOCK! _KNOCK_!" I screamed blushing madly. He had seen my-

"Boobies!" he grinned stupidly, a dazed and dreamy expression on his face.

"GET OUT! _OUTOUTOUTOUTOUT_!" I screamed, pushing, hitting, kicking, punching, pinching and any other word to describe physical harm. I slammed the door once he was out of my room, breathing heavily, and leaned my back against the door. Oh _GAWD_ _ohgawdohgawd_! He had seen...he had..._FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK_!

I hurriedly pulled my clothes on, not wanting to take any more chances on someone seeing any part of me that they shouldn't.

And what the hell was he doing up here anyway? Why the hell had Tifa let him up here? How the hell was I going to show my face? What was I going to do?

_Kill_ him.

That's what I was going to do.

&%(~ _KILL_ HIM!

I banged open my door and starting stomping down the stairs.

I was going to cut off all of his limbs one by one...

STOMP STOMP STOMP.

Or maybe peel his skin off then drop him into some lemon juice or something?

STOMP BANG STOMP STOMP.

Or maybe grab him by his...male parts and spin him round my head?

"Yuffie...? What's stolen your materia? What's happened?" ironic that. How Tifa can only ask me the phrase '_What's stolen your materia?'_ when I'm pissed, because if she asks anyone else that, she'll get the answer 'Yuffie' nyuk nyuk nyuk. Getting off subject here...

"Reno. _Reno_ _happened_ Tifa. Now where the ~&%(* is that red headed moron? Because I am going to KILL him. I WANT HIS _HEAD_ IN A _JAR_ ON MY _MANTLE_ PIECE! I WANT HIS STUPID RED PONYTAIL HUNG ON MY WALL LIKE PEOPLE DO WITH FOXES TAILS! I WANT HIS BODY PARTS SPREAD AROUND MY ROOM! I WANT HIS ^%*~$^ _BLOOD_!" I kind of screamed. Scratch than. I did scream it. People in the bar are looking at me in a very disturbed kind of manor.

"..." She just stared at me in a scared questioning manor. Is she doing a Vinnie impression? Because that's not going to help! That stupid, sexy bastard has buggered off! Which is probably why I'm in such a bad mood as it is without a bloody peeking tom!

"SHOWER TIFA? I WAS IN THE SHOWER AND YOU LET _RENO_ UP?" I shouted. She did an amazing impression of a gold fish.

"Oh _shit_ Yuffie! Oh god! I forgot! I'm so _so_ sorry-"

"Sorry? SORRY? THATS ALL YOU CAN SAY?" for gawds sake women! I have lost, like, my dignity here!

"Oh gods Yuffie, what happened?" she looked guilty. AS SHE SHOULD!

"I had just come out of the shower and went into my room, and my towel slipped down to my waist, then Reno walked in and saw!" I ranted. And I blushed. This was _embarrassing_. This was _outrageous_. This was _hell_.

"Oh _phew_ Yuffie! I thought he had walked in on you completely starkers!" Tifa giggled. Yes. _Giggled_.

"Excuse me? Phew? Tifa, do you understand what I just said?" she didn't look so guilty now. AS SHE SHOULD DO.

"Yuffie you had me really scared then-"

"TIFA!"

"Yes Yuffie?"

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I JUST SAID?"

"Yes, I do understand-"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS? I'M GOING TO KILL HIM WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM! HE DIDN'T EVEN GAWD DAMN KNOCK! THAT SPIKEY RED HEADED BASTARD HAS SOOO JUST SIGNED HIS DEATH WARRENT! I'M GOING TO CAUSE HIS SO MUCH PAIN HE'LL-" she had the nerve to interrupt me.

"Yuffie! Calm down! It was obviously just an accident on his part. Stop being so dramatic!" she had even more nerve to say _that_!

"Tifa, do you know that terrible, traitorous words are coming out of your mouth? I bet if he had burst in on you while very, _very_ bare chested, you would not be saying stuff like this! I'm pretty sure you would be saying and making similar threats as me!"

"Well I don't know and anyway Cloud would probably kill-"

"Exactly! I haven't got anyone like that, so I'll have to do it myself!" I could not believe her! If she was in my position, she would be _hunting_ Reno down, and _kicking_ his _ass_!

"Yuffie, have you never considered the possibility that Reno wants to be that guy who kills other guys when they so much as look at you?" I just stared at her when she said this. Was she being possessed by some evil, deranged, psychotic spirit?

"Um, _no_," I was starting to doubt that she _understood our language_.

"Well maybe you should. He's pretty hot. I told him you were upstairs and he said he had a message from Reeve for you,"

I was starting to lose _faith in the human race_. Where was the sympathy? Where was the help in planning Reno's downfall? Where was her support?

And what the hell? Me and Reno? EWWW! No way! Plus, I already like...someone!

Ahem.

"No Tifa! Just no!" I said, blushing at my thought-confession. Tifa noticed, and misunderstood.

"Then why are you blush-"

"Look Teef, I already like someone ok? So moving on-" I was blushing a lot now. Jeesh, I been blushing a lot recently!

"Oh yes! I forgot your crush on Vincent-"

!

"Teefaaaah!" I hissed. Holy mother women! Let's just tell the whole world! And _crush_? I'm pretty sure it was more than a _crush_!

"What? It is Vincent isn't it? You two would be so sweet together! I mean, he really doesn't like Reno. Have you seen him glaring at Reno when Reno's trying to make a move on you or something? Well, he kind of glares at everyone, and scares them shitless, well except for you. Ohhh, isn't that a coincidence? I mean that you like him? Oh crap! I see your dilemma about Reno now! If Vincent finds out that he walked in on you naked waist upwards he'll probably shoot-"

"Tifa! This has nothing to do with Vincent!" I hissed again. I think there were _radiation waves _coming from my cheeks.

Hang on. Is that really true? Does Vince really glare at Reno when he's trying to make a move on me? Could he possibly be jealous? I never considered it before because that is just absurd. Everyone knows that he's still hung up on his precious Lucrecia, whose death he blames himself for which is a bunch of crap because I think she was a big enough girl to make her own decisions...even if that was picking a creepy scientist who wanted to experiment on her rather than a really, _really_ REALLY sexy Turk who really just wanted to keep her safe...to be quite honest, there must have been something lose in her head; I mean, why would you want to first of all, want to carry _HOJO'S_ child, and second of all, give birth to a human who wanted to bring the _apocalypse_ around? Not that I have anything against people who are not quite with it (people are always telling me this). In fact I'd be proud of it! But I don't quite think bringing about eternal angst to someone, and putting a crazy, demon into someone's mind, is _quite_ something to be proud of...

No, I'm being harsh. Vinnie is lots better thanks to my wonderful guidance! Its only when he goes off with Shelke-with-LuLu-in-her-head that he gets really angsty...

Whoa! That was one long internal monologue...

...And very off point...

...Getting back on point...

"Tifa, this is about the fact that Reno is _going to hold this over my head for the rest of my life_!"

"Hm, that's very true," she says. Thanks for the amazing advice Teef!

"So...what do I do?" I cried desperately.

"Don't worry Yuffs!" she says soothingly, putting a hand on my arm, "Hmm, well...the only way will be to show that it doesn't bother you,"

"Doesn't...bother...me," I said slowly, processing the words.

"Yes. If you act as if you're not bothered, then he won't hold it over your head. Following me?"

"Yeah..." I could do it. It made sense. If I wasn't bothered, then he couldn't blackmail with it, because I wouldn't care. I _could _restrain myself. I _could _not kill him...

OOO

I bent down and put a dried glass into its place.

"Hey princess," that voice sounded decidedly smug. I put the glass into its place and straightened up.

Be calm. _Calm_. You're _not _bothered. Don't give him _any _reason to think that he has any degree of power over you!

Jeesh, I really need to stop talking to myself like that...

"What can I get you Reno?" I asked, in a level, albeit strained voice. His grin flickered slightly, before he winked.

"Why don't you tell me darlin'?"

"I meant what drink do you want Reno, not where you can find the nearest whore service," I told him, annoyance cracking my voice. Jeebus, he had barely been here a few minutes, and I already wanted to strangle him!

Calming thoughts! Materia! Teasing Cid! Materia! Treasure! Materia! Missions! Missions with Vinnie! Vinnie...

No! _Nonononono_! Now is not the time!

"Thinking about earlier princess?" the smugness was back. Damn it! I must have been blushing...

DAMN VINCENT! He wasn't even there for Leviathan sake! What was up with me?

I missed him.

That's what was up.

DAMN REEVE AND HIS MISSIONS!

"No I'm not, but on the subject," I paused, and Reno's grin widened; no doubt waiting for an explosion from me so he could use it as blackmail material, "What did Reeve want?"

"What?" the grin faded into a frown of confusion. There was probably _no_ message from Reeve...just a damn excuse to HARASS ME!

Calm thoughts! _Calm thoughts!_

_NO!_ Not Vinnie smiling!

When did I become so...so..._mushy _and _love struck_?

"You had a message from Reeve when you came upstairs?" I prompted.

"Oh yeah...but you're not angry about me seeing your boobs princess?" his voice was joking but his face was resembling something similar to faint panic. Ruined his plans no doubt.

"Well, no," YES! YES! YES! "It was an easy mistake really. Anyone could have burst in," Lie. People _knock_ unlike him, "It was my fault really," IT BLOODY WELL WAS NOT!

He looked at me in disbelief. I did as well. Well, I couldn't _look_ at _myself_, but I couldn't believe what I had just said.

"Beer please," He muttered. I turned around, and poured him one. It was working! Stupid jerk Turk.

I handed him his beer. Oh no. That _gleam_ was back in his eye. That couldn't be good-

"You know, on the subject, some people would call it fate," he stated.

"Huh?" I hoped this wasn't going where I thought it was...

"Well, it's not as if we're strangers. Even less now," he continued, smirking at the last comment.

"What are you getting at Reno?" I asked, starting to get impatient with him. Calm, calm, calm-

"How about you, me, go out tonight..." he trailed off suggestively.

"NO!" I restrained myself from screaming this. Barely.

"Why not? Think about it...can't you see it's meant to be?" he murmured in a low voice. The glass in my hand shattered.

Calm thoughts...calm thoughts...calm thoughts...my self mantra repearted as a bent down to pick up the sharp pieces of glass that I wanted so badly to plunge into Reno.

OOO

For the next few days Reno kept following me round. As in he was always in the frikin bar when I was, bleating that it was meant to be, and insisting that it was fate. He was talking to my breasts half the time as well. Scratch that. He _was_ talking to my breasts _all_ of the time. I have never wanted to kill someone so much in my life. _Ever_. Until now. I mean how could it be fate? He had been a total ass, and barged into my room! You ALWAYS knock on a lady's room! _Always_! But no, he had been a total ungentle man, not knocked, and just barged in! And he thought that was fate? I thought it was his fate to have my shruiken shoved up his ass!

"Hey Marly. How are you feeling?" Marlene was ill, bless her, with the flu.

"Tired aunt Yuffie," she said, sniffling. I sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Here. Once you've taken your medicine, you can go to sleep," I said sympathetically to the poor girl. Being ill sucks. She reluctantly sat up, and swallowed the medicine I gave her.

"Good girl," I said softly, smoothing the blankets, and kissing the top of her head. I'm going soft. Really soft.

"Aunt Yuffie? Could I watch one of your films?" she asked.

"Course," I went and got one of my films. I have _loads_. Tifa's the one with all the boobs, I'm the one with all the films.

I went back into Marlene's room, and put 'Ella Enchanted' on for her. Lucky devil. She's got her own TV/DVD player. It's not huge, and its pink, but she's got one! That's more than I could say for myself!

"Thanks Aunt Yuffie," she smileed.

"S'fine Marly. You get some rest," I'd probably end up getting her flu. _All_ the bad things happened to me.

They really did: the _baddest_ of _bad_ things in the whole entire history of the _baddest_ of _bad_ things was standing in the bar right now. Seriously; _Sephiroth_ was not half as bad as _this_. I mean Sephiroth didn't tell me it was my destiny to be with him because he saw me half naked. He told me it was my destiny to die, which would be a _welcome_ right now.

You know what? If Sephiroth came back _right_ _now_, walked through the bar door, and impaled Reno with his sword that wastwice my height, I would scream 'SEPHY YOU ARE MY SAVIOR!' and hug him. And he would hug me back. Because _everyone_ hugs the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi back.

And if someone would rather _hug_ _Sephiroth_ than face something, you know it's bad. It's _very_ bad.

"Bar duty again tonight princess? Shame. I was going to take you out. No way you can get out of it? I'm sure Tifa wouldn't mind," What the frick was with this guy? Why me? WHY?

"Reno, I will go out with you the day hell freezes over," I snapped at him. I was losing my rag. I was losing my sanity!

"Aw, don't be like that darlin'! You still don't see? It's meant to be," he claimed. _Yet again_.

FOR THE FRIGGING LOVE OF LEVIATHAN!

So I did what I had to do. What anyone else would do. Unless I acted soon, I _was_ going to end up burning something _down_.

OOO

Tifa wasn't pleased with me. I didn't see why not. She said I didn't have to do it, and no one else would have. Which is _such_ a lie. If she had been in my position, she _so _would have done the same! And it's not as if it's a big deal! I could have done a lot of _worse_ things to him! I mean seriously! All I did was put a little _something_ in his drink. So sue me. It may have made him a little woozy...or sent him _completely_ out of it. Fine. He couldn't tell the difference between _Bahamut_ and a _bagel_ but so what? I didn't knock him out! He was still _conscious_...barely. Anyway Tifa had _completely_ blown it out of proportion! I mean when Tseng came to pick Reno up, and Tifa was apologising like no tomorrow, and saying she couldn't think why in Gaia that I'd done it, he had _winked_ at me! Tseng _winked_ at me! He didn't seem particularly bothered. He seemed positively _overjoyed_! And I got a text from Elena saying: _Go girl! Thanks so much for a rare quiet night we are all now enjoying!_

But no! Tifa was fuming, saying how she didn't want the reputation of the bar that spiked people's drinks and such! I mean _jeez_, take a chill pill woman!

Hang on...momentary pause in my rant; I'm going to sneeze...

...

...

...

_A-TIEU_!

Great. I bet I'd got the early symptoms of that cold Marlene's has. Perfect. Just _Perfect_.

OOO

Yep. I was right. I've now officially had the flu. Not that Tifa was particularly sympathetic. She probably thought is was a good punishment. But I _hate_ being ill! You can't do _anything_! I just had to sit wrapped in a blanket and drink lots, so I kept having to get up to pee. Yep. Wasnn't that a nice thought huh?

I just had to sit and wait for it to pass through my system.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick-

SMASH.

Stupid ticking clock looked _so_ much _better_ littered in pieces on the floor. With a throwing star embedded in the place it had been. AND THAT WHAT YOU GET FOR _TICKING_ IN THAT _INFAMOUS_ MANNER AND _PISSING OFF _AN _ILL NINJA_!

Sniff.

Snivel.

Sniffle.

Stupid cold. I hadn't got any tissues left either.

Sniff.

Snivel.

Sniffle.

I missed _him_.

Not Reno, _morons_.

I missed _Vincent_.

OOO

I was _still_ ill. It's only been a few hours since I woke up. It was about six o'clock in the evening.

_Gawd_!

I felt so sorry for myself! Just sitting on the sofa curled up in a blanket!

"Hey aunt Yuffie. How you feeling?" HA! Isn't this a vice versa! Marlene was better now. Looked like she was going to come and look after _me_.

"Not very good Marly," I sniffled. She smiled sympathetically. She _knew _how I felt. _Exactly_ how I felt.

"Here you go," she said, handing me a glass of water and a couple of pain killers. They should help with killer headache I'd got.

"Thanks Marlene," I said, taking them.

"Anything else I can get you Aunt Yuffie?"

"Afraid not Marly. Not unless you're wonder woman and have some flu cure. Thanks anyway though," I smiled. She was so nice! Not like everyone else! Tifa was still pissed with me, Denzel probably didn't want to come near me and get the illness from me, and Cloud wasn't even aware that I was ill. He wasn't aware of _anything_. I'm sure Tifa would tell his _answer phone_ everything tonight.

"Your pining Aunt Yuffie," Marlene suddenly stated.

"What?" I asked, stunned.

"You're pining. You miss Uncle Vincent," she repeated. How the hell had she been able to tell that I was deliberately _not _thinking about _him_?

"I am not _pining_ for Vincent Marlene," I frowned.

"Yes you are. You miss him. I can tell. You're feeling sorry for yourself," she said, smiling.

"Yes Marlene, because I'm _ill_," Jeesh! How did Marlene pick up on these things?

"Yes, but your moping around. It's because he's not here,"

"He's not here because he's off having the time of his bloody life with Shelke! I daresay that they're having lots of fun together," Oh. My. _Gawd_! When had I become to be so _bitter_?

"No. He only ever really has 'fun' with you; the only times I've seen him smile or laugh properly is when you made him," she countered thoughtfully. She was ten. _Ten_. Why was I taking what was starting to sound suspiciously like _advice_ from a _ten_ year old?

Marlene is old for her age though. She'd been through lots. She was always there, waiting for Barret to come back home to her through the meteor ordeal. And she was strong all through geo-stigma. And she waited patiently for everyone to come back throught the Deepground incident when Edge had been evacuated and we were all off fighting.

Still. It was weird coming from a ten year old. Even ifit was true the time he did really smile when I was all embarrassed about the whole 'sexier than Cloud thing', and the time he properly laughed was over my guilt for the spider family...

"He sees you and Shelke differently Aunt Yuffie. When he looks at you...it's a different look to when he looks at Shelke,"

Leviathan! Where did she get this from?

"Can we watch a film aunt Yuffie?" she asked, suddenly changing the subject. Best thing probably. Otherwise I would have had to think about what she had said and it would have only confused me. Then I'd start asking her for advice. And she's _ten_.

"Sure we can Marly. Go pick one,"

OOO

"Yuffie, I want you to apologise to Reno," Great. Tifa's still hadn't let it go. And I was still ill.

"Tifa! He had it coming-"

"I don't care Yuffie. You do _not _spike people's drinks! You hear me? You don't!" who did she think she was? My father? "In fact, he's in the bar now. Go apologise,"

She was off of her head. I was _ill_. It was eight _pm_. Ill people do _not_ get up at that time. They go to _sleep_ and hope that they'll be better in the morning.

"Tifa! I'm _ill_!" I moaned. I really didfeel awful. And I didn't want to spread this on to other people! It really wasn't nice!

Hang on...

"I don't care Yuffie. You're going to apologise. _Now_," and with that, she stomped off. Reno was _soooo_ going to pay for causing me all of this grief!

I un-wrapped the blanket from around me, and pulled on a thick woolly jumper, forming a plan in my mind. I shuffled into the bar, and immediately spotted Reno. He was chatting up some blonde with big boobs and long legs. Pfft. Obviously not _that_ into me. I marched up to him, and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, and I plastered a fake smile onto my face.

"Hey Reno,"

"Hey darlin',"

"I just wanted to apologise for spiking you drink yesterday. It was really wrong, and I've felt bad about it all day," I said in an overly friendly voice. How many times have I lied like this to him recently?

"That's ok princess. Let me take you out tomorrow night and we'll be square," he grinned, winking. He really just wouldn't give up would he? I forced the smile to stay on my face.

"Yeah maybe. I'm really sorry Reno about yesterday though Reno," and with that I pulled his head down and kissed him. He was shocked at first, but it didn't take him long to respond and kiss me back enthusiastically. He was actually quite a good kisser...BE GONE TRAITOROUS THOUGHTS!

Time to initiate the last part of my plan. Take this you jerk Turk! I slid my tongue into his mouth and imagined I was kissing someone else.

The same someone else who had just walked in through the bar door with Shelke at his side.

_Damn_.

I pulled back hastily. That should have been long enough to give him my flu.

Reno was grinning like an idiot.

"Maybe not tomorrow though because I've got the flu at the moment," I said casually to him. SCORE! The look on his face was SO worth kissing him like I had. Grinning, I walked back out of the bar and up to my room to brush my teeth and go to bed. Hopefully, Vinnie hadn't seen and got the wrong idea. The last thing you want is for the person you _actually_ like it to think that you like someone _else_...

\/\/\/

How wrong she was. It had been the first thing Vincent had seen as he walked in. Her pulling Reno down, kissing him, then saying something and scampering upstairs looking very pleased with herself.

Walking straight past Reno, who was acting very strange and doing what looked like gargling his drink in his mouth and spitting it out as if trying to get rid of a taste. Odd.

Vincent went to the bar and ordered the strongest thing Tifa had. Tifa got the drink looking rather exasperated.

"What is the matter Tifa Lockhart?" Shelke asked from beside him, as he drank the alcohol, welcoming the burning sensation it caused, and motioned for Tifa to give him another shot.

"That girl! All I asked was for her to apologise for spiking Reno's drink, and then she has to go kiss him! She did it on purpose to give him the flu she's got! I know that because she told me full well that she wanted nothing to do with him, so she obviously didn't kiss him because she wanted to! She's been turning him down all week!" Tifa ranted.

Although Vincent didn't fully understand what Tifa was talking about, it explained why Reno looked like he was trying to clean his mouth out. Vincent felt considerably better. Though, that could have just been the alcohol.

/\/\/\

When I woke up the next day, I felt as right as rain. I don't get that saying actually. How was rain right? I mean, I liked rain, but it isn't always nice; not when we're on missions because we get all wet...

ANYWAY I felt back to normal, and had a shower. As you do after being ill. You wash off all the grossness. It's kind of a metaphorical thing as well isn't it?

Jeez, what was with me? I needed to stop commenting on these things...so yeah, I had a shower, and then went into my room with a towel wrapped around me. Sense of Déjà vu or what huh? Yeah, that's what I thought, so I kept the towel wrapped VERY securely around myself, just in case Reno had a repeat which I _doubted _would happen after the thorough rejectiong last night.

I sat down, almost hesitantly, at my dressing table, and stared suspiciously at the brush, before picking it up. The _moment _I picked it up my door opened. For _Leviathan's sake _was it a fricking taboo or something?

The very last person I would expect to enter a lady's room without knocking stood there. And I went _crazy_. Who wouldn't? I mean this is the SECOND time in a ROW!

"OF FOR ~($£&^ SAKE! WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE BURSTING IN ON ME WHEN I'M ONLY IN A £(*^~ _TOWEL_?" I screamed. Vinnie just stood there doing the Vincent Valentine equivalent of gawping.

Thank Leviathan my towel was firmly _up_. I might have actually _died_ if it hadn't and Vinnie had burst in...

"I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT _YOU_ WOULD HAVE HAD THE _DECENCY_ TO $(^% WELL _KNOCK_!"

"I apologise I-"

"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS TOWEL IS STAYING FIRMLY _UP_! SO YOU'LL HAVE TO GET THE ~^)%: DETAILS FROM RENO!" I screech again. He was just _standing_ there! Gawd it was _so_ embarrassing! He was the love of my _fricking_ life! And I'm _sitting_ here in a _towel_ while he just _stares_!

"Yuffie I-"

"WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? NOTHING TO SEE HERE! WHY NOT GO ASK RENO? GO ON! I'M SURE HE IS IN THE BAR WAITING TO (*$^ BLACKMAIL ME!" He finally took the hint and backed out, closing the door. I sat, breathing hard, realising what had just happened.

For the _second_ time.

In a _row_.

They were in so much _fucking_ trouble.

I was extremely _pissed_.

OOO

By the time I walked into the bar (a mere five minutes later), there were waves of anger emanating from me. So strong that Vinnie stiffened, and Reno looked up kind of apprehensively.

"YOU ~^($ TWO!" I screamed, marching up to them so the counter was the only thing in-between me and them.

"What have we done?" Reno asked defensively.

"..." Vinnie merely looked at me in trepidation. He knew what this was about. What he didn't know that Reno had done the same previously, and seen..._much more_.

"WHAT HAVE YOU _DONE_? WHAT HAVE YOU %£)^* _DONE_? WHAT HAVE YOU :*%*(% _NOT_ _DONE?_!" I was really screaming now. The few people in the bar were watching in rapture. Vinnie seemed to have noticed.

"Yuffie you're making a scene. Can you not do this somewhere-" he had the freaking nerve to say. I, _of course_, interrupted him.

"I DON'T $*(^& _CARE_ IF I'M MAKING A ^$* SCENE! ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THE %£$*~ FACT THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOCK ON A %*(%: _LADY'S_ :*%$£ BEDROOM DOOR BEFORE ENTERING! I THOUGHT AT LEAST _YOU_ WOULD HAVE!" I pointed at Vinnie.

"And what's that supposed to mean? What about _me_?" Reno asked indignantly.

"IT MEANS I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO KNOCK!" I informed him.

"And what do you mean by that-" Reno started.

"She means she would expect nothing less from someone as uncouth as you," Vinnie told him coolly. Wow he sounded pissed. Not as pissed as _me_ though.

"Now see here vampy-"

"NO, YOU _BOTH_ SEE _HERE_!" I interrupted. I will be the only one 'seeing here' thank you very much! "I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE ~^& %) WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU SAW FIT TO BOUNCE INTO MY ROOM AS YOU DID WITHOUT %^(: KNOCKING! IT BETTER BE GOOD!"

They both said at the same time:

"...Reeve had a message-"

"Reeve wanted me to give you a message-"

They both stopped, glaring at each other while both of their faced clearly said '_oh fuck'_.

Oh fuck indeed.

"OH _REALLY_? _BOTH_ OF YOU? WELL ISN'T THAT A _COINCIDENCE_?" I glared at them. They both seemed to be franticly searching for an explanation. But Vinnie must have thought _fuck it_ and said in a rather desperate (well, as much as Vincent Valentine could) tone:

"Yuffie you're making far too big a deal of this," the whole bar seemed too simultaneously in take their breath in a 'wrong thing to say mate'. He realised this and tried to justify himself, "You were covered...in the ...necessary places...I didn't see...anything I shouldn't have,"

He had _fucking_ nerve.

Then I heard a snigger.

"You didn't?"

Reno had fucking _balls_.

Vinnie's eyes narrowed faster than a lightning strike.

I was already onto it. There was a whoosh as a throwing star flew through the air and embedded itself and a lock of Reno's red hair in the wall.

"Hey watch it you crazy bitch!" Reno yelled his hands on his hair and his eyes on the throwing star that had narrowly missed his head.

"EXCUSE ME? '_CRAZY BITCH'_? I THINK YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE A PEEKING ~*%^ TOM!" The windows and glasses almost _smashed_ from the pitch of my voice.

"YOU ACTED LIKE YOU DIDN'T CARE! YOU SAID THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE DONE IT! THAT IT WAS _YOUR_ FAULT!" Reno yelled. I leapt over the bar counter so we were nose to nose.

"COURSE I DID! OTHERWISE YOU WOULD HAVE HELD IT OVER MY HEAD AND BLACK MAILED ME LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN WITH ALL YOU DESTINY CRAP! THAT'S WHY I SPIKED YOU DRINK! THAT'S WHY I KISSED YOU WITH A COLD! SO YOU'D SHUT THE :^%* UP! BECAUSE THAT IS NOT HOW YOU GET A GIRL TO SLEEP WITH YOU! I AM A NINJA _PRINCESS_! NOT SOME _SLUT_!

"TRY AND BLACKMAIL ME AGAIN AND YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF SHORT OF A FEW _VITAL_ MALE PARTS!" I stood panting slightly while the people in the bar erupted into cheers. I glanced at Vinnie. He was smirking at Reno. Stupid bastard. Thinks that that's it does he? That he's going to get off as well?

"AND YOU!" he turned, and the smirk slipped, "YOU...YOU'RE A TOTAL _UN-GENTLEMAN_!" Huh. Not as dramatic as the rant I'd given Reno...but Vinnie prides himself as a gentleman right? That should do it. He looks abashed...that's enough for me.

As I turned to storm upstairs, I saw a women pulling the lock of Reno's hair out from the wall and slipping it into her pocket. _Creepy_.

I stormed upstairs, while in the bar, as soon as I was out of sight, I heard a distinctive:

"...Out,"

"Excuse me vampy?"

"_Out_,"

"Who are you to-HEY! Let go of me!" and the opening of a door as Reno was shoved outside.

...

_Fuck_! Why was it so hard to stay mad at that sexy vampire?

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

Huh...my PHS started ringing.

"_Hello _Great ninja Yuffie here!"

"Hello Yuffie. Its Reeve,"

"Oh hey Reeve. What's up?" What was he calling for?

"I gave Vincent a message for you to call me, but he must of forgotten..."

_Oopps._

**_Like it? I hope so. It was really difficult to write; if I had this much trouble writing something where Yuffie _rejects R_eno, what would I be like writing reffie? *shivers* I am a Yuffentine fan through and through, and that is the only pairing I can see actually working for those characters. It rocks the world._**

**_The next chapter should be up soon. I apologise again for making you wait so long. Feel free to send me angry messages for not updating, as it will most likely motivate me. I will write and post as soon as I can, but school is alot of work._**

**_Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to review! xxx_**


	9. Frantic Fan Girls

**_Hello! I bet you people weren't expecting an update so soon after the long wait of my last update! But here it is. Another crazy situation. I loved writing this chapter! I don't know how I came up with it...its crazy anyway! There was supposed to be another bit on the end of this, but it is already really long, so i'll save it for another time. I was thinking about doing a part two, like 'hangover horrors' but as the next chapter will be chaper TEN (whoa!) I think I should reward all of you readers by putting some of the vague plot in that this story actually does have!_**

**_This chapter just kept getting longer and longer...I don't know how I did it! I just can't write short chapters anymore! I bet when you see i've updated, you think 'oh gawd, that chapter's got a bazillion words!' what can I say? let me know if these chapters are getting ridulously longto read..._**

**_Thanks to all the reviewers! I love you all so much! You make me write! So this chapter is dedicated to all of you, who like me, are probably fans...i'll say no more and let you read this chapter!_**

_Edited 26/08/2010_

* * *

Ohhhhh! I was so excited! So _sososososososo_ excited! Me, Cloud, Tifa, Denzel and Marlene were in the buggy on the way to the WRO headquarters. What was so important? It had been refurbished! And Reeve had said he had a surprise for me! Yeah, that's what the call was about a few days ago was about (oh and by the way, I forced Chocobo head to put a lock on my door), to say the opening would be soon and that he had a surprise for me! How awesome was that? I couldn't wait to see what it iswas Maybe materia? Or...materia?

"Aunt Yuffie!" Denzel scolded. I was sitting in the seat between him and Marlene, because Tifa wanted them to sit where they could have a proper seatbelt, not the lap belt that I had...thanks Teef. Nice to know you cared...anyway I kept bouncing around because I was so excited!

"Are we there yet?" I asked, _again_.

"Almost Yuffie," Tifa sighed. I kept asking every two minutes...

"What do you think Reeve's surprise is? Huh? HUH?" I asked _again_. Ohhh I couldn't wait!

"I don't know Yuffie. You'll soon find out. We're here now," Cloud said.

"OH! OHOHOHOH!" I yelled excitedly, shoving Denzel out so I could get out. As soon as I was out, I bolted round to the entrance. _Whoa_! Loads of people! I'd better slip into a side room so no one saw me...jeesh that sound so vain. Being a member of Avalanche does that...

"Miss Kisaragi?" GAHHH! I turned around and _whooooa_. There was one hot guy wearing a WRO uniform. Light brown hair... friendly green eyes...hot smile...

"Uh, yes?" I asked, slightly stunned. His smile grew a bit.

"If you'll follow me I have something to show you," he gestured for me to follow. He has something to show me? Him _specifically_?

_Blush_.

DIRTHY THOUGHTS EVACUATE!

"Ohhhhhh! My surprise! Do you know what it is? Well obviously if you're taking me to it. Can you give me a clue? A hint?" I babbled, when I realised what he was talking about, as he led me down corridors that twisted and turned and went up lots of flights of stairs. I was so excited I didn't notice them in all their refurbished glory.

My guide laughed and said "we're almost there now. You'll soon see,"

"That's what everyone keeps saying!" I pouted. He laughed again.

"Not just one little hint?" I asked sweetly, as we walked down yet _another _plush hallway, and up yet _another _flight of stairs.

"Just down here Miss Kisaragi," he grinned. I pulled a face.

"No, just Yuffie please. I hate it when people call me 'Miss Kisaragi,'"

"Well then we're here Yuffie," he said. We had stopped outside a door. A dark wooden, glossy door with the name 'Yuffie Kisaragi' embossed on it, and a little shruiken underneath.

In case you don't know, my official job in the WRO is being head of the espionage and intelligence gathering department. But I did loads of other stuff as well, like other missions, training WRO soldiers, and taking them on experience trips. But I was the head of espionage and intelligence gathering, which was a pretty big deal!

"Here you go," the hot guy smiled, handing me a box. I took it and opened it. Inside was a key. For the door presumably. I took it out and, like the same one on my door, a little shruiken hung on a key ring with a tiny materia. I immediately smiled, while unlocking the door.

Huh?

"OH .MY. _GAWD_!" I screamed, and ran into the room. It was an office! My OWN _office_!

"Just call me if you need me Yuffie," the WRO soldier laughed, walking off.

"_OHMYGAWD OHMYGAWD OHMYGAWD_!" I screamed running around the room. It was really quite big. Not huge, but by no means to small. There was a desk in the middle with a computer, and a phone, and phone book full of numbers of different offices, and all of Avalanche's PHS numbers, as well as loads of cool pens and notebooks and crap like that. And a vase of gorgeous white roses!

There was a huge window facing the Midgar plains with a comfy looking window seat, and one of the walls was covered in a huge wall-size intricately drawn map of Gaia. On another wall was a map of Wutai, also hand drawn beautifully. There were various hooks on the back of the door and wall for my weapons, and a few cabinets and drawers. There was also a bookcase full of all kinds of books. Hell, there was even a mini fridge!

The only thing I couldn't figure out was a strange black patch on the wall. Oh well. I'd puzzle that one out later. I examined everything ten times over, and ran round screaming "this is so _awesome_!" as loud as I could. But it was! Jeesh, I was only part time! The other half time was spent helping Tifa with the bar! Hell, I might even give that up and just stay here 24/7!

After a while, I wandered out of my awesome office into the corridor. I walked up to the next door which was identical to mine, except had a different name on, and a little gun on instead.

"VINNNNNNNNNNNNNNIE!" I cried, bursting into his office. He was sitting behind his desk, polishing Cerberus. He didn't even look up.

"VINNNNNNNNNNNNNNIE!" I cried again, skipping up to his desk.

"...Yuffie," he said.

"HIYA VINNNNNNNNNNIE!" I yelled happily. I've decided to forgive him for the whole walking-in-on-me-in-a-towel-without-knocking-thing.

"..."

I glanced around his office, which was similar to mine. _Mine_ was _better_ though. Mine was _mine_.

"Isn't this _so_ cool? Having these offices? Mine is _sooooo_ awe-"

"Awesome. I heard you," Vinnie said in his low voice. Yes, the sexy voice. I beamed at him.

"Look! Even the keys are cool!" I held up my key with its little shruiken and materia. He showed me his key, which had a miniature version of Cerberus on. I picked it up and pulled the minute trigger. And you know what? A tiny bullet were fired! I squealed.

"Totally kick ass!" I giggled, handing it back to him. He was smirking slightly.

I hopped onto his desk. His smirk turned into a disapproving frown which I ignored.

"Have you seen my office? It's _so_ awesome! You _need_ to see it! I don't think I _ever_ want to leave it! I think I might give up my job in the bar so I can just _sit_ in there being _cool_ and looking _important_!" I gabbled.

"I don't think Tifa would approve of that," Vinnie commented.

"Screw Tifa! The bar _sucks_ compared to my kick ass office Vinnie!" I replied.

His office phone rang, and I grabbed it.

"Yuffie," he frowned, "That's my-"

"_Hello_ Vincent's office!" I greeted. Take _that_ Vinnie! I can be all _posh_ and _formal_ and _whatever_ you are when you answer a phone in an office that isn't _yours_.

"Hello Yuffie. Finished exploring your office then? I could hear you several floors up," Reeve's voice said, somewhat smugly. He had every right to be. I could have _kissed_ him.

"Oh my gawd Reeve it is _sooooo_ awesome! Thank you _soooo_ much!" I squealed, going into detail about how cool everything was. I crossed my legs, and Vinnie watched me as I prattled on at Reeve.

"I'm glad you like it Yuffie," Reeve sounded very pleased by my reaction.

"Sure as heck I like it! I _love_ it! Oh, but what is that black patch on the wall for?" I suddenly asked.

"That is a touch pad to open a secret hiding place in the wall. Put your hand on it. It is programmed to open only by your hand,"

"Oh my gawd that is so awesome!" I screamed into the phone. Vinnie winced at the pitch of my voice.

"I thought you'd like it," Reeve sounded amused, "I've already put some stuff inside it before we programmed it to only open for you,"

"Materia?" I asked hopefully. That would have _really_ made my day.

"Got it in one," he laughed.

"REEVE I _LOVE_ YOU!" I screamed. He laughed harder.

"Please don't steal ours though Yuffie,"

"I won't!" I chanted. Not for now anyway...

"Before you check it out though, can you, and Vincent, who I was actually calling but you it seems have commandeered his phone, come to the conference room?"

"Sure thing boss. We'll be there in a few," I promised, and put the phone down. Still beaming, I turned to Vince, who had finished cleaning, and put away his gun. "Reeve wants to see us in the conference room,"

"...Let's go them," Vinnie said, getting up and walking out. I followed him. But then stopped outside his office as he locked the door.

"Uh, any idea which way it is?" I asked hopefully. I had no clue. _Surely _Reeve should have given me directions...

"..."

"Damnit, that hot guy just said to call him if I needed him...crap! What was his name?" I muttered, remembering what he had said. But what was his name? Had he even said what it was? I don't think he had...but then I could have missed it in my excitement...

"...hot guy?" Vinnie asked is a sarcastic voice.

"Yeah. Can't remember for the life of me what his name was...uh...Sam? Alex? James?" I began calling out random guy names. "Don't just _stand_ there like a lemon Vinnie! _Help_ me! Jake? Oh! Got it! _Daniel_! Maybe not...Bradley?"

Vinnie just stared at me incredulously before turning around and walking up the corridor.

"Max? Hey! Vinnie! Where you going?" I cried, running after him. We walked, me following Vinnie, through a maze of corridors and stairs, before it struck me.

"Vinnie? You don't actually know where we're going do you? You _jerk_! I've been following you while you _wander_ _aimlessly_ around some _huge_ building? Jerk! Well it's my turn to lead!" I hissed angrily, running ahead of him and around a corner. When I saw what was ahead of me though I skidded to a halt.

_Shit_.

"Yuffie? What-"

"Shhhhh! Don't make _any sudden movement_," I breathed, very quietly, and starting to back up very, very s l o w l y.

"...?"

If they saw us we were _dead_.

_Worse _than _dead _in fact.

And that's exactly what happened. One of them turned around and _gasped_. I froze. Then the whole lot of them turned around and _gasped_.

I blinked.

Vinnie blinked.

They blinked.

Before-

"_GET HIM_!" the army of fan girls screamed.

Now I don't know if Vinnie has had any experiences with fan girls, so I did what I thought was best. I grabbed Vinnie's hand, and screamed:

"_RUN FOR YOUR LIFE VINNIE_!"

And took off, dragging him behind me while the _army_ of fan girls thundered after us. He seemed to get that we needed to _get away_, and _fast_, because I suddenly wasn't dragging him anymore. I was still grasping his hand tightly, but we were both pegging it faster than bats out of hell.

I never get that phrase. Bats...vampires right? And vampires are hellish creature...except for the Cullens...and the _really_ sexy one _ten times_ what Edward Cullen could EVER be running with me right now...

...Anyway...

The screams of the fan girls could still be heard as we bolted through corridors and up stairs. I don't know how long we ran for. Could have been hours, could have been minutes, but luck it seemed had run out on us when we suddenly faced a dead end.

"_Fuck_," I swore.

"...!"

We both knew that if we turned and went back up the way we came, certain _death_ would face us.

_Worse _than _death _in fact.

I glanced around desperately as the screams of the fan girls got louder and closer. Then I saw it.

"VINNIE! THERE!" I yelled, pointing to a covered air vent. We would both just about fit through. It would be a squash, but what other choice did we have?

"..?" Vinnie seemed to be having the same doubts.

"WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO WE HAVE?" I pointed out.

He took 0.00004869362548 seconds to decide before fastening the sharp digits of his claw through the mesh, ripping it off, and boosting me into it. I helped him pull him in before starting to crawl along the tight tunnel.

"Vinnie, you better not be staring at my butt," I scowled, when the thought occurred to me than it wouldn't be hard for him to do so.

"I am not staring at your butt Yuffie. I have other...matters on my mind," he grumbled back. He was probably having more trouble forcing his way through the constricted air vent than me. Nyuk nyuk. Being small does have its perks.

"You better not be, because if you are I will _personally_ feed you to those _ravenous_ fan girls, and _trust me_, they will have your clothes off in _seconds_," I assured him. I heard something akin to a snarl in response, which seemed to say '_hurry the fuck up'._

I started using my elbows to pull myself along. Sheesh, the things I did for Vinnie! I would much rather have been chasing him with those fan girls, and ripping his clothes off, but _no_, I was stuck in a _tiny_ _air vent_ which was _so_ dark I couldn't even see the tunnel in front of me...

...Which was not a good thing because I didn't see the vertical _drop_ right in front of me until I had fallen down it...

"YAHHHH!" I screamed as I fell down it.

"Yuff-" Vinnie was cut off in mid call as he too fell down the drop.

"SHIT! FUCK!" I cussed, still falling.

Suddenly, and _finally_, I felt the tunnel level out slowly. Holy _shit_ I would have a _painful _burn on my back.

CRASH!

I abruptly collided with an _invisible_ wall. Well, I didn't see it coming anyway. How was I supposed to know it was there? It was blacker than Sephiroth's heart in there! Plus the tunnel had still been levelling out! Walls _usually_ come when the floor is _flat_.

"Ouch!" I moaned pitifully.

Vinnie seemed to have somehow realised what had happened, or had seen the wall with his freaky enhancements because a dreadful, high pitched, ear splitting shriek filled the air as he dug his claw into one of the sides of the tunnel to stop himself crashing into me...

...which wouldn't have necessarily been a bad thing...would have hurt...but would have meant having Vinnie on top of me...

BE GONE CRUDE THOUGHTS! _GONEGONEGONE_!

I inwardly thanked Leviathan that it was dark and Vinnie couldn't see my flaming cheeks.

Or read my mind for that matter.

"Yuffie? Are you ok?" Vinnie's worried voice asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. Are you?" I replied.

"Unharmed," he answered. Then it occurred to me that he ciuldn't have been very comfortable just _hanging_ insecurely by his claw practically _vertically_. I glanced around, and saw a faint light further up the tunnel.

"Light Vinnie! C'mon!" I cried. Huh...light at the end of the tunnel...don't they say if that you dream about reaching a light at the end of the tunnel then you are...well _dead_?

Good job I wasn't dreaming. I don't think even _I_ could have dreamed up somethingas _obscure_ as _this_ situation.

"Be careful Yuffie," Vinnie warned, before that dreadful squeal of metal against metal came again as he lowered himself down. I winced.

"Sheesh Vinnie," I muttered.

"I apologise,"

The tunnel was straight (horizontally) after that, _thank Leviathan_, but I stuck my hands out in front of me anyway so I would be warned if there were anymore drops, which there weren't.

The light turned out to be another grill, which I couldn't get off. But there was no way in hell that we could manoeuvre so that Vinnie could reach it with his claw.

"Oh _Fuck_. Holy _Fuck_. Holy Mother _Fuck_-"

"Yuffie, please," Vinnie interrupted. I scowled.

"Do you not realise that we are _stuck_ in an _air vent_ with a _stampede_ of _raving mad fan girls'_ intent of getting their hands on you? I think I have every right to a little cussing in our predicament- _hey_! It's that hot guy!" I cut off in mid sentence when I saw 'nameless' hot guy again.

"...Very funny," Vinnie sounded pissed off. Probably because I had reminded him of the horde of fan girls after him.

"No really! It is. How do I get his attention?" I mused.

"How about your ingenious idea of calling out every male name?"

"Jeez Vinnie! Did you get bitten by a sarcasm bug this morning?" I asked.

"..."

"Pssst," I hissed through the grill. 'Nameless' hot guy stopped, frowning.

"PSSST!" this time it worked. Nameless hot guy glanced around for the source of the noise.

"Yuffie?" his asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, uh, hi. Me and Vinnie are in a bit of a situation right now, had to make a bit of a desperate escape from Vinnie's army of fan girls, and now we're stuck so do you think you could get this grill off for us?" I askedhurriedly. It was no fun been stuck in an air shaft!

"Right...Sure," The nameless hot guy said, looking slightly disconcerted. Its not every day you hear of a situation like the one we managed to get ourselves into though.

He pulled a pen knife out and started unscrewing the screws. When he finished that, he pulled it off, and I, stupidly leaning on the damn thing, tumbled out gracelessly. Nameless hot guy caught my elbow and stopped me from tumbling right to the floor, and I smiled in thanks. Vinnie jumped out landing perfectly and gracefully despite his undignified situation. Boy it gets annoying how he can do EVERYTHING, and _everything_ PERFECTLY!

"Thanks," I grinned ruefully. Nameless hot guy smiled.

"No problem. May I ask what exactly happened though?" he asked.

"_Weeeell_, Me and Vinnie were looking for the conference room, _buuut_ we ran into an _army_ of _Fan girls_, who wanted nothing more to get their hands on Vinnie, so we were running around like headless Chocobos while they chased us, but then we ran into a dead end, and the only way of escape was a air vent, which was really small and dark and horrible, and there was a vertical drop that we fell down, then we wound up where you found us," I informed him, he was grinning widely and trying not to laugh.

"Sound like...you've had quite an adventure," he said, struggling not to laugh. Don't blame him. I mean...we crawled along an _air vent_ to escape _fan girls_. Not something you do _every_ day really...

"You could say that...hey do you know where the conference room is?" I asked. We were probably very late now...

"Yeah. Hang on a second and I'll take you there. Just got to drop this off in here," nameless hot guy said, gesturing to a small hand gun he had in his hands, and went through a door.

"Vinnie, ask his name for me will you?" I hissed to him. I couldn't just call him 'hey'!

"...Why don't you?" Vinnie asked. I sighed in exasperation.

"Vinnie, you don't just _ask_ a good _looking guy_ his _name_! Especially when you _already_ know him...even if that is as 'nameless hot guy'!" I frowned. Jeesh...hang on...did Vinnie look..._moody_?

"...You," Oh my gawd! What was his _problem_? He sounded like...a _two year old_!

I huffed at him. Moron. Moron acting out of character...

The door opened again, and nameless hot guy came out without the hand gun.

"Right, this way then," he smiled, walking along the corridor. Me and Vinnie followed.

"Hey...can I ask you a question that might sound slightly offensive?" I asked him. He smiled (when isn't he? He's so cheerful and nice...and _hawt_!) Looking slightly amused.

"Shoot,"

"Well...what's your name?" no point beating about the bush was there? To my surprise, he just laughed. He didn't look offended at all. Just perplexed.

"Figured you'd ask that soon, seeing as you haven't called me by name at any time," he grinned.

"So...uh...what is it?" I giggled.

"Shane,"

"Great! Well then, Hiya Shane!" I said brightly, holding my hand out. He didn't shake it like I expected though; he grasped it and pressed it to his lips. Now if some geezer in Wutai had done that, I would have pulled a face and probably wreched, but it was a hot WRO soldier called Shane so I giggled. He lowered my hand and grinning.

"Did I not say Shane?" I asked, turning to Vinnie. Whoa! He sure looked _pissed_! What was up with him?

"...No," he said in his monotone.

"Oh. Could have sworn I did..." I said so many...I can't really remember.

"Sworn you did what?" Shane asked curiously. I looked sheepishly at him.

"Well, you said to call you if I needed you, and we didn't know where the conference room was, and I didn't know your name, so I kind of just called random guy's names," I explained. He just laughed again. It was infectious, and I grinned.

"So, how long have you been with the WRO?" I asked curiously; I hadn't seen him around before.

"About six months. I'm training for espionage and intelligence gathering," he answered.

"That's what I'm head of!" I squealed! There was a hot Guy I could order around!

In a _non-wrong_ way. Strictly WRO business way.

"Yeah...I really should call you Captain Kisaragi-"

"But that would get a shruiken shoved up your ass," I said conversationally. He laughed.

"Yakes!" Oh _gawd_! What is _he_ doing here? I turned to Vinnie.

"Please Vinnie, shoot him for Leviathan's sake!" I begged.

"...don't tempt me,"

"Oh hey darlin'...Valentine," Reno greeted, and then turned to Shane, whose last name I pressumed was 'Yakes', "Have you got that gun Yakes?"

"Yes sir. I put it in your office," Shane answered.

Reno has an office? Oh gawd!

"Why? WHY?" I asked Leviathan.

"Well you see princess; Reeve thought I would be easier if I had an office since Rufus has got me helping him out and all-"

"No, I don't mean why have you got an office, I mean WHY is this happening? _WHY_?" I cried. Wow, I could have a career in theatrics if I wanted!

"...We need to get to the conference room Yuffie," Vinnie reminded me.

"Right. Let's go then," I agreed hurriedly. I needed to get away from Reno before I decked him.

"Excuse us sir," Shane said, which made me start laughing.

"What's up princess?" Reno asked, grinning.

"It just sounds so absurd hearing someone call you '_sir'_ which is a term used for respect, and, well, how could anyone respect a _jerk_ like _you_?" I giggled. Reno just grinned.

"Aw, still pissed at me princess?" he asked, in a jokey tone. I couldn't _believe_ him. He was such a _jerk_.

"Yes Reno. I _am_ still pissed at you," I informed him in a now serious voice.

"I see you've forgiven Valentine," he said, nodded towards Vinnie. Shane looked between the three of us curiously. I hoped he didn't find out what-

"Didn't he go into your room without knocking as well? And he didn't even see-" I interrupted Reno, who had _sooo_ just asked for my shruiken to be shoved up a place where the sun didn't shine!

"The difference being Vincent actually had a message from Reeve, unlike you, who didn't even apologise!" I snapped. I was really pissed now, "And talking of Reeve, he's been waiting long enough. Shane would you like to continue?"

"This way Yuffie, Mr Valentine," Shane said.

"On a first name basis _Yuffie_?" Reno asked in a mocking tone. I narrowed my eyes at him, "Don't worry Yakes, I'll take them," Reno continued.

"I'm quite capable of taking them Sir," Shane said in an even tone, but his eyes looked annoyed. They both then proceeded to have a man-to-man glare down.

Is it just me, or is like possessiveness over me? I know that is kind of vain, but me and Shane were getting along really well before Reno came along, and stole the spotlight from him, and starting talking about stuff involving him and me, and stuff Shane didn't know about. And now they were having a glaring contest, like people do when some like this happens...right?

"Haaaaaah," I flinched (in a good way) when I suddenly felt Vinnie's cold gauntlet on my back, or more precisely, on my burn from the air vent, snaking its way around my waist.

Reno and Shane glanced around, and when they saw Vinnie's claw around my waist (fantastically cool over my burning burn), they glared at him instead. He just glared back.

...What the _frick_? I mean _seriously_...what was _this_? Was it one of those _guy things_? Like those _women things_ that men don't understand because we're apparently 'to damn emotional'? I could understand why Shane and Reno glaring at each other, but why are they glaring at Vinnie? It wasn't as if he put his arm around me _possessively_! He, being the _gentleman_ he _is_, noticed that burn on my back (which was kind of his fault as I was helping _him_ escape _rabid fan girls_), and put his metal gauntlet around me to take the heat out. Because that's the gentle man Vinnie is, _unlike_ Reno.

But then why was Vinnie glaring back?

_Let's just forget that because I don't __want to think about that because I couldn't find an explaination that would match up and I don't like that and anyway the showdown was coming to an en_d.

Now we just need to remember that Vinnie is _Vincent, _the Vincent Valentine with the _scare the living fucking daylights out of you_ glare which scares_ the living fucking daylights out of people_ (except me because _I_ am the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi who is immune to Vinnie glares maybe because she just thinks about how beautiful his gorgeous red eyes are) so he naturally won. What was their _pansy_ little '_death'_ glares compared to Vinnie's DEATH GLARE OF ULTIMATE DEATH? _Nothing_!

They both visibly cringed and thought about their wrong doings. Me and Vinnie started forward because they'd be no more arguments about who would be showing us to the conference room _now_. However, when we had just passed Reno, Shane starting forward to show us the way, I heard something and stopped, flashing a wink at Vinnie and Shane.

"_Reno_," I said in a singsong voice.

"Yes darlin'?"

"I'm _waiting_," I continued in the same singsong voice.

"Waiting for what?" Reno seemed genuinely confused.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Vinnie paling. He must have heard. His grip round my waist tightened slightly, and he tensed, ready to _grab_ me and _run_. It suddenly seemed to dawn on Shane what I was doing, as he was grinning.

"Waiting for you to _apologise_," I chanted. It was getting closer now...just had to delay a _little_ bit longer, "If you apologise I _might_ forgive you,"

YES! They had come around the corner, and they all collectively froze, and gasped. Reno was suddenly aware of many presences behind him.

"RENO!" The fan girls screamed, charging forward. Reno stood frozen, having not quite soaked in the situation yet. Me, Vinnie and Shane however, ran for it, me and Shane laughing.

Ok, maybe I was being a bit harsh on Reno. But stronger measures need to be called for right? I don't like him in _that way_, and he isn't giving me a _chance_ to like him in a _different way_ because he just keeps _pissing_ me off with his _but I like you in that way._

Anyway, I didn't think he would have minded that much about the fan girls; they'd love for him to _screw_ the _living daylights_ out of them I was sure. And that hopefully would get him to forget me, so we'd both be getting something good out of it right?

Shaking these thought out of my head, I focused on the matter at hand: running as fast as we could, because surely Reno wouldn't be able to stall the fan girls for long. They're after _Vinnie_.

I swore when we heard a slightly depleted horde of fan girls still in pursuit. They were the fan girls that were the _dedicated_ fan girls, and _no one_ was going to stall them from their chase after _Vinnie_.

"_Shit_!" I yelled, as the familiar screams were heard.

"Quick! I'll try and distract them from here! Go left three times, right, then left again. Then go straight on and it's the third door on the right! You'll be safe there!" Shane yelled, stopping. Vinnie's arm (still around my waist) kept me from stopping to, and arguing that the fan girls would probably torture him for information if he stopped.

"...Thank you," Vinnie said, and streaked past, dragging me behind. I felt numb, reluctantly starting to run again.

"VINNIE! We can't just leave him!" I cried, my senses kicking in. He'd be lucky to make it out with his _life_! We sped through the first left turning Shane had directed us through.

"He'll be fine Yuffie," Vinnie answered, towing me around the second left turning.

"You can talk! If he's going to be _fine_, why are you _running_?" I shouted angrily, as we went round the third left turning.

"It is not him they are seeking," He replied. Pssssh! It was all right for him to say that! He was safely running while Shane risked _himself_ for Vinnie! We bolted through the turning on the right.

"So brave," I sighed, feeling defeated.

"...I'm sure his brave sacrifice will go down in history," the comment was dripping in sarcasm. I ground to a halt, glaring.

"HEEEEEEEEEY! FAN GIRLS! HE'S OVER _HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!" I screamed as loud as could. Faint screams followed.

Vinnie glared at me, while looking frantic (the mix of these looks on his face were quite amusing), and slapping a hand over my mouth, he grabbed me and _ran_, dragging me straight on, ignoring the left and right turns.

One door...two doors...three doors! Vinnie yanked it open, and threw himself inside, pulled me in, and slammed it shut. Reeve looked up, startled, while we both stood there, panting.

"What in Gaia happened to you?" he asked, incredulously.

"You..._gasp_...don't..._gasp_...want to..._gasp_...know," I panted. Vinnie just glared at Reeve. I don't blame him; probably asking '_why the fuck did you lets hordes of unruly, hormonal crazed bitches in?'_ I was wondering the same thing. If he let them in purpose, I would have added him to my 'Whose having my Shruiken shoved so far up there ass it'll come out of the top of their head' list, taked number one spot from Reno.

"What did you wish to see us about Reeve?" Vinnie asked in a strained voice. Sounded to me that he was also considering where he'd shove his gun if Reeve let those women in on purpose.

"Well...you kind of took so long that I gave the task to someone else," Reeve said.

...

...

...

"SO YOU'RE TELLING ME," I exploded, marching up to the desk he was sitting behind, and slammed my fist down, "THAT WE JUST GOT CHASED BY A BUNCH OF UNCONTROLLABLE, WILD, FAN GIRLS, CRAWLED ALONG AN AIR SHAFT, FELL DOWN A VERTICAL DROP IN SAID AIRSHAFT, KILLED SOME INNOCENT _HOT_ WRO SOLDIER, AND THEN GOT CHASED HERE BY THE SAME HORMONAL LUNATICS?" all I really wanted to shout was 'ALL CREATION' or 'ULTIMATE END'.

I was not a happy bunny. And judging by the look of _ultimate_ _death_ on Vinnie's face, he wasn't either.

"But...your offices are only just along the corridor and down the stairs..." Reeve said in a rather scared, timid voice. I gawped at him. We had just run in a _huge circle_, and gone through _hell_, when this room was literally a few metres away.

"I am going to go get my Shruiken. By the time I get back, you need to have run far, _far_ away," I warned. Vinnie was glaring so hard I'm surprised Reeve didn't spontaneously combust into flames.

I marched to the door with Vinnie following, then stopped ant turned to Reeve.

"Any fan girl deaths will not be our fault," I informed him.

"...And you'd better start running," Vinnie said in a calm, cool voice. We went through the door, and along the corridor, and down the stairs, and sure enough, there were our offices.

Reeve was _so_ dead.

Any fan girl I met was _so_ dead.

And if I met Reno, he was _so_ dead.

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

I came out of my office brandishing my shruiken, just as Vinnie came out of his, readying Cerberus.

"Ready?" I asked Vinnie. He nodded.

We walked through the corridors of the newly refurbished WRO head quarters (which I still failed to notice), emanating such as strong sense of _pissed off-ness_ and _certain death_ that people scattered as soon as they saw us.

Let the fan girls come. Because I was _so_ going to avenge Shane, the hot WRO soldier.

And if we met Reeve...he was warned.

* * *

**_The ending on this wasn't as satisfying as my other endings, but as I mentioned previously, I had to stop this chapter from getting even longer. It'll fit in easily somewhere else though. I'll give you a peek to what it is; a fair and fireworks. of course, at a fair ther are lots of people, and fairground rides...imagine yuffie at one of these? and Vincent? Maybe i'll use it on a the meteor aniversary or something._**

**_I should probably go revise for the maths examI have tomorrow, which is going to contribute to my final GCSE grade...opps. I am purposly posting this chapter latish so when I get home tomorrow after doing the exam, I will have reviews to hopefully look forward to reading._**

**_I hoped you liked this chapter! I loved writing this one! I can't say when the next update will be, but I have a feeling it won't be for a while. I mean New Moon is out next friday! I can't wait. Plus I have lots of other stuff to do (blame college) and the next chapter is one of the original chapters I planned for this story, so it will take me some time to write probably. Thanks again to those people who review, favorite or alert, or who are going to! I love you all!_**

Notes 26/08/2010: Jeez there was a lot of typos and grammer mistakes to edit in this. Sorry to all those who had to read through them! The biggest problem I found was that I kept alternating between the past and present tense. I should be writing in the past, but I keep switching to the present. I don't know why. The other problem was that I kept missing off the begginning of sentenses: I was putting things like 'Must have heard' instead of 'He must have heard'. Its things like that that can help improve your writing though.

Another thing I noticed, in all of the chapters so far in fact, is that when ever Vincent is refered to, he is always refered to as 'Vinnie'. When I wrote these chapters, it didn't seem like a problem, but when ever I write chapters now, I try to balance 'Vinnie' with 'Vince' and 'Vincent' as well. Perhaps my writing is maturing as well as Yuffie. I hope so! Anyway, onward and upwards, I'll go edit the next chapter now!


	10. Impulses

_**Hey everyone! I'm sorry, again, Long time no update. I apologise...but here it is, and this chapter has a special treat for everyone on Christmas day! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!**_

_**This chapter doesn't actually mention christmas, but seeing as I knew I wouldn't finish it before, I decided to update in time for Christmas as a special christmas treat, and I think you'll like this chapter! It kind of different to my other chapters, being one of the original one I planned for this fic, and I hope it didnt get OOC, and I felt that it kind of wasn't 100% towards the end, but I wanted to update in time for christmas.**_

_**Thank you thank you thank you to all you reviews, alerters and favoriters; I love you to bits! All the reviews were fantastic, and I love that you enjoy reading this story, because I love writing it and look forward to hearing your thoughts on it! When I'm writing it, I'm often thinking 'oh the readers will laugh at that' or 'they'll like this bit'**_

_**I'll stop babbling now and let you read the story! This is the longest chapter yet I think, but I thought screw it, this is one of the proper plot line parts! **_

_**Disclaimer (I forgot this in the past few updates, opps!) I do not own any of the characters (except for the couple I made up like Shane), they belong to FF7, Sqaure Enix.**_

_**Merry Christmas everyone!**_

_Edited 27/08/2010_

* * *

I was sulking about having work in the bar (Tifa had literally had to drag me from my office). Scowling, I wiped the counter down. Damn Tifa! She was currently out food shopping with Marlene and Denzel, so I was stuck here instead of my awesome office! Cloud, as usual was out delivering. Vincent was off gallivanting with Shelke. Stupid bitch. Ok that was a bit mean, but every time I thought I _might_ be getting somewhere with Vinnie, that he might be _properly_ moving on, she comes, runs off with him, and then he comes back brooding and angsting more than ever!

"Whoa there! Hey! Hang on ya' stupid mutt!" someone sounding suspiciously like Barret yelled. I looked up, and my jaw dropped. Barret-giant, goliath, massive Barret- was been _dragged_ into the bar by an _Old English sheepdog_.

Holy _Shit_ on a _stick_.

Then I exploded (everyone else in the bar was screaming, jumping and running).

"_Ohmygawd_ so _cute_! Barret you got a _dog_! Ohmygawd! Awww! _Who's a gorgeous dog? Who is? Yes you are! _Barret! What's her name?" I babbled, talking, cooing and fussing the dog; I love dogs! So adorable!

"Hasn't got one yet. Gonna' let Marlene name her," Be grunted. He looks slightly annoyed that the dog got more attention and a better welcome than him...

"Call her Fluffy! Or Fluffelkins..." I started rattling off names, while the dog in question was straining against the lead to run around the bar, while the almighty Barret struggled to control her. Customers were glancing fearfully at her. Giggling (there was no way in hell that that dog was dangerous! Not when she had just jumped up and licked Barret on the nose!), I told him to take her into the living quarters.

I can't believe Barret got a dog!

"Shit! Watch it ya' mangy mongrel!" I heard Barret yell, followed by the sound of something smashing. I giggled again.

Barret. A _dog_. A _cute_, _fluffy_ dog.

What the _fuck_ was happening to the world?

OOO

Tifa liked the dog. What she didn't like was the mess she had made. So she made me take her to the park, which was strangely deserted. Maybe because of the sign saying 'Warning; gang ground'. Psssh I'd like to tell the 'gang' where they could shove their crappy sign. Gawd help them if they came and met me. They may intimate kids, but I'd show them intimidation when I introduced them to my shruiken!

Yeah so I was sitting on a swing whilst the dog ran around wildly. By the way, Marlene was ecstatic about the dog. And she did name it. I can't believe Barret was actually going to allow the name she's given it, because she's called the dog-

"_Vinnie_! Shelke...what are you doing here?" My ecstatic cry faltered when I saw Shelke behind Vinnie.

"..."

"Yuffie Kisaragi,"

Oh gawd. The dot dot dots. A sure sign of wallowing. And I would really like to show Shelke where she could shove her 'Yuffie Kisaragi's' but I don't think Vinnie would like it...

"So where have you been for the past week and a half? Must have been really important, and you must have been really busy considering you couldn't seem to answer any calls or texts!" Ok, yes, now I was angry. It's Shelke's presence I swear.

"..."

"Oh, I see. _So_ important that you now can't even _speak_ to a person like _me_ because _I_ haven't done anything as _important_ as the _important_ thing you've done, and so am to _lowly_ to have my questions answered, and well as my calls and texts!" ok I was really pissed now. He was just staring at me. Stupid _jerk_. He could _kiss_ his materia _goodbye_.

"Right. Well, if I'm just going to be ignored, I'm going to and waste my time elsewhere," I turned to leave, stepping forward.

"...Why are you here?" on 'gang ground'? On my own?

"Oh, he speaks!" I exclaimed, glaring. He didn't even glare back. "Barret got a pet that was driving Tifa crazy,"

...A pet that loves people. That loves people...how would Vinnie react? I grinned.

"KITTY!" I called the dog that wasn't in sight. Vinnie remained stoic. Kitty. Yep, that's what Marlene named the dog. She called a massive _dog,_ _Kitty_.

Vinnie doesn't like cats, and with a name like 'Kitty' he probably thinks a cat going to jump out of nowhere. So the flicker of surprise on his face was very amusing when a huge, lumbering, old English sheep dog ran out and practically knocked him off of his feet. Because that's the last thing you expect to see when you call 'Kitty'.

The adorable dog in question was jumping up at Vinnie, attempting to lick him. He just pushed her off. Kitty whined, lay down, with her head in her paws, looking very rejected and sad.

I, not completely inhuman like the jerk standing in front of me, could not just let a dog look so dejected.

"Oh there's a good girl! Ignore the scary, mean, creepy old vampire!" I fussed the poor dog. I know Vincent was glaring at me. He always does when I call him 'vamp' 'vampy' or 'vampire'

Kitty whined.

"Oh I know, Hush," I cooed.

After a great deal more fuss, Kitty stopped been depressed and I clipped on the lead.

"C'mon you silly Kitty." I giggled at this, "no pun intended girl. I still can't believe Marlene gave you that ridiculous name!"

Kitty trotted happily by my side, while the walking dead followed behind me. I studiously ignored them because thinking about them would jaust make me extremely annoyed; He was angsting _again_! Why? WHY? He was _alive_ wasn't he? He had _friends_ didn't he? He didn't _deserve_ them if this was how he treated them, dot dot doting them and all!

Oh for the love of Leviathan! Lucrecia was _dead_, by her _own_ doing. She was _stupid_. _She_ made the damn choices, _not_ him!

And Shelke? She...she was a _human_ with parts of Lucrecia's memories. But she was _human_, and she does _feel_, because she is _human_, and she doesn't need Mako anymore, so she is _human_! And any _human_ can see that those memories are screwing Vincent up! He did forgive himself after Omega, but Shelke still reminded him of those memories, so he'd still think about Lucrecia, who was _dead_! And that would remind him of the fact that he'd loved her, but she was dead! Its unhealthy thinking about someone who is dead all the time!

SHELKE AND LUCRECIA ARE BOTH COWS! YOU HEAR ME? SHELKE? YOU'RE A BITCH! YOU'RE SCREWING VINNIE UP FOR A SECOND TIME! THIS MAKES YOU AS BAD AS LUCRETCIA (WHO IS REALLY, REALLY BAD) BECAUSE SHE SCREWED HIM UP THE FIRST TIME!

I...I couldn't try and fix him if Shelke kept coming back and screwing up the unscrewing...

Gawd, I'm angsting now.

Sniffing angrily, I increased my march.

Instead of going through the bar doors, I went through the back door, into the kitchen, where Tifa was sitting. Kitty immediately went and did a dog version of glomping her.

"Hey Kitty! Hi Yuffie! Oh! Vincent, Shelke!" Tifa smiled. Why would you smile at Shelke when she walks in? All you'll get is a-

"Hello Tifa Lockhart."

I mean, what kind of greeting is that?

Tifa's eyes strayed to me. She could immediately see I was...upset and irritated. She would have known why as well.

Instead of hanging around in the _oh so cheery kitchen_, I stalked into the TV room, and sat down stiffly in a chair with my arms crossed, next to Denzel. Barret and Marlene were at the back of the room.

"Was that Valentine an' Shelke I just 'erd?" Barret asked. I nodded. I could still here them from in here.

"So what have you been up to? You didn't answer any of Yuffie's text Vincent." Tifa asked, in her smiley voice. Couldn't she see it was wasted on them?

"We have been busy Tifa Lockhart," _Gawd_ Shelke. She asked _Vinnie_, not _you_. No wonder he never talked! Shelke _didnt't _let him!

I tried to tune them out. Unsuccessfully.

"May we stay here tonight Tifa Lockhart?"

He wasn't staying.

I got up abruptly. Denzel was watching me. He was probably lonely; Barret was there so Marlene would be soaking up all the time she could with him.

"Want to come see my office Denzel?" I asked him. He nodded, and stood up. I went round through the bar door rather than going through the kitchen.

"It's a bit of a walk from here Denny boy," I said light heartedly.

"I know," he said. He looked quite happy. But as I said, Tifa's on bar duty now, and Marlene and Barret will probably go out. He could go with them if he'd of wanted, but I don't think he liked intruding. That's what he told me anyway.

"It really bothers you doesn't it Aunt Yuffie?" he suddenly asked. I didn't need to ask what he was talking about. I sighed.

"Yes," I said softly, "He's my friend Denzel. I don't like it when my friends aren't happy,"

"And it makes you unhappy when your friends aren't happy," He stated.

"Yes. And tell me if Vincent looks happy Denzel! Every time he goes off with Shelke, he just gets messed up! I try to fix him...I just wish he could be happy like the rest of us. But what's the use trying when he's just going to waltz off and do whatever he and Shelke do? He'll just come back and start to brood all over again! It's infuriating! I can't stand it!" I ranted at Denzel. Then I grinned sheepishly, "Sorry Denzel. I didn't mean to dump all that on you,"

I swear I was confiding in the kids recently. First Marlene, now Denzel!

"You shouldn't give up Aunt Yuffie. That's what Cloud tried to do. And Tifa kicked his ass," Denzel grinned.

"You think that's what Vinnie needs huh? A good ass kicking? Doesn't sound like a bad idea Denzel," I grinned back. Maybe that _was _what I should do. I was always telling him if he didn't stop brooding I'd kick his ass. If I followed through with my threat, he might snap out of it because he'd live in fear of my ninjaness!

"You care about him most don't you Aunt Yuffie?" Denzel asked. He already knew the answer so there was no point denying it.

"He's the one who needs caring about the most," I sighed, then shook myself out of sentimental conversation "Enough of this sentimental shi...crap Denzel. If caring means shoving my shruiken up his ass that that what I'll do,"

OOO

When we got to WRO headquarters, I showed Denzel my office. He agreed that it was kick ass. I showed him how the touch pad worked, and even let him sort my materia. Then we scoffed the chocolate I keep in my mini-fridge, and pranked people's offices.

"Come in!" I called when I heard a knock on my door. It opened, and the person shut the door behind them.

"Oh my gawd SHANE!" I yelled, glomping him, "You're alive! I thought the fan girl's had killed you!"

"Well they didn't," he laughed. I pointed to Denzel.

"This is Denzel, Denzel this is Shane," I introduced.

"Oh, so you're the nameless hot guy who helped Aunt Yuffie and Uncle Vincent escaped an army of fan girls?" Denzel asked.

"Uh...I guess so," Shane said.

"So what brings you to my office Shane?" I asked hurriedly, shooting Denzel a glare. He just _had_ to say that didn't he?

"Well...you rang the emergency line saying that there was an emergency," he said, looking confused at the lack of...emergency.

Opps. Guess he tracked the number.

"Oh," Denzel laughed, "Well we just-"

"Ran out of chocolate," I interrupted. If Reeve found out he would probably have got mad...

"You ran out of...chocolate," Shane repeated.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter now because I forgot that I had some in the touch pad vault," I said quickly. Denzel was stuffing his fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing at my lame cover story.

"Right," Shane said. He looked around the office, "You've set up home in here haven't you?"

"Yeah," I answered. I'd hung a huge picture of all of Avalanche on the wall, with Marlene and Denzel in as well, as well as loads of pictures of Wutai and stuff. I'd got a display of weapons on the wall, as well as books and music scattered all over the place. My computer background was, again, a picture off all of Avalanche, except I'd meddled with is so everyone was pulling a funny face.

"Why shouldn't I have?" I asked, suspiciously.

"Well, I just heard that Miss Rui was requesting an office swap with you," Shane shrugged.

What. The. _Fuck_?

"WHAT?" I yelled. Shane looked startled. Denzel looked kind of pissed.

"Why does she want to swap?" he asked. Did she get on _his_ nerves _as well_? Or was it just because he was surprised how she managed to upset _me_, through _Vinnie_?

"That's just what I heard. I thought she would have talked to you," Shane said.

"Well she hasn't! What else did you hear?" I asked angrily. That little _bitch_!

"Nothing...just that she was going to personally asked Reeve to swap offices with you for convenience," He told me, then added "That'd pretty ignorant without consulting you before asking the president,"

"Wouldn't it just? _Convenience_ my _ass_! She just wants to have an office next to Vincent!" I snarled. What the hell? I couldn't _believe_ this! If she'd gone to Reeve already, he would assume that she'd run this by me, and gone ahead and moved my stuff without telling me!

"Don't tell Tifa I said this, but what a _cow_," Denzel exclaimed.

"Well I'm one ninja who isn't going to be snuck up on from behind!" I fumed. I just couldn't believe it! _First_ she messes Vinnie up, and _then_ she tries to steal my office, which is conveniently next to Vinnie's! Well she's got another thing coming!

After I had been up to Reeve's office, threatening bodily harm to the guard at his door who said he was too busy to see anyone (Denzel and Shane just shrugged helplessly at the guard), and made Reeve _promise_ I could stay in my office no matter _what_, I asked Denzel if he wanted me to teach him some hand to hand combat. He enthusiastically agreed, and we headed down to the training ground. Shane had to get back to work, but said he would come back.

So me and Denzel spent the next hour or so fighting. Denzel was a fast learner, and was brilliant at the moves I taught him...All I could say is he'll sleep well tonight!

We went into the cafeteria to get a drink and some noms. Surprisingly, I did tell Denzel that we had to have something _relatively_ healthy. Not just chocolate and chips...

OOO

Later after lunch, I did actually go do some work in my kickass office. Shane offered to take Denzel on a tour of the building, so I spent some time reading reports and emails, and replying. I _did_ do _most_ of it before getting distracted. And I didn't even _mean_ to get distracted. I just _somehow_ managed to find funny fan art of Avalanche...and one comic really caught my attention.

Now I was very familiar with the battle in the forgotten city between Cloud and the remnants. And Vincent rescuing him of course. So when I saw this comic, I was pissing myself laughing. _Really_. I was laughing so hard and so much, I was disturbing my neighbour. Who was _very_ hard to disturb because he's Vincent Valentine. Yeah, I thought he was at the bar, but he clearly came in to do some work or something.

When he knocked on the door, and entered my kickass office, the pissed off look on his face did _nothing_ to stem my laughter. It did the opposite. As soon as I saw who had come in, I exploded into _more_ laughter. Gawd, it hurt laughing so hard! He just stood there, looking annoyed, and kind of confused at my outburst upon seeing him.

"Yuffie, please can you refrain from laughing so loudly," he said, in a pissed off voice. And I think I'd just discovered a way to make Vincent Valentine say more than two words; just piss him off!

I, of course, did not 'refrain from laughing so loudly'. I shook my head in apology to him. He glared while I continued to laugh _uncontrollably_, one arm clutched around my middle, and the other over my mouth trying to muffle my laughter.

"..."

_Laugh_.

"..."

_Laugh_.

"..."

_Laugh_-

"..!."

_Laugh_.

"...What is so funny?" he asked in an as-frustrated-tone-of-voice-as-Vinnie-frustrated-tones-of-voice-go.

"_You-laugh-you-laugh" _here I pointed at him, one arm still around my middle to stop myself tearing in two from laughter, "got stuck-_laugh_-in a-_laugh_- _TREE_!" I continued to laugh hysterically.

"...what?" poor Vinnie looked genuinely confused, and really cute because of this, but this only made me laugh harder.

"I have never been stuck in a tree," he frowned.

"YES YOU HAVE!" I corrected him, _still_ laughing.

"...When?" he asked.

"In the forgotten city," I informed him. I _finally_ managed to control my laughter, and calmed it to frequent giggling.

"..."

_Giggle_.

"..."

_Giggle_-

"..?."

_Giggle_.

"I have never been stuck on a tree in the forgotten city,"

"_Yes_ you _have_! In the forgotten city, rescuing Cloud from the remnants-" I broke into hysterical laughter _again_.

"..." he just gave me a really odd look, like I'd just thrown up on his killer clanker boots or something, and left the room.

I took my arm from around by shaking body and got to comic up again and attached it to an email saying 'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA' and sent it to Vinnie. I practically had to shove my fist into my mouth to shut myself up and calm down a little. But I couldn't; not when imaging Vinnie's face if he read my email and opened the attachment...

My door suddenly, not quite slammed, opened and Vinnie strode in. He looks more pissed than before...I _wonder_ if he looked at the comic...

The look on his face was _not_ that of a happy bunny. I forced myself to stop laughing, and take a deep breath. I managed to keep a straight face for a grand total of two seconds, before exploding into laughter, leaning my head onto the desk.

Really I don't know why I find this _so_ amusing. Vinnie sure didn't...but just the idea of _Vincent Valentine_...perfect, co-ordinated, brooding _Vincent Valentine_ getting _stuck_...in a _tree_...

HA! Now he knows what it's like to have someone laugh at you, like he did to me with the whole spider thing! That would teach _him_ to laugh at me like _that_, over _that_, again!

My laughing abated, and I sat up, looking up at a still very pissed Vince.

"...Finished?" he asked. _Opps_. He _really _didn't sound happy...

I was about to say 'yes' when-

"No," I started laughing again. I didn't take _too_ long to stop this time. With one last giggle, I looked back up.

"Now I am," I told him, still with a grin that threatened to give way to laughter.

He just stood there glaring. I really should tell him that his death glares don't have _any_ effect on me, because it probably hurts his eyes.

"Uh, can I help you?" I asked.

"I did _not_ get stuck in a tree in the forgotten city rescuing Cloud from the remnants," he informed my coolly, still glaring. Seventeen words he just used! In one _whole_ sentence!

"Yeah..." I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing again, but in vain, "_but_ you _did_!"

"I did not," he argued.

"You _did_!" I snorted.

"I did-" he broke off, scowling even more, knowing I could go at '_did not'_ '_did to'_ thing for _hours_.

I giggled.

"See! You just _admitted_ it!" his scowl deepened even more. He wanted to be careful; if he scowled anymore his face might off stayed like that _permanently_! And I didn't want that!

"Yuffie, this is childish," he said.

"Your _face_ is childish," I sniggered. This seemed to be the _wrong_ thing to say.

"You do realise that that was just a comic," he snapped. That was _also _the _wrong_ thing to say.

I abruptly stopped laughing and scowled instead; couldn't he take a _joke_? Oh, wait, remember, He's Vincent _brooding_, _wallowing_, _angsting_, Valentine, so _no_, he _couldn't_.

"Yes Vincent, I _do_ realise that that was just a comic. I was just having a laugh about it though. You should try it, instead of buggering off without telling _anyone_ and ignoring _all_ your texts while everyone else waits around, _worrying_ their _asses_ off about you!" I retorted. Now _I _was the one who was pissed. He looked slightly taken aback by my sudden change of mood and subject.

"It _was_ just a comic, and if you weren't being so _negative_, like you _always_ are when you get back from travelling with Shelke, you might see that _too_ rather than being so pissy about it!" I was going onto full rant mode now. I was just _so_ sick, and _so_ tired! I stood up and walked over to him.

"_You_ need to start seeing your glass as half full instead of half empty; instead of the things you haven't got, consider the things you have got; _open your eyes_ and look around you Vincent! Because one of the things you _have_ got is _friends_! Has it _ever_ crossed your mind that _maybe_ when you're unhappy and all negative then _that's_ what your friends will be as well? Because they _care_ about you? Because that's what _does_ happen!"

Ok, well I was talking more about _me_ than _everyone_ else in general, but everyone else does worry about him so it's true. And he knew I was pissed and upset because I usually only call him Vincent when I'm pissed or upset.

"You need to start living in the _now_, instead of the _past_, and stop _dwelling_ on the mistakes you made. Live like me! As if today is your _last_ day! On _impulse_! That way, you do _everything_ you want to do, and give it your best shot. That way, if you want something to happen, or _not_ to happen, you do everything in your power so it _does_ or _doesn't_; you can't blame yourself for what does or doesn't happen because you _did your best_; there's nothing else you could have done," I was coming to the end of my tirade now, "This is impulse, right here right now. I didn't _plan_ to lecture your ear off! It's only because you're being such a _jerk_ that I _am_! It's your own fault! Otherwise, I'll end up sticking my shruiken up a place where you don't want want it, and I'm pretty damn sure you _don't_ want that to happen. So what I'm _trying_ to _say_ is when you and Shelke resume whatever you do, _please_ don't come back brooding, and angsting and _whatever_! Just _stop_ it. _Stop_ it gawd damnit!" I ceased yelling at the gunslinger, and stood breathing slightly faster than usual, my eyes lowered to the floor, effectively stopping myself glaring at him with the _strength_ of a _supernova_.

I felt kind of self conscious now. That was a _lot_ to dump on him. He himself is just watching me, no doubt processing what I just ranted _hundred miles a minute_ to him, with one of the rare looks in his eyes that I can't identify.

I hope I hadn't over stepped the line.

"I'll see you back at the bar," I muttered retreating from my kick ass office. I walked through the corridors (to which I now _knew_ where they lead) to the exit. Then I remembered Denzel. _Crap_. I didn't want to go back to my office and wait for him because that would take me into a ten metre radius of Vinnie.

"Whoa aunt Yuffie!" speak of the devil, I almost walked straight into Denzel and Shane.

"Heya Denzel! You ok?" I asked, smiling.

"You bet! This place is _awesome_!" he grinned back.

"Thought you'd agree with me! Thanks for taking him Shane," I said.

"No problem," Shane replied.

"Hey Denzel, do you mind if we go home now?" I asked. I really don't want to hang around and risk bumping into Vince.

"Sure. What's up though?" Denzel asked. Doesn't miss an _inch_ that kid.

"Oh nothing...well I just kind of ran into Vincent," I admitted.

"_And_...?" Denzel prompted.

"And kind of went a little crazy at him," I mumbled.

"It will do him some good," Denzel announced. I smiled sheepishly.

"I hope so," I said somewhat anxiously. Jeesh! I needed to stop obsessing! Vinnie had it _coming_!

"You look like you could do with a drink, no offence," Shane declared.

"None taken. I think that's definitely what I could do with," I grinned back.

"Well, me and some others are going out for a few drinks later on if you want to join us, and let off a bit of steam," Shane said. He is so nice!

"What, _more_ steam than I _just_ let off whilst ranting at Vinnie?" I laughed, "Sounds good though. Count me in,"

"Great! I'll see you later then," Shane smiled.

Me and Denzel found the exit and started home.

"You know, I don't think Uncle Vincent will like..." Denzel started to say, and then trailed off.

"Like _what_?" I asked.

"Nothing," Denzel shook his head.

_Huh_?

OOO

I bought us some ice cream on the trek home, and Denzel told me where Shane had taken him, and what he had seen. We had just finished our ice creams when we heard a familiar roar.

"Cloud!" Denzel yelled. Cloud noticed us and pulled over. Fenrir snarled before shutting off.

"Hey Denzel, Yuffie. What are you in the middle of the city?"

"Yuffie took me to see her office," Denzel explained.

"Barret's come to see Marlene," I elaborated for him. He nodded.

"And Barret got a dog! It's _huge_!" Denzel added.

"Barret got a _dog_? What's it called?" Cloud asked curiously.

"Kitty," I answered, straight faced. He looked at me sceptically.

"He called it..._Kitty_?" he asked, not sounding like he believed me. I didn't blame him; a _dog_ called _Kitty_. Its got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.

"Yes. _Honestly_! Well, strictly speaking, _Marlene_ named her Kitty," I grinned.

"Ah, that explains it then," Cloud grinned.

"Yuffie taught me some hand to hand fighting as well!" Denzel announced.

"She did? Hang on...I thought you were working in the bar today," Cloud said.

"Well yeah, but Tifa put me in charge of Kitty, because that dog is one crazy Kitty..." I trailed of, confused by my own words.

"And Uncle Vincent and Shelke came back," Denzel put in. Cloud looked at me in a curious/concerned way.

"So you walked _miles_ across the city to the WRO head quarters," he stated in a tone that suggested _that makes sense-not_. I looked at my feet.

"Well you know how he gets when he gets back with Shelke. I can't stand it," I admitted. Cloud raised his eyebrow. I bet Tifa told him that I like Vincent...

"You want me to have a word?" he asked. Cloud was _such _a good friend and a great guy now he's got over himself, and got with Tifa. I love him loads. I really do. In a friendly, brother/sister way I mean.

"Well..." I started.

"She already did," Denzel piped up.

"Of course you did," Cloud chuckled.

"I kind of bit his head off as well," I said sheepishly.

"It'll do him good," Cloud grinned, still amused.

"That's what I said!" Denzel exclaimed. I smiled.

"You sure did. Cloud, Tifa will _kill_ you if you don't have a helmet," I told the swordsman.

"Have a little faith Yuffie. I wouldn't let him on without one," Cloud frowned, rummaging around in one of those compartments he has on Fenrir.

"A helmet for who?" Denzel asked.

"_You_ of course!" I grinned, pushing him towards Cloud who had found the helmet.

"What? Me? Really?" Denzel gasped, looking from me to Cloud.

"Sure. Well, if you want," Cloud shrugged, good humour gleaming in his eyes.

"Wow! Of course I do!" Denzel answered, securing the helmet, and hopping on behind Cloud. I don't think I'd ever seen a grin _that_ huge on that kids face before. He'd had a really good day though. Nyuk Nyuk. All because of _me_. Well, Barret and Vinnie _kind of_ as well...

Cloud started Fenrir up.

"See you back at the bar," I said, stepping back.

"Will you be ok?" Cloud asked.

"Psh! Course I will! I'm the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi!" I declared.

"Right, yeah, forgot who I was talking to," Cloud muttered.

"I _heard_ that!" I frowned, Cloud revved Fenrir, "Oh and Cloud, thanks,"

"Anytime Yuffie," and with that he sped off. That machine is damned noisy!

Tifa's done him real good.

OOO

I got back to the bar a while later, and went and took over my shift in the bar. After that I went and hung out in my room, ignoring the left over paperwork I had to do from the WRO, getting ready to go out instead. When I was ready I went out into the hall and walked towards the stairs when a door opened behind me.

"Yuffie,"

_Jebus_! I swear Vinnie could _teleport_ or something! When had he got in?

I turned as he walked towards me.

"Heya Vince," I said quietly. He was watching me again and again; it was that rare look I couldn't identify. Jeez, this was awkward. I didn't really know what to say; I know! Yuffie Kisaragi _speechless_! What had happened to the world?

Surprisingly, it was Vinnie who broke the silence.

"...You were right. What you said earlier,"

...

Ok, I didn't know _what_ he'd say but I didn't expect him to say _that_.

"I said a lot Vince," I mumbled.

"All if it you were right about," he answered.

"I'm right about _everything_ Vinnie," I smiled looking up. He smiled a little, looking...a bit _relieved_?

"I know,"

"I didn't mean to dump all of that on you," I told him, looking down again.

"Well, you should have," I suddenly found myself looking back up at him, one of his fingers under my chin, forcing me to look at him. His gaze was really intense for a moment, but then it faded, and he dropped his hand.

"I apologise for being so...pissy," he smirked. I giggled and let myself fall forward into his chest, wrapping an arm around him. He reciprocated the action.

"There's nothing to apologise for as long as you don't do it again," I said into his chest.

"I'll do my best not to," he promised. I pulled away.

"You'd better do _better_ that your best mister or I'll have to follow through with my threat and shove my shruiken up your ass," I threatened good humouredly.

"Yes Yuffie," he said, in mock submissiveness.

Then I realised that I was supposed to be going out.

"Well Vinnie, it's been nice chatting with you in this hallway, but I got to go," I smiled brightly at him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going...now that is a _very_ good question," I frowned, trying to remember where I was actually going, "opps. I forgot to ask _where_..."

Vinnie looked amused and kind of exasperated.

"Don't you even _think_ of rolling your eyes Vincent Valentine," I told him with narrowed eyes.

"_YUFFIE_! Shane's here!" Tifa suddenly yelled from the bar. I turned my head.

"COMING!" I shouted back, "Jeesh, I swear that guy is _always_ _one_ step ahead of me," I muttered.

"You're going out with Shane?" Vinnie asked in a suspicious kind of voice.

"Well, not _just_ Shane. Some other WRO people as well, and don't worry, I'm not going to get pissed out of my mind," I assured him.

"You'd better not," he frowned, looking...annoyed?

"Excuse me?" I asked, narrow eyed again. He may be sexy, and I may like him, but he'd better not be doing what I thought he was doing!

"..." he was still half glaring.

"Right, well _bye_ then," I turned to leave.

"Yuffie," what now? I turned back around. I was about to say 'yes Vinnie?' but I got...cut off. By...by him kissing me.

Now my definition of kiss is pressing your lips on someone, preferably the mouth. And that's what Vinnie was doing.

VINCENT VALENTINE WAS _KISSING_ ME! _KISSING_! _ME_! YUFFIE KISARAGI!

Ok, he didn't have an arm round me or anything and there wasn't any tongue action, but it wasn't just a peck on the lips either; there was definite lip action!

FOR THE LOVE OF LEVIATHAN THE MAN I HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON WAS KISSING ME!

It wasn't a very long kiss, but it felt like hours to me. When he pulled back, I just stood, blinking at him, still processing what had just happened. Then I realised what _had_ just happened and _blushed like I had never blushed before_.

"You just kissed me!" I accused intelligently.

"I did," he confirmed, looking at me with an expression looking suspiciously like laughter.

"But...You...I...What?" I stammered.

"Just an impulse," he said smoothly, before turning and walking back to his room with a definite smug smirk on his face.

I still stood there, in _shock_, still blushing. Vincent just kissed me. Vincent just kissed me.

I pressed my fingers to my still tingling lips. He just kissed me.

"YUFFIE!" Tifa yelled again. Oh, right Shane. Drinks. Bar.

I hurried down the stairs.

"Are you alright?" Tifa asked when she noticed my flushed face.

"Me? When am I not? I'm super dooper!" I said. She looked unconvinced, "Hiya Shane. Sorry about the wait. I'm ready now though,"

OOO

Gawd damnit! Vinnie Was such an idiot! I couldn't concentrate! All I could think about was that damn kiss! What had he meant by it? You don't just get an _impulse _to _kiss _some one! Well...you do...I got them all the time when I'm around Vinnie...but that's not the point!

"Are you ok Yuffie?" a girl I came with asked. Her names Penelope. She's dead nice. Dead pretty as well.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just some jerk kissed me before I came out and that's all I can think about," I half growled half sighed. She laughed.

"Sound like someone wanted to distract you,"

"Huh?" I asked.

"They knew you were going out right?" she asked.

"Uh-huh," I answered.

"Then maybe they did it so you would be thinking about it all evening and so couldn't think about any good looking blokes here," she gestured around. I noticed her glance lingered on Shane.

"Nah," I shook my head, because that just wasn't Vincent...was it? I shook my head again, clearing those thoughts, "he said he did it on impulse. However, someone needs to be getting somewhere around here. Let's make a plan for you to score Shane,"

"What?" she squealed, blushing.

"Your secrets safe with me," I laughed.

OOO

I got back to the bar late that night. I wasn't _completely_ hammered, but I was pleasantly...buzzed. I swore someone was on the roof when I unlocked the door because I saw a silhouette and a flash of gold...

I got myself some water and headed up the stairs, unintentionally crashing into something that had been put on the stairs to stop Kitty from getting into our rooms. It made a _very_ loud clatter when it hit the floor. Oh well, It wasn't my fault. Who puts something right in the way when they know someone was going to come in tipsy?

I stumbled down the hall way, and fumbled with the door knob. I paused to switch the glass to my other had when I heard something like a window shutting coming from the direction of Vinnie's room. Had he stayed up to make sure I got in safely? That was so sweet! See, there's a reason, right there, why I love him...

O

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I woke up the next morning with a moderate head ache. I lay there listening to the normal early morning sounds. One sound in particular caught my attention; the back doors closing.

I abruptly threw off the covers, and scrambled to my window, opening it. Sure enough, there was Vinnie and Shelke, walking up the street.

"HEY! VINNIE!" I yelled, wincing at the loud noise. He stopped and turned around, "WATCH OUT FOR THOSE TREES!"

I could have sworn I saw him smile.

* * *

**_Woot! And thats the tenth chapter done! What did you think? Did you like it? Was it a christmas treat?_**

**_By the way, the whole Kitty the dog thing? My sister had a friend who had a dog called Kitty, and I remember laughing when she told me about it, so I put it in._**

**_I bet you liked the kiss! Yuffentine fan probably do as kissing between Vincent and Yuffie usually means Yuffentine goodness! I'm not sure if I wrote it very well...but hey, I'm not writing from experience here._**

**_Right, I'm off to bed now, because the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I will wake up and can open Christmas presents! oh and by the way, if you want to give me a present, write me a review! talking of updates, I'll try and update again in the christmas holidays!_**

**_I have 98 reviews so far, so please, lets get it to 100! that will make my Christmas!_**

**_Have a great christmas everyone, and thanks for reading, and possibly reviewing, alerting, or favoriting!_**


	11. Inconvenient Illnesses

_**hiya everyone! i'm so sorry i haven't updated in so long, as i said i would try and get something up for new year, but yeah. didn't happen. i've been pretty busy, and i had some upsetting news, but i finally finished writing it, and got it posted.**_

_**thankyou so much to the 24 people who reviewed the last chapter! i love you all so much! **_

_**again, like the last chapter, this was one of the original chapters i have planned for this story. anyway i'll shut up now as this chapter is long enough without this making it even longer...enjoy!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: *sigh* i obviously don't own any of the characters otherwise i wouldn't be writing this whole fanfic would i?**_

* * *

I was _exhausted_. Completely and utterly _exhausted_. I was walking back to the bar, back to Midgar in fact. Instead of skipping merrily through the fields of long grass as the sun rose, I trudged drearily on. I had taken a load of WRO soldiers on a mission; eradicating an area of monsters. Simple. _Not_. They _whined_, they _moaned_, they were pathetically wimpy...I ending up killing practically _all_ the monsters _myself_, hence my exhaustion, and the many cuts, scrapes, scabs and bruises I was covered in. I usually go on missions with Vinnie (we know exactly how to work together and constantly watched each other's backs.) The WRO soldiers only watched their _own_ backs (they had a lot to learn), and I had to watch _their_ backs as well. No one had been covering _me_.

Vinnie has been gone for months. Like, _months_. I had been _so_ worried! I had had one brief text which told me _absolutely_ _nothing_ and I presume, as he had been sending texts, that he was alive. This was why I has lead the soldiers on my own; my usual partner wasn't here, and there wasn't anyone who could come with me. I'd been working lots for Reeve in the past few months to keep me busy; working at the bar gives me _entirely too much_ time to think, and think about a _certain gunslinger_, where this _certain gunslinger_ was, and if this _certain gunslinger_ was ok...

Stupid _jerk_. He isn't good for my health! Literally as well as metaphorically! I've got a really deep claw wound on my side because of him!

Sighing, I paused, letting my fatigued body rest a second. I lay down and decided to just have a rest till the sun was properly up. I'd left the crappy inn I has stay at an hour before dawn. I had no medical supplies (the WRO soldiers, if you can call them that, kept wittering about not having their own so I gave them mine to shut them up) and neither did the inn because it was so remote that hardly anyone came to stay. _Lucky_ me.

I didn't mean to kind of doze off. Well I didn't even do that really. It was just...cat napping. I was still _half_ aware of what was going on around me. Which was nothing. Until a shadow fell over me. It took me a second to realise it.

When I did I sat bolt upright.

Two figures stood there. On tall one, and one short one. The sun had well and truly risen by then.

"Oh my gawd!" I screamed at Shelke and Vinnie, "you scared the crap out of me! And where in Da Chao's stone freaking balls have you been?" I demanded.

"...around," Vincent answered hesitantly. I stared at him.

"You've been away for _months_, and you've just been _around_," I stated, hysteria threatening to break through.

"Well...yes," he replied.

"Right...while me and everyone else wondered where the hell you were and if you were ok. Yep, sounds about right," I hissed angrily.

"Yuffie...I apologise for causing you all this worry," he said in quietly in that soothing monotone of his. It did _not_hing to sooth me.

"Worry? Who said I was worried about you?" I bristled. I was pissed at him. Who wouldn't be?

"...Your reaction," he answered. I glared, trying to think of a believable excuse.

Damn, I couldn't think of one!

"Fine! I _was_ worried! But that's because I _care_ Vincent! And you have been gone for months, sending _one,_ freaking text that told me _zilch_!" I retorted.

"I am sorry Yuffie," he looked sincere. I frowned. I _would_ stay mad at him!

"Psh, you're only saying that to get back into my good books," I scowled.

"I'm in your bad books then," he stated with a hint of humour. I snorted.

"No! You completely _obliterated_ the meaning of my '_bad books'_ when you _sped_ past it!" I seethed. He makes me so mad sometimes! "You're in my really..._really_..." I struggled to find the right word.

"...Bad?" Shelke suggested. I glanced at her.

"Bad, thank you Shelke. You're in my really, _really_ _bad_ books!" I accused him.

"And what can I do to get back into your 'good books'?" Vinnie asked, eyebrows raised.

"You...I...I'll inform you when can think of a suitable form of repayment," I frowned, not being able to think of anything. Well...I wouldn't have minded another kiss, but that would have raised questions.

Anyway, shouldn't it be _him_ thinking of something?

"I will eagerly anticipate that day you choose to enlighten me with that knowledge," Oh speak English will you! "And if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?"

"I...I took an early morning walk," I snapped. He doesn't need to know I was on a mission.

"You look...battered Yuffie Kisaragi," Shelke stated. Damn girl. Why couldn't she just stay silent instead of raising _more_ questions for me to answer?

"I...I got into a fight with a thorn bush," I quickly gestured to my snagged clothing. Vinnie didn't look very convinced.

"Really?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

"Yes really! Stupid vampire!" I muttered the last part which he glared at, effectively distracting him. He hates it when I call him vamp, vampy, bloodsucker, coffin boy, and especially vampire. But he knows I'm usually pretty bad mood when I do call him it.

I saw Shelke glance at my injured side, her gaze flickering to my face. I shook my head slightly, begging her not to tell Vincent. She looked at me a second longer before sticking out a hand. Gratefully I grasped it and she pulled me up.

"Thanks Shelke," I said, more than one meaning meant for her. She nodded slightly. Maybe she's not so bad after all.

"Right, I'm off back to the bar," I announced, turning so Vinnie couldn't see my wound, and keeping my arm glued to my side just in case.

We all headed back to the bar, me struggling to keep at a normal pace. I was still _so_ tired...

When I really begun to feel faint, I noticed Shelke lagging with me, but more noticeably. Vinnie turned his head to her questioningly.

"Just tired from our travels Vincent Valentine," she stated. I _really_ need to rethink my opinion of her...

"Well there's no need to rush," I stated, hoping my words weren't slurred.

We finally got back to the bar, and I really thought I was going to collapse. My injury needed attention, and I was really tired, no joke.

"Yuffie! I've been so worried!" Tifa immediately pounced on me.

"I called you last night Teef," I muttered tiredly. She noticed. Vinnie also noticed the 'last night' bit.

"Are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," I answered. Then she noticed Vinnie and Shelke.

"AND WHERE IN ALL OF GAIA HAVE YOU BEEN?" she practically yelled. Wait, no, she did yell. There was a tiny part of me that pitied Vinnie right now, but it was his own fault for been away so long with no word.

No one noticed me slip upstairs.

"Hey aunt Yuffie! Where have you been? Are you ok?" Marlene said.

"You're back!" Denzel yipped.

"Vincent and Shelke are as well," I said.

"They are?"

"EEEPPP!" I yelped as Denzel accidentally elbowed my injury.

"Denzel! Aunt Yuffie! You're hurt!" Marlene exclaimed.

"It's nothing," I insisted, staggering into the bathroom and sitting down on the covered toilet seat. I pressed my hands against the three deep, sharp cuts.

"Can I get you anything?" Marlene asked.

"Um, could you get me a cloth and some bandages Marlene?" she nodded, "thanks," I hadn't got a cure materia on me. She scuttled out, and I leant back and closed my eyes. So tired...

"...Blood! Lots of blood!" Denzel's panicked voice can from downstairs. Bugger. I bet he accidentally reopened the barely healed cuts. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs; the cat was out of the bag now.

Someone pushed my hands away from the gashes.

"...how?" a kind of angry voice demanded. Vincent's kind of angry voice. Angry because I had not told him I was wounded. I sighed.

"Inexperienced WRO soldiers. I practically killed every monsters myself. Had to cover all their backs," I mumbled.

"Who was covering yours?" he asked. I opened my eyes. He was knelt next to me, wiping the blood away with a damp cloth Marlene had handed him. I stayed silent, but he knew my answer. He looked up and locked eyes.

"Why?" he asked, frustrated. Probably with himself.

"There wasn't anyone to go with me," I mumbled again, hoping he wasn't blaming himself, because I was too tired to kick his ass if he was.

He took out his own cure materia and healed the claw wounds himself. Then without any warning, scooped me up bridal style.

"Vinnie! I can walk!" I protested.

"Really?" he asked.

"Well, maybe not," I sighed, letting myself sink into his arms. Marlene opened my bedroom door, and Vinnie set me on my bed.

"Get some rest before you pass out. And I want to know exactly what happened later," he told me. _I_ want to know why _he_ didn't text me, or answer _my_ calls but I doubt _he'll_ tell _me_.

"Vinnie?" I asked, just as he reached the door. He turned, "You're still a jerk you know," I told him.

"I know. And Yuffie? Please don't lie to me. Especially when you're hurt," he said softly. Damn him! How does he have the ability to make me feel bad, even when I have plenty of reason to be mad at him?

OOO

When I woke up, it was about dark outside. I sat up, and realised I was ragingly thirsty, so I pushed off my covers and trekked downstairs into the kitchen which was in darkness except for the moonlight slinking in through the window. Cloud and Tifa were sitting at the table.

"Heya Yuffie. How are you doing?" Tifa asked, smiling.

"Good," I rasped.

"You don't sound it," Cloud said with raised eyebrows, "I've heard you've been through the wars,"

"Hardly. I just need some water," I rasped again, filling up a pint glass, and then gulping it down like no tomorrow.

"Whoa! Steady on Yuffs!" Tifa exclaimed.

"...She's dehydrated from loss of blood,"

I choked on my water, coughing and spluttering in surprise.

"Jebus Vince-_cough_-you keep coming-_cough_- out of no-_cough_-where! Can you-_cough_- teleport or something? _Cough_"

"It would be easier to keep you out of trouble if I could,"

"I've had worse! Jeesh! Why are you making a big deal out of it?" I frowned.

"..."

"Fine. Be that way," I turned to Cloud and Tifa who were watching me and Vinnie interestedly, like we were some animals from one of those wildlife programmes that David Attenborough narrates, "are you all set for tomorrow?"

They're going away together for a few days. And like _normal_ people! They're not going on some odd, overly loud bike, or that bag of bolts Cid calls an airship. They're going in a _car_!

"Yeah. We loaded the car while you were out like a light earlier," Cloud answered.

"Are you sure you'll be okay? I mean especially when you've been wounded-" Tifa started. I cut her off.

"Oh for the love of Leviathan! I'm fine! It happens when your job is running around killing of monster twice the size of you that also want to kill you! It's inevitable!" I cried, "Look, Teef, I'm fine. When I wake up tomorrow I'll be back to normal; I just need a bit more sleep okay? I'll manage the bar and the kids, so stop your worrying, and go and have a break. You deserve it after all the work in the bar and looking after the kids on your own,"

"Where have you been?" Vinnie spoke up. _Whoops_.

"She's been helping Reeve out with WRO work," Cloud answered.

"...Why?" because you're a _jerk_ and working at the bar gives me time to think about how _damn much I miss you_!

"He needed help alright! Sheesh, what Is this? Hundred and one questions?" I answered instead, rolling my eyes, "Anyway mister, _my_ _go_, why the hell didn't you call or text any of us to let us know that you were ok?" I asked indignantly, "You said before you went that you would!"

"No, I said I would stop being pissy when I got back," he defended.

"Texting and calling was _inclusive_ with the whole not being pissy thing!" I shot back.

"You never said that,"

"It goes without saying!"

"Clearly not. And I called Cloud,"

...

"CLOUD? Why CLOUD?"

"I presumed he would tell you all I was fine,"

"Why in the _world_ would you presume _that_? _Cloud's_ as bad as _you_ are when it comes to _communication_!"

"Hey!" Cloud interjected.

"Shut it Spikey! You know it's true! Me and Tifa are on _excellent_ terms with your _voicemail machines_!" I pointed accusingly at both of the offending males. Tifa nodded in response of my accusations.

"Why didn't you say Vincent had called you?" Tifa asked Cloud.

"I was busy! I forgot! I presumed that he'd call you guys as well!" Cloud defended himself.

"Right, so this is all just a _misunderstanding_ of _presumption_," I said in a flat tone, not at all convinced or impressed, "_You_ thought _he'd_ tell _us_, but _you_ thought _he'd_ tell _us_," I gestured to the relevant people. They both nodded and answered at the same time.

"...Yes,"

"Yeah!"

"Right," Tifa said, sounding _very_ enthused. NOT.

"Whatever," I muttered, making myself a sandwich.

"Hungry?" Cloud asked, eyebrows raised. I nodded.

"Haven't eaten properly in days," I took a bite of my snack.

"Why not?" Tifa asked.

"Damn soldiers didn't give me a minute's peace. Every single second they were whining and complaining about something or another,"

"What was the problem with them?" Cloud asked. This is his kind of thing if you get me; he was the leader of Avalanche, so he's always curious about stuff like this.

"Teamwork. They just wouldn't work together! They were like infants! 'Ohh, he's a _guy_, he's got _cooties_!' 'But she's a _girl_!' I swear to Leviathan! None of us did that!"

"You didn't want to team up with Vincent," Cloud contradicted.

"Yeah, but because he was a _vampire_, not because he was _male_," I countered.

"...I am not a vampire," Vincent spoke up, scowling.

"If you say so," I smiled.

"I am not," he frowned. My natural response was-

"Are to,"

"Why am I?" he asked.

"Well first off, we found you in a _coffin_, and secondly you _dress_ like one-"

"I will stop dressing 'like a vampire' when you admit that you're downright terrified of spiders,"

"I am NOT afraid of spiders!"

"There you are then,"

"_Jerk_," I muttered. Tifa was giggling, and Cloud was shaking his head in amusement.

"_What_?" I asked indignantly.

"You two haven't changed a bit," Cloud commented.

"Excuse me? We _so_ have! For one thing, Vinnie's not an _emo_-_vamp_ anymore, just a _vamp_-"

"For the last time, I am not a vampire!" Vinnie exclaimed.

"_Denial_," I mouthed to the laughing Cloud and Tifa. Vinnie straitened up, probably to tell me just why he wasn't a vampire, but suddenly did something very un-Vincent-ish. He sneezed. _Sneezed_. He has _never_ sneezed before. Because he is immortal he is immune to illnesses and stuff. I wonder...if he's getting ill, does that mean his mortality is returning?

"Are you ok?" I asked him, concerned. Cloud and Tifa don't seem to have noticed anything.

"I'm fine," he answered, his face not betraying anything.

"You sure? You just _sneezed_. You _never_ sneeze," ok, that sounded completely ridiculous out loud...

Vinnie must have been thinking the same thing, because he was smirking.

I shook my head and announced "I'm going back to sleep," I must still be recuperating if I am making comments that are _stupid_, because _I_ don't make comments that are _stupid_ because I am a _ninja_ and a _great_ _ninja_ at that, and _ninjas_, especially _great_ ones, don't make _stupid_ comments because they are the very _essence_ of _awesomeness_.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Tifa asked. Sheesh! She is such a worry wart!

"Yes Tifa! Now stop your worrying!" I exclaimed. She smiled ruefully.

"Okay then. Hey Vincent, are you back to stay now?" he'd _better_ be. My Vinnie-time is _very _over due.

He nodded in response to Tifa's question, "You'll help Yuffie we the kids and the bar and the house and everything won't you?" he nodded again.

Jeesh! I am perfectly capable! Why wouldn't I be? I am a _ninja_, and _a great ninja_ at that and _ninjas_, especially great ninjas, are the very _essence of awesomeness-_

"Right that settled then. Night Yuffie," or in other words, 'dismissed'. I slowly turned and trudged back to my room.

I could have sworn I heard Vinnie sneeze again...

OOO

I woke up to the buzz of my alarm the next day. It was seven o'clock, to early, but my duty of the kids, bar and house were now in my hands as Tifa and Chocobo had left even earlier. I woke the kids up for school, and went and had a super quick shower. I made the kids breakfast and sorted them out for school. They left to go and catch the school bus.

Yawning, I went and readied the bar for business; seriously, how does Teef do this every day? I'm struggling to stay awake on just _one_ day, let alone a _few days_, let alone _everyday_! And so much for Vinnie _helping_ me! He's still in bloody _bed_! Lucky bugger!

By ten o'clock, Shelke was up, but Vinnie _still_ wasn't, which is usual for him... usually the very _latest_ he gets up in nine. Maybe he was really tired from his travelling?

"Hey Shelke? Would you mind minding the bar a minute? Just call me if someone comes in,"

She nodded.

"Thanks," I said gratefully, before scurrying up the stairs. I knocked on Vinnie's door. There was no reply. I knocked again.

"Vince?" I asked. There was still no reply, so I hesitantly went in. And froze.

He was still in bed. Asleep. _But he had no shirt on._ And the _freaking_ blankets only came up to his _gawd damn hips_.

_Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit._

I knew I was blushing. _Strongly_. How could I not? I know I say Vinnie is sexy, but _holy Leviathan_, I didn't know he was sexy _on this scale._ Sure, he had loads of scars, a jagged X standing out the most from where Rosso had _reached into his chest and pulled the proto-materia out_-I had never been _so_ scared in my _life_ when I saw _that_ happen- and a bullet mark where Hojo shot him in the chest and various others, but _boy_, he had _muscles as well_...abs, biceps...oh _gawd_!

The fact that his midnight back hair was splayed across the pillow, loose from its usual red bandana was not helping the whole too-sexy-to-look-at-without-wanting-to-run-your-hands-all-over-him thing...

I forced myself to stop staring-_and_ _fantasising_- and walk up to his slumbering form. He was really pale. I mean way more than he usually is.

"Vinnie?" I tried to rouse him. "_Vinnie_!" I put my hand on his shoulder, and nearly ripped it back off from the sensation of touching his _bare_ skin, and the fact that it was _really hot_.

I'm surprised he didn't rip my hand off; he usually does when someone touches him when he's asleep. Instead, his eyelids flickered, and he opened them blearily.

"...Yuffie? Wha's the time? " he asked, in a slurred kind of voice. Jebus, what's wrong with him?

"You're burning up Vince. I don't think you're well," I said worriedly, my hand on his forehead. It was warmer than it should have been.

" 'm fine," he mumbled, attempting to sit up. As soon as he moved his eyes snapped shut, and his hand flew to his head.

"No, you're not," I said firmly, pushing him back down, "You're tired, got a fever, and by the looks of it, a head ache. You're not going _anywhere_. I'm going to go get you some water and painkillers. Stay there,"

I rushed downstairs and got the said items, and brought them back up to him. He hadn't moved, and was lying down with closed eyes.

"Vinnie," I called softly. He slowly opened his eyes, and I sat on the edge of his bed, "Take these," he sat up slowly, his blankets falling to the waist band of his sleeping pants, revealing even more of those magnificent abs that I just wanted to run my hands over. _Banishing those kind of thoughts_, I handed him the water and tablets, and he took them. I placed the glass on his bedside table and he closed his eyes again.

"How do you feel?" I asked, wanting to know exactly what was wrong, "and don't lie," I added.

"...headache. Sore throat. Drowsy. My limbs seem achy,"

"Sounds like the flu. Go back to sleep. I'll come back up and check on you soon," I murmured. He nodded slightly. With one last glance at him, I left the room and went back downstairs to the bar.

"Is Vincent Valentine okay?" Shelke asked.

"I think he's got the flu. He just needs rest," I answered. She nodded.

"I have to go to the WRO head quarters Yuffie Kisaragi. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine. You go. Say hi to Reeve for me," I answered and she left. With nothing to do except watch people drink, I went and washed up the breakfast dishes trying to ignore the image of Vincent with no shirt on...AND STOP FANTASISING ABOUT IT!

OOO

After a few more time consuming chores, I went up and checked on Vinnie. He was asleep, his soft breathing filling the room. He sounded like he had a congested chest. I placed my hand lightly on his forehead, careful not to wake him, to check if his temperature, which was still abnormally high. He shifted slightly under my hand. I switched his water for some fresh, and with nothing else to do, I went back to the bar.

I checked on him throughout the day, but he stayed asleep with a temperature. The bar remained pretty quiet, as it would until the-after-work-hours. I soon grew bored, being unable to leave the house, but having nothing to do in it.

"Hey Aunt Yuffie!" Marlene and Denzel hollered as they came in through the back door after school.

"SHHHH!" Gawd, I sounded like a _librarian_! "Vinnie's asleep. He's not very well,"

"What wrong with him?" Marlene asked, immediately worried.

"Flu I think. He just needs some rest Marly. So you two leave him be ok?" I asked sternly. They both nodded, "Alright then, go get changed out of your uniforms,"

After that, the bar got busier and busier. I juggled making the kids dinner and tending to the bar. Shelke got back and helped Marlene and Denzel with their homework, as the bar was too busy for me to leave it.

"Denzel!" I called from the bar as he got a drink from the kitchen, "can you take a glass of water up to Vincent please?"

"Sure," he called back.

"Thanks Denny boy!"

OOO

I eventually finished in the bar at one in the morning. I honestly don't know how Tifa managed on her own for the past couple of months, because I barely managed one night. I was starving, really thirsty, and very tired. I grabbed a sandwich and some water before going upstairs. I checked on Marlene and Denzel, who were both sound asleep. Next I went and checked on Vinnie, who was also sound asleep. Time for me to hit the sack as well. I was just turning to go when I heard him start coughing. Frowning, I turned back around and headed over to his coughing, shifting form.

"Oh Vinnie..." I murmured, rubbing his back, trying to ignore ignoring the fact that it was _bare_. _Those_ kind of thoughts would _NOT _help the situation.

His coughing caused his eyes to flicker open, and to sit up right. I continued to rub his back as he continued to cough. When he stopped, I passed his water to him.

"...Thanks," he rasped.

"You okay?" well, _duh_, he _obviously wasn't_, "Sorry, that was a stupid question," I mumbled, grinning ruefully. Then noticed how close we were sitting. If I leant forward I could kis-

"I didn't wake you did I?" he asked, in the same, quiet, sore-throat-kind-of-voice.

"No. I just finished up in the bar," I reassured him, hoping he couldn't see the blush which was spreading across my face from _whatever_ _the frick I had just though_t.

"You look tired," he commented. _That_ would be because I _was_.

"Vinnie! You don't go round telling a girl that!" I joked. He smiled a bit, "I'm fine. I spent all of yesterday sleeping remember," I didn't want him worrying about me "just concentrate on getting better, 'kay?"

He nodded.

"Is there anything you want?" I asked him, brushing the hair away from his face to feel his forehead again. Is seems warmer than it was...

"No thanks Yuffie. Just go t' sleep," he said hoarsely.

"You to," I smiled, getting up, removing my hand from his back that I had unconsciously left there. I refilled his water in case he needed some more in the night. He was already dozing when I set the glass back down.

"Night Vincent," I whispered before leaving.

OOO

The next day, I got up the same as I had the day before. Early. I got the kids feed and ready for school, and sent them off. Then I went and checked on Vinnie. He had been coughing more in the night. I went into his room, and I could tell immediately that he was worse. He was even paler than before if possible, his breathing was shallower, and he was caught in a state of sleep, and half awareness. His midnight black hair was sticking to the side of his face, but I could see him shivering from chills. I felt his forehead, and it was practically BURNING beneath my palm.

I went and fetched some medicine, then roused him.

"Vincent," He opened his eyes, but looked very disorientated, squinting at me from his headache, "Take this, it'll help,"

I gave him the medicine and water, and pulled his covers up. If he had the chills, it wouldn't help him to have them down by his waist. His state of..._undress_ wasn't helping _me_ either...

Next I went and dampened a flannel, and held it on his forehead to try and bring his temperature down. He was dozing lightly again, so I sat with him for a while, stroking his hair to help him sleep.

When I could no longer put off opening the bar, I got up. He had fallen asleep properly now. Instinct took over, and I swiftly leant down and pressed I light kiss to his forehead. He probably hadn't even felt it, but I blushed even so as I left him to open the bar.

I was taking some stuff upstairs a few hours later when I heard retching from the bathroom. Dumping the stuff, I hurried into the bathroom to find Vinnie slumping onto the floor in his pyjama pants, leaning back against the bath with his eyes closed.

Should seeing Vinnie so ill be screwing me up? Because it was...he just looks so..._vulnerable_. And that _so_ isn't right. He's _Vinnie_. Solid, indestructible, _Vinnie_.

"C'mon Vincent," I said, crouching down beside him and wrapping an arm around his waist to help him up. I felt a blush appearing as my hand brushed his really, _really_ toned stomach.

He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like: "Lemme' be,"

My heart went out for him. I brushed his hair from his face and looked at him. He opened his eyes reluctantly.

"Vincent, I know you're really tired, and I know you're feeling _really_ crappy, but you can't be comfortable sitting there, so please get up? For me?" I appealed. With a sigh, he started to get up. I tightened my hold on his waist, and adjusted the arm he had put round my shoulders slightly. I stood up slowly with him, and stopped myself staggering from the sudden weight of him leaning heavily on me. We made our way slowly back to his room, and I settled him back into his bed before going to clean up the bathroom and bringing a damp flannel to wipe his face with.

He watched me through half lidded eyes as I did this. I pushed his damp hair away from his eyes; I understand why he wears that bandana now... I had just finished the task when I heard someone from the bar calling.

"Sorry Vinnie," I sighed. I got up to leave and turned when I felt him grab my hand. I turned back around.

"Yuffie...thank you," his sore throat only allowed him to whisper. I smiled, and squeezed his hand.

"You're welcome Vincent...you always are," I whispered back. I saw a surprise flicker across his face from what I said. But I didn't care. I _wanted_ him to know that I cared about him in that moment.

I put the radio on an hour later because I couldn't stand the silence. There weren't many people on the bar, Vinnie was sleeping fitfully upstairs, and I was on my own, so it was really quiet. I unconsciously started singing along with the songs while I did the daily chores. The kids would be back soon, and the bar would start jazzing up soon as well, so I did the logical thing and started making their dinner early; that way I could leave it to warm in the oven then just pull it out and dish it up whenever.

And get busy it did. I went to bed as late as I had done the previous night. I checked on Vinnie before I hit the hay, but he was fast asleep. This surprised me; usually when you have the flu you have trouble getting to sleep, and staying asleep. But I didn't realise he had been listening to me singing which had helped lull him into a peaceful sleep.

OOO

The next day was the same as the previous one. However when I checked on Vinnie his forehead didn't seem as hot beneath my palm, and he ate the soup I brought him up.

I was just coming out after checking on him when I ran into Shelke.

"Hey Shelke," I greeted.

"Hello Yuffie Kisaragi," she replied, "Is Vincent Valentine better?"

"He seems to be a bit. But he needs rest," I answered.

"I have to give him this paperwork," she said, motioning to the files in her hand, I frowned.

"No. He needs rest," I disagreed

"Reeve-"

"I'll answer to Reeve," I interrupted. If that paper work was in Vinnie's room, he would feel inclined to do it, because he's a dork, and doesn't leave things last minute like I do. I bet he was a right teacher's pet at school...

Shelke seemed to realise that there was no use arguing or anything, so she nodded and we both headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Want a sandwich?" I offered. I was making myself one because I wouldn't have time to have dinner later on. She nodded.

"Thank you Yuffie Kisaragi," I think she's getting more...sociable. Well better with people anyway. Before, she would have refused. Maybe it's travelling with Vinnie. Maybe that _why_ she travels with Vinnie. He's not exactly hard to be with if you're not sociable, and the travelling would help her adapt...

"Whatever you said before we left to Vincent Valentine has helped him," she suddenly stated.

"What do you mean?" I asked, taken aback.

"He was more talkative while we were travelling. And he missed being here. And missed you," she answered. I was speechless as I handed her her sandwich. He had missed here? Does that mean he regards this as home now? And had missed me? Does that mean I'm kind of home as well?

"He's moving on and adjusting Yuffie Kisaragi," Shelke informed me.

"So are you," I smiled to her. And you know what? She gave me the smallest smile back.

OOO

The next day, Vinnie's temperature had decreased much more. His cough didn't seem as violent, and he had regained some of his colour; he was looking better all round.

I on the other hand, was not, getting more tired by the hour from juggling the busy bar, looking after the kids, Vinnie and the house. It was Friday, so the bar was even busier. I collapsed into bed that night, my eyes closing as soon as my head had hit the pillow.

I got a couple of hours longer in bed the next morning (which didn't really make a difference considering I had gone to bed and hour later the night before) as I didn't have to get the kids up for school. When I got up, I was the _only_ one up. I checked on Vinnie before I went downstairs, and I could see he was almost back to normal. He'd probably be fine by tomorrow.

Yawning, I made myself some coffee. I never usually have coffee (well, Cloud, Tifa and Vinnie don't _let_ me have it, because I get _almost_ as hyper as I do like if I had taken HAPPY PILLS, and we know what happens when I have HAPPY PILLS) but I was exhausted, and needed to wake myself up. I went and got the bar ready (I _HATED_ the place by now), and tried to stop myself glaring at the customers.

At around mid day, I was hurriedly washing glasses when Marlene and Denzel shuffled in.

"Aunt Yuffie, we're bored," they complained, "will you come play with us?"

"Sorry kids. The bars real busy and I got hundred and one other things to do. You're gonna' have to entertain yourselves," I said hurriedly, rushing back into the bar.

I walked into the kitchen an hour or so later and froze. It looked like it had _thrown itself up_. There was flour _everywhere_, a puddle of milk on the floor, a sticky, substance dripping from the ceiling, and cracked egg shells littering the counters, the yolk and white dripping from them. Marlene and Denzel were stood in the thick of it.

I closed my eyes. I could _not_ _deal with this right now_.

Letting out a shaky breath, I opened my eyes.

"Marlene, Denzel, could you please explain the mess, and what you're doing?" I asked, trying to keep my tone steady.

"We're baking a cake!" Marlene exclaimed.

"You said to entertain our selves so that's what we're doing!" Denzel beamed. I sighed tiredly.

"Look, I know you're bored, but I'm _completely_ exhausted, and I've got _no_ time to do the things I need to because the bar needs my _constant_ attention, _as well as_ the usual chores around the house, and on top of _that_, I have to _somewhere_ fit checking on Vincent in. I know I promised we'd have fun, but I didn't count on Vincent being ill. It's not his fault, but it is my responsibility to look after him, you, the house and the bar, and I've _barely_ got the time to do that, _let alone_ the time to clean this up, so will you _please_ find something else to do!" I said, hysteria breaking through. They both looked guiltily at their feet.

"Sorry Aunt Yuffie," they muttered.

"I promise tomorrow I'll shut the bar and take you out, but please, just find something else to do until then," I pleaded. They nodded.

"Right, can once of you go see if Vincent wants anything and the other go fetch the mop," I asked. They left to do as I had asked.

OOO

Three in the morning I trudged upstairs, struggling to keep my eyes open. I got ready for bed but went to check on Vinnie before I allowed myself to sleep. I padded into his room where he was sleeping, but as I opened his door, his eyes flickered open.

"Sorry Vinnie. I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered.

"...Don't worry," his voice sounded normal again. I walked over to his bed, and sat down heavily on the floor.

"Sorry I didn't get to come up and see if you were okay today Vince," I said in the same, tired whisper.

"Don't apologise Yuffie. You had enough to deal with," he murmured.

"I was _supposed_ to be looking after you," I mumbled, letting my eyes close. Just for a moment...

"You have been," he murmured again, "and you've worn yourself out doing so. You've had enough to do without me burdening myself as well,"

"You're never I burden Vinnie," I whispered to him, my words starting to slur slightly. Silence reigned for a while and I could tell from it that Vinnie was mulling that statement over.

"...You can't be comfortable like that," he said after a while, breaking the silence.

"Trust me, I can think of lot of more uncomfortable positions right now," I mumbled. I don't think I had the _strength_ to move.

An arm suddenly fastened itself around my waist and hoisted me up onto the bed. I barely registered the fact that I was lying next to _Vincent_ on _his_ bed with his _arm_ around me. I just pushed myself back, further into his chest, and let myself scum to sleep.

OOO

When I woke up, I found myself in a _very_ agreeable situation. Possibly the _most_ agreeable situation I have _ever_ woken up in.

Two, _very_, VERY muscled arms were around me, and there was a _very_, VERY toned chest pressed against my back. One of the said arms was metallic, which could only mean that it was Vinnie's arms and chest. Well, Barret had a metallic arm as well, but the thought of been snuggled up to him is just, well, _eww_.

I opened my eyes to see that they were indeed Vinnie's arms. One of them was draped over my waist, and the other going under it. I felt extremely peaceful. I could feel Vinnie's breath fluttering my hair, still asleep. I wanted to just savour the moment.

I slowly moved my hand, and gently reached for a lock of Vinnie's hair that had fallen across the side of my face, twirling it around my fingers softly. I just wanted this moment to last forever, lust lying in Vinnie's arms...

Jeesh that sounded soppy. But it was true. It was just such a serene moment...so nice after the hustle and bustle of the bar. And of course because I was in _Vincent Valentine's arms_. _Vincent Valentine love of my life's arms._

Quickly and quietly, I shifted, so I was facing the other way, snuggling into his chest. I felt his arms tighten around me as he stirred. _Damn, _why can't I wake up like this _every day_?

"...Yuffie?" he asked sleepily.

"Mmm?"

"Nothing," Shelke was right. He is more talkative. He would have used to just '...' in response.

"You're warm," I mumbled into his chest, snuggling even further. I think my _face_ was warm.

He detached his arm and pulled up the covers before replacing it again. I found one of my fingers absently tracing the X on his chest.

"I was so scared when you got that," I said softly, also absently. I felt him shift underneath my finger, so I let my hand drop, and fell back to sleep.

When I woke up again, Vinnie wasn't there. I pouted when I realised this, and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I could hear his shower going, and realised that that was _obviously_ where he was.

I climbed out of his bed (this thought making me flush slightly) and went into my own room to get dressed, and then padded downstairs.

Marlene and Denzel came down soon later as well.

"What are you making aunt Yuffie?" Denzel asked, yawning.

"Pancakes of course!" I grinned. I am in a _very_ good mood. Can you think why?

I tipped some of the mixture into the frying pan while Marlene and Denzel sat down eagerly at the table. My pancakes are _awesome_. Actually, I tend to be _great_ at making _my_ favourite foods...

"Who wants the first one?" I asked.

"Oh memememe!"

"I bagsy it!"

"...I do,"

Everyone said at once. The last one made me jump. Oh _come on_; he _must_ be able to teleport.

"Jebus Vinnie! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I demanded. He just smirked, leaning against the counter in his usual attire (minus the cloak) fortunately. Or unfortunately depending how you look at it...

"Flip it aunt Yuffie!" The rugrats urged. My face twisted into a frown.

"But that would be a waste," I complained. I kind of can't flip pancakes...

"Why?" they asked. I sighed.

"Alright. I'll let you I on a _big_ secret; I know I said I could do _everything_, but there is in fact _one_ thing I can't do. And that's flip a pancake," I admitted. Marlene gasped and Denzel snickered.

One of the things I could do though, because of my awesome ninja skills, was detect someone standing very close behind me. So close their breath fluttered my hair. My body stiffen as a hand closed around one I was holding on the frying pan handle, lifting it up, and jerking it making the pancake flip and land perfectly back into the pan.

Marlene and Denzel cheered, and I laughed to cover up my total shock over WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED.

I gave Vinnie the first pancake of course.

"No-one makes pancakes like you do Aunt Yuffie," Marlene sighed, staring and Vinnie's enviously. For that comment, I gave her the next one. Who wouldn't?

OOO

After breakfast, I did the chores, while Vinnie went and did the paperwork I had kept from him. Like I said, he's a right _dork_. Whereas _me_? Good old fashioned last minute!

When I had finished I told Marlene and Denzel to get ready to go out as I had promised. I shoved some junk food into a bag, and went to put my boots on. I stuck my head around Vinnie's door.

"I'm going to take the kids out for a walk. Do you want to come?" I offered. I bet he can't wait to get out of the house after being stuck in it ill.

He paused before shutting the folder he was working from, and grabbing his cloak.

"I'll take that as a yes then," I grinned.

I locked the door behind us, and headed down the fairly quiet street. Marlene and Denzel argued over who carried the bag, before realising that neither of them did and handed it to me. I handed it to Vinnie.

"So where are we going?" Marlene asked.

"You'll see," I smiled. Led them out of the city, and joined onto a little lane. I know Cloud often came down this road on his delivery route. It's really pretty around here. And quiet. A place that gets you away from the busy streets. And busy lives.

We walked for about ten minutes, Marlene and Denzel badgering me about where we were going the whole time. I just smiled. We rounded a bend, where a glade adjoined the lane.

"Wow" Denzel breathed. Marlene stared, and Vinnie glanced from it to me.

"I found it while I was exploring," I explained. It's a beautiful place, dotted with weeping willows, and has a stream running through it. Smooth rocks, perfect for climbing and sitting on were scattered across it and there's multicoloured flowers blooming everywhere.

I didn't mention that I'd found in when I'd taken to wandering around worrying about the certain gunman standing next to me while he'd been away. When I had found it, I had come here often, finding that it helped calm me down, and give me some peace of mind. I didn't worry so much about him when I was here.

My thought were interrupted by Marlene and Denzel squealing (well, that was Marlene) and running into the glade, throwing up butterflies from the flowers. I smiled and made my way to my favourite boulder, more of a white-grey than just grey. It kind of looks like a fallen rose petal. A white one. There's was a weeping willow behind it, its branches hanging like a curtain, and the stream bubbling just a couple of metres away.

I sat down on it, the peace of the glade already settling on me. Vinnie joined my. The serenity must have settled on him as well, by the look of peace on his face. I shifted so I was leaning against his shoulder.

"It's beautiful here," he murmured, "thank you for bringing us here,"

"Your welcome," was all I murmured back, letting my head fall onto his shoulder, and closing my eyes. The stream gurgled away, and I could hear Marlene and Denzel laughing, which all lulled me into a light slumber. Vinnie shifted so I was resting against his chest, causing my last thought to be '_remember those muscles?'_

O

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Of course there is one thing that can shatter the peace that the glade bestows on you. And that is Clouds and Tifas on Fenrirs pulling over, and said Tifas scrambling off and running towards you screaming "Look Yuffie look!" whilst shoving their left hand in your face.

HOLY LEVIATHAN THAT DIAMOND IS HUGE!

* * *

**_i think you can guess what kind of ring that was..._**

**_phew that was a loooong chapter. hoped you like it though. drop a review to tell me if you did if you'd be so kind *smiles* i never intended for this chapter to be so long, but i didn't want to split it in half, so you got a extra long one. hope you don't mind XD_**

**_i have been reading through my past author notes, and i want to apologise for the amount of typos on them! its because i want to update so quickly i rust them...so sorry! and i also apologise for the spelling/grammer/typos in the actually chapters. i do read them to make sure i get rid of them, but i always seem to miss a few!_**

**_hopefully you're going to review this extra long chapter now. you know i would like at least 5, but that seems a little stupid to say considering i got 24 review on the last chapter! _**

**_thanks for reading! xxx_**


	12. Incidental Ice Cream and Shopping Spats

**_I haven't given up! I have finally updated! And I am so, so, so sorry for not updating in such a long time. I feel so guiltly, and you have every right to be completly mad at me, because i really deserve it. I feel like such a hypocrite, wishing author would update when I haven't myself!_**

**_I do have some excuses. Whether you think they are valid or not though is up to you. The list consists of things like lots and lots of college work, a fake anti-spyware programme holding all my files ransom, decorating my room (red and white, the Yuffentine colours, that is how much I love this pairing!), coursework, Duke of Edinborough expedition (on my birthday), revision, and five exams (my sixth is tomorrow). _**

**_Plus, since fanfiction decided asterixes are no longer useable, I have started replacing them in my earlier chapters, and whilst doing this, I started to edited them as well. On the first few chapters, I've also puts some comments. I'm sorry if you've have had to read the chapters without the time dividers! I will finish the job, but I figured you might want this chapter up more, since its been like five months since my last update._**

**_A massive thank you to the people who have favorited, alerted, and reviewed this story! I want to give and especially shout out to Yafleti, for your messages to me, dragonwingedangel, for your fantastic review, and splodge82, for the reviews and messages andsupport you've continuously given to me! _**

**_I had a lot of problems writing this (as you've probably guessed due to the long update), as I initially had a completely different idea for this chapter, but as I ended up writing an entire bit unplanned, that idea no longer worked, so i'm saving it for another time, as trying to keep it in was giving me writers block. There was another bit planned for the end, but again, i'm going to save it for another time, as this chapter was long enough, plus it meant I would get it updated quicker. However, it does mean this chapter ends rather abruptly. I was desperate to get this up in the end, so i'm sorry if it doesn't quite flow!_**

**_This is a very long chapter. It feels like a bit of a filler to me, but there is some character development...I think!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character. They belong to Square Enix, who don't seem to realise that they need to make a game where Yuffie and Vincent hook up for Leviathan's sake!_**

**_Just a note, the trolley in this maybe better recognised as a shopping cart..._**

* * *

I still can't believe it! Cloud and Tifa are _finally_ engaged! _Engaged_! THEY'RE GETTING _MARRIED_! It's a week since they found me and Vinnie in the glade; thankfully Tifa was too preoccupied with her news (as she should have been!) to notice the position me Vinnie were in.

I mean the position of me practically sitting in his lap. Naughty thoughts be gone!

BE GONE I said!

Ahem.

Jeesh. Boobs and Chocobo butt engaged! Well, I can't say I'm surprised. They're _made_ for each other. I'm just surprised Cloud got his ass into gear and _actually_ asked her, because he can be a bit...well clueless and slow sometimes. A lot of the time. All the time. Okay, that was harsh. He's clueless and slow when it comes to matters of the heart; he was completely blind to Aerith _and_ Tifa during the time we were chasing Sephiroth, and then he really struggled to let go Aerith and Zack; it took a near death experience...hey, and before that, A LOT of angsting...this is also reminding me strongly of someone else…

I walked into the TV room to see Tifa sitting, ignoring the TV but dreamily admiring her engagement ring. I laughed and sat down next to her, snapping her out of her reverie.

"Musing again Tifa?" I smiled, happy for her. She smiled back. She's still on a _'sugar high'_ from being proposed to. As I would be. Not by _Cloud_ though. More of a tall, dark, red eyed gunslinger...

"I can't believe Cloud actually proposed!" she said in a kind of happy wonder.

"Well you'd better!" I laughed. She laughed with me.

"I'm so happy he did Yuffie! I mean, I've always dreamed he would, and now he actually has! It's hard to explain...it feels like I'm-"

"On _Cloud_ nine?" I interrupted, grinning. She burst out laughing.

"Well, I was going to say flying, but _Cloud_ nine works just as well!" she guffawed.

"You have every right to be," I told her, "I know I would be if I was engaged," I trailed off, looking wistfully away.

My cheeks coloured red when previously mentioned tall, dark, red eyed gunslinger walked directly into my line of vision, matching _oh so perfectly_ with my trail of thoughts. Cloud was with him.

"I call maid of honour," Tifa whispered into my ear, following my gaze. My red cheeks deepened even more.

"Teefah!" I hissed. She smiled mischievously, shrugging.

"Sorry. It's the _Cloud_ nine vibe," we both erupted into giggles, just as Vinnie and Cloud sat down. Well, Cloud did. Vinnie just kind of stood, leaning against the wall, with his arms folded. They looked confusedly at us.

"...?"

"Did we miss something?"

I just continued laughing.

"Nothing for you to worry about," Tifa replied, smiling at Cloud, who smiled back, leaning forward to kiss her. I pulled a face, getting up and going to stand next to Vinnie who had averted his eyes politely away from the tonsil tennis playing pair.

"Err guys? As happy as I am for you both, can't you save _that_ for later? Me and Vinnie don't really want to see you two chewing off each other's faces," I objected. Cloud rolled his eyes (He must be on _Cloud_ nine _as well_ if he's kissing her like that in public, and not blushing like he usually does).

"You just wait till your doing the same thing Yuffs," he said.

"You won't mind then," Tifa added.

"Oh stop ganging up on me and get back on _Cloud_ nine," I retorted, good humouredly, causing me and Tifa to start giggling again. Cloud looked puzzled (see; slow!), and Vinnie raised his eyebrows, looking amused, but a '_why am I not surprised by that from you'_ look in his eyes.

"C'mon Vinnie, let's leave these two love birds alone," I smiled, tugging him into the kitchen.

I was in the mood for chocolate. And ice cream. Combining the two, I got some chocolate flavoured ice cream out.

"Want some?" I offered Vinnie, scooping some into a bowl. Tifa would lecture me, even from _Cloud_ nine, if I just ate it from the tub.

"...no thanks," Vinnie declined politely, leaning against the counter. Does he have a thing for leaning against something? I swear he always is when he's standing up...I wish he'd leave that damn cloak off so I could properly see him. It's not as if he had something hideous to hide. He's as far away as you can get from hideous!

"Jeesh, what is _wrong_ with you? How can you say _no_ to _chocolate ice cream_?" I muttered, a frown gracing my face.

"I prefer...vanilla," he replied. I hadn't expected him to say _that_. He doesn't usually share stuff like that.

"Vanilla? _Vanilla_?" I asked indignantly, not making a fuss about his sudden sharing of personal info, but instead about vanilla: vanilla is plain, simple, _boring_.

"Is there an echo in here?" he smirked; crossing his arms across his chest once again.

"Well _excuse_ me! I was merely expressing my disbelief on your favouritism of vanilla ice cream. I mean whatever floats your boat, but _vanilla_? BORING," I enunciated, squeezing strawberry sauce on to my chocolate ice cream, and cutting up some bananas to stick in there as well, then mixing it all up.

"Yuffie, that looks revolting," he commented, pulling, what is considered to be, a face. Well, as much of a face _Vincent Valentine_ would pull.

"At least it has some taste. Unlike _vanilla_," I rolled my eyes at him, finding it fun bitching about his damn ice cream choice. He glanced with a twisted expression at my covered in strawberry sauce with banana slices in chocolate ice cream as I sat down with a spoon and dug into the yumminess.

"Vincent, if you _continue_ to stare in that _disgusted_ manner at _my_ ice cream, I'll _hurl_ it at your _face_. You're _hurting_ its _feelings_," I frowned.

"It's inanimate. It doesn't have feelings," he answered.

"Leave it alone! It can have feeling if I wants!" I defended.

"You're missing the point. It's inanimate,"

"Gawd, is there an echo in here?" I asked, licking the ice cream off of the spoon. He sighed. I rolled my eyes at him. He should know by now that whatever I say, _goes_.

"The point is, did _it_ say _it_ was _inanimate_?" I asked. He was looking at me disbelievingly.

"That _is_ the point. It didn't say it was inanimate because it _is_ inanimate and therefore cannot say-"

"Vincent I would love to finish this intellectually stimulating, philosophical discussion, but I am trying to eat the ice cream in question," I interrupted, pointing my loaded spoon at him, annoyed.

"...Surely eating it would be hurting its feeling?" he asked. He _would_ agree that it had feelings _just_ as I was about to eat it wouldn't he?

"Its _ice cream_ Vinnie. It _wants_ to be eaten," I snapped, sending an irritated, pissed off look his way. Was he trying to put me off or something? Or just been a dick?

"...Did it say that?"

I snapped. I had barely eaten _two_ spoonfuls of the gawd damn ice cream, plus _no-one_ uses Yuffie Kisaragi's _own_ words _against_ her and gets away with it.

So I flicked the loaded spoon at him. The smirk quickly changed to a look of _utter_ _shock_ when I nailed him _right_ in the _face_, and it was _so_ worth it, even if he had then shot me on the spot with Cerberus.

Glaring at me, he slowly wiped the covered in strawberry sauce with banana slices in chocolate ice cream off of his cheek. I could not help but let loose a giggle at his expression, which was not a good thing to do, because his eyes narrowed into _that_ look of _death_, and he started to _slowly_ stalk towards me.

_Which was not good._

_At all._

I hurriedly got u_p_, abandoning my ice cream, and started backing up whilst babbling.

"Hey _err_ Vinnie? Um...I totally didn't mean to do that...well I did but it was a totally unconscious decision I swear! And you should have seen your face! Um, _anyway_-"

_Fuck_. My back had hit the wall. And Vinnie was almost upon me. I glanced to the side and started sliding my way across the wall, but a gloved hand slammed into it, blocking my escape. I tried to go the other way, but a golden gauntlet blocked that way as well. Gulping, I glanced up to meet the intense glare of the towering gunman.

I _really shouldn't_ _have_ lobbed that covered in strawberry sauce with banana slices in chocolate ice cream at him.

He was _way_ too close for comfort. And I _know_ he _knew_ that. I looked anywhere but at his face.

"Oh, hey Vinnie. You seemed to have _erm_ trapped me against this wall for reasons _unbeknownst_ to me, so how about you take pity and let me go-" he interrupted my gibbering. And of _course_ I knew _why_ he had trapped me against the wall with his _own body_.

"You threw ice cream at me," he said in a quiet, albeit deep voice. I quelled the urge to look back up at him. If I _had_ met that burning gaze of his I _would_ have melted on the spot. And I _had_ to hold onto my pride. Even if the bits I was _desperately clinging_ to were only _threads_ of a great _tapestry_ depicting my ninjaness and patience of not hurling myself at said pride stealing gunslinger and screaming '_for Leviathan's sake I'm right here you moron!'_

"Yeah I did," I mumbled, trying frantically to clear my mind. He was standing _so damn close_. And remember what that shirt of his hides? All those _lean_, _strong_, _toned_ muscles-

_NO_. We would _not_ be going there. I started fidgeting, trying to restrain myself from letting my _itching_ hands from _wandering_ up his chest and _creep_ behind his neck and _re-enact_ what Cloud and Tifa had been, and probably _were_ doing now.

Then the complete and utter _idiot_ came _even_ _closer_, so his body was _pressed against mine_. I _immediately_ stopped fidgeting and balled my hands into fists at my sides, and started praying that SELF CONTROL WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ON MY OWN DAMNIT WITH THE SEXIEST MAN IN THE WHOLE OF GAIA! SCRATCH; IN ALL OF THE FREAKING COSMOS!

"It wasn't very nice of you," he murmured, same deep voice. He must have leaned his head close to my ear because I could feel his breath tickling them. How could he stay so _controlled_? I know _my_ heart was beating a _million times a minute_ right at that moment, and he could probably _hear_ because of all of his freaking enhancements and _for gawd's sake_ he was just _standing there_ saying _throwing ice cream_ at him wasn't _very nice_! I'd tell him what wasn't _very nice_! _Not very nice_ was him _not_ shoving me _completely_ up against that _fecking wall_ and-

No_ No_ NO. SHOO IMAGES! Oh _gawdohgawdohgawd_. The situation was _not_ good. I snapped my eyes shut, and hoped to Leviathan that _he_ thought the furious blush fanning across my face was from something _other_ than the decidedly _dirty thoughts _dancing across my mind.

_Shit_. I really _was_ in trouble. My will power was weakening to make way for the reasons why I _should_ just reach up and-

NO! Because he'd _stare_ then _run_, and go back to square one of _angsting_ and _brooding_ except _this time_ I _wouldn't_ be able to _help_ him because I would have _scared_ him _off_ and then the _universe_ would _implode_ and if he _pushed_ me any _damn_ _harder_ into that _fucking wall_ my hormones were going to _explode_ and I'd-

"My my Tifa, I thought they'd left to give _us_ some privacy, not to give _themselves_ privacy," a somewhat smug, but amused voice said. I jumped and squeaked, and Vincent rapidly pulled away.

Cloud stood there, eyebrows raised, arms crossed and smirking, sending suggestive glances between Vince and me, with Tifa standing at his side, who stood with raised eyebrows also, and a smirk, eyes shining as if to say_ having fun?_

I have no idea how I was going to live that one down after all the little embarrassing digs _I_ had made about the _two_ of _them_.

I looked away from the triumphant _I-have-something-to-torment-you-with-now_ pair, blushing to about the same shade of Vinnie's cloak. He was just glaring at said pair, mostly Cloud, looking _annoyed_?

Of course. He was _enjoying_ making me blush and squirm and uncomfortable without knowing the internal battle I had been fighting. It was just his revenge for me throwing that _gawd damn_-

I am NEVER eating ice cream _ever_ _again_.

OOO

I rolled onto my other side, and closed my eyes; hoping sleep would come to me in that position. I knew I was kidding myself. I hadn't been able to get to sleep for the past week since waking up with Vincent-

Ahem.

I still can't believe how soppy I had acted during the time Vinnie had been ill. All the hair stroking, and worrying... and then that whole glade episode! I am a Ninja for crying out loud! Not some lovesick girl!

Well, that's debateable, considering the fact I haven't been able to get to sleep _since_ that night I spent curled in said man's arms...there, I admitted it. It's like I'm pining or something!

PINING? I am a _ninja_! I do not _pine_ over some _man_!

It's not _just_ a _man_ though. It's _Vincent Valentine._

AARRGGHH!

Scowling, I pushed off the covers, stood up, and made my way downstairs, hoping a hot chocolate would help me settle. Tonight was particularly bad; I usually just toss and turn for a couple of hours, then manage to drift off. Tonight that wasn't happening. I had gone to bed early (the same time as the kids) after we had all watch a film together, all meaning me, Marlene, Denzel, Cloud, Tifa and Vincent, that the kids had picked out.

I suspected my inability to sleep _at all_ tonight had _something_ to do the whole_-been-pinned-to-a-wall-fiasco-by-the-sexiest-man-ever-to-exist_ thing earlier that day. I had avoided Vincent for the rest of the day, but had then found myself sitting next to him for the film (Cloud and Tifa seemed to be rather pleased at this arrangement, considering they had purposely positioned themselves and the kids so there was nowhere else for me to sit except next to the him). Albeit, I studiously evaded eye contact with the gunslinger I was sitting next to_,_ and stuffed myself with popcorn to distract myself from how _close_ I was to him, and comparing that closeness to how _close_ we had been _earlier_ that day. However the _popcorn-stuffing_-_thing_ didn't work as well as I had hoped as I blushed to the shade of a fire truck every time my hand clashed with Vinnie's when we both dove for the popcorn bowl sitting between us (I know! Since when has Vinnie eaten _popcorn_? Losing Chaos really _has_ changed him).

I walked into the kitchen; and was surprised to see Cloud sitting at the table, a load of maps spread out on the table in front of him. Cloud himself was sitting with his head on his hand, staring glassy eyed out of the window with a glass of milk held in the hand that wasn't propping him up, a smile spread across his face.

"I see you're hard at work Spikey," I grinned. He jolted out of his trance like state and grinned back sheepishly.

"Yeah..." he looked down at the maps half heartedly. He'd probably been planning a route, then drifted off to _Cloud_ nine. I sniggered.

"Just screw it Cloud. Its half one in the morning. Plus you're allowed to cut some slack considering you _finally_ asked Tifa to marry you," I advised.

"I guess...Hey, why are you up at this time?" he asked suspiciously.

"Can't sleep," I answered going to boil the kettle, and pulling out a mug and the hot chocolate powder.

_Snigger_.

I turned around from the cutlery draw, facing Cloud, confused.

"I bet I can guess why," Cloud snickered.

_Jerk_.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Don't. Even. Say. It," I growled, pointing a fork at him. A fork? I had meant to get a spoon...damn Cloud distracting me!

"What? That you were pinned to the wall by-"

"I swear Cloud, if you say another word, I _will_ shove my shruiken up your ass," I poured the boiling water into the mug, "and sideways,"

"I'm sure you will," he smirked, "So why did Vincent pin you to a wall again?"

"I told you," I replied through gritted teeth, "I threw ice cream at him," I spooned sugar into my drink. I would have ended up hurling it in his face if he didn't shut up.

"Uh-huh. So you throw ice cream at him, and he pins you to a wall with his own body as a way of revenge," he replied, sarcasm lacing his voice. I threw the spoon at him, which he caught easily; he was the hero who had defeated Sephiroth numerous times after all.

"Why so embarrassed Yuffie? Did you _enjoy_ it or something? Y'know, _Vincent_ pinning you to a wall?" He taunted. I glared at him, blushing, before starting to walk out.

He was enjoying this _far_ _too much_. Probably because that's all I did (example: before he and Tifa had got together, she had bent down to pick something up, in a _short_ skirt. "Enjoying the view Cloud?" I had snickered at his blatantly staring face. He had blushed furiously. So had Tifa actually) to him. A dose of my own medicine...revenge is sweet I guess.

"I've thought of my own scenario. Want to hear it?" he called at my back.

"_Goodnight_ Cloud," I called, trying to resist giving him the satisfaction of me yelling at him. Or throwing my hot chocolate at him. Or tackling him. Or getting my shruiken and letting him get intimate with it when it went up a certain place-

"Night Yuffie. I know what you'll be dreaming about!"

I slammed the door.

Hard.

OOO

The next day, I was in the bar with Tifa, who was enjoying various people coming up and admiring the ring on her finger, which made me grin.

"Tired Yuffs?" she asked when she noticed me yawning. For a fifth time.

"Mmnn,"

"Still not sleeping then. Well, I expect last night was particularly bad after-"

"Tifa," I growled, "_Don't_. I've already had it from Cloud,"

She grinned, but thankfully didn't push the subject. _Unlike Cloud had_.

"What you need," she stated, "is a squishy,"

...I know she was happy, but I presumed that was because she had just _got engaged_. Not because she was _on something_.

"Uh, Teef? A _squishy_?" I asked, looking at her as if she had just proposed I _give up materia_.

"Yeah. Well, that what I call them. It's like a big tube shaped bean bag, except really soft and...Squishy,"

"Right," I nodded.

"Don't look at me like that Yuffie! Look, you hug it or beat the crap out of it or whatever. My point is it really helps me sleep when Cloud is away on deliveries,"

"I don't know Teef. I mean, my problem isn't because I'm pining-"

"You sure?"

I glared.

"You know what Tifa? _Screw you_. _And Cloud_. What you saw was a perfectly _innocent_ encounter-"

"_Innocent_? Yuffie you were _blatantly_ pinned to a wall. That is _not_ innocent. That is _innocently_ _on purpose_. And I highly doubt that reason was because of _ice cream_. Deny all you want, but you know that as well as I do. And you were seconds away from losing all of your self control and letting Vincent win whatever game he was playing-"

"Okay! Okay! Jeez," I interrupted. I let her smile in victory and turn back to washing glasses.

She was right. If I lost _any_ _more_ sleep, and got into _any_ _more_ situations like the one yesterday, then I was pretty much _screwed_. Plus, I am a _ninja_ gawd damn it, and ninja are _always_ in control. And I was definitely _not_ in control yesterday. And Vincent had known that, the _taker-of-advantages-bastard_. The whole moving on thing was turning him into a right _smug-tormentor-for-his-own-amusement ._Not that I _really_ minded when it included being pressed against him-

I need to take action.

"Tifa? Where do you get these squishies?"

OOO

Okay, I ended up having to go do the grocery shopping and take the kids with me. The good thing was though, Tifa said I could spend what was left of the money on anything in the store, and she gave me loads! Nyuk nyuk nyuk. Plus she said she'd treat me to a squishy!

Now, what I couldn't decide whether was good or bad was the fact that she had sent Vincent with me.

Yeah, so I was sat in the passenger seat of the buggy trying to stop myself blushing the whole way there, while Vince drove, and smirked when he noticed me failing at said task. Which was starting to piss me off _big time_.

"So how's school kids?" I asked, breaking the silence. Well Marlene and Denzel were chatting on the back seats, but I wasn't talking to Vincent. I was too embarrassed. SEE WHAT THIS MAN HAD DONE TO ME? I'm Yuffie the fricking jabberer for frick's sake!

"Duh. Same old Aunt Yuffie," Denzel answered, not sounding very enthusiastic.

"You're going to have to elaborate Denny. I never went to school so I don't know that the 'same old' is," I grinned.

"You never went to school aunt Yuffie? Ever?" Marlene gasped.

"Nope," I replied. Even Vinnie seemed to be intrigued my announcement. Mind you, I have never really given many details on my childhood. There's actually quite a lot that Avalanche doesn't know about me, even though they are my closest friends.

To be quite honest, the most Avalanche knows about each other's past is what ShinRa did to them.

Anyway...

"What did you do instead?" Denzel asked. He sounded envious.

"I was tutored. School didn't teach 'how to be a princess' or 'how to run a country'. Plus I had to fit Ninja training in as well, and that itself took a lot of hard work and dedication, which was probably why I never had time to study how a proper Wutanise women should behave and why I constantly disagreed with the sexist, ageist council members," I shrugged.

"I never really listened to my tutor drone on about the traditional Wutanise women being silent and submissive; I was too busy daydreaming about monsters and ninjas instead. When my rebellious nature was realised, there was a kind of subtle revolution in the 'traditional' Wutanise women who started acting, well, _less_ silent and submissive," I was grinning by now.

"The council were furious when practically every woman in Wutai started to talk back to their husbands. And the husbands couldn't exactly do much about it considering the fact that it was their 'traditional' Wutanise wives cooking _their_ food and serving _their_ Sake. You see Wutanise woman know _a lot_ about herbs and spices you see...which ones are _nice_, which ones are _bad_, which ones are _very bad_..." My grin had grown so much you could probably have wiped the floor with it. What I had said was more for Vinnie than the kids, as I didn't think they would understand most of it; they were only eleven and nine.

Those memories were sweet; the council, so patronising and condescending, all annoyed, running around in a flurry. That was the first time they started taking me seriously, and respecting me. Still, they weren't pleased with me.

"...How long were you tutored for?" Vincent asked, breaking my thoughts.

"Oh, till I was fourteen. Then I was sent off into the world to gather materia," I answered, tucking a stay lock of hair behind my ear.

"Fourteen?" Marlene gaped.

"Why so young?" Denzel asked. Although it probably wasn't so hard to contemplate for him, as he was on the streets when he was even younger.

"Well, as a princess, my education was started much earlier than normal, and learnt stuff a lot faster than kids usually do because I was the only student, and, well, I'm smart," I grinned; it was the truth, so why should I be modest? "So my education was finished by the time I was fourteen. Wutai wasn't the best place to live then either, as we were still getting back on our feet from the war with ShinRa, plus me and the council were at each other's throats constantly, so my dad figured I'd be better off outside of Wutai, and since I'd completed my ninja training with flying colours, I had the necessary survival skills to live that way. Two years past with me as the full time world's greatest materia hunter, and then I joined up with the gang," There, my life story. Fun and free.

"Your childhood sounds rather lonely," Vinnie seemed to pick up the only downside to my childhood.

"Well I was close to my mother when she was alive. And Master Roku, who trained me in combat, was always ready to listen. Me and my old man were close when he was just a normal dad, not Lord Godo. I suppose the only friend I had of the same-ish age was Yuri. It just comes with being a princess I guess, and I never really minded being on my own," I shrugged. I noticed Vincent noticing my statement was in past tense, through which I implied I couldn't live that lonely life anymore. I'd miss all of Avalanche too much. I've changed a lot since I first met them.

"Wow. Do you think Cloud and Tifa will let me go off into the wild when I'm fourteen?" Denzel asked hopefully.

"I wouldn't count on it kid," I chuckled, "I'm just special,"

Then Marlene piped up: "What about you Uncle Vincent? Did you sleep on a straw bed when you were a child?"

It was a good job I wasn't driving. I would have crashed the car from laughing.

"A straw bed? Why would he have slept on a straw bed Marlene?" I gasped our, between giggles. Even Denzel was sniggering. Vincent looked...kind of amused, and offended.

"You slept in a coffin for a hundred years didn't you?" Marlene asked confusedly. Her answer only made me laugh more.

"Who told you that?" Vinnie frowned.

"Uncle Cid," She answered.

"_Cid_? And you believed _him_? Was he even _sober_ Marlene?" I asked, still sniggering along with Denzel.

"I don't know," Marlene was chewing her lip by now, "How long _did_ you sleep in a coffin for?"

"Thirty years," Vince replied, still looking put out.

"Oh. So you _didn't_ sleep on a straw bed?" She sounded disappointed.

"No," Vincent looked even more put out by Marlene's tone. I'm not surprised; Vinnie does say he's old, but he's not _that_ old that he lived in the _middle ages_! And even if he had slept in a coffin for a hundred years, he still wouldn't have been born in times when people slept on straw beds!

I wonder if she's told all her friends he slept in a coffin for a hundred years and slept on a straw bed...

Vincent pulled into the car park (if I have failed to mention, he looked extremely sexy driving...well actually, he looks extremely sexy all of the time, but that's beside the point) and found a spot to park. He took his cloak off -here I almost melted at his uncloaked sexy glory- presumably so he wouldn't be so noticeably Vincent Valentine. Well, he is Vincent Valentine but whatever. I don't think that its fair that Vinnie is always noticed, because there's a guy who has bright pink and blue hair and wears nothing but a black leather motorcycling jacket with fringe and studs on, which is open so you can see his really, _really_ hairy chest, with yellow shorts which are _so_ bright they are _practically radioactive_, and roman sandals which string all the way up to his knees (I secretly want a pair of them) but no one ever notices _him_ when he walks around the supermarket whistling out of tune as loud as he can! Put _Vinnie_ on the scene and _every_ female in a _ten mile radius_ is chasing him, screaming and asking him to donate his genetic material to their next generation! It is _sexual harassment_ I say! SEXUAL HARASSMENT! Stupid _bitches_! I wonder, would they like my _shruiken_ to donate _its_ genetic material? Because if I see a women so much as look at him, I will defiantly let them get intimate with it!

Psh. Stupid cows. If he's donating his genetic material to _anyone_, it _will_ be the _greatest_ ninja _ever_ to walk this planet _damnit_, the _single_ white rose of Wutai-

Oh _gawds_! I shouldn't be thinking like that! Moving on from that sudden turn of thoughts, to my non-existent point to distract myself from those gawd damn _images…_

I glanced at him noticed he looked…I narrowed my eyes. Now he had taken his cloak off, I could see the whole of his handsome features and could therefore pick up that he was _brooding_. Well, not as in major brood/angst/mope/wallow kind of brooding mood he used to be in a lot, but a slight brooding mood none the less. I guess it was probably caused by all the talk of the past and coffins…

Once we had got out of the car, and I had made sure Marlene and Denzel were close so they wouldn't get run over, I sidled up to Vincent as we made our way to the building so _snapping-Vinnie-from-his-broodiness_ could commence.

"Hey Vincent? I don't think those years spent in a coffin really counted you know," I informed him, "To your age I mean,"

"...?" He looked at me, silently asking why not. The dot dot dots. A _sure_ sign of broodiness.

"Sleeps a funny thing. I once slept for four hours straight in the afternoon and thought it was the evening the next day when I woke up. Another time I took a blow to the head and slept for a week and woke up thinking it had only been a couple of hours," I elaborated, not looking at him, but speaking in my thoughtful-mature way (I can be _very_ mature _when_ I _want _to be).

"…I suppose," he answered, sounding unsure of what I was getting at.

"I mean, the only thing that had changed really when we knocked on your coffin was the date," I continued. When I say 'knocked on your coffin' I kind of meant ran-into-the-basement-shouting-about-materia-proceeding-to-then-rip-open-his-coffin-and-scream-'Shit! Vampire!'

Same thing really though.

"Well, the world was about to end as well, but that's beside the point," I added at his 'oh really?' stare.

"And anyway, you weren't doing anything other than _atoning_," here I had to resist the strong urge to make quotation marks with my fingers, "You were practically non-existent! However, when we woke you up you did _loads_ of important things! You killed Hojo, Helped save the world _twice_, saved the world once _yourself_, got rid of Chaos, and made a bunch of new friends. Plus you were immortal, so ageing didn't count, unlike now, when you're, uh, un-immortal," I paused, suddenly pulled up by his surprised look.

"How do you know that?"

"Well, you got sick last week didn't you? You never get sick, even when I was constantly sneezing all over you at the party of Kadaj's/Sephiroth's second defeat, because immortality made you immune to all sicknesses or something. I figured it had taken your body a couple of years to get used to ageing again after Chaos left or something…Hey, do you think we'll be able to throw you a twenty eighth birthday party this year? Like a proper-_aged-another-actual-year_ one? I mean twenty eight's hardly a milestone like Barret's fortieth in December, but after what, _thirty five years_ of _staying_ twenty seven? _That's_ a pretty big deal to celebrate right? Right Vince? Why are you staring at me like that?"

He was staring at me weirdly. It's that look in his eye that I can't identify, that I've seen a couple of times now, like when I went crazy at him in my office, with that massive rant. I hadn't ranted at him just then though, just babbled…

"…You're very perceptive Yuffie," He finally answered, after just staring at me with that unidentifiable look a little longer.

"_Jeez_! I _know_ I am! You don't need to sound so gawd damn _astonished_! I _am_ a _ninja_!" I scowled. What do these people think being a ninja _means_? Muttering in annoyance, I noticed that Vincent was smirking again. Well, I had successfully stopped him brooding then. He was just smirking at my displeasure. Funny, the times he usually is smirking is because I'm embarrassed or annoyed or in general displeasure. _Stupid_ JERK.

By now we had gone through the automatic doors of the shop. I grabbed two baskets, and handed one each to Marlene and Denzel.

"Right kids, I want you to both to fill these with as much junk food as you can find. Sweets, chocolate, soda…You following me?"The kids nodded eagerly. I've taught them well nyuk nyuk!

"Right, me and Vinnie will take care of the normal food shop, and meet you in the DVD section in twenty minutes okay? Stay together and make sure you get some cookie dough ice cream!" they scampered off happily.

I know I said I was never going to eat ice cream again, but I can't live without it, so I'll just avoid the chocolate variety for a while, and stick to cookie dough, which also rocks the socks right off my feet.

Turning to get a trolley, I noticed Vincent was no longer smirking, but sporting a disapproving expression instead.

"What?" I asked, in a defensive tone. It was bound to be something _I_ had said.

"You sent them to find as much junk food as they can?" he asked sarcastically. Yep, he was fine now. Not one bit brooding if he was expressing sarcasm.

"Yeah. Junk food is the sixth food group Vinnie, and we all need to eat a balanced diet. I thought a well educated man as yourself would know that," I replied, in a _that's shameful!_ tone. He scowled even more.

I grabbed a trolley and gave it a push before standing on the front of it and freewheeling up the nearest aisle.

"Whoops!" I said when I flew straight down the fruit aisle. Executing a perfect U-turn (well, I say perfect, but I had actually forgotten how _hard_ those trolleys were to _control_, especially when executing U-turns), I sped back down the aisle, almost crashing into Vinnie. He looked like he was lamenting over having to leave Cerberus at home (I had pointed out that bringing a loaded gun into a supermarket _really_ didn't seem like the best of ideas). He'll have some form of firearms concealed on him though. He doesn't go out without some kind of weapon. I don't blame him though. I'm the same. I've got a couple of throwing knives hidden in my boots. It's like the boy scouts say: always be prepared.

How did I get onto the subject of boy scouts?

"Yuffie, please stop that. You have no degree of control, and there are other people in here," he requested. The look on his face kind of suggested he was praying for patience…

"And?" I asked, rather hurt by his comment. Of course I had a _degree_ of _control_! I had _many_ _degrees_ of it for _his_ information!

"They should just watch it then! Flying around the aisles is the_ whole reason I come _food shopping Vinnie!" I informed him as we bagged fruit up and put it in the trolley. "Plus it's not my fault they move at snail's pace, which is like _illegal_," I added.

"On highways. This is not a highway," Vincent sighed. I know, he _sighed_. Like he was _exasperated_ or something!

"Same thing!" I cried, waving my hand "We've got a schedule to stick to here Vinnie, so move your ass!"

I jumped back on the trolley, gave myself a push, zipping off up the next aisle.

"Hey watch it miss!" a guy yelled as he pulled into the aisle I was coming out of. Almost crashed into me, stupid jerk! Its' that weird guy I mentioned earlier actually, with the radioactive shorts…

I gave him a disgusted look then retorted: "You!" before whizzing off again.

"Watch your woman man!" I heard the man demand indignantly. Man? I _no man's_ women!

"…I apologise," okay, I wish I was _his_ women.

I had to leave the trolley at the top of the next aisle as there were too many other people and trolleys down this particular one. Without waiting for Vinnie, I went and starting grabbing everything off of the list.

When my arms were half full, I wondered where Vince was. Considering I had told him to move his ass, he was sure taking his time! I bet it was deliberate, the bastard! Or maybe a hoard of fan girls had recognised him…

"Vinnie! There you are! What took you so long? I was beginning to think you had been waylaid by fan girls! Oh well, take these," I exclaimed, and dumping the food in his arm, and going back to the trolley and pushing off…

…only to find it wouldn't move!

"Vinnie! It's stuck! What's up with it?" I cried, trying to shift it, but failing.

"Let me try," He answered calmly, placing the food into the misbehaving trolley and taking over the handle bar. It moved off without a problem. I gaped.

"How did you do that?" I asked incredulously; it had defiantly not budged so much as an inch a moment ago! Did he have some special magical power? Had Hojo given him some enhancement that allowed him to make a fool of me?

"Perhaps it just doesn't want to be raced around the store," he replied. Feeling annoyed now at my failure and his success, I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry to break it to you Vince, but it's a _trolley_ and _trolleys_ are just _objects_. No thoughts, opinions or feelings. Completely non-living," I informed him. He stopped, looking at me with disbelief all over his face.

"What?" I asked. The disbelieved look was still in place, which is weird for Vince, as he usually only shows disbelief or any other feelings for the briefest of moments.

"You are unbelievable," he responded, shaking his head.

"How am I? Is it my ninja-ness? My amazing combat skills? My sexiness? My obsession for materia? My ability wind Cid up?" I needed him to be a bit more specific. I have _many_ unbelievable qualities.

"Your complete hypocrisy," He replied, still looking slightly incredulous.

"Excuse me?" I spluttered; I hadn't been expecting _that_!

"Saying one thing, and yet saying another," he said, shaking his head slightly.

"I know what it means!" I retorted. Jeez, had I not said I had had a good education in the car?

I didn't get a chance to inform him of this very fact as he left the trolley, and headed off up the next aisle.

"Hey! You do not just make unjustified accusations like that, and then waltz off!" I called, following him. I continued to badger him as we picked up items, but he gave me no other response than disbelieving head shaking.

I stopped badgering him when we got back to the trolley, which again, only magically worked for him.

He looked really odd with that trolley actually. I mean he's _Vincent Valentine_. The famous, unbeatable gunslinger, former demon host, Hojo's downfall, once upon a time Turk…with a _trolley_. Those thoughts made me giggle.

"…?"

"Just the fact that Vincent Valentine extraordinaire is pushing a trolley around a super market," I laughed, "It really cute!"

Did I just say that? I did not just say that.

"…Cute?" he asked, looking…annoyed?

"Um…yeah. Sure," I stammered. Why do I say these things? _Why_?

"Yuffie, you say chocobos are cute," he said indignantly. _Indignantly_. _Vincent Valentine_. He was _defiantly_ annoyed. Possibly even pissed off.

"Well, yeah," I stammered, blushing. Opps. I guess I accidently compared him to a Chocobo…that's probably why he was so pissed with me… "Sorry?"

"You have no right to call me cute," he glared. I blushed even more.

"Jebus Vinnie. You never got offended when I called you sexy," I muttered in embarrassment, digging myself deeper into the hole.

"There is a clear difference between 'cute' and 'sexy'. One of which is that you do not declare your Chocobo to be sexy every time you see her," he answered, heading down another aisle having left the trolley at the top. He was really getting his knickers in a twist about this wasn't he? Not that I think Vinnie wears knickers. That's just…eww!

"Hey! Liberty is a very sexy Chocobo I'll have you know!" I cried. He gave me a really dirty look. Like I'd just thrown up on his golden shoes of shiny death. I did that once. He was _not_ impressed. Wasn't my fault though. I was completely inebriated. In his honour as well. It had been at his celebration party of Yo-Vince-you're-still-alive-after-saving-the-world-and-you-managed-to-get-rid-of-Chaos-plus-you-got-your-gawd-forsaken-redemption-that-you've-been-trying-to-get for-the-last-how-many-years-so-maybe-you'll-be-able-to-move-on-and-see-the-person-whose-been-waiting-for-you-to-get-your-gawd-forsaken-redemption-for-the-last-how-many-years-so-you-can-give-her-some-lovin'. So it was entirely his fault I barfed all over his shoes.

"Well, your Chocobo obviously thinks she is. He won't stop stalking her, the poor girl. Everywhere she goes, and BOOM he's there, harassing her," I sniffed, in response to his filthier-than-monster-crap look, "It's like the Chocobo version of me and Reno," Here, he gave an even filthier glare, except this time it wasn't directed at me at me. Some poor shopper happened to catch it, and they squeaked, probably pissed themselves, and then pegged it.

"How many times do I have to tell you Vince?" I sighed, exasperated, "You cannot give your glare of ultimate death so casually in public! That poor woman is probably regretting the day she was born right now in some corner curled up sobbing!" Actually, she can regret the day she was born in some corner curled up sobbing all she likes. It means one less fan girl to compete with.

I signed again when I realised Vinnie wasn't listening, and followed him back to the trolley…and caught a very subtle movement of his foot…

"YOU CHEEKY BASTARD!" I cried, realising my ignorance…and feeling extremely stupid.

He gave me a questioning glance.

"Here's for perception, YOU'VE JUST BEEN PUTTING THE LOCK ON THE WHEEL EVERYTIME WE STOP!" I exploded, attracting the attention of, well, just about everyone, "YOU MORON! YOU KNOW WHAT? I TAKE IT BACK! YOU'RE NOT, CUTE, AND YOU'RE NOT SEXY!" I was pretty sure they're some woman watching who would have begged to differ, as I would have had I not been suffering from heat of the moment pissed offness, "AND I'M GOING TO FLY AROUND AS MUCH AS I WANT!" And to prove this point, I did just that.

Vince caught up with me as making my way swiftly down the refrigerated aisle, throwing things into the trolley not-so-very-gently.

"…"

"Oh shut up!" I muttered angrily.

"I did not say anything," he replied. I made an angry noise.

"Well…You didn't _not_ say anything!" I shot back. Did he not see that I was pissed? When I am pissed, you do not get all smart arsed!

"You are acting very dramatically," He observed.

"Dramatically? _Dramatically_?" I cried dramatically…proving his point.

"Yes," He said simply.

"Well you didn't have to lock the wheel and make me feel like a _complete idiot_! You could have just _asked_ me to stop!" I scowled. It was his own fault I was acting like this!

"I did ask you to stop. You ignored me, so I took more drastic measures," he replied calmly.

"That…that's not the point!"

"That is precisely the point,"

"Well… your 'drastic measures' were _completely_ out of proportion!"

"You are acting completely out of proportion,"

"I am not! Your little stunt was just…plain mean!" Okay, so I was acting like the immature brat that Cid and Barret always call me. But I was just feeling really stupid and embarrassed, and when I'm feeling stupid and embarrassed, I usually end up throwing hissy fits.

"Are you annoyed that I outsmarted you, or are you truly upset with me? If it is the latter, I and sincerely sorry, and apologise for my actions immensely," Vincent said softly. Jeez, he had made me feel amused, embarrassed, exasperated, angry, and now like _complete dirt_. Damn his ability to handle me!

"You're a jerk you know. An utter jerk," I accused. He smiled a little.

"Because I reason with you instead of contending in a screaming match?" he asked.

"Yes. Exactly," I answered. His smile grew a little more. He knew me well enough to recognise my apology, and my apology given, I didn't want to dwell on my ridiculous behaviour,

"Come on Vinnie! We've still got half of Tifa's meticulous list to get through!"

"…What is the rush?" he asked.

"Uh, we're meeting Marlene and Denzel in the DVD section in a few minutes now, then we've got to queue to pay which will take _ages_, and I've got to get back to the bar to finish some intelligence reports for Reeve before my bar duty which starts two hours from now, and it will take me at least an hour to do them," I replied. Oh Leviathan, I _did_ have a lot to do. Maybe leaving stuff last minute _isn't_ the way to go.

"If you have so much to do, why did you agree to come here?" That's right Vinnie. You just make me sound utterly stupid in your cool, calm, stupid voice!

It's not actually stupid. It's extremely sexy.

Oh for the love of Leviathan! Why can't I call _something_ about him _stupid_ without that little _gawd damn_ voice _correcting_ me? It's a figure of speech! A FIGURE OF _GAWD DAMN_ SPEECH!

Except when it's being used to describe Vincent. _Vincent_ and _stupid_ don't belong in the same sentence like _Vincent_ and _sleeps around_ don't belong in the same sentence; Vincent doesn't even _talk_ to people he doesn't know, _let alone_ chat up random girls. Well, he may have done when he was a Turk and before the whole Lucrecia/Hojo thing.

Oh. My. Gawd. Did Vincent _sleep around_ when he was a Turk? _No_. Vincent _couldn't_ have been a _player_.

_No_. Not _Vincent. _

_Would_ he?

"…Yuffie?"

I repressed a squeak. Oh. Concerned, eyes, really, close.

"…Are you well?"

"Yah," I said slowly quickly "Why wouldn't I be?" I was acting very suspiciously. But come on. I was just thinking about the man I love…you know…I mean, adult stuff involving him…

THE IMAGES! STOP! _PLEASE_! I CANNOT BE THINKING ABOUT THIS KIND OF TOPIC IN A _SUPERMARKER_!

"I asked you a question, and you didn't answer…you're very quiet, and acting on the defensive," he informed me.

"I am not!" I exclaimed, reinforcing the acting defensively thing. Realising this, I added, "I was just having an internal debate,"

"…About?" he prompted, raised eyebrows.

Oh, just about how sexy your voice is, and if you slept around in your Turk days.

Yeah, I was really going to tell the truth.

"About…the…stupidity of your question!" stammering at the beginning, I suddenly exclaimed the rest in triumph. He was still eying me questionably though, which was making me nervous, and when I'm nervous, I babble, which I then started to do.

"Because you're Vincent Valentine, and Vincent Valentine Is always on the ball, so you don't ask stupid questions, because you and stupid don't belong in the same sentence just like you and-" I was on the brink of repeating my thoughts from earlier! I cast my mind out for a quick recovery.

"-babbling don't belong in the same sentence," I finished. Phew. That was close; I had almost just said out loud that in was wondering if he used to sleep around!

Is that really so bad though? I mean, as a girl in love with him, I have the right to know if he used to be like Reno, and slept with _anything remotely female_. Right?

But then I'd have to explain I had that right because I am a girl in love. With him. Not Right!

But Vincent is a gentleman. And that isn't something you just suddenly gain. It's like something you always have been; he didn't wake up in his coffin a think 'right, I'm going to be a gentleman from now on' and a gentleman wouldn't see a female, and be like 'wanna fuck?'. Okay, If Vince had been a player, I doubt he would have been a blunt as that. But still, that gets my point across.

This new thought made me a lot happier, so I gave Vinnie my full attention.

"My point is, isn't it obvious why I agreed to come? It's your damned fault!" I said, rolling my eyes.

"…?"

"I wanted to get the hell out of there! Cloud and Tifa wouldn't leave me alone about you pinning me to that _gawd damn_ wall!" I could feel myself blushing as I said it, quite the opposite to Vinnie who was _smirking_ as I said it.

"Oh stop being so smug about it. What kind of pay back was _that_? _Pinning_ me to a _wall_?" I retorted in response to the smirk.

"I don't remember you being quite so mocking at the time. You seemed to be rather preoccupied with finding a somewhere to place your gaze," he answered, his sexy smirk ever present.

I opened my mouth for a snappy comeback, but couldn't seem to find one. Furthermore, I found myself struggling to place my gaze.

"_Bastard_," I muttered. His smirk grew, and my eyes arrowed, "Well I _fully intend_ to _avenge myself_, so _you'd_ better _watch out_," I advised him, glaring.

"Avenge yourself? Have you forgotten that it was you who started it in the first place when you threw ice cream at me?" he asked.

"Well you wouldn't shut and let me eat it!" I replied indignantly.

"It is hardly my fault you cannot handle your own words being sent back to you," He answered.

"Excuse me? I _sooo_ can!" I cried.

"You threw ice cream at me, do you not recall?"

"Oh _whatever_. As I said, you'd better _watch your back_ Valentine," I said warningly again.

"I just need to find a secure hiding place for my materia then," He responded dryly.

"That is incredibly _bias_!" I cried indignantly.

"But true," he said shortly.

"Fine_._ Don't come _crying_ to _me_ though when _Cerberus_ finds itself in _disarray_," I retorted with narrowed, scheming eyes.

It was his turn to narrow his eyes. "You _wouldn't_,"

"Wouldn't _what_?" I challenged, my eyes gleaming.

Right then a little old lady asked if she could get by (we seemed to have stopped moving halfway through our conversation) so we had to stop our argument. When she had passed, I realised I had had enough of our little chat, and so smirking at my victory, I took control of the trolley, and made to move off. However, a golden gauntlet snaked hold off the bar on the outside of my right hand, and a gloved one gripped the bar outside my left. A body hovered very close to mine, and I felt warm breath on my ear. I shivered, but not from the cold.

"Touch my gun Kisaragi, and you will find out just how dirty I can play," A voice breathed. I shivered again, then the hands released the bar, and the body drew away, leaving behind an extremely dazed me.

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

He had _definitely_ been a player.

* * *

_**So, the chapter that took forever. I've had most of it written up for ages, it was just a matter of finishing it. I think the whole 'Cloud nine' thing was a bit lame, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, which as I said, was a long time ago now.**_

_**The whole ice cream/pinned to the wall thing was the part I didn't plan to write. However, i've always wanted to write a scene like that involving Yuffie and Vincent, so I kept it in. Oh, and the whole 'squishy' thing? They're actually called 'microbead cushions' but I only found out after I had written it.**_

_**I never planned the whole shopping bit either. And the hissy fit Yuffie has? that was totally random, and I find it doesn't really fit, but I that was the last thing I wrote. I wrote up to it, and didn't know how to carry on, so I left a kind of space, and went on to write what come after it, and I have already said, I really wanted to get this up, so I just added in the hissy fit. It felt disjointed after I had put it in and read through it, but i think its okay, so thats that.**_

_**Hopefully you're not to angry with me about not updating in such a long time to review. I have an exam first thing tomorrow, and i'm going to bed now, so please leave me some reviews to come back to after my exam tomorrow!**_

**_Although I can't promise the next chapter will be up soon, i'll try and get it up quicker that this one! The summer holidays will be starting soon, so I should have plenty of time to write it. If all goes to plan, we'll be seeing the return of Reno in it!_**

_**Thank you so much for reading, and your patience! I hope you found this chapter was worth the wait!**_


	13. Working Woes

_**Finally, an update for you! Actually, I was going to update at school earlier in geography, but I had the wrong version of this chapter on my memory stick! Geography is a bit of a doss lesson. I'm not usually a dosser, but I can afford to in geography. And I do fine in it, so its not as if updating instead of doing some research on the internet once in a while is going to kill my good grade in it XD**_

_**I'm sorry I've not updated in 3 months! I am such a bad updater. But it is chapter 13, bad luck, so maybe that superstition had somethinf to do with the time lapse between the last chapter and this one. Or maybe i'm just making excuses. It took me the first two months to actually write this damn thing, and the last month was taken up by writers block on the next chapter. See the original plan was to write this, and then write the next chapter because they'd follow on. Or at least write half of the next chapter so you wouldn't have to wait too long for it. Well that plan screwed up big time. I've written 5 and a bit pagesof the next chapter, but its being a bitch. And there's alot more to write, so I figured you'd rather read this and wait for the next update rather than wait another another three goddamn months.**_

_**Anyway, finally, i've written a chapter that isn't longer than the last one I wrote. Its still long, but not as long as the last one, or the one before that, or the one before that...Anyway, I was originally going to write one chapter rather than a two parter, but that wasn't going to happen unless you wanted a very, very, very, long chapter. Plus the update would be months away. As usual, I wrote a completely unplanned part, going on 7 pages. The first 7 pages have quite a few rambles in, but writing as Yuffie can be like that!**_

_**Talking of rambles, the first few rambles you come across are made up. Not all of it. Part of it is the truth, taken from 'the case of Yuffie' from 'on a way to a smile' from which i read the translation on . Anyway, hopefully you'll know what i'm talking about.**_

**_Time to thank alerters, favoriters and especially reviewers! You are all fantastic, and I honestly wouldn't be able to write this without the encouraging feeling you get from being alerted, favorited and especially reviewed! Thank you all so so so much!_**

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters. They belong to Square Enix, and they aren't doing anything with them at the moment. **_

* * *

I've led a funny life. I mean, being a princess is funny in its own right, but apart from that. At fourteen, I didn't have a home as such. I lived everywhere: in a cave, under a tree, in a hotel, in a tent, under the stars… everywhere. Anywhere. My job was to gather materia, and to do that, I either stole it, or went to the deep places of the world and found it. That's what I did for two years, occasionally popping back to Wutai to give the materia to my father, my kind of employer. But he represented Wutai, so I technically worked for Wutai.

Anyway, two years later, I met the gang. Or some of the gang. The gang-to-be. I joined the gang-to-be, and everything was the same, except I wasn't on my own. Then that changed (after I'd stolen their materia and that whole incident had been resolved), and my job was no longer to gather materia. Sure, it was still on my mind, but that was just my instincts; after all, it had been my sole purpose for the last two years. No, my job was to chase Sephiroth and eventually kill him and to save the world. I think my main reason for going along was just for the heck of it really. No one had told me to go. I wasn't _officially_ doing it for my father or country, although having a representative of Wutai help save the world would have help restore it to its former glory, a thought that encouraged me to go and do it. But apart from that, I was just there, and it was the best decision I ever made, even though it was lacking motives. I met my family, and despite the bad times, we also had some fantastic ones as well.

When that all ended, I went back to Wutai. My hometown was a bit of a mess, the lifestream having passed through on its way to the meteor, leaving behind damaged buildings, and injured people. No one knew what I had been and done-so much for the glory of Wutai motive-and I couldn't tell them as many of them had been injured by the lifestream. Although my people understood the lifestream had saved us, they were still unhappy about, which I could understand I guess.

Then I found myself locked in my own house, blamed for the strange disease a women had come down with (One of the earliest cases of Geostigma) which had originated from Midgar, where I had recently been. My childhood friend, Yuri, helped me bust out, but then he contracted Geostigma himself. I spent the next two years looking after those with the disease (which was contracted when strange black water entered the bodies of those who had given up on life or were faint-hearted), and searching for a cure in the form of materia, once again becoming a materia hunter, living everywhere and anywhere.

The cure turned out to be Aerith bringing down healing rain. I was eighteen at the time, and in the belly of Cid's pride and joy, 'the Shera', watching Cloud fight Kadaj-soon-to-be-Sephiroth-who-just wouldn't-stay-dead-for-gawd's-sake, after saving the city from Bahamut SIN with the rest of Avalanche. As a cure had been found, I no longer had to search for materia, so during the wild, _wild, _celebration party with Avalanche after Kadaj's/Sephiroth's second defeat, Reeve recruited me for the World Regenesis Organization, better known as the WRO. For a year I gathered intelligence through espionage for Reeve, the big boss, and I lived in a kickass flat at a WRO base, where I trained recruits in my spare time, and gave further training to the recruits specializing in my department.

When I was nineteen, I was on such a mission. Reeve had sent me to Nibelheim in his panic over the sudden appearance of Deepground to try and find any possible information about them. I of course headed to Shinra manor. That place forever gave me the creeps; the last time I went there, I found Vincent (not creepy at all) in a coffin (completely creepy). I went in for the second time, and low behold, there was Vincent, scaring the life out of me _again,_ as he was about to be killed by that blood thirsty bitch Rosso the Crimson or whatever she was called. I saved him (of course), and he went on to save us all, performing a disappearing act on us at the same time. While waiting for him to reappear, I stayed with Tifa, looking after the Kids, and learning how to bar tend to keep myself distracted from despairing thought that Vincent might not come back. During that time living with Tifa and Cloud, I came to realized how much I had missed my friends in the past few years, and that I didn't want to be on my own again. I mention this to Tifa, and as my skills in the bar were magnificent (what else was to be expected from the single white rose of Wutai?), she said I could live with them in exchange for help in the bar, as she was constantly run off her feet. I agreed, and Reeve allowed me to become part time at that the WRO.

So now, I live in Seventh heaven with Cloud, Tifa, Denzel, Marlene and Vincent (me and Tifa practically forced him to stay after he came back from his final battle with Omega). I work for both Tifa _and_ Reeve, and juggle two part time jobs, as well as duties for Wutai that I can do from Seventh Heaven. And you know what? I get no time off.

_At all_.

EVER.

After _all_ the _good_ I've done in my life, after all my _hard efforts_, I am now like any other person, working my ass off for a living. I mean, I used to live in the wild, fighting monsters off every other hour, and wondering where I was going to end up next. Now? I may not be wondering where I'll end up, but I _never_ have a free moment! If I have a morning off from the bar, I have to get up mega early and go to the WRO, and if I get the afternoon off from the WRO, I have to work in the bar, and if I get the evening off from the bar, I have to review something my dad's sent over via email (curse Staniv for teaching him how to use a computer!). It sucks. _Majorly_.

And it's not as if I can _ask_ for time off, because I _already_ work the _minimal_ amount of hours that qualifies as part time. My job at the WRO is _very_ important, so I can't afford to work fewer hours there, or the _whole department_ of espionage and intelligence would fall into _chaos_, and plus, that's the job I actually get _paid_ for doing.

I can't work fewer hours in the bar either though because instead of paying Tifa and Cloud rent for my room (and eating them out of house every week), which they would use to hire some help in the bar, I _am_ that help in the bar. It works out better for them in the long run, because I can also look after the kids, and run errands (such as shopping) for them. This works out better for me in the long run as well because I can steal materia off of unsuspecting customers (old habits die hard!) nyuk nyuk nyuk.

And I can't not review or complete the stuff my father sends over: Although I haven't lived in Wutai for at least three years now (I'm twenty one), and I really can't see myself _ruling_ the _actual country_ anymore, I _am_ still the _heir_ and _princess of Wutai_, and so I still have duties. My dad and the council have been pretty lenient with me actually, letting me live here and work at the WRO and only sending me minimal amount of work. Perhaps they've realized that I am _never_ going to be the ruler they want me to be, and my talents lie in saving the world rather than deciding things like whether expanding Wutai's fish market is a good idea or whatever else I could never be bothered to listen to.

The only time off I _do_ get is time off from Tifa is to go on a mission for Reeve, and the time off from Reeve is to tend to the bar so Tifa can go on a break with Cloud or something. I am one of the busiest members of Avalanche! Well, I'm the only one with two jobs anyway:

Cid is captain of the WRO air force. This requires minimal work unless some twisted army of Shinra turns up, and in the mean time, he sits on his ass all day drinking tea and pissing off a heavily pregnant Shera.

Barret looks for oil, and other resources to replace Mako, also for the WRO. I know he has _plenty_ of time off though, because he frequently visits Marlene and takes her to see Elmyra.

Reeve is head of the WRO, common knowledge, and _never_ has any time off, like me. The difference between us though is that he has no time off _OPTIONALLY_, and sends a robot cat to socialize instead of himself. He seriously needs to _get a life_.

Cloud works hard as well, as a delivery boy. He could however get some help with this, but he chooses not to because although he's pulled his head out of his ass now, he still needs some brooding time, just like someone _else_ I know. Cloud also has a job with the WRO. Well, I say job, but it's more of an oh-shit-something-to-do-with-Sephiroth-get-Cloud-in thing. So not really a job. It's more of an obligation to the world (which can't seem to do anything for itself) as no one else can defeat Sephiroth, therefore anything to do with Sephiroth is Cloud's job. I guess he is head of the department of _all-things-Sephiroth_. I don't think that's all together fair, because _come on_, it must be tiring and boring and gawd damn annoying having to kill the same guy _over_ and _over _again!

Nanaki is the guardian of Cosmo Canyon. I have no idea what this entails. It sounds important, but it also sounds _boring_. If it is anything like the five guardians of the pagoda (Shake, Staniv, Gorky, Chekov and Godo), then you basically sit around on your ass all day debating whether women should have the right inherit property, and forcing amazing and attractive princesses to marry men twice the age of their fathers. But I don't think it is. Whatever it is, it keeps Nanaki tied up all of the time. Either that or he can't be bothered to visit except on reunions.

Tifa is a very busy woman. Not as busy as she was since I stepped in though (I am amazing and amazingness deserves some _time off!)_. She works in the bar, looks after the kids, looks after the house, keeps Cloud from angsting his ass off, and saves the world when is needs to be saved. I have a lot of respect for Teef. She is about as overworked as I am.

Vincent works for the WRO. I have no idea what his official job actually is. I think he's just a bit of a handy man. Does whatever, whenever, however. This handy man thing isn't full time though and he gets _copious_ amounts of time off because he frequently lounges around the bar doing nothing, or trots off with Shelke (like now for instance) for months at a time, _ignoring his calls and texts_. Bastard. I suppose he gets all of this time off for his deed of saving all of our asses. That's fair…I guess. His other jobs include hiding from fan girls and melting small sexy ninjas. He doesn't get paid for these though. Hiding from fan girls means he doesn't get raped, and he must get kicks out of melting small sexy ninjas. Again, bastard.

So that's what I was thinking about whilst sitting in my kick ass office, however, at a ridiculously early time, so I was unable to appreciate its kick ass-ness, trying not to fall asleep after the late night I'd spent with Tifa, serving people who had no lives other than getting drunk and wishing either Cloud didn't exist, or I grew a much larger chest. This was one of those mornings that I had off from the bar, but instead of having a nice long lie in, I had to come into the office. Upon coming into the office, I was sent an email saying Reeve had to deal with something that had come up, and he would call me shortly after he had finished dealing with whatever the hell he had to deal with, to tell me he could now see me to tell me whatever he dragged me in in the first place for.

This phone call came, _an hour and a half later_. By this time, I was no longer exhausted and cranky, but extremely _pissed off_ as well. I raised my head from its slumped position of leaning on the desk, and glared at the ringing phone, before snatching it up. I didn't say anything, but just _glared_, even though Reeve couldn't see me; maybe if I glared hard enough some kind of glare-aura would pass through the phone and let Reeve know _just_ how _pissed off_ I was.

"Good morning Yuffie!" Reeve's overly cheerful voice greeted. The glare-aura obviously hadn't reached him. Unfortunately, I couldn't glare any harder without getting a painful head ache. I didn't have Vincent's glaring capabilities.

"What?" I demanded, in a not so polite tone of voice.

"I've just finished up, so would you please come to my office now?"

I slammed the phone down without answering, and marched out of my office, slamming the door shut behind me. Through the very thick fog of pissed off-ness that was clouding my mind, I realized Reeve had asked me to come to his _office_, not the conference room, which could mean _nothing good_ for my situation of _needing_ time off. Why? Because whatever it was he needed me for was too important to be sent an email about. Emails I usually got were boring old paperwork, so his summons weren't about some high importance paperwork that needed to be completed (thank Leviathan), and if I did have high importance paperwork needing to be completed, his snobby I-like-to-think-I'm-his-secretary-although-I'm-not-because-Reeve-doesn't- have-one would have sent me a toffee-nosed memo. She really is a stuck up cow bitch. Yes, that is the name I have given her because, one, I don't know her real name, and two; I can't call her one without the other because just cow, or just bitch doesn't cover the extensity of her cowish bitchy personality and behavior.

Even _Vincent_ dislikes her. _Vincent_ doesn't really dislike _anyone_, because he's a gentle man and tries to think the best of everyone. Except Hojo. And Sephiroth. So you see, this cow bitch ranks somewhere behind Hojo and Sephiroth in his _people-I-dislike-list_. That is how awful she is.

_Anyway_, other emails I got gave me the information I needed for missions, and I, as head of the department, got these emails before the briefing meetings for said missions to inform the necessary people who needed to be briefed_, which were held in the conference room. _I however, was going to his _office_, which could only mean he was briefing me _directly_, which could only mean I was the _only_ _one_ being briefed which could only mean a _hell of a lot of work in the near future._

"Ah Yuffie. Thank you for bearing with me. I've thankfully sorted out the delay of the-" Reeve greeted as I barged into his office without knocking.

"Reeve, I couldn't care any gawd damn less about whatever the fuck it was that kept me waiting an hour and a half. All I care about is the fact I didn't get to bed till three o'clock this morning, and then I had to get up at half six this same morning to have enough time to walk here so I would get here on time for a meeting with you which was extremely important, and supposedly _couldn't wait_!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Well, it is important, but unfortunately, something even more so came up. Anyway, it's a fifteen minute drive from Seventh heaven. Couldn't you have borrowed Cloud and Tifa's car?" Reeve asked. Couldn't _he_ have just _told_ me _before_ I came _out_ that I was going to have to _wait_ _an hour and a half_?

"Cloud…Cloud hid the keys from me!" I muttered furiously. The _jerk_ doesn't 'approve' of my driving style. Two things Cloud! I don't _care_ if you approve or not, and you need to _remove_ the stick that seems to be _wedged_ in your _ass_, "and that is completely irrelevant-"

"Hid them?" Reeve didn't seem to realize that he had just _interrupted_ a _cranky_, _exhausted_, and _pissed off savior_ of the fricking world-_three-times-in-a-gawd-damn-row_, "Since when did _Cloud stop_ you? I thought you said _no one_ stops a _ninja_-"

"REEVE!" I yelled, with stream probably billowing from my ears; didn't he realize that he had kept me waiting _one and a half hours_ that I could have used as _valuable sleeping time_, and had then proceeded to use my _own_ words _against_ me when I was _not_ in the _mood at all_? Obviously _not_. "WHAT DID YOU WANT ME FOR?"

Reeve simply took the steam and shouting in his stride and gestured to the seat in front of his _very_ cluttered desk (cluttered as in stacked so high with paperwork I could barely see him over it at all, but reminder: he chose this OPTIONALLY), before turning his eyes to his computer screen.

"If you would like to take a seat," He said, not looking up. I snorted indignantly, but nonetheless sat down. I crossed my arms and crossed my legs, and stared stonily at Reeve, who was tapping something into the computer. If he wanted to be able to have kids (not Cait Siths), he needed to remember he had already kept me waiting _long enough_.

"I'm sure you're aware of why you're here," He said, looking up. I nodded.

"You want me to go on a mission," I replied.

"Yes. You have this weekend off from the bar don't you?"

Not any more I didn't! Instead of saying this though, I simply sighed in resignation and sagged in my chair. "Yes Reeve. I have this weekend off,"

"Good. I'll make arrangements…" Reeve trailed off, looking back at his computer screen.

"What is this mission then?" I asked quickly, my resignation turning to irritation. I had just given up my weekend I knew I wouldn't, and didn't bother hoping, I'd get off in _addition_ to the crappy morning I'd already had today, and he was drifting off _again_.

"Right. Yes. I'll cut straight to the chase. You've been tracking and retrieving data and information about the exploitations and experiments of Shinra," He answered.

"Yeah. I thought you said you were going to cut straight to the chase," I said impatiently. He was telling me what I already knew: My main project was digging out the many secret Shinra had kept, such as the experiments they had carried out, so we could build a clear picture of Shinra, without gaps of the unknown filling it. Shinra was a _very_ considerate company you see, only making the 'good' things public, and keeping the 'bad' hidden, so not to _scar_ society, because after all, society wouldn't have been able to _stop_ them, and if they _knew_ about the vile things Shinra did, it would have _spoilt_ society's _piece of mind_. And if any of society did happen to find out…well that was what the Turks were for. They worded inside the department of public safety. And if that meant assassination or kidnap then that what they did. And it was for the good of the rest of society. I don't know about anyone else, but I would have been happy to pay the price for knowing something I shouldn't though if it had been Vincent Valentine knocking on my door: I would have died in the knowledge that true sexiness _did_ exist.

I wonder, would even Avalanche have been able to stop Shinra had Sephiroth not become our target? Although Sephiroth had been a great general, he had also been Shinra's curse. It was only a matter of time before he found out about how he was created, took his revenge on Shinra for it. The only thing was, Sephiroth wanted revenge on not only Shinra, but _life itself_ and to destroy the _whole world_, not just the Shinra Corporation. Thanks to him and his meteor, Shinra was destroyed, but thanks to Avalanche, Aerith and the Lifestream, we managed to save the rest of the world and destroy Sephiroth. But think about it, had Sephiroth _not_ have gone crazy, how _would_ Shinra have been destroyed?

_Anyway_, although not _all_ of Shinra's secrets were going to be uncovered, the point of my department's research was to save us from any _other_ nasty surprises, like Deepground had been for instance. Or even Sephiroth _again_, and that would be nice for Cloud. As far as we knew, there could be something building up (like Deepground) that we didn't know about, because of Shinra's _consideration_ of not worrying the public and due to their sudden demise via Sephiroth, they didn't have chance to tell anyone about the many skeletons in their closets, so we have to do it the hard way.

"Yes Yuffie, but your impatience is clouding you," Reeve sighed. I opened my mouth in indignation, but he carried on before I could tell him just why my 'impatience was clouding me'.

"Thus far, most of the information and data you have needed had been right here in Midgar, in the ruins and basements of Shinra HQ, but we know there are other places where Shinra conducted their…research, like Shinra manor for instance," He explained.

"Your point being?" I asked impatiently. My patience had not only been _worn thin_ during the _past hour and a half_, but it had been worn away _so much_ that there was practically _nothing left_.

Reeve continued. "We've located such a place," Suddenly my crankiness and pissyness disappeared, and I leaned forward, my interest captured, "and it hasn't been touched since the fall of Shinra. Not even by Deepground,"

"So it might contain information and research about a completely new experiment," I concluded.

"Yes, which could possibly lead to a new threat. We know Hojo was the founder of Deepground, and if Deepground didn't touch this place, that means Hojo probably wasn't aware of it, and the possible experiments conducted there, as Hojo was the primary conductor of experiments. There could be something completely new hidden there, lead by someone else. We need any data and information that is stored there. You see now why I want you specifically for this mission?" Perhaps Reeve did know how to lift my bad moods with that 'you specifically' part. I wanted a bit more flattery that that subtle bit through, because that bit of subtle flattery could have been unintentional; I am good at my job. Vain or not it's _true_!

"Specifically me? It sounds like a simple retrieval mission," I commented, in an offended tone.

Reeve smiled. "Then I repeat, it hasn't been touched since the fall of Shinra. Not only will it be in a similar state to Shinra manor, but it may be infested by more than just monsters. It may have been used for experiments, and the results of these experiments may still be there, such as Soldier mutants, which are, as you know, Soldiers overdosed on Mako. There could be things we've never encountered there. I don't want to risk any of our Soldiers,"

"Jeez, thanks Reeve.I You don't want to risk any soldiers going to a crapped up creepy mansion filled with an unknown amount of possibly unknown bloodthirsty, Mako injected monsters , but you'll risk me going _alone_ to said crapped up creepy mansion filled with an unknown amount of possibly unknown bloodthirsty, Mako injected monsters. Thanks. That's special," I snorted.

"Hardly Yuffie. You're more than capable of getting yourself out of any situation, and I highly doubt you'd come off worse than any monster," That was more like the flattery I'd anticipated. I smiled, "I need this mission accomplished. No mistakes. There could be vital information contained in that place. I trust this mission to no one else," My smile grew even more. He trusted me to accomplish this mission with no mistakes, and only me. Reeve was _very_ good at lifting my bad moods, "And I'm not sending you alone. Reno's going with you,"

My smile slipped right off my face.

"WHAT?"

OOO

I was _seething_. Absolutely _furious_. I wanted to _throw_ something that would _smash_ into _thousands_ of pieces. I wanted to _strangle_ someone and _beat_ them into _oblivion_. I wanted to _burn_ something _down_. Seriously. I was so mad I was not far from summoning a _meteor_.

But I was also intensely _depressed_. I moaned a moan of _pure suffering_. I sat slumped with my head cradled in my arms on the table. Was Leviathan angry? Had I done something to upset him? Was their some other God that hated every _fiber_ of my being, every _moment_ of my existence? This was _beyond_ the line of bad luck. It was _so far away_ from the line of bad luck that I could no longer _see_ the line of bad luck.

I was so depressed and angry I was practically on the verge of tears. And Ninjas never cry. Well, except sleep deprived ones, but that's a complete other story I've already told. Another time Ninjas are permitted to cry is when they are forced by cruel, cold hearted, no, in fact, _no hearted_, WRO commissioners to go on missions with _Reno_.

I moaned again, and banged my head on the table. I was so far gone in self pity that I didn't even feel any pain.

"Ouch. One moment, Yuffie banging her head on the table. Jeez Yuffie. That must of hurt. What's up?" A voice asked. I slowly uncurled my arms from around my head, and lifted my head off of the table. I felt a distant throbbing from said head. Cloud stood there, on the phone to someone. I guess that's what the 'one moment' thing was about. There was a strong look of concern on his face.

"Gods Yuffie. You look awful! Seriously what wrong? I know you're missing Vincent but I didn't think that would make you bang your head on the table like that so hard-"

"I have to go on a mission with _Reno_!" I wailed, sorrow filling every inch of my loud, anguished howl, so completely desolated and agonized that I let the Vincent comment slide past without a thought. Cloud stared at me, blinking. Confusion was etched across his features.

"And going on a mission with Reno means you have whack your head on the table so hard a giant lump forms there," He said sarcastically. I reached my hand to my forehead; he was right. I had a massive lump there. Leviathan, I couldn't even feel it!

"What's so bad about going on a mission with Reno?" Cloud asked cluelessly. I looked at him, half heartedly glaring.

"Uh, because he has some kind of crazy infatuation with me that means he'll be trying to seduce me for the _entire time_," I answered. Oh _gawd_. He so _would_ be doing that for the _entirety_ of the _mission_!

"What's so bad about that? Surely _some_ romantic attention isn't unwelcome? You're not exactly getting any from _someone else_," Cloud replied, a sly smile adorning his face. I wasn't sure if that comment was an insult or insinuation. He seemed to be suggesting someone _specifically_ rather someone in _general_. I swear to Leviathan, if Tifa told him about me liking Vincent, she _will_ regret it.

It also made me wonder who was on the other end of the phone. That comment seemed to be for their benefits as well as mine by the way Cloud was smirking.

"Quite frankly Cloud, I would rather _give up materia_ than welcome _any_ kind of romantic attention from Reno. Is that a simple enough term to make _just_ how clear how little I want to do with him?" I asked sardonically.

"Ouch. That is harsh for you Yuffie. Poor Reno. He obviously doesn't realise just how unwelcome his attentions are," Cloud replied dryly.

"Try telling _him_ that. He just won't give up!" I snorted.

"If it bothers you that much, just ask Reeve to send someone else," Cloud suggested.

"I did! I argued with him for hours! But _apparently_ no one else is available, and even if there was, Reno's just the person to accompany me, as he's a Turk that worked with Shinra, and he'll know what we're looking for blah blah blah," I scoffed.

"I expect you told him why you didn't want to go with him," Cloud stated, one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, but apparently 'because he's a giant jerk who doesn't know where to shove it' doesn't count as a valid argument," I said glumly, "And he wouldn't let me go alone,"

"Well, that's a sensible decision. It's better to have someone with you in case you get injured. That's why I never sent anyone out alone," he answered in a common sense kind of tone.

"I'm a ninja! I'd be fine on my own! I was fine for the two years I was solo before I met you!" I cried indignantly, "But anyway, that's not the reason he won't let me go alone. He's concerned for his own safety, not mine," I disagreed, slumping in my seat again, "Somebody's threatened him not to let me go alone. He had the same look on his face when I was arguing with him to the one he gets when _I_ threaten him,"

"Really? That's _interesting_," Cloud said. I felt disconcerted at his expression; He was grinning smugly, like he had just found out something really advantageous to him, a perfect piece of evidence, or a piece of juicy gossip "I wonder _who_ threatened him," he continued, but it didn't seem directed at me. I wondered again who he was on the phone to. Whoever it was stayed stubbornly silent at Clouds jibes because Cloud was definitely taunting them; he certainly didn't sound like he was wondering who. He sounded like he knew exactly who it had been…I was immediately put on my guard.

"Do you _know_ something Cloud?" I asked suspiciously.

"Huh?" Cloud asked his eyes focussing on me, and the smug smirk disappearing, "Oh, no. Any ideas who threatened him?" he asked hurriedly

He knew something. And it was something to do with who was on other end of the phone.

"No," I replied, my eyes narrowed, "But whoever did threaten me better hope I don't run into them, because when I find out I'll show them exactly _just_ how capable I'd be on my own,"

Cloud smiled. "I'm sure whoever did just had your best interests at heart,"

The smile at me had turned into that smug smirk again and it was directed at the person on the phone, causing my ninja senses kicked in to deduct who was on the phone and why Cloud would be taunting them about _me_. However, when my ninja-ness _did_ kick in, it kicked out my depression about Reno and the mission, which had been dulling my throbbing head. It hit me full force, distracting me from my deductions. I moaned.

"Damn it! My head!" My hand flew to the tender lump. I had a _killer _head ache. As in _killer-headache-no-exaggeration_.

"I told you you'd hit it hard," Cloud said. For all his concern earlier, the jerk didn't sound very sympathetic.

"Yes, _thank you_ Cloud," I glared at him. I was not it a good mood now. I was in a bitchy, blame someone for everything, pissed off mood, "Gawd damnit! This is all Vincent's fault! Stupid fricking vampire!"

"Vincent's fault? But you just said you didn't know who…" Cloud trailed off, looking rather taken aback at my sudden accusation, "Well you can't really blame him. You did get injured on your last mission…" Cloud trailed off at my expression of _what the frick are you on about you crazy Chocobo headed buster sword wielding weirdo_.

"What are we talking about again?" Cloud asked looking confused and pained.

"I was saying, It Vincent's fault," I said slowly, so he could soak in each word, "If he were here, I wouldn't be in this situation because Reeve would have sent _him_ with me not gawd damn _Reno_!" I exploded, the talking slowly so Cloud could keep up thing flying out of the window and off into the stars, "And if he did _still_ try to send Reno, I would have a better argument such as the fact I can actually _stand_ Vincent! And Reeve couldn't pull that '_he's a Turk and so knows what we're looking for_' crap because Vincent used to be a freaking Turk! GAWD! I _HATE_ MY LIFE!" My voice had steadily risen in pitch and volume, and Cloud now looked slightly fearful.

"Yuffie calm down. It's not that bad-"

"Yes it is gawd damnit!" I snapped. Then I took a deep breath and tried to do as he said, "Anyway, who the hell were you talking about?" I asked in a steadier tone.

"Huh?"

"You know! The 'I can't blame him' or whatever," I prompted, trying to distract myself from the distressing thoughts. A very worried-almost scared- expression suddenly came over Clouds face.

"Um…uh…" He stuttered. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well? Who?"

"I was talking about…" Cloud seemed to cast around for the name, until the mysterious person he was on the phone seemed to say something, "_Reeve_! Yes! It was Reeve," Cloud burst out, "You can't blame _Reeve_! You know, for sending someone with you. Even if that person had to be Reno. You got injured last time you went on a mission on your own…" Cloud trailed off, once again, discouraged by my expression of suspicion.

"Who are you on the phone to Cloud?"

"What? No-one!"

"Well clearly it's someone! Who are you talking to?"

"I'm talking to you! And you wouldn't know who I'm on the phone to!"

"Try me!"

"No! You won't know them!"

"You're lying! It written all over your face! Tell me, or I'll find out myself!"

"For Gaia's sake Yuffie, why do you need to know?"

"Why won't you just tell me?"

"Because it's not important!"

"Then why won't you just tell me?"

"Because its none of your business!"

"Fine, I'll get it myself!"

"Don't you dare-"

"Give me that phone!"

"Yuffie no!"

"I swear to Leviathan Cloud, hand it over or I'll shove it up your spikey ass!"

"What do you mean spiky ass?"

"GIVE ME THAT DAMN PHONE!"

"NO!"

"RIGHT THAT'S IT!"

I hurled myself at him, forgetting about my headache. He yelped and jumped backwards, hitting the kitchen counter. The phone flew out of his hand. We both stared at it as it flew through the air and fell to the floor in slow motion. Then normal speed returned and we both launched ourselves at it. And painfully collided.

"OWW!"

"GAWD DAMNIT CLOUD! _MOVE_!"

Cloud _somehow_ managed to shake me off, and swooped, sweeping the phone off the floor.

"NO!" I screamed. I ran at him, but he held it high above his head, "No fair Cloud!" I wailed, trying to jump and snatch it, but with no avail. Damn my height!

"Sorry Yuffie, but you're just a tad too short," He smirked. I stopped jumping. He did NOT just say that. He did NOT just diss my height.

I tackled him. He went down like a stunned mullet. The pathetic flail he gave was _not_ one you would expect from the _hero_ who conquered _Sephiroth_ _three_ _times_.

I snatched the phone from his hand whilst he moaned dramatically, winded, and scrambled to the other side of the kitchen.

"AH-HA! You fail Cloud! Epically!" I yelled triumphantly, before turning away from his pathetic form, and speaking into the phone, "Hello?"

There was no reply. Just my damn luck. I finally get the fricking phone for the caller to be some socially challenged uncooperative person.

"Helloooooo?" I repeated, "Who is this- YAAAHHHH! HOLY GAWD DAMN _MOTHER_ EFFER CLOUD! ARE YOU _TRYING_ TO _BREAK_ MY _HAND_?"

I whimpered, cradling said hand, which had a moment ago, been holding the phone, before some stupid, ridiculously strong, _mako freak_ stole it, _breaking_ my hand in the process.

"Got the phone back-no! Look, calm down, I didn't hurt her. I'm not Reeve! Your threats won't work on me! She's fine! She's just exaggerating as usual-"

"No I bloody well am not! I think you broke my hand you stupid Chocobo head!" I whimpered, "Hang on! Reeve? Threats? Who-"

"I'll call you back," Cloud hurriedly hung up. Then he noticed my hand, which had started to swell.

"Shit Yuffie! I'm sorry! I forget my strength sometimes! Here, let me heal that-"

"No way you mako mutant! I don't want any more injuries!" I said, glaring at him.

"I'm sorry! Yuffie please just let me-"

"What in _Gaia_ are you two doing up here?" Tifa suddenly appeared with her hands on her hips, "Do you know how much noise you've been causing?"

"He broke my hand!" I cried out.

"Look I said I'm sorry!" Cloud exclaimed, looking remorseful, but sounding frustrated. Tifa looked at my inflamed hand.

"Holy Jenova Cloud!" She also exclaimed, rushing over to me and glaring at him with all the force of her evil eye. I actually felt sorry for him in spite of him breaking my hand and all; that evil eye is _fucking scary_. Possibly even _worse_ than Vincent's death glare. But then again, those don't work on me, so Tifa's glares would seem scary…

"Well _she_ tackled me!" Cloud made a pitiful attempt to clear his name.

"Well _you_ insulted my height!" I snapped.

"Well _you_ stole my phone!" Cloud shot back.

"Well _you_ wouldn't tell me who was on the other end!" I retorted.

"Well _you_ wouldn't mind your damned business!" He fired at me.

"Well _you _were lying to me_!"_ I threw back.

"Well _you_-" Cloud started

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" Tifa yelled, "You're acting like children! Marlene and Denzel are more mature than the both of you!" She huffed.

"But he-"

"But she-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Tifa interrupted the both of us in the tone of voice she uses when the kids don't want to go to bed. Cloud crossed his arms and glared at the floor (suspiciously like Denzel does when he's told off) and I pouted and defiantly looked at the spot on the wall behind Tifa (suspiciously like Marlene does when she's told off).

"Right, Cloud, go get a cure materia, and Yuffie, sit down and don't even think about stealing it," Tifa ordered briskly. Cloud stomped off to get said materia, and I sat down in said chair. Cloud came back with the materia, and the kids in tow, and handed it to Tifa, who healed my hand.

"What was all the shouting about?" Denzel asked curiously.

"What happened to your hand Aunt Yuffie?" Marlene questioned just as curiously.

"I do not expect you to act like this in the future," Tifa said sternly before me or Cloud could reply to the kids, "If you can't play nice then you can't play together-"

"WHO WAS ON THAT DAMN PHONE?"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"SURE AS HELL IT IS! NOW TELL ME _WHO_!"

"SCREW YOU YUFFIE! I'M _NOT_ SAYING!"

"THEN I'LL DRAG IT FROM YOU WHEN I SHOVE YOUR _OWN_ SWORD UP YOUR ASS!"

"GO AUNT YUFFIE!"

"TELL HER WHERE SHE CAN SHOVE HER THREATS CLOUD!"

"MARLENE, DENZEL, YOU STAY OUT OF THIS OR YOU'RE BOTH GROUNDED!"

"BUT TIFA-"

"THEN IT'LL BE MY COLD DEAD ASS YOU SHOVE IT UP!"

"THEN LEVIATHAN HELP YOU CLOUD BECAUSE WHO EVER WAS ON THAT PHONE IS THE REASON I'VE GOT TO GO ON A MISSION WITH _FUCKING RENO_!"

"RIGHT, THAT'S IT, CLOUD, YUFFIE, GO TO YOUR ROOMS!"

"…What?" we both stared at Tifa.

"YOU HEARD ME! I WON'T HAVE YOU SWEARING AND SETTING AN EXAMPLE LIKE THAT TO THE KIDS, NOW SCARPER, OR GAIA HELP ME, I _WILL_ USE FINAL HEAVEN!"

We scarpered.

O

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My Laptop just bleeped. I'd just received a new email.

_Dear daughter,_

_Please review and approve attached reports. I suggest you don't disapprove the decisions made daughter. If you do, you'll have to come over and partake in the meeting, and the council are on a raving marriage march at the moment._

_Oh and please have them done and sent by no later than this evening._

_Your father Godo._

GAWD DAMNIT!

* * *

_**Yes, no Vincent this chapter. Well no physical appearance. He was it in. Vaguely. Yuffie just didn't know, because she's lamenting about going-on-amission-with-Reno. Who can blame her for being a little slow?**_

_**And who knew Cloud could talk so much? I certainly didn't. I wrote it all without thinking and then it was like oh, well Cloud can be pretty chatty and childlike. Oh well. He's getting married. And it doesn't seem that OCC does it? Oh, and by the way, once i've got this whole bit out of the way, i'll get some wedding planning in.**_

_**By the way, Cloud did feature quite a bit in this chapter. He and Yuffie have a strictly brother/sister, comrade, friends relationship. Just to make things clear. Cloud is suited for no one other than Tifa, and perhaps Aerith, but she died and lives with Zack now. And anyway, Cloud is supposedly Zack as well, so Aerith might of just been attracted to the Zack part of him. Anyway, what ever floats your boat. This isn't about who Cloud likes, its about who Yuffie likes. As long as you like Yuffentine it doesn't matter who you prefer Cloud with. I don't want to start a Cloti/Clerith war.**_

_**About the next chapter. Yes, I have written the very beginning, but i'm having severe writer block with with it. Damn Reno. After all the fuss in this chapter about the mission with him, he is supposed to be in the next one. I say supposed because I am about ready to tear my hair out/throw my laptop out of the window in frustration because i'm having so much trouble with writing him. **_

_**But its not just Reno. I do love writing this, but my muse comes and goes. And it goes alot more than it comes now. I'm not giving up on this or anything, because I really do love writing it, but its just not as easy to write as it used to be. And combined with the Reno problem, it means the next chapter isn't going to appear for a long time. As in another-three-months-perhaps-even-longer-time. I'm really sorry. Plus i'm back to college now, so i'm going to have schoolwork and GCSEs to deal with as well. But if anyone knows of a really good Reno fanfiction (not RenoxYuffie though!), please send me a link. The more familar I am with his character, the easier it may be to write as him!**_

_**Thanks again to everyone who reviews, favorites and alerts, and please review again this time! I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, but I fear its going to be a long wait, and i really am sorry. You have no idea how frustrated I am with myself (and Reno). In the mean time, thank you for reading!**_


	14. The Reno Riddle

_**I need to apologise for not updating in seven months. Seven months. And that is precisely why i'm not going to waffle on about my excuses.**_

_**But more importantly, a massive thank you is due to everyone who has read, favorited, alerted and reviewed, and for sticking with this even now after seven months of silence. You're all amazing and I couldn't write this without all of your support!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't not own any of the Final Fantasy VII compilation, or the characters. If I did I wouldn't be writing this right now; I'd be too busy making Yuffentine so clearly canon no-one could say it was a fan pairing without being sued!**_

_**One last thing, although i've finally updated, i'm not happy with this chapter. I mentioned in the last chapter that I was having problems writing Reno in this character. Be warned, I still feel he's out of character, but I can't obsess over it for any longer. I hope you enjoy this 23-pages-on-a-word-document-long chapter!**_

* * *

I was shattered. Sick of my yawning, Tifa had let me off bar duty early and sent me to bed. I had got as far as the kitchen before collapsing in a chair and sagging forward onto the table. My head was still killing from the abuse it had suffered a few hours ago.

"I'm getting a strong feeling of déjà vu,"

Great. Cloud again. It was his entire fault Tifa told us off! If he had just told me who was on the damn phone earlier, none of it would have happened!

"Are you on the phone to that jerk who threatened Reeve again?" I asked, my question muffled from the cocoon of my arms.

"No,"

"Not really a _strong_ sense of déjà vu then is it?"

"Well, I've just walked into the kitchen to sitting in the exactly same position as earlier. It's still déjà vu," He reasoned.

"Except I'm not hitting my head on the table this time," I responded, raising my head, and wincing at the painful ache, "I've still got a splitting headache from that. Do you know where the painkillers are? I can't find them,"

"For good reason!" Cloud snorted, "As if I'd leave painkillers around for _you_ to find,"

I tried glaring at him but instantly stopped when it tripled the throbbing in my head.

"Leviathan be damned Cloud, _please_!" I begged.

"No way! Do you not remember what happened _last_ _time_ I gave you pain killers?" He replied incredulously.

"Well excuse me, but it wasn't _my_ fault the painkillers you gave me were extra extra extra strong ones because normal ones don't work on your messed up mako enhanced body!" I exclaimed. Jeez, he is so tight arsed!

"Well it's not _my_ fault you failed to read the instructions!" He argued back.

"Gawd Cloud, _please_ give me the painkillers. My head is _killing_, I'm _completely_ exhausted, my hand _still_ feels disjointed, and I have to on a mission with _Reno_ tomorrow. I need _some_ relief, and I'm hardly going to take the whole bottle again!" I pleaded with him. He looked at me undecidedly.

"Fine," He finally broke, "But you take two _only_, and be patient. They'll kick in if you give them a chance. If your head still aches in the morning, you take another two then, but _only_ in the morning," He instructed, before retrieving the pain killers from right on top of the Fridge freezer and handing me two. Well, it was no wonder I couldn't find them. That thing was twice the size of me!

"Thanks Cloud," I mumbled, my voice overflowing with gratitude. I swallowed them immediately, not bothering with a drink.

"I am really sorry about your hand earlier Yuffie," He suddenly said. I must have reminded him of his forgotten angst in my little appeal. I guess if I didn't forgive him he would mourn it for the rest of his life and cancel the wedding and run off on Fenrir to mope about it for a few years. Well, until Sephiroth appeared again, and kicked his ass into gear to remind him of what he still had. But by then I think Tifa will have eloped with Rude. I've heard from a pissed up Elena that he's got a crush on her. No one would blame Tifa if she did.

"Don't worry about it Cloud. It was my fault in the first place," I smiled weakly.

"It was?" He asked quizzically, eyebrows raised.

"Well I did kind of assault you," I smiled ruefully.

"But I didn't tell you who was on the phone," He reminded me.

"Jeesh Cloud. I tell you it's my fault and you shift the blame back onto yourself? Do you want it be your fault?" I rolled my eyes.

"Well usually you would be casting off all blame and laying it all on me," Cloud stated.

"Yeah. Well…I'm pretty tired. If I weren't so damned beat I would be wrestling the truth from you right now, Kisaragi style," I admitted.

"I don't think I want to know what 'Kisaragi style' is," Cloud chuckled.

"No. I don't think you do," I grinned back.

"You do look pretty drained Yuffie. If you're going on a mission you want to be well rested, especially if you're going to be beating Reno off with a stick. You should go to sleep," he advised me, suddenly moving about the kitchen.

"Yeah, I know, but I've got to review and verify some stuff from dad and the council yet. It's already late," I rubbed my hand over my eyes, "And arrange some kind of transport for tomorrow. For a WRO commissioner, Reeve doesn't think everything through. I don't suppose you've got any deliveries to Healin lodge in the morning have you? That's where I've got to meet Reno and where Reeve's arranged transport is," I asked doubtfully.

"No, but I'm going that way. I can make a detour," He answered pulling out a mug.

"You can?" I asked disbelievingly. I hadn'ed really expect him to be able to give me a lift.

"Yes. But I'm going early, and I won't be able to wait for you in the morning if you're not ready," He replied, and suddenly setting down a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of me, "Now do yourself a favour, and have an early night. If the work for your father is already late, a little longer isn't going to make too much of a difference," he winked.

"Thanks Cloud!" I exclaimed, hugging him around the middle from my chair. He chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"Don't mention it. Now go to bed," He instructed. I obligingly stood up, picked up my delicious smelling hot chocolate, and walked out. I would have considered him a really great and considerate guy if he'd have told me who was on the phone earlier… but he hadn't. So I turned before I reached the door and added "Hey Cloud. Your nice deeds don't change the fact that when I'm with it I'm going to find out who was on that phone from you Kisaragi style,"

"No Yuffie," He chuckled again.

"Glad we got that cleared up. Night!" and with that I did what he had told me to. I went to my room, ignored my laptop, got into my pyjamas, got into bed, and took a sip of my hot chocolate. And you know what? Cloud could make a _damn good_ hot chocolate.

OOO

It was still dark when I stumbled down the stairs in the morning, groggy and barely awake. I went into the kitchen to see Cloud drinking coffee and eating toast. I dumped my pack by the back door and put my shruiken on the table next to one of Cloud's giant swords. It was a good job Tifa was still asleep, or she would have gone bat shit _insane_ upon seeing us disregard her _no-weapons-lying-around-especially-on-the-kitchen-table_ rule. Judging by the way Cloud's sword was slung across the table though, he was obviously a bit of a rebel too.

"How do you get up at this time every morning Cloud?" I mumbled blearily.

"Habit. I worked for Shinra. If you didn't get up early bad things happened to you," he replied shortly and bluntly. I didn't bother asking what those bad things were; I think I was better off not knowing.

Once Cloud had finished his breakfast, I jolted out of my almost-back-to-sleep-state and strapped my shruiken to my back while Cloud put is plate and mug in the sink. He picked up my pack and walked outside to the garage. I waited outside while he stowed my pack on Fenrir and reversed out. I shut the garage door behind him. That's when I realised I hadn't thought this through. _At all. In the slightest_.

"Yuffie?" Cloud asked. Then he noticed my slightly fearful glance at his motorcycle. And the bastard grinned, "You've never been on a motorcycle before have you?"

I shook my head. My voice seemed to have deserted me.

Clouds grin grew. "You're not _scared_ are you Yuffie?"

I glared at him, and climbed on behind him. "Ninjas are afraid of _nothing_ Cloud," I sniffed, whilst inwardly praying to Leviathan _to let me survive this_.

"If you say so. Just hold on tight," Cloud answered, still grinning. Why was he grinning? Why? What was there to grin about? I mean-

The bike lurched forward, and all thoughts flew from my mind. My grip around Cloud tightened _to say the least_. I'm surprised he was able to _breath_e. I bit my tongue hard to stop myself from screaming, because ninja are afraid of _nothing_ and _do not scream_. I was glad I had skipped breakfast because boy did I feel sick. I shut my eyes so the houses and shops and cars and lights stopped spiralling past. Gawd, how could Cloud stand this, let alone _like_ it?

"You alright back there?" Cloud shouted. I think my reply was something like "ARRGGGHHH" Whatever it was, it made Cloud laugh.

A little while later, when I got used to it, my body relaxed a little. My arms were still tight around Cloud, but I opened my eyes. We were on the very out skirts of the city now, and dawn was creeping across the skies, bathing them pink. The gold light stained the plains in front of us and made them glow. There was no one else out on the roads, and it was completely quiet except for the steady roar of Fenrir. I lifted my head and looked around, beginning to see why Cloud liked coming out so early.

"Not so bad is it?" He asked. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I never said it was," I replied, slightly sheepishly.

It really was peaceful. My mind completely cleared, and I relaxed, even forgetting about the trials I faced ahead of _Reno_. I could really see why Cloud enjoyed this so much. I felt embarrassed about clinging to him so tightly, but what else could I do? I wouldn't have minded half so much if it had been Vincent, but then again, who would have minded clinging to Vincent in what would be an extended hug? _Definitely not me_.

"Hey Cloud? Have you heard from Vincent recently?" I asked, the trail of my thoughts prompting the question.

"He's only been gone a few weeks," Cloud answered, sounded bemused. I blushed.

"Well yeah. The inconsiderate jerk never answers my texts though," I pressed.

"He's fine. I spoke to him yesterday. You don't need to worry about him," Cloud replied, sounding amused.

"I wasn't worrying about him," I muttered feeling embarrassed. Vincent was more than capable of taking care of himself; I knew I didn't need to worry about him. Cloud knew I knew that. He also knew that that wasn't the point. I was just embarrassed that he knew that I was worrying about Vincent in the same was he worries about Tifa.

OOO

I woke up feeling extremely disorientated because I didn't remember falling asleep. And something felt _very_ different. For one thing, I wasn't leaning against Cloud. For another, I couldn't hear the roar of Fenrir; instead just the purr of an engine. And finally, I didn't feel the wind whipping past. I opened my eyes. I was strapped in a passenger seat of car.

I _supposed_ to be on a _bike_. A noisy, strange looking, Chocobo haired Hero's _bike_. SO WHY THE HELL WAS I IN A GAWD DAMN CAR?

I did what anyone else in my situation would have done. I _freaked_.

"Whoa whoa! Darlin'! Calm down! It's just me! _Reno_!"

Reno. It was Reno. Fucking _Reno_. For once, I was _glad_ it was him. Not some abductor who would have had more strength than _Jenova_ and _Sephiroth_ and the _remnants_ and gawd knows _what else_ to have been able to abduct me from _Cloud_. However unlikely that was to happen. _Stronger_ than _Sephiroth_? Get real!

"But how? Cloud…Fenrir...we were…I was…" I trailed off, being unable to finish defining what I was, and still feeling extremely disorientated and confused.

"Don't worry princess. You fell asleep on the way over. Me an' Cloud didn't want to wake you when he got to Healin," Reno explained.

"Oh," was my intelligent reply, "I, um, I guess that makes sense," that was even more intelligent that my first go.

That lazy, tom cat grin suddenly lit Reno's face. I'd been what, in the car with him for _two minutes _and he was _already_ about to try something? Actually, I don't know how long I'd been with him for…

"You looked pretty distressed for a moment then," He drawled, "Did you think I was some _crazy_ abductor who was going to try and use you for dirty deeds?"

I blushed, because he was absolutely right.

"Well you might as well be," I muttered. I was going to be fighting him off, 'with a stick' as Cloud had put it, for that very reason of dirty deeds, except he'd be annoying me rather than forcing me as a 'crazy abductor' would have been. To be honest, I think I would have preferred it if he had tried to force me rather than 'charm' me, because that way I could of kicked his ass and he would of got the message of _'piss off, I wouldn't be remotely interested in you if Sephiroth came back and succeeded in his plan of destroying the planet and we were the only two people left in existence'_.

He laughed at my mutter, and we drove in silence for a while.

"He told me to tell you to be careful," Reno suddenly informed me.

"Huh? Sephiroth?" I asked, startled, my mind having been dwelling on my line of thought still.

Reno looked at me strangely, "Sephiroth? What are you smokin' darlin'? _Cloud_," He enunciated.

"Well…that's who I meant! Cloud is Sephiroth's clone…in some obscure way," I reasoned, trying to justify myself.

"You can tell you've just woken up," He commented. Reno I mean. Not Sephiroth. Just to be clear this time.

"Excuse me?" I asked indignantly. "It makes sense!" Kind of…almost…in a way…

"Yeah, and chocobos can fly," Reno answered sarcastically.

"Well you'd better duck in case you get hit by one!" I retorted.

"Because people get hit every day by flying chocobos when they're proved wrong," Reno replied, sarcasm present again, overflowing from his voice.

"Oh screw you," I snapped. Jeesh. What a jerk. I had just woken up; I wasn't in the mood for him. Plus my brain was still sleep-fogged, so my witty responses were still musty.

"Yes please," Reno grinned.

I closed my eyes and remembered that Reno was Elena's friend, and she would be sad if I murdered him.

"One: nil to me,"

"Well…I haven't had any breakfast!" I retorted. My stomach rumbled just as I said this. I metally praised it. A you do.

"You haven't? Do you want to pull over and get some?" Reno asked. There was a somewhat hopeful tone to his voice. I glanced at him suspiciously.

"Haven't you had anything either?"

"Well, yes but drivin' is hungry work!" He answered defensibly, "Look who cares if I've had breakfast? I'm hungry again. When you're hungry, it doesn't need to be justified,"

Well I'd been trying to convince people that that was true for years! It looked like Reno had the right attitude unlike _Tifa_. Who cares if dinner was only going to be twenty minutes? That's a long time when you're hungry! I only want a snack to put me on! It's not my fault I had a bottomless pit for a stomach! It looked like Reno had a similar affliction!

"Well if that's the case then sure," I shrugged, thinking that if the slight motion sickness (which, by the way, is a symptom of my _awesomeness_, _not_ my body letting me down. A ninja's body _never_ lets them down,) the car was causing made me barf up this impending breakfast then it would even the score out, and serve the jerk right for getting _ahead_ of me in the first place. I was Yuffie Kisaragi . I _always_ am the one who was _ahead_.

So, adding to myself that if he tried _anything_, or if this counted as a _date_ in Renoland, I _would_ put him _off_ food _for life,_ we pulled into the nearest service station. And I found out that Tifa can be wrong. So very, _very_ wrong. She once told me no one else on the planet eats as much as I do. Well, _Tifa_, Reno eats _every bit_ as much as I do. In fact it turned into a bit of a competition. It first started with the narrowing of eyes when we saw we'd both got the same amount of food. Then it turned into subtle orders for more food. Then it turned into a full blown battle of scoffing a plate piled high with pancakes one after the other.

"Aw _shit_," Reno moaned, clutching his stomach.

"I think I'm going to hurl," I moaned back, also clutching my stomach. Various empty plates covered the table, the one that had once held an impossible amount of pancakes sitting proudly in the middle, boasting at all the other plates. However, Reno and I were so evenly matched in the art of _stuff-your-face-with-as-much-food-as-you-possibly-can _that we had had to halve the last pancake between us, coming to a clear tie in our mutual munching match.

"You darlin'… well I'd never have thought a princess such as yourself could polish off that amount of food," He commented, still rubbing his stomach.

"Well you put away your fair share," I pointed out.

"Yeah but I'm male," He grinned. And that comment ruined the fun I felt we'd just shared, and completely erased my thought of '_maybe he's not so bad after all'_.

"You're such a sexist pig Reno," I snapped. He grinned again.

"And proud of it,"

I made an irritated kind of snarl/growl, causing the woman who'd just brought our bill to flee. I glanced at said bill, and did a double take.

"_Jebus_! How expensive are these service stations?" I asked.

Reno leant over to see, and whistled.

"Holy shit! We didn't eat that much!" Well we had, but I wasn't going to contradict him, because that bill was _big_.

"Well Reno, looks like _you've_ got a chance to show just how _proud_ a _sexist_ you are, and reinforce the stereotype that men are the providers and so pay," I informed him.

"Like _hell_ I am! _Uh_, I mean, how about _you_ show just how _un_-a-sexiest you are, prove my sexiest view wrong and _you_ pay for it, showing females are just a capable as men at providin'," he answered.

I was seriously tempted to do what he said, and make a stand for the female gender, but I realised that he was just being a manipulative jerk.

"No! Look Reno, _Sephiroth_ is more likely to _return_ than _I_ am to pay that damn bill, so _man up_ and pay it _yourself_!"

"Sephiroth returning is not as unlikely as you think darlin'. He's already returned twice, and you know what people say: third time's the charm!"

"Really?" I asked, distracted, "I thought he'd only come back to life once through the remnants,"

"Didn't Cloud kill him after he burnt Nibelheim into ashes?" Reno asked, seeming confused. The topic had completely changed now to trying to discern how many times Sephiroth actually had died/returned.

"No. Cloud attacked him, but due to all the Jenova cells and mako, Sephiroth survived but fell or jumped into a mako pool," I explained.

"Oh, well that's practically dying," Reno defended.

"Jeesh Reno. You're a _Turk_. You worked for _Shinra_. Shouldn't you _know_ these things? No wonder Shinra messed up so bad," I retorted.

"Hey! It was _unclear_ whether he was dead or alive! Fallin' into a _mako pool_ isn't exactly _harmless_! And The Turks were completely _undervalued_ by Shinra! They never told us a thing!" Reno exclaimed defensibly.

"Aww, poor little Rennie-kins!" I cooed sarcastically, "I _thought_ the Turks were _intelligent_ and _adept_ and used their _initiative_ and so didn't need to be told _everything_! Or has the standard of Turks fell since those skills were _actually used_?" I taunted.

Judging by his reply, that comment seemed to have hit a nerve.

"Oh that's right! Bring _Valentine_ into it!" He bristled, traces of bitterness creeping unnoticed by me into his tone.

"What? _Vincent_? How _Leviathan_ did _I_ bring _him_ into this? How does he even come into this _at all_?" I asked, utterly disconcerted: _Vincent_?

"Oh, so you don't think he's '_intelligent_ and _adept'_ and 'used his _initiative' _when he was a Turk and standard were _oh-so-high_?" Reno scoffed.

"What are you _talking about_? I wasn't referring to _Vincent_ when I said that! It's _you_ who inferred that I was!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, of course you weren't," He declared sarcastically, the bitterness there again, except this time I noticed it, and realised that Reno must have held some kind of grudge or enmity against Vincent.

"Gawd Reno, what's your problem with Vincent? Are you jealous or something?"

Reno snorted, "_Jealous_? Why would I be _jealous_ of someone as emotionally and socially _stunted_ as _Vincent Valentine_?"

"Don't you dare say that about Vincent! Take. It. _Back_!" I growled, anger suddenly unfurling inside of me.

"Why should I? It's true!" Reno answered back, in a growl similar to mine.

"How is it true?" I demanded; I couldn't believe I was hearing this! I couldn't believe that Reeve had sent me with this bastard! I knew Reno was a jerk, and that he could really annoy me, but I could deal with that. What I _couldn't_ deal with was people _insulting_ my _friends_. I especially could not stand _anyone_ insulting _my Vincent_.

"Because he's so _damned blind_!" Reno exclaimed, frustration overflowing from his tone.

"Blind to _what_?" I asked, incredulous and angrily.

When I asked that though, Reno looked like I'd hit him. With a dead _baby_ chocobo.

"_Well_?" I prompted when the bewildered expression continued. That seemed to jerk him from his gormless state.

"You know what princess? It don't matter," He declared, his expression smoothing out into the usual arrogant-_I'm-going-to-sleep-with-you-because-you're-not-going-to-know-what's-hit-you-when-I-turn-on-the-charm-_Reno look.

"I think you'll find it definitely _does_ matter mister," I growled, "So _tell me_ what he's _blind to_!"

"I think you bought it a bit too well. Seems I hit a tender spot," He said, a lazy tomcat grin stretching across his face.

"Bought what?" I asked, my annoyance threatening to _hit him in the face with a fist_.

"My distraction,"

"Distraction from _what_?" I said through gritted teeth.

He folded his arms behind his head and leant backward, the grin still in place, and nodded towards the bill sitting innocently on the table between us.

I closed my eyes and sent a silent prayer to Leviathan to give me the strength _not shove the bill down his gawd damn throat and then strangle him with his ridiculously red and ridiculously long pony tail._

"For _fuck's sake_ Reno, I'm _not_ paying that _gawd damn bill_!"

"Well then we have a dilemma, because _neither am I_,"

It was at that point that we _both_ realised that the other was just as stubborn, and was _not_ going to pay that damn bill. So we came to a mutual understanding. We legged it. _Fast_.

I also came to another understanding on the way back to the car, and thirty second drive to the gas station: no matter how much I badgered, nagged and griped, Reno was _not_ going to tell me what Vincent was blind to. When I did realise this, I slammed the car door with as much force as I could muster and went to pay for the gas Reno was refilling the car with. I didn't have any qualms about this particular payment because it was Reeve's refill-the-gas money. Whilst I was in there, I also bought a lot of sweets and crisps and general junk food. Sure, I'd just eaten enough food at feed all of Avalanche (and trust me, Cid and Barret eat _a lot_), but we still had a _long_ drive a head of us. And I'd decided not to talk to Reno. Pigging out would help keep my stress level down, and my desire to break the silence. Plus I was kind of eating to console my annoyance at Reno not telling me what Vincent was blind too. And because food is so nice. Well, food with sugar in.

I was just heading out of the gas station shop when I passed a man who seemed faintly familiar. He was skinny and needed like he needed to get out, and narrowed his eyes upon seeing me, something seeming to dawn on him. Who I was perhaps.

"Hey. Stop right there!" He shouted. I however, was not in the mood for fans. I did _not_ stop. I did the opposite, and started heading even faster over to the car. I had barely got into the damn thing though when Reno, staring at the man who had yelled at me, started it and drove away. I figured it was probably because he was jealous over the fact that I got recognised in gas stations. I stopped myself from giving an angry comment on the matter though, remembering my resolution not to talk to him.

"Jeez darlin'. You buy the whole shop?" he asked, somewhat distractedly, eyeing the numerous bags I'd slung on the back seat. I ignored him, crossed my arms and stared resolutely out of the window. The funny thing was though, he didn't seem to notice my silence, which was very un-Reno-like. I'd been expecting a comment something along the lines of 'Aww, not talking to me princess?' followed by a wink and 'bet I can get you to talk' or something like that.

Instead there was nothing. Zilch. Nada. When this continued, I glanced over at him.

Check point: I am a ninja. Although people _always_ seem to _overlook_ that fact, I _am_, and being a ninja means that you are many things and one of those things is being 'perceptive', as Vincent once so delinquently put it. And I noticed _many_ things about Reno which lead me to a conclusion.

"So who's following us?" I asked. He looked round, startled, either by the sudden breaking of the silence, or what I had said. Or both of these things.

"What?" He spluttered.

"We're being followed. Hey, will we get to be in a car chase? I've never been in one before, but I've always wanted to be. They look pretty cool in films…" I mused. Cid was always boasting about some kind of chase he'd been in. I've got to say though, an airship chase? Hardly the action packed-adrenaline pumping-thrill filled experience is it? I mean, action movies don't really favour them. There's got to be a reason for that.

And Cloud's been in plenty of motor cycle chases. _They're_ pretty popular in action movies. But still, a good old fashioned car chase? Got to be the best.

"Princess, what the hell are you chattin'?" He asked, fake incredulity overtaking his tone. He didn't look away from the windshield mirror though.

"Gawd Reno! I'm not stupid! You're sitting really stiffly, your gripping that steering wheel pretty tight, you keep looking in the mirrors, you're getting steadily but otherwise unnecessarily faster, you look distracted, tense and slightly worried, and most obvious of all, there's a big black car tailing us!" I exclaimed.

Reno glanced at me, and seeing my face, signed.

"You're good darlin'. I'll give you that," He admitted.

I huffed angrily, but didn't give him an earful about my being a ninja, and who exactly _he_ thought _he_ was to be able to give me '_that'_, instead focussing on the matter at hand.

"So _who_ exactly is following us?" I asked.

"Ahh. Well, there's a funny story…" Reno trailed off.

I sighed, "Right. I get it. You screwed some woman,"

"No! Well…yes. You see there was this Shinra Scientist, a kind of minor one, well my minor I mean he wasn't ranking Hojo on the sanity scale, and, well, what you have to understand is that there scientists were exposed to all sorts in those Shinra labs, and so were _completely_ out of their tree due to the mako and stuff so they always _completely_ blew things _out_ of proportion and got _irrationally_ angry over _tiny_ little things…" He trailed off again.

"And the tiny little thing you did?" I prompted.

"Well this one had an extremely hot fiancée…"

I looked at him incredulously. "And you _slept_ with her? An _engaged_ women? _Jeesh_ Reno, and you're saying that there's no need for him to go Sephiroth on you?"

"Yes! All I did was sleep with her once! It didn't mean _anything_!" He defended, "Well, I slept with her twice," He added, fidgeting uncomfortably, and glancing at the windshield mirror once again, "The second time _after_ he threatened to kill me if I so much as _looked_ at her ever again,"

"_Reno_!" I exclaimed.

"So I kind of broke up his engagement," He summarised.

My eyes widened, "You _broke up his engagement_? Holy _Leviathan_ Reno! No _wonder_ he still wants to _kill_ you!"

"Well excuse me princess! Personally, I think chasin' me is a tad extreme. It was like, eight years ago now, and really, it was a good thing! She probably would have only had an actual official affair once they were married. I saved him a lot pain really! And you should have seen him! She was like, so hot and he was like, some science nerd. I mean, I don't know why she chose to get engaged to him in the first place, I mean how could any woman ever want to sleep with that grimly little-"

"Reno, that's not the point. _Sephiroth_ was the result is a fairly decent woman sinking below the level of shit and ever wanting sleeping with a scientist infinity times worse than the one in your situation, and the reason for that was love," I informed. Well I don't know if that's actually true. I mean, didn't Lucrecia want an unborn child to experiment on a turn into an alien mutant, blood lusting, murdering, apocalyptic being?

I rolled my eyes, "And none of that matters because she was off limits and engaged and I know if I was this scientist guy, I would want beat the _ever living shit _out of the _pig headed, bold, insolent, downright_-"

"Jeez Yuffie. I get the picture," He interrupted, and expression of typical masculine wounded pride, defiance and kicked-puppyness showing on his face.

I snorted at this expression. This new turn of events was _so_ typical Reno. Never accepting the consequences. Well, I can't exactly blow my trumpet, but I would _never_ even dream of having _anything_ to do with an _engaged_ person. I have at least _that_ principle. Well, always unless that engaged person was Vincent, but one, he's probably _never_ going to get engaged because he, like Reno is _not_ allowed to say, is socially and emotionally stunted, and two, Vincent would never have an affair because he is too nice and gentlemanly, and so an affair would go _completely_ against his morals.

Why was it I was _always_ getting side tracked by Vincent? Oh, right, because I'm in love with him.

And that was supposed to be a _rhetorical question_.

Distracting myself, I glanced behind us, straining to see our follower. There was a massive beefy guy as well as the man who had shouted at me in the gas station. It looked like this scientist guy had gone up in the world of hypothesis proving nerds and got himself a hit man for a best buddy. Or brainwashed him into securing his every want and desire with his world changing idea that the world laughed at and thus turned him into a vengeful manic villain guy.

It explained Reno's haste to get the hell out of the gas station anyway. I was _sure_ I'd seen him somewhere before…

"Oh," I suddenly said, realisation of his familiarity dawning on me. Or rather, the _circumstances_ in which I'd seen him before.

"What?" Reno asked.

"Well, there's a _good chance_ he _might_ not _just_ be chasing _just_ after you_,"_ I informed him, as casually as a remark about the weather.

"Why?" Reno asked suspiciously with narrowed eyes. He also looked kind of happy that he might not be entirely to blame or our current situation.

"Well…I, um, I… I kind of stole all of his materia," I muttered, suddenly engrossed with twirling a lock of my hair, "And accidently burnt down his house," I added, again, cool as a cucumber albeit still not making eye contact with him.

"What?" Reno exclaimed.

"Hey, don't look so surprised! You did something equally bad too!" I cried.

"HA! No way! What you did was so obviously worse!" Reno yelled triumphantly, his eyes gleaming.

"What?" I exclaimed incredulously, "No it is not! You ruined his engagement! _His marriage_!"

"And you not only nicked all his materia, but burnt down his house!" Reno shot back, gleefully.

"Repeating what I said doesn't make it any worse!" I retorted.

"Yuffie, he is _obviously_ chasing _you_, not me. And _trust_ me, I _know_ these Shinra guys," He replied condescendingly, with such an air of superiority, I almost socked him one.

"Fuck you Reno! Get off of your high horse and accept some damn responsibility!" I hissed angrily.

"Fine. Tell me how breaking up his engagement was _worse_ that stealing his materia and burning down his house, which, will have had everything he had worked for, earned, loved, and prised in!" Reno retorted.

"He wouldn't have needed any of that if he'd had a wife! He'd have earned, loved and prised her!" I answered.

"Oh that bullshit and naive Yuffie. Everyone knows that wives are only good for-"

"Don't you dare even finish that sentence Reno!" I flared angrily.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine! So _between us_, we _ruined_ his life. Whichever is worse, that man must be very angry with each of us and together…well, that is one very, _very_ angry man chasing us. Plus he's a Shinra scientist, who were all kind of away with the fairies, and he was such a dork that he probably has some scientifically modified, nasty tricks up his sleeve " Reno conceded.

"Why can't people just let these things go?" I sighed frustratedly.

"To right," Reno agreed. He did a double take when he glanced in the mirror again, because the minor probably insane but no rank Hojo insane but with plenty of reason for wanting to kill us Shinra scientist guy and hired/brainwashed muscle man had got _very_ close, "Shit!"

"Well? Car chase?" I asked, my anger fading away, replaced by excitement and a grin.

"Car chased," He confirmed, putting his foot down on the accelerator.

Now, Reeve may not have good sense when it came to choosing mission partners that I can be with for five minutes without getting pissed off, but he sure had good car sense. Because when Reno put his foot down, that car shot off faster that a bullet. Talking of bullets, our follower and his crony weren't about to make this car chase simple and boring…

"Holy shit!"

"Get down!"

"What do you think I'm doing jerk?"

"Just checkin'! I'm not used to working with you!"

"What, so Rude needs to be _told_ to duck when being _shot_ at?"

"No. He's already ducking to protect his shades-Yuffie stay down! He's still shootin'!"

"For Leviathan sake calm down! I know! I'm just getting my materia,"

"Why, in case it gets _shot_?"

"Of course! The thing about Rude protecting his shades reminded me-"

"Never mind your damn materia! Reeve will kill _me_ and bring me back and kill me _again_ if _you_ get hurt!"

"Reeve? Well Reeve will have been saving his own gawd damn skin! It's _him_ who'll be killed and killed again if _I_ get hurt!"

"What?"

"Didn't you know? He was threatened not to let me go on my own. Why do you think he asked _you_ to come with me?"

"Hang on. _Reeve_ was threatened over _you_?"

"Hey! What do you mean 'over _you'? _Am I not _worthy_ of been threatened over_?"_

"Everyone knows you can look after yourself darlin', so who ever threatened him is obviously protective of you, and there's only one person I know who would dare threaten the commissioner of the WRO! And this is completely the wrong situation to be discussin' this-"

"Who? WHO WAS IT RENO?"

" Jeez, keep your hair on princess!"

"Tell me Reno- HOLY LEVIATHAN!"

The back window had shattered. Pieces of glass were flying everywhere. Luckily, the backs of our seats served as a kind of shield and neither of us were hurt. However, it seemed to push Reno over the limit that our pursuer had actually managed to hit us.

"Right that's it! Fuckin' stupid science _scum_ shooting at a fucking _Turk_! Back in the Shinra day we'd shown what for if he dared fuckin' look at us like shit on his pansy little lab coat!" He growled, sounding more like mutterings to himself. I got the feeling that 'we' and 'us' were the Turks back in the Shinra day whose 'what for' would be a deadly poison that was undetectable in the bloodstream. Plus by the way he was spitting the words 'science 'and 'lab coat it sounded as if there had been some kind of ongoing war between the Turks and Scientists of Shinra. I'd have to ask Vincent…Hadn't Reno mentioned that the Turks had been completely undervalued by Shinra? I bet the scientists got loads of attention…

My thought were completely forgotten though when Reno's arm snaked around my waist, and I was on his lap. _For Leviathan's sake_, we were in a _car chase_, being _shot_ at, and Reno felt _now_ was the time to try it on? And he thought telling me who threatened Reeve was _inappropriate_ in this situation!

But then he slipped out from underneath me, and managed to hop over the hand brake and gear stick into the passenger seat.

"Yahh!" I squealed as the car jolted _because no one was driving because I was in the driver's seat and didn't know it_. My reflexes kicked in though and I quickly gained control of the car, and regained the speed we'd momentarily lost.

"How in Gaia did you do that?" I asked indignantly to Reno, who was now in the passenger seat and unwinding the sunroof.

"Remind me to tell you once we've got out of this!" He grunted, manoeuvring so he was standing up, with the top half of his body hanging out of the sun roof. He reached down and pulled a gun from-actually, I don't know where he pulled the gun from. On second thoughts, I don't think I want to know. Anyway, he pulled a gun out and stared shooting back at the crazy pair tailing us.

"Reno! Are you _trying_ to get _hit_?"

"Jeez darlin', a little faith? This is the only way I can get a clear shot!"

I had to actually give him some credit. I don't know how he managed to aim and shoot anywhere _near_ the target due to the fact I was weaving in and out of traffic on the highway quite…vigorously.

"Hey! Reno! Careful you don't hit any civilians! I don't want to be bailed out of jail my dad again…" I yelled up to him, trailing off as I swerved around a truck.

"You're a member of Avalanche who saved the world three times _and_ the princess of Wutai, and I work for Rufus Shinra and Reeve. You think we'll come off worse if anything…uh…_bad_ happens? Plus he's the one breakin' the law here. He shot at us first!" Reno called back, sounding somewhat muffled from above the car and over the gunshots, "The little maggot can go back to the test tube he came from for all I care!" he added.

I really want to know what the scientists did to the Turks at Shinra.

"You know _adultery_ is against the law too," I muttered.

"So is breaking and entering, theft and arson," He shouted back, clealing having heard my murmur.

"Oh shut up and shoot," I answered, ticked off.

"Is that what you tell Valentine?"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothin',"

Reminded of Vincent, I needed to remember to tell him that this was a perfect example of an instance in which my 'dangerous' driving was _vital_, proved as I turned sharply off the highway, earning Reno a few un-shot at seconds at to reload.

Three red traffic lights, two narrow misses at junctions and another shattered window later, we were still going flat out and firing bullets relentlessly. I mean this car chase was an exciting action packed- adrenaline pumping- thrill filled experience, but we didn't seem to be getting anywhere…

"Reno, have you actually done any damage yet?" I called impatiently up to him.

"I'm getting' there!"

"Getting there how exactly?" I questioned, slamming down on the breaks as some _stupid mother fucker pulled in front of me_. Could he not see WE WERE BEING SHOT AT? DID HE WANT TO END UP WITH A BULLET IN THE HEAD?

"Well…it's difficult to say! It's a bit of a delicate situation-" Reno started.

"Delicate? Reno this situation is by no means _delicate_!" I shouted.

"Well if you stopped jerking the damn car every other moment I might get a clear shot!" He shouted back.

"I'm trying to keep _us_ from being shot!" I yelled indignantly.

"I thought you had some backbone and took risks!" He shouted.

"I DO! It's not my fault guns suck so much!" I screamed back, getting more enraged at him by the second.

"Well excuse me darlin'! I can't exactly use my electro-rod can I? What's your problem with guns? Valentine uses them!" He shouted back.

"For Gawds _sake_! Just because Vincent uses one doesn't mean they're automatically amazing! Jeez! And why do you keep bringing Vincent in to everything?" What was Reno's damn problem with Vincent? I mean sure, Vincent was pretty handy with Cerberus, and had I been with him, he would have taken the black SUV following us out with one shot, but I wasn't holding that against Reno! I didn't think I was anyway…

Hell, if I'd been with Vincent I wouldn't even have been in this _situation_! Because the guy following us obviously wants to get his hands on Reno more than me; Reno broke up his future marriage, which is so much _worse_ than having his materia nicked and house burnt down! See; if I'd have been with Vincent, this man would have merely done a double take when he saw me. Fine. Maybe he would have still chased me. But Vincent would have death glared at him and that would be the end of that. So yes, if I'd have been with Vincent, this would never have happened.

Unless Vincent did the same as Reno back in his Turk days…maybe this still would have happened except it would be an old man with a forty year old vendetta instead…well it's possible I guess! I've robbed enough people and accidentally burnt down their houses for the exact same situation to have happened to a man Vincent knew.

I look way too far into stuff. In the most inappropriate situations.

Hang on; maybe Vincent took the Turks to a grand victory in the war against the scientists, and that's why Reno hates him so much! Vincent is sure bastard and cunning enough. I mean, look at the pinning me against the wall thing! And the threats in the supermarket!

"I don't keep bringin' Valentine into everything'! It's _you_ who keep bringin' him up!"

"All I said was guns suck! How is that bringing Vincent up?"

"Oh yeah? What about your 'oh Turks today suck. Back in Vincent's day standards were so much better' comment?

"One, that's _not_ what I said, two, I was _taunting_ you, and three, that's not what I _meant_ by my comment!"

"It's so obvious you wish you were on this damn mission with _him_!"

"Well of course I do considering the way _this_ mission shaping up what with been _chased_ and all! We've not even started the mission yet! Plus Vincent doesn't have insane jealously issues!"

"You still think I'm jealous of him?"

"Do you know how _obvious_ it is?"

"Oh, _that's_ obvious? And the fact that you're so hopelessly and unchangeably in L-"

And then another one of the windows exploded, and the blood that had been boiling in anger at Reno's words suddenly ran cold in fear of what he was saying. Or rather in fear of what the rest of that unfinished sentence might have been because it sounded as if it might finish with 'in love with Valentine _isn't_?'. And that must never _ever_ be uttered because no-one (except Tifa hence Cloud because Tifa can't keep her damned mouth shut and tells him everything) could ever find out about my loving-Vincent issue. Because then Vincent might hear. And then I'd be forced to go into hiding for the rest of my life.

Plus, what he was saying couldn't true because the fact that I was so hopelessly and unchangeably in love with Vincent wasn't obvious because Vincent didn't know. I know sometimes it's obvious to everybody except the person you love, but in this case, it wasn't, because Vincent's perceptive like me.

Basically, the fact I loved him wasn't obvious because Vincent wasn't acting weird and avoiding me, like he would have been if he knew. I mean, I know he kind of flirts with me-hang on. Scratch that. If pushing me up against a wall isn't flirting, I don't know what is. _Anyway_, my point was that although he might _flirt_ (that term so does _not_ fit with _Vincent_), it doesn't mean he likes me back. It just means he's a man. Because the male population are like that. They enjoy building hope and then destroying it. It's how they work. It's in their DNA. But it's a good thing Vince does that- even if it means I can't sleep, and want to scream about how gawd damn frustrating he is not to see what's right in front of him-because it means he's a man. Not a monster or whatever the hell it was he used to proclaim he was. It also means I might have a chance; maybe Vincent will…love me one day. Perhaps. I mean, men can being bastards (for instance, Cloud being such a moron and making Tifa wait for him so gawd damn long), but I guess they're not all bad. I've never seen Tifa so happy since she got with Cloud.

And anyway, it's a good thing Vincent doesn't like me in the way I like him, and so his flirting doesn't mean anything. Sure, I wish I could be with Vincent. But that's a scary thought. All that kind of stuff is daunting. Love I mean, and all the terms and condition and rules and regulations of that kind of relationship. Especially with Vincent. I wouldn't want to lose what we already have.

Going back to my point that was the ramble of another point, the fact that Vincent's a bastard man for the third time is a good thing. Because it means he thinks he's a man again, not a monster. By saying 'man again' I don't mean to imply he's been _anything_ _other_ than a _man_. He's always been a man. Just a man who thought he was a monster. That's my point that was a ramble of another point which was the ramble of another point. And those points are completely off of the point, which was that Mr-follower-because-he-wants-revenge-and-his-crony-friend managed to shoot another window out. And me and Reno were running out of windows to be shot out. We would be the next things to be shot out. So I switched from thoughtful, reflective Yuffie (yes, I do have levels of maturity, despite what Cid and Barret say) and into battle Yuffie. Oh, and battle Yuffie is _not_ to be confused with _Ninja_ Yuffie. I am _always_ a ninja. That's not something you can switch on and off because yes, clumsiness can often be a symptom of being such an awesome ninja (like motion sickness), again, despite what Cid and Barret say…and what Tifa, Cloud, Vincent, Reeve and Red also say. They're all talking out of their asses.

"Shit…This conversation is not over Reno," I hissed, "Now swap with me!"

Surprisingly, he did. I think he was running out of ammunition though. Or maybe he did actually sense that this was a job for _I_, Yuffie Kisaragi, The single white rose of Wutai, champion of the earth and sky (mostly…airships are my worst enemy still) greatest ninja ever to be born _etcetera_ _etcetera_... I could seriously end up listing my titles all day.

Once in the passenger seat, I pulled a throwing knife from my kickass-literally I've kicked so many asses in them-boots, and yanked some ninja knick knacks from various hidden pockets. Spreading my weight, I pushed myself up so I was standing with half of my body hanging out of the sunroof, as Reno had been. Narrowing my eyes, I focussed on Mr-Crazy-Shinra-scientist-who-can't-let-things-go-and-get-over-stuff-and-his-friend. These Shinra guys sure were sensitive. I mean, look at Cloud; make one comment about how his hair style is similar to that of a Chocobo and he gets all sulky and swordy about it. Seriously. Keep the comment s up and he gets those giant beastie swords out on you.

Anyway, I focused on the crazy pair with anger issues. I mean chasing us in a car shooting at us? Over the top anyone?

AHEM. As I was saying, and for the third time, I focused on the psychos. And let me share with you a Ninja titbit. A ninja doesn't think before they act. They act before they think. Before I could act before I thought though, Reno wrenched the car ninety degrees to the left onto an empty side road. The sunroof dug sharply into my side and the half of my body sticking out the car slammed down on the car roof.

"Fuck Reno," I hissed, gingerly straightening up. Another Ninja titbit: A ninja feels not pain. So I could not feel the throbbing in my side that promised a bruise. It was all a lie. Pain. Is. A. Lie.

"Deal with it princess," was his dry response, making me bristle.

"I'll show you how to deal with it when I shove a dozen throwing stars up a certain place!" I hissed again.

"Ooo, _kinky_!" I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"You're fucking impossible," I growled. Was he a sex addict?

"Yes I am darlin', and the sooner you realise that the sooner we can both make each other very happy," At this reply, I risked vital moment in which I could have been shot in, and betrayed my Ninja oath; I took my eyes off my enemy in favour of closing my eyes in frustration.

He. Just. Wouldn't. Give. Damn. Well. Up.

I mean, we were being shot at for the planets sake! _Inappropriate_ much? Ever heard of a working environment Reno? Or a time and a place?

Except the working environment-time and a place thing doesn't apply when Vincent is around. A lot of rules don't apply when Vincent is around.

My eyes flew back open as another window smashed.

"Shit! Where are they? I can't see them!" I exclaimed in surprise.

"I'll tell you what _I_ can see," Again, I could hear the smirk in Reno's voice. And _I'll_ tell you what _he_ could see. All he had to do was turn his head, and he had the full view of my ass.

My _freaking_ hot, ninja ass.

Yes, he was taking advantage of _my ass_ whilst I was trying to _save_ our asses from being shot my some scientist who lacked sanity.

Ishouldnt have said that, because this scientist guy is nowhere near as insane as Hojo. Hojo was a very bad man who did terrible things. Terrible things to my best friend. I would never make an insensitive joke about Hojo.

"Reno, I swear to Leviathan, if you do not _lay off_, I will shut you up _myself_ by ripping off a certain piece of your anatomy that is _very_ dear to you, and shoving it in the _hole_ that you _have_ in your _face_!"

It did the trick. He shut up. Well, I could hear him mumbling incoherently, but he had stopped with the innuendoes which was what I was aiming for.

Talking of what I was aiming for, our gun wielding followers reappeared back in my line of site. Jebus, were they ever going to run out of ammunition?

Well, Vincent hardly ever runs out of ammunition. But that's because he's such a boss he usually only needs one bullet to take his target out.

Again with the Vincent side tracking! Was I ever going to be rid of the stupid vampire?

No. Vincent's not a stupid vampire. He's a damn sexy vampire.

_Aaargh_!

Putting Vincent vampire Valentine out of my mind (who am I kidding? He's never out of my mind!), I judged the distance between us and Mr knocked-on-the-head-one-to-many-times-possibly-by-the-Turks.

"Reno, I need you to slow down!" I called urgently.

"Slow down princess? I don't fancy getting shot!" He called back indignantly.

"Well excuse me; _'I thought you had some backbone and took risks!'_" I mimicked.

I heard him huff in an irritated manner, but the car still decelerated. Current score: Reno one, Yuffie two.

When we slowed down enough to be a suitable distance away, I activated a smoke bomb.

"Kiss this bitch," I muttered, throwing the smoke bomb with my awesome ninja aim through the windshield of the SUV.

Smoke bombs are among one of most wondrous things to be created-Materia being the most wondrous thing to be created followed be Vincent Valentine, wait no, maybe they're the best joint first thing to be created -as they always create a _perfect_ distract. Whenever you throw a smoke bomb, you can be sure of a few things: confusion, coughing, crying, and in this case, slowing down and spinning off the road and into a ditch. For good measure, I threw a couple of ninja stars into the Mr I–want-revenge-but-I-should-have-known-never-to-mess-with-a-ninja's car tyres.

"Suck on that you psychopaths! Next time you have a chip on your shoulder, remember what you'll get à la Yuffie!" I yelled at their shrinking doubled up figures scrambling out of their crumpled up SUV.

Letting out a breath, I slithered back into my seat, dusting off my hands, smiling brightly at Reno.

"And that Turk, is how you own some one's ass,"

He grinned widely at me, and held up his hand for a high five, which I returned with a whoop.

OOO

After the whole car chase thing, the rest of the journey was a bit anti-climatic. Nothing eventful happen.

I was surprised how well I actually got on with Reno. The whole car chase thing seemed to break the ice. Well I say break the ice, but he just calmed down and I tried to tolerate him. And we hit off. I actually had a lot in common with him; we had loads of similar interests. We spent the rest of the journey singing full blast to songs, stuffing the food I'd bought, and chatting. I had a great time.

And the mission its self was a walk in the park! No mako mutants. No new Shinran created enemy ready to rise up and destroy the planet, or Shinran created army waiting to awaken some final life saving Planetary defence . Just a few monsters. I suppose I should be thankful for that, but the mission turned out to be what I initially thought it would be: a simple retrieval mission to a half rotted, crumbling old shack in the middle of nowhere. Well, I say shack, but it was pretty big. Although not Shinra-manor-big. And, unfortunately, there was no Vincent Valentine asleep in a coffin waiting for us either. Just a nest of monsters. But hey, I didn't know giant fire breathing salamanders existed before. I do know.

"So where is Valentine?" Reno asked, gingerly taping on the grungy, disintegrating keyboard as he hacked into the main computer, "I thought he usually went on these missions with you,"

"He does usually. He's away travelling with Shelke though at the moment," I replied, wincing at the horrible, ear piercing shriek that sounded as I opened the rusting filing cabinets.

"Who?"

"Shelke. The little brunette girl from Deepground. Shalua's sister. She looks about nine years old, but she's the same age as me. Actually, last time I saw her she looked like her body's started catching up to her real age…" I trailed off, squinting at the scrawled words that were the file names. The fires the salamanders had caused didn't really offer good reading light.

"Oh yeah. She used to trail Valentine everywhere. Like his shadow or something'," Reno commented, still typing passwords into the Shinra security system. I could see why Reeve said he'd be so useful now. Without those passwords, the whole place was probably programmed to blow up if someone tried to get in with the wrong password.

"That's her. She used to be a right irritating, inconsiderate little bitch. She made Vince so angsty and brooding until I had a go at him about it and told him to stop or I'd kick him _so hard_ he'd end up back in his damn past. But she's really quite nice now. I think Vincent takes her travelling so she can get to grips with the world and learn how to act and stuff. Vince thinks he owes it to Shalua," I told him, scanning through a particular, yellowed and brittle file.

"How long have you and Vincent been doing missions together exactly?" Reno questioned, still frowning in concentration at the Shinra programme.

"Oh way back. Since we both joined up with Cloud and everyone and were chasing Sephiroth, well, Jenova, across the world. We were both the social outcasts of the group. Him because he was so intimidating and secretive and me because I stole everyone's Materia. Cloud always paired us together to get us away. The group probably hoped we would end up killing each other as well because they were kind of scared by him and irritated by me. I know that Vincent wanted to kill me at times because I really annoyed the hell out of him sometimes. I wanted to kill just as much though because he just never responded, so was his own damn fault I talked so much. But anyway, we were better at tolerating each other than the rest of the group at the time. Since then we've just always watched each other's backs. Over that time we got to understand each other and we've been good friends ever since…" And in my case, grown to love him, "But hey, what about you? I though you and Rude were working partners as well and that that protected Rufus Shinra. And Tseng and Elena. The remaining Turks working for the remains of the Shinra Inc."

"Well yeah, I am. Me and Rude do, as well as Tseng and 'Lana. But you know that the big 'secret' benefactor of the WRO is Rufus, and as part of that he lends me and Rude out to Reeve, hence our offices in the headquarters. He doesn't lend 'Lana and Tseng out though because they prefer to stay with him, especially since the remnants," Reno shrugged, "Reeve said he needed one of us to come on a mission with you, so I volunteered," Here he winked at me.

I smiled at the wink, "Well, I'm glad you did," but then I frowned, "you've got my anonymous stalker-like, Reeve threatening 'friend' to thank for it,"

He glanced up at that, and rolled his eyes, "Come on darlin'. He's not that anonymous. You're head of espionage and intelligence. Put two an' two together,"

I looked away from the filing cabinet, "What?"

"Jeez princess. Reeve needs to look into his staff choices,"

"Who-"

"You just said it!"

"What do you mean I just said-"

"You watch each other's backs, you usually go on missions together, but he's travelling at the moment-"

"Hang on, you mean _Vincent_?"

"Yeah!"

"_Vincent_?"

"Yes darlin'. Valentine"

"_Vincent Valentine_,"

"Yes,"

"_Vinnie_,"

"Yes, 'Vinnie'," He was starting to looked annoyed.

"_Vincent_, who knows I'm _more_ than capable of taking care of myself,"

"Yeah,"

"_Vincent_, who _I_ saved when the Mako canon blew up and he stupidly was up there even though _I_ told him _it was a bad idea_,"

"Uh…"

"_Vincent_, who _I_ saved from Rosso the Crimson when she _ripped_ the protomateria from his _chest_,"

"Ouch…"

"_Vincent_…who Cloud… Cloud was on the phone to yesterday!"

"…"

"_Vincent_-"

"Yes Yuffie. Vincent. Vincent Valentine. Ex Turk. Member of Avalanche. The guy who defeated Omega. The guy who is extremely protective of you,"

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"You forgot _dead man walking,"_

* * *

_**I hope that you feel that that was worth the wait! I really hated writing this chapter, not only because I had so much trouble writing it, but because I re-read it so much that the whole idea I built it on (the car chase thing) just seemed a bit lame, and I really never mastered Reno's character. I mean for one thing, I haven't got his dialect right. I just had him not pronouncin' G's like that because it was my lame attempt at sounding like him. I know he's supposed to say 'Yo', but adding that onto the end of every other sentence just seemed to make it worse. But anyway, when I gave this chapter the final read over, the idea, and Reno's character didn't seem that unbearable to read, and it still flowed nicely. So I think its okay.**_

_**Now for my explaination on why I haven't updated in so long. One of the main reasons was, like I said in the last chapter, loss of muse and motivation, and the trouble with Reno's character. But Since October, I have had alot going on; schoolwork, exams, and I had some stuff going on at home. Plus I moved house after Christmas. And I got another computer virus, the same as the last one I got, but worse. But that really isn't an excuse, thanks to my friend getting rid of it within the hour. Thanks Fagan!**_

_**I think most of the reason my muse abandonned me was because Vincent wasn't in this chapter! I had to write Yuffie going on an adventure with Reno instead! Reno! I hate Reffie! Yuffentine forever!. So yes, this is not in any shape of form hinting at Reffie. I tried to get across that they're now friends (which will play a part later in the story), although I don't think I got their friendship across to well as the ending is quite rushed, and I didn't really write much friendship stuff. But I wanted to get this over and done with and get Reno out of the way. But because of the rushedness, there will be a kind of third part to this. Well I say third part, but it will just tie up some loose ends I left in this.**_

_**So yes, I hope you enjoyed reading this, and found it entertaining, despite the long update, and the slow start of the story and the Reno issues. Vincent will definitely be back in the next chapter (and I know I said he'd be back in this chapter, but I changed my priginal idea there'd never have been and update) because if he doesn't this story will probably never be updated again! And as for the next update, as usual, I can't promise it will be soon. I've got twelve important exams coming up between May and June, two of which are on my birthday, so it might be sometime after that. But then again, i've got My easter holidays in a week, so maybe i'll ignore my revision and get cracking on the next chapter!**_

_** Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you liked the chapter; please let me know in a review!**_


	15. Feverish Freezing

**_So its been over a year. And that makes me a terrible person. So to those amazing people who waited it out and are still here, I'm so sorry, here's the next, very overdue chapter. I hope the fact that its almost 10,000 words long takes some of the sting out of the 15 month wait between last chapter and this one. Its been so long that I'd reccommend reading the last chapter before reading this one (because obviously you want to wait just that little bit longer) because this follows on pretty much directly on from it, and when I came to finish the 8000 words I had written of this a couple of days ago, I had to go back that far to refresh myself to continue it._**

**_Vincent's finally back in this chapter, which is the least I could do for you! And seriously, a massive thank you to every single person who had read , reviewed, favorited and alerted this, and an even bigger thankyou to those who have returned to read this chapter after such a long wait! _**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own a single slice of the amazing Final Fantasy VII world, thats all belongs to Square Enix. Although if I did, I would feel just as guilty as I am right now for not updating, but because Yuffentine is not, as it totally should be, cannon._******

* * *

The best thing after a mission (or car chase) is getting back home, or, back in the old days chasing Sephiroth all around the freaking world, getting back to or making camp.

And so it was a bit like the old days walking back to Seventh Heaven with Vincent. Except Shelke was there. And I'd been on a mission with Reno ordered by Reeve, not on a quest with Vincent, sent by Cloud. But hey, it was similar; back in the old days I was usually pissed at him for something or another. And I was definitely pissed with him now.

"You're such a jerk _Vinnie_!" I burst out with. The gunman continued to pretend I didn't exist though, despite the deliberate emphasis on the nickname he didn't like.

"Vinnie? What is Vinnie Yuffie Kisaragi?" Shelke asked.

"Vinnie is Vincent," I answered. She continued to stare vacantly however.

"You know, Vincent Valentine, wears a red dramatic swishing cloak, and is currently being a gawd damn bastard," I expanded, glaring at Vincent, who once again ignored me.

"I don't understand," Shelke replied, brow furrowed. I sighed; didn't Vincent teach her anything? Wasn't the whole point of taking her travelling to teach her about the world she never experience due to being locked up by Deepground? Did they just wander the planet _silently_, not speaking at all? That would be _so_ awkward…

"It's an abbreviation of his name. Vincent: Vince, Vinnie…" My explanation didn't seem to be clearing the clouds away that shrouded Shelke's mind however, "Or like a nickname… which is a bad example because you don't know what a nickname is. Right, think of Cloud! Cloud's hair is really spiky and looks like a Chocobo yes?" Shelke nodded, "thus the _nicknames_ of Chocobo head, Chocobo ass, spike, spiky…" I trailed off, deterred by her expression which still didn't look to be all the more understanding. I glanced at Vincent, and smiled devilishly.

"Right, take Vincent Shelke," I commanded, hoping she'd understand with another and more familiar example, "I call him a vampire, because looks, and quite often acts, like a vampire. Understand that?"

Score! Now she was nodding, "So a nickname is a name you invent based on the appearance or personality of someone that belongs or is similar to something else," She summarised.

"You got it," I smiled, slightly bemused by her text book definition, "everyone uses nicknames,"

"Yuffie is the only person who calls me a vampire Shelke. I would appreciate it if you also refrained from calling me it," Vincent suddenly spoke up.

"If that is your wish Vincent Valentine," Shelke responded. Jeez, does she take his word as law or something? Live a little Shelke! She needs to come travelling with _me_!

"You know what Vincent? I'd _appreciate_ it if you kept your vampiric nose out of my gawd damn business and not insult my capabilities by threatening Reeve, but you don't, and you did, so Shelke, ignore him, he's a total hypocrite, call him whatever you like. I've got a few ideas if you stuck," I snapped. Vincent glared at me. I glared back.

Shelke glanced between us uncomfortably. I had the feeling she wanted to do something but didn't know what, which ignited a spark of sympathy in me. Still, that spark was nothing to the towering inferno of anger I felt towards Vincent.

So we angrily (Me and Vince) marched back to the bar, Shelke hurrying in our wake, in a tense atmosphere which was probably very awkward for Shelke. Poor girl. It sucks to be stuck in the middle in any situation, let alone not knowing how to react to such situations due to being abducted by mad mako mutants when you were younger. But Vincent didn't try to diffuse the tension anymore than me, so he obviously wasn't bothered by her discomfort. Selfish bastard. At least I was feeling _some_ sympathy. He probably didn't. _No_, he could probably still turn his emotions off from all that time spent as a Turk. I bet _he_ didn't care because he didn't have to because he was so _superior_ to everyone else. Yes, _so_ superior he could control lives with a simple click of his fingers. Or with a few words. To Reeve.

Huffing indignantly at my thoughts, I mentally cursed Seventh Heaven from being so far away from the WRO headquarters. Or the WRO headquarters being so far away from Seventh Heaven. Whatever. My huff was cut short though when my PHS rang. I grinned when I saw who was calling.

"So already in need of my ninja skills again?" I asked in a singsong voice as I answered the call.

"Whatever darlin'. The skill of a ninja is _nothing_ compared with the might of the Turk," Reno drawled back.

"Oh yeah," I snorted indignantly, "I think you'll find it was _me_ who finished that guy off in a matter of minutes after you'd pissed about and ran out of bullets,"

"I did not 'piss about!' And you only managed to take him out because of my fantastic driving!" Reno shot back in a defensive tone.

"Ah yes, let's just ignore my _awesome_ tactics and aim that come from the skill of a ninja. That was _nothing_ compared with the skill of a Turk's _driving_. After all, that's the renowned way Turks bring down their enemies. The reason why people _fear_ them. Their talent at the _steering wheel_," I answered mockingly.

"Alrigh', alright! There's no need to go all sarcastic on me!" Reno replied, sounding wounded.

"Oh man up," I laughed.

"Man up? I've offered to show you _just_ how man I am-"

"_Anyway_, why did you call?" I interrupted hastily.

"I was just checkin' the number you gave me wasn't a fake," he answered casually.

"Oh, Reno," I cried, "That's so sad. How many women have done that to you?"

"Screw you Kisaragi,"

"No thanks," I snickered, abruptly stopping though when I caught Vincent watching with an extremely dirty look on his face, "You got some sort of problem _Vincent_?" I demanded angrily. He glared some more and then looked away.

"Ahh," Reno's voice said, "Soooo, you're still pissed at Valentine then,"

"Yes. Yes I am. Why should I damn well not be?" I answered with gritted teeth.

"Hey, hey. Don't get all angry at me darlin'. I wasn't the one who threatened Reeve!"

"Are you _trying_ to rile me? Because you're doing a _really good job at it_!"

"Then I repeat: don't take your rage about it out on me! You know, don't shoot the messenger. Better remind Valentine of that too. I'm just the middle man. Wasn't my fault you found out,"

"Uh Reno? Yes it was. _You told me_,"

"I thought you knew! It was obvious! And anyway, if he didn't want you to know, he shouldn't have done it in the first place. It's all Valentine's own fault. You should be prepared for the consequences and all that la de dar,"

"Yeah, and that little lecture is coming from _you_. I'm _so_ going to remember that when you knock some woman up," I sniggered, "And anyway, you're a Turk. What do consequences matter to _you_? You'll just have a boss who can justify your actions anywhere from experimenting on humans to draining the planet of its life force,"

"Nice Kisaragi," Reno muttered, "Valentine used to be a Turk. I don't see you letting him off on that excuse,"

Or what he was really saying; Vincent was a Turk too once and I didn't hold the dealings of Shinra against him. Just things like being over protective. My priorities probably looked like they'd got drunk, decided to resign, emigrated, and started their own business whilst still under the influence of a hangover.

Or I could just put it the normal way: I looked like I needed to get my priorities straight.

I guess I'd over stepped the boundary of things I could use to poke fun at him. But friendship between a Shinra employee, no matter how diminished and defeated that employer was, and an Avalanche member slash princess of a defeated and diminished country by said employer was never going to be easy. Especially in the early stages.

"Come on Reno. I didn't mean it like that; stop being so sensitive!" I answered lightly, feeling slightly guilty.

"So you're not into sensitive guys?" His tone betrayed that he was grinning.

"Well…" I said, playfully, "Sensitive to an extent. By which I mean, guys that don't kick up a fuss when their materia mysteriously disappears,"

He laughed, "I ain't got any materia,"

"Oh, well you're out then," I replied dryly. He laughed again. I smiled, "So anyway, I'll see you tomorrow for debriefing with Reeve?"

"Yep,"

"Oh, it's going to be _fun_ telling him about what happened. He's going to get in a right state over that sensitive Shinra scientist, Professor _Insanity_," I said, rolling my eyes, "Oh well, we've got that to look forward to. I'll see you tomorrow Reno,"

"Yes you will sweet heart," He replied cheekily, hanging up before I could give him a retort. Shaking my head amusedly, I put my phone back in my pocket.

That's when Shelke suddenly spoke up, probably worried by what I'd said. She had been part of an organisation created by an insane Shinra scientist after all.

"Professor Insanity Yuffie Kisaragi?"

"Oh nothing to worry about Shelke. Just some minor old Shinra scientist with some issues about letting go. Probably wouldn't have even bothered me if I'd have been on my own, but he had some unfinished business with Reno from the past. Funny that isn't it Vincent? You know, the fact I'd have been _safer_ on my_ own_,"

He glared at me, yet again, and I, yet again, glared back. All in all, we'd done a lot of glaring at each other, and we'd only been with each other for forty minutes, since we'd left the WRO head quarters, half an hour after Reno and I had got back from our two-day-two-night-spent at-a-really-crappy-motel-because-it-was-the-only-one-around-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-mission and dumped all the files and data and stuff (which had taken _so_ long remove and collect from the systems that had been scattered throughout the various dark and mouldy rooms in the extensive underground setup of the Shinra shack) in our offices until tomorrow. Not company policy, but neither Reno or myself were really one for following it, and we were both extremely tired from the mission and having to have left said crappy motel this morning at an ungawdly hour so I could get back in time for my shift in the bar. Company policy could just screw itself until tomorrow when we were both rested and could actually be bothered.

Because we're very professional like that.

"Perhaps Reeve should have looked into sending someone with you who didn't have negative connections everywhere," The unexpected answer dance upon such a smooth deep voice, a smooth deep voice I hadn't wished to hear since it left with Shelke a few weeks ago.

Too bad the words were ones that pissed me off, despite how nice and low and sexy the voice that said them was though. If fact they really riled m. Threaten Reeve into sending someone with me, and then bitching about them when it's your fault in the first place? Wrong move. I guess Vincent should have been more _specific_ when he was death glaring Reeve!

I narrowed my eyes and met Vincent's gaze. "Oh no, I understand Reeve's choice completely. I may not have a first, I mean, _sure,_ I still had to fend off all Reno's advances for the duration of the mission, but I did really needed someone who had been a Turk with me. As Reeve told me, Reno's a Turk, so he knew what we were looking for, as well as knowing all of the pass codes to get into the systems. After all, he went with me so I wouldn't get hurt right? The whole place was probably programmed to blown up, so if I'd have typed in the wrong password… Well Reno was the only guy with knowledge of the Department of Administrative Research around to stop that from happening, so I guess he was the _perfect_ guy to go with me to make sure I didn't get blown up or whatever…" I mused to Vincent, in a dangerous kind of tone, before adding, "I mean, sure, you were a Turk, but even if you _had_ been around, all the system and passes and stuff have probably changed since then,"

So maybe I was going over the top, and even though I was implying I would've, I _never _would have chosen to go with Reno if I could've gone with Vincent. But I guess it really got to me that Vincent obviously didn't have faith in my capabilities.

Deep down I knew it wasn't really that. Vincent _did_ have faith in my capabilities; He was the teammate I had fought alongside of for almost six _years_. And if I had gone on my own, or with Vincent, we would have found a way to get into the Shinra system catalysing an explosion. I was just angry with him. I wasn't even that sure _why_ I was angry. Maybe because he hadn't been there to go with me. Or maybe it was because it had taken _Reno_ to tell me who had threatened Reeve when it was, and Reno had said, so _obvious_.

Or perhaps it was because Vince _was_ clearly overprotective of me as he did things like threaten Reeve behind my back to keep me safe (which is proof of the whole dating colleagues is a bad idea as it messes up the working relationship and hierarchy and all stuff, and Vincent and I weren't even in that kind of relationship). Surely that _had_ to mean he felt something _more_ that friendship, even if it was just a _trace_ of _deeper_ feeling… yet things were _too_ complicated with someone like _Vincent_ for me to just _confront_ him about that trace of deeper feeling, and that was just frustrating me. _Right_?

But hey, at this moment in time I was ignoring the deep down hippy loony shit. I was prepared to say my anger was from the fact that he didn't think I could look after myself. And I just wanted to piss him off for that. Apparently the way to do this was to make it sound like I was glad a person he really, _really_ despised had gone with me. And had in fact been a better choice for watching my back than _himself_.

So, my anger buffering any kind of emotional or softened response, I stayed completely unaffected by the totally long searching look Vince gave me before he said softly, "Well then. Perhaps it was a good thing that Reno accompanied you,"

"It really _was_. You know what? I should _thank_ you. Because if you _hadn't_ have said whatever you did to Reeve, Reno _wouldn't_ have gone with me. And I wouldn't have realized what a _great_ guy he was. We actually _really_ hit it off. We had _so_ much fun working together!"

Yep, he officially realized his 'plan' had back fired when I said _that_. He was _definitely_ pissed off if the intensity of his death glare was anything to go by. But I didn't stick around. I marched off around the final bend to the bar feeling triumphant. If he knew what was good for him, Vincent wouldn't mess-

"As much as I respect you and your decisions Vincent Valentine, I don't think you should mess with Yuffie Kisaragi again. She plays dirty,"

Shelke really _was_ starting to understand the way the world works.

OOO

After storming into the bar after my _open exchange of opinions_ with Vincent, I had only ended storming-or rather shivering-my way to the bathroom, after being told by Tifa that there was no heating or hot water, because the boiler had broken the day before. Now, not only being dirty, tired and somewhat pissed off, I then had had to strip and stand _naked_ (losing what I had left of body heat that had dwindled rapidly away upon entering the bar)in a freezing cold, _tiled_ room, and have a _sponge down_ with lukewarm water. Since then my body heat, _and_ good humour, had _not_ returned.

And to think, after that, whilst working what was left of the day since returning to the WRO late morning with Reno after a long car journey that had begun at a time I will just describe as _wrong_, away in the bar, for which I had not anticipated wearing practically every item of clothing I owned, I had actually _looked forward_ to when I would be able to crawl under the sheets of my bed, _warm up_ and go _to sleep_. No, all I had got when I crawled under the sheets was the frosty feeling of an empty bed. A frosty feeling that had not gone away, as it usually does once your body heat warms it up. But then again, I had had no body heat to speak of in the first place by that point. And no matter how much I performed the warm-bed dance, the bed stayed bitterly, icily, _cold_.

Shivering, I attempted to pull my already drawn up knees-as-much-as-knees-can-be-drawn-up-_without_-defying-the-_undefiable_( no matter how much Cloud can hurtle upwards in the air and apparently fly and not even _beginning_ to mention his hair)-laws-of-physics- closer into my chest. The only success I had was the feeling of bruises forming from said drawn up as much as physically possible knees as they dug even deeper into my chest; that was how tightly curled up I was. Why? In a wildly _desperate_ effort to get warm. The thick and heavy cocoon of blankets I had viciously wrapped, pulled and twisted around me was only serving as a thick and heavy cocoon of _cold_ weighing down on me. Still, it was better than the stinging bite of the freezing air I would be exposed to if I didn't have said cocoon of blankets.

It would seem that no amount of crushing my internal organs was going to warm me up. Which lead to this conclusion: I had absolutely no chance of falling asleep.

Finally admitting this, I nearly cried with frustration, and tried tightening my arms which were wrapped around the backs of my thighs, in effort to pull them, and the rest of my folded in legs, tighter into the ball shape I was curled into. Again, I got the feeling of bruising, this time from the ring of my arms and my knees digging into my chin.

Now, I accept that from time to time, I tend to exaggerate. This exaggeration is also often the direct result that comes from my previously mentioned pissed up priorities. And although it would seem that my reaction to the current situation was way over the top, I swear in the _name of materia_, I was in_ no way_ exaggeration about how cold it was. Although Edge does _not_ have the climate that of the _Northern continent, _the level of cold to which I am implying, as its name suggests, Edge was built around the _edge_ of Midgar. Now _Midgar_ was once a place of _perpetual_ darkness and cold, due to dear old Shinra bleeding the Planet dry of its life blood in that particular area. And although the area of Midgar is recuperating now, and there is actually daylight and warmth, that is in the _day_. When the sun sets, the temperature _drops_. By drops, I mean it _plummets_. And Edge is within this plunging vicinity. Even in the _middle of the summer_, heating in Edge is a must between sunset and sunrise to ward off the chills.

That was why it was so _bone numbingly, teeth chattering, shiver shakingly_ cold.

"Fuck it," I muttered, metaphorically meaning I chucked personal principles and moral codes, mainly those pertaining pride, aside out of a metaphorical window. Bracing myself, I climbed out of bed.

"Shit. Fuckedy fucking fucked up shit," I heard myself mindlessly cussing through chattering teeth as I danced my way across the floor, involuntary yelping when my feet met the hard frozen floor of the hallway causing me to mentally curse everyone: Cloud and Tifa for sharing a bed, Vincent for all his enhancements, Marlene and Denzel for getting sent to Elmyra's and _the gawd damn fucking moronic imbeciles who chose not to carpet the damn hallway when they build the fucking place_!

Leviathan, I was even cussing _Shelke_ for not having to live here, but instead getting picked up by some WRO goon to go back to her nice, toasty WRO flat as soon as she and Vincent got in and saw, or rather felt, how cold it was.

Not even bothering to knock, I yanked opened the door and shut it with an equal amount of cold caused violence.

"Vincent," I hissed, wanting to wake him up so he wouldn't shoot me on reflex, "_Vincent_!"

He stirred, but there was no way I was going to hang around in the frigid air while he cleared his pretty little head. Snatching back his covers and leaping into the bed, he jerked awake when my frozen foot brushed his leg. From his reaction, it must have been _cold_. It must have felt like _ice_. I couldn't even tell anymore. My feet had been the first to sacrifice their feeling to the cold...Which was actually pretty bad thinking about it. I probably should have been more concerned about that, being a symptom of frostbite and all.

"Calm the hell down!" I hissed as he bolted upright, "It only me you dork!"

"Yuffie! What are you doing?" He hissed back. I'd never heard him hiss before; I must've _really_ aggravated him.

"What does it look like _Einstein_? Do you have any idea how fucking freezing I am?" I chose to favour more hissing as it was a way of illustrating my mood and keeping my voice down so as to not wake Cloud and Tifa. I'd rather them stay in an unconscious state where they couldn't feel the cold than a conscious state where they could feel the cold which would keep them from getting back into an unconscious state causing them to re-enact their sleep inducing-cold -repelling method they had practised earlier.

"Yes, I believe I do since you so generously jabbed me with your feet!" He retorted, in the same pissy undertone as me.

"Oh don't be such a baby! And imagine those toes of ice were yours!"

"If they were mine, I'd at least have the decency to don socks before invading-"

"I'm wearing socks bitch! Now for Leviathans sake, share your _gawd damn_ body heat before I _freeze_ to _death_ unless that's what you _gawd damn_ well _want_, and a _gawd damn_ coffin _won't_ be an option when I come back and _gawd damn_ well _haunt_ your _gawd damn_ _ass_!"

Apparently coldness caused me to favour the 'gawd damn' cuss variety. And call Vincent 'bitch'. Anyhow it did the trick; he lay back down, on his back albeit. Uncooperative bastard. Ignoring his plain message that he was not happy with me and so was going to be purposely difficult, I yanked the covers up over us and slid my arms around his stiff body, hugging myself to his side awkwardly and digging my head into his shoulder to make him wrap his arm around me. The arm with the cold metal gauntlet. Damn jerk. And they say _I'm_ immature. Most guys would love it if a girl came and asked them to warm them up.

Probably more politely than I did though.

And I should know by now that Vincent Valentine isn't most guys. I mean, he uses words like 'don'.

I wasn't even sure if that's why he was being so difficult. He never did like being woken up. I guess freezing cold toes and being cussed at with personal issues probably wasn't the best way to go about it either. Not to mention there was still our unresolved matter from earlier.

"Will you loosen up?" I demanded exasperatedly, poking his tense abs and having to exile the _oh my oh so yummy_ thoughts those muscles brought to find upon feeling them, "Jeez, it's not like I've asked you to warm me up the way Cloud and Tifa did,"

He remained silent for a few moments, before sighing, and doing as I had requested and closing his eyes. It looked like he was going for the pretend-your-not-even-here-tactic again. Not that I was going to let him.

"I'm still mad at you, you know. You should be jumping at any possible chance to redeem yourself," I told him in a low voice.

"I don't believe I need to redeem myself," He replied stoically. If there was ever I time I _didn't_ want to hug him (which was never, especially a time when he was wearing an unbuttoned pajamer shirt), it was that moment. I scowled. I really was tempted to roll away from him. It wasn't like I was warming up that much in this position anyway. But that would have been letting him win; Yuffie Kisaragi never lets _anyone_ win. Especially when the opposition is _male_.

"Well that's because you're a bastard," I said frostily.

"If I'm such as bastard, maybe you should reconsider why you are disturbing me," he replied, in an equally cold and low voice; had his eyes were open, they'd also have been staring at me in a cold manner.

"I don't need to reconsider anything! I know why I'm here! I'm here because I was so cold I couldn't sleep, which I would actually really like, because I'm freaking tired after my mission!" I exclaimed angrily, pulling away from him and propping myself up on the arm I had just jerked away from him. He had tensed back up again at the word 'mission' and opened his eyes, but I was too riled up again to notice, and continued whisper-screaming, "It's you who needs to _reconsider_! _Reconsider_ who the _hell_ you think you are to be interfering with my damn job! I don't need someone else trying to control my life; I get enough of that from Wutai thanks, so next time you think I can't deal with something myself, keep it to yourself rather than intimidating my boss into taking unnecessary measures!"

"Unnecessary measures? Your story is altering Yuffie. Earlier Reeve's measures were _vital_ as well as pleasing. Now they are unnecessary. Which is it that you are applying at present?" He answered coolly.

"For Leviathan's sake-You're missing the point Vincent!" I shot back angrily.

"Yes. Yes, of course I would be," He replied, calm and cold tone sending a chill into the air, a chill that made me feel colder than I had all night.

"You know what? I think I'd rather freeze. I won't even need to bother with the whole haunting bit as you've got the miserable jerk bit covered just fine on your own," I answered with chilling fury after a moment of silence. Turning away and swinging my legs out of the bed, I hoped he didn't notice the shiver that ran through me as I did so. Pausing in my retreat, I inclined my head slightly towards him, adding in a softer tone, "What I meant, Vincent, was that if Reeve feels measures are needed or not, he will take them, without input from anyone else,"

He had also sat up by now. I noticed him stiffen as the cold air hit his chest and stomach that wasn't covered by his pajamer shirt. I was tempted to steal the damn thing. Not just so I could treat myself to looking at a very, very, very nice piece of man candy (which infuriated me because I was mad at him and had just made of point of freezing rather than staying with him which made it a weakness), but it would make him feel the cold. Well, until he pulled his covers back up. And then there was the bonus that I'd then get something that smelt of him. Which isn't creepy or stalkerish because I was going to go and freeze to death, and dying justifies things creepy and stalkerish in your last moments.

Had I just considered stealing his pajamer shirt? I needed to steal some materia tomorrow. I was clearly suffering from withdrawal symptoms or something.

I was just pushing myself off the bed and almost crying from the cold when Vincent grabbed my arm. With his gauntlet. Which was made of metal.

I remember I once told Vincent that this claw was cold and that I might subsequently catch hyperthermia. That was when I was drunk, and I really was exaggerating about the cold. Remembering my point from earlier about how I do exaggerate, but how I wasn't now, imagine the degree of cold I'd described, and how that degree of cold would react with metal.

Well my reaction was gasping and wrenching my arm from his grip. And Vincent's gauntlet, although I don't like to call it that when he's around because he'd throw a big angst fit over being a monster, is essentially a claw. And claws tend to be sharp.

The reactions so far: Cold plus metal equals _fucking freezing_. Fucking freezing plus bare skin equals reflex reaction of rapidly pulling away. Wrenching away like this plus sharpness equals injury and blood-well in this case of injury it equalled blood.

So yes, he accidentally shredded my arm. But not very deeply. I mean Vincent's trained himself to be gentle with his gauntlet arm, because he probably used to accidentally lopped off fingers when shaking hands when he first got his claw like gauntlet. So it wasn't like it grabbed my arm really tightly which made it my fault really for pulling my arm from his grasp so forcefully. But this was Vincent. Vincent plus injury/hurt/pain etc. equals angst/coffins/sins etc. Because he's the guy who thinks he's _so_ important that the world is on _his _and_ only his_ shoulders. So in Vincent terms, a shallow cut on my arm is like severing an artery in said arm. _Gawd knows_ how he'd react if he had of actually severed an artery in my arm!

But anyways, I didn't really even know what had happened. Cuts like that generally tend to hurt I know, but to a certain degree, pain doesn't bother me. I'm trained to handle, endure and if needs be, ignore pain. I'm a _ninja_. I get into situations where I get injured all the time where I still need to fight and run, so I have to be able to manage pain. Plus training for a ninja pretty much beats all the tears of pain out of you. So I was _aware_ I'd hurt myself, but I knew it wasn't bad. Before _I_ could even react to it myself though, Vincent _had_ already reacted, most likely from some kind of guilt reflex he'd developed after committing so many so called _sins_. Not to mention his past as a Turk where he'd been trained to think and act fast.

And _boy_ did I like the way he _thought_. By the time I'd caught up with the sudden turn of events, the only thing on my mind was how _glad_ I was that Vincent had threatened Reeve, because it all had led up to _this_ moment, the moment where I was confronted by the most _delicious_ piece of rippling man candy I have ever seen.

Yep, his brilliant_,_ _brilliant _mind had reacted by _pulling off his pajamer shirt_ to wrap around the lacerations to staunch the blood flow, all in the blink of an eye.

Yummy. Oh, so, _so yummy_. So sure, I'd seen Vincent shirtless before, but that time never really counted because I had been barely lucid and Vincent had been ill. _Now_ it counted though. It _definitely_ counted. It counted so much it suddenly became clear to me that it was worth _anything_ to get to see Vincent sans shirt.

My eyes trailing up his _very_ well built abdomen, over his _fantastically_ toned chest, and across to his _wonderfully_ muscled arms, whilst taking in the many scars that criss-crossed his body and marred his perfect pale skin but doing nothing but add even _more_ sexiness to his already super sexy, hunky (did I mention sexy?) state, my fogged up mind, not to mention body, came to the conclusion that Vincent had just sliced open my arm. Five times. _Simultaneously_. Which he totally needed to make up for.

So my mind told me that I should feel absolutely so shame, remorse, worry or hesitation in grabbing him around the neck and crashing my lips against his.

Yep. Kiss him. Casually kiss VINCENT VALENTINE. Well, not so casually actually. Actually pretty passionately. And forcefully. But try having a shirtless, _guilty_ Vincent Valentine in front of you and tell me what _you_ decide to do: I wouldn't be surprised if you raped him then and there. So in comparison… well my reaction was actually pretty mild!

So my mind told me to start kissing him, and without any hesitation. However, the same couldn't be said for Vincent; His whole think/act reflex this time was nowhere near as swift as it had been for the shenanigan which had caused this whole kissing business in the first place. However, his reflexes proved just as genius (if somewhat delayed) when _he kissed back_ and in nothing like the chaste way he had kissed me in the hallway so long ago. Nope, this was a urgent, passionate kiss, fuelled by our recent anger and frustration at each other, where no time was wasted in deepening it; me for living in the now-never-doing-tomorrow-what-you-could-do-today(except when it comes to paperwork)-attitude, and Vincent, well nothing quite so poignant but _for_ _not getting any in thirty plus years_.

Oh, but he was _definitely_ getting some now. The already deep kiss took a plunge into the even deeper as our obviously _extremely_ pent up sexual frustrations led me, lips moving in reckless abandon, to tangle my hands into his wild un-bandannaed hair and him, also in reckless abandon, to tighten his grip around my waist, pulling me flush against his bare chest. I could safely say _I'd_ never been kissed, or been kissed anyone, in _this_ way before, and _by Gaia_, it was _good_. I certainly didn't need to worry about getting warm anymore; my previously deserted body heat returned with a fierce and dangerous intensity. Seriously, shooting from below zero to above a hundred probably could have _killed_ me. But dying (first from an intense cold, now to an intense heat) was the least of my priorities when I bit Vincent's lip and he _growled_ and the hand of his that wasn't wearing the gauntlet moved from my waist to underneath my PJ top and started roaming up my back- Gawd I would have _collapsed_ had I not been _entirely_ and _completely too busy kissing him_ and once again trying to defy the _undefiable_ laws of physics by this time crushing myself into space already occupied by the matter that was Vincent, who was currently _leaning over me and_ _pushing me backwards_. Mmnn, I had _way_ better things to be doing than allowing this to abruptly stop by something as stupid as fainting-

Unfortunately, that's what happened though, and for something far more stupid than fainting.

_Reality_.

Seriously, what is with it? No one even likes it. It just ruins people's lives by crushing all their hopes and dreams and _fantasies_. And fantasies are way better than stupid _sucky_ reality; was Vincent Valentine kissing _the life_ out of me in reality? No. Was Vincent Valentine kissing _the life_ out of me in a fantasy? Yes, thus leading to the conclusion: Fantasy is better than reality. _By fucking far._

"Yuffie-I'm…are you…I'm sorry," Vincent stuttered. This confused me, because _he was supposed to be kissing me. Very deeply. And passionately. _And how_ in the name _of Sephiroth's_ ridiculously long _and_ silky _hair was he so far away from me?

"What?" was my super intelligent (how was he talking?) and dazed (how by the holy name of Materia could he kiss that well?) reply.

"I-your arm-I didn't mean to-"

But I didn't hear what he was saying because dawning on me was the _fucked up_ trick reality had played on me. Or rather, the fucked up trick _my mind_ had played on me.

_He wasn't actually kissing me_. My mind had told me to kiss him and that's where reality ended and all the _lies began_.

It had simply all been part of my wishful, lust filled and extremely active imagination, and when I had imagined him leaning over on top of me, I had in fact just leant backwards, triggering Vincent to apologise as he thought I was moving away in horror from him because he had ripped my arm open.

And the fact that it had seemed so _scarily_ real and had been _worryingly_ vivid was obviously because I was being deprived of the very thing I had just imagined. Jeez, was I _so_ desperate for him?

No, I'm not going to even dignify that with an answer because the answer is _shameful!_ I am a freaking _ninja_ for _Leviathan's sake_! I, in no way, shape or form need Vincent to function healthily. He does _not_ cause me to _hallucinate_!

In fact, no, it had _nothing_ do at all with deprival of Vincent at all. No, I was going on a serious materia gathering spree tomorrow, because it is _materia_ that I need to function healthily: Materia is all that is right and good in this world, the single most important and the best thing on the planet. There is nothing better than materia, and I _clearly_ needed to get back in touch with that fact. I'd just spent too long a time away from it, so much time in fact that my mind had resorted to cheap and tacky substitutes. Albeit disturbingly _real_ cheap and tacky substitutes, those such as Vincent kissing me _senseless_. And hey, it was cold! Maybe by now I had developed hypothermia or something, and _that_ was why I was hallucinating.

"…Yuffie?"

There was nothing in this world that can replace materia. The severity of my withdrawal was clearly too much and inducing fits of madness. With that in mind I was able to clear my head of anger (due to reality needing to _fuck_ _the hell off and leave me alone_) and worry (how the _hell_ could I have just had such a _real_ imaginary make out session with Vincent?).

"Jeez Vincent," I answered, my voice sounding weak to my own ears, "I didn't know you were so desperate to get your kit off in front of me,"

Which of course was the worst thing to say given what I had just imagined. I just hoped to Leviathan the same way I hoped to Leviathan that Sephiroth wouldn't return (_again_)that Vincent didn't notice the flush and fidgeting I was suffering from at what I had jokingly suggested he wanted to do. _Because by gawd did I want to do it._

He did not look pacified however by my jesting. Or embarrassed, which sucked because it would have been good if he'd been embarrassed because then maybe that would mean he had actually entertained, or like the idea of getting his kit off in front of me. And if he liked the idea of getting his kit off in front of me, he might like the idea actually kissing me and then we'd both get some and I would make up with reality and imagination could be the one to go screw itself...

But alas no, he was not embarrassed, just wretchedly guilty looking. And I didn't need to justify the whole fake make out thing, because I already determined the cause to be materia withdrawal, not _severe_ wishful thinking. And the cold. That had definitely had a hand in warping my perception of reality and fantasy. In fact, now I think about it, there were a whole host of reasons( And I will repeat_ reasons_, not excuses) as to why I had had that rather…_lustful_ vision, such as having been around Reno for the weekend, who had made dirty innuendos and suggestive comments every other sentence. And the cold, which could definitely cause hallucinogenic experiences.

Wait, I already mentioned the cold-

_There were plenty of reasons_.

"I'm sorry-"

"Oh for god's sake Vincent," I snapped angrily, not from the fact he was obviously getting into a repentant oh-gawd-what-have-I-done-I'm-such-a-sexy-monster state, but more from the fact that the disgraced puppy look on his face coupled with the shirtless situation was currently not helping with keeping my mind away from some of said suggestions Reno had made, "If you're that bothered, do something useful instead of lamenting!" such as shoving me back on the bed, kissing me avidly until I'm completely breathless and letting me run my hands all over your beautiful body and feel those dangerously real muscles of yours as they flex on top of me-

Vincent obviously took the sudden shiver that ran through me as one of cold, and gently tugged me back onto the bed, pulling the bed covers up, and hesitantly wrapping his arms around me to warm me up, which was the very thing I'd come here for in the first place.

I almost screamed though. It was a nice thing for him to do, and useful (which was what I had asked for), _had I __actually been cold_. My current state of mind however meant I was anything but cold, and pulling me into his arms and shirtless chest was not helping clear said current state of mind. Useful to me _now_ was not anything like that innocent, sweet, kind action. Most definitely _not_ anything innocent _at all_.

Extremely tense, I buried my head into the crook of his neck, and bit my lip –my _lip_, not _Vincent_, I was going to bit _my lip_, _not_ Vincent- and wondered how by _all of creation_ was going to keep my hands to myself?

"This arm hasn't been having much luck recently," I muttered, raising said arm slightly, trying to distract myself.

"How so?" Vince asked, "Was this the arm that Cloud-"

"Broke the hand of, yes," I finished for him, "And then it almost got blown off by a Salamander. Luckily Reno has a good eye and shot the damn thing before it could,"

"…"

I signed, exasperatedly. Did the man really wish Reno hadn't shot it and my arm had been blown off? I swear to Leviathan, no wonder men and women have problems getting on; men's minds work in strange and stupid ways.

"Hey there mister," I said sternly, inclining my head and prodding his chest to making him meet my eye, intending to sort things out "I know you don't like Reno. Up until recently, neither did I. However, now I do, so deal with it, because you have only yourself to thank m'kay? You have no reason to be grumpy and sour about him coming with me, because he did precisely what you wanted, and made sure I didn't get hurt. Sure, I prefer going on missions with you as a partner, and next mission, you make damn well sure that your ass is here to come with me, but I'm glad Reeve chose Reno to go with me. Having been forced to spend time with Reno meant I actually got to know him, and we had a lot of fun. Whether you can take it or not, I actually have you to thank for that, because I made a good friend, so thanks. As for my part, I also need to thank you for making Reeve send someone with me, because even though I don't like the way you did it, I did need someone to go with me to watch my back. So, are we good now?"

He was silent for a few moments, staring at me, before looking away.

"I'll make sure I'm here to go with you next mission," He muttered, conceding. Smiling, I dropped my head back onto his shoulder, amused by the way he managed to get around admitting he was wrong about Reno without actually acknowledging it. Typical Vincent. Stubborn Vincent- which is strange because people say Vinnie and I are completely different, but we're actually more similar than people think: He's totally stubborn like me. And he can be irrational as well; I mean, there he was, acting like a typical man, getting all annoyed over something his fault in the first place, but not admitting it. If that isn't being irrational then what is? Irrationality is from immaturity, and being passionate and it wasn't like I was actually _his_ to get protectively jealous _over_. Disregarding the fact that I totally wanted to be his to get protectively jealous over of course. Actually, even if I _had_ been his, I would have kicked his ass acting this way. I mean it wasn't as if Reno and I had done anything inappropriate…apart from not pay for our food and get into in a car chase. But that's beside the point and out of context of what I meant. But I'm _not_ Vincent's, so why was I even justifying it? Me and Reno could have been inappropriate in _that_ context if we wanted because I'm not Vincent's and therefore it was none of Vincent's business. In fact, I will never be _Vincent's_. If me and Vincent were ever one day to be inappropriate in _that_ context, and he dared tell anyone that I was 'his' I would castrate him for the nerve of suggesting that he owns me. Because women no longer belong anyone in society. And my views of the sexism of past society have nothing to do with anything at the present moment. How did I ramble my way to that point?

"You'd better be Vince," I grinned, "And by the way, you're going to give me your master bolt in the morning. I made Cloud give me his fire for breaking my hand, so it's only fair that you give me materia too,"

"You can have my restore," he murmured, his hand trailing over where his shirt was tied around my arm, the complete _idiot_. My libido had actually calmed down until he did _that._

"Fine," I replied, wrapping my arms around him, and snuggling closer to the warmth emanating from him, "You can give me your restore _and_ the bolt,"

He chuckled. Smiling as well, I murmured "Night Vinnie," practically against his neck, and feeling bold, and probably from the slightly lusty feelings I was harbouring from that earlier, _incident_, I pressed kiss to his neck and closed my eyes. Then inwardly grinned; the shiver that ran through him was probably like mine had been earlier: just from…the _cold_.

OOO

"Yuffie,"

"Mmmn," I murmured, not waking up, only shifting slightly. I was so warm and comfortable… I really didn't give enough credit to sleep, and credit where credits due; it ranked right underneath materia and Vinnie…

"Yuffie," the voice repeated.

"Shhh, she's asleep," I mumbled, probably not very intelligibly.

"Yuffie, wake up," the voice persisted. I ignored it, fully intending to continue sleeping.

"Yuff-".

"Piss off," I interrupted, beginning to get annoyed.

There was a sigh.

"As you wish," and suddenly all the warmth was gone. And I could not get warm enough to fall back to the land of sleep without it. And this was the tale of how I was defeated by Vincent Valentine and hence how I came to be awake at an ungodly hour for the _second_ morning in a row. Sometimes I really wonder why I liked Vincent. How could I _possibly_ consider someone who thinks it is acceptable to be up before_ seven in the morning?_

Said person emerged half dressed from the bathroom. At the sight of those abs, my half-asleep-early morning bleariness disappeared faster than Cid and Barret's materia when they gets _so_ inebriated they forget that the planet orbits the sun.

"You're awake," the person to whom those magnificent abs belonged to stated. However, it dawned on me that the reason why Vincent was showing off those abs was so I would be too dazed by them to be pissed off with him. Because Vincent can totally be that kind of person when it suits him. But I foiled this devious and sly plan of his by not only being pissed with him, but also privately and secretly ogling his delicious body, thus unknowingly humiliating him as he was showing off his delicious body for no reason. Oh, my undisputed logic of the morning!

"And you're a jerk," I scowled back, sitting up cross legged on the bed and wrapping the duvet around myself. If only it wasn't so cold and I wasn't wearing long pajamer pants… and any reason why I might be wandering around my bra. That too. Then I'd be stunning _him_ with _my_ sexiness.

"So you've told me many times before," He answered, turning and walking to his wardrobe presumably to get a shirt, incidentally allowing me to openly admire his equally delicious back.

"Its freezing," I complained, tilting my head slightly and watching the muscles of his back ripple as he reached for a shirt. Despite my complaint, I didn't particularly care about the cold when I saw those muscles flexing, as it was because of the cold that I was here to see said magnificent muscles in the first place.

"All the more reason for us to get to the WRO,"

"What?" I asked, disconcerted. I had after all been too busy concentrating on committing my current view to memory. What about the WRO? "You can't be serious," I said incredulously. He didn't reply, only throwing on his chosen black leather shirt from amongst all his other black leather shirts (and a few normal black ones), disappointingly hiding those lovely lean muscles from view. "You are!"

"Yuffie, Reeve will hardly accept the excuse of the house being cold as a reason for being absent from work," He told me.

"Well Reeve can go screw himself, because I'm not getting out of bed," I retorted, my rattiness more likely caused by the disappearance of Vincent's superb physique than what he was actually saying.

"You've already had two strikes for failing to appear at work without a legitimate reason. This would be your third,"

I snorted, "Two strikes? Is that all? I've been absent way more than twice with reasons a lot less… _legitimate_ than this one," I gestured around to the cold, "And anyway, Reeve won't fire me. I'm too good and he wouldn't dare. Plus you can't fire people who helped save the world three times,"

"Well he was one of them, so I believe that privilege would be extended to himself," Vincent pointed out.

"Ha! If spying on us for the enemy can be constituted as 'saving'. Plus controlling a robotic cat that irritated us more than it did anything useful hardly counts," I rolled my eyes.

He merely looked at me in response.

"Fine. We wouldn't have defeated Deepground without him," I snapped, "But that doesn't change the fact that I am _not_ going in,"

Vincent sighed. "Give me one good reason why you can't go in," He said stoically, sitting on the end of the bed to put on the gold plated skewers he uses as boots on.

"Well for one, I need a shower, and there's no hot water," I answered.

"There are showers at the WRO," he reasoned.

I frowned. "I can go in later then, at a _decent_ time,"

"No you can't. Tifa and Cloud want us to meet them for lunch,"

"What? When did say that?" I asked, distracted.

"Last night. I assume you were too caught up in your moping over the cold to hear," He replied.

"Excuse me?" I cried indignantly, "Moping? Ha! Pot calling the kettle black at all? And actually, I think you will find I was just _tired_ last night, not _moping_!"

"I apologise, you were tired, not brooding," He muttered. I got the feeling I was grating on his patience, "Either way, we have to meet Cloud and Tifa, so you will not be able to go to headquarters later on today,"

"Well tell Reeve I've got hypothermia then!" I exclaimed, losing patience. Jeez, why couldn't he just accept the fact that I ._Wasn't_. Going. Into. Work.

He looked at me. "Hypothermia?" His voice could have held any more scepticism.

"Yes, _hypothermia_. It was cold enough last night!" I informed him in a defensive and haughty tone.

"And what non-existent symptoms should I tell him you've been displaying?" He asked.

"Oh the delusion I was suffering last night were very much existent, trust me," I snorted. Sometimes the most convincing way to lie is to tell the truth.

"What kind of delusions?" He asked, meeting and holding my eye.

"Oh well wouldn't you like to know!" I exclaimed, inwardly hoping that I wouldn't betray myself by blushing. I was not sticking _that_ close to the truth! Even if you do have a massive crush on them, it's just inappropriate to tell you best friend 'Oh, yeah, after I snuck bed with you last night to get you to warm me up and we had that argument which you ended by maiming by arm to stop me having the last word and leaving, I imagined us _almost_ having really hot angry sex'. It just totally crosses a line.

Although the really wishful, curious, daring part of me wondered what would have happened if I had actually kissed Vincent last night. I mean we were totally pissed enough at each other to have had the passion to have gone that far… but I guess the question is would he have reciprocated if I had kissed him in the first place? As a guy I totally think he would have, because now his literal (and figurative) demons have gone, he's really started opening up and so he's lost the strict, rigid self restraint he used to force upon his self. Not to mention _I_ know _he_ knows that _I_ find him a _total_ sex god, because not only am I pretty sure I've actually told him _exactly_ that a few times, he's totally used the sexy card against me a few times, like that time in the kitchen a little while ago. Which was followed closely by that thing in the store. Ahem, yes, well even with that, would he have jumped the final hurdle and risked our friendship and ignored his respect for me as a friend, a colleague and a woman and gone that far? Not that _I_ had given this amount of consideration to it last night though. Jeez, how can I spout all of this crap when I was _just waiting_ for the smallest sign to jump him last night?

Gawd, that was blunt. Since when have I thought like that? I'm a good girl, raised by the five gods of the pagoda as Leviathan daughter for Leviathan's sake! Sure, I knew I was attracted to the guy, but seriously: 'jump him'? Not that I could actually deny any this after the state of mind _I_ was in last night…Gawds, I need to divert myself away from this train of thought, fast. Yes, much faster, because the wave of shame is already rushing over me. Yep, I was totally the same shade as Vincent's cloak now, which he had paused in reaching for, clearly sidetracked by my current aura of clear embarrassment.

Well, I might as well have said the thing about imagining us almost having hot sex, because now, written all over my face was answer to his questions about my delusions. And in my current situation of ranging into unexplored and rather quite uncomfortable areas of my mind meant that was totally not in the right frame of mind to stare him down because I was just thinking about wanting to totally sex him!

"FINE!" I shouted defensibly in mild panic, because he was staring and ohgawdohgawdhecouldn'tknowhecouldn'tknowpleaseohpleasestopwhywon'thestopSTARINGohgawdhe'stotallyjudgingme! Leaping up off of his bed I exclaim "Fine, yes have it your way then, I don't have hypothermia! And I'm out of bed now like you wanted. Happy now?" I tried to glare at him. He only stared at me with a quizzical expression, my erratic behaviour clearly perturbing him which only served to make me more jittery making me shift my weight to my other foot-

Oh gawd, I did not just lose my balance. I did not just trip over my own feet. Please. This is why I don't get up this early in the mornings, only bad things happen when I do, like thinking about sex with my best friend who only just put his clothes on AND THIS CONTINUING AND UNCOMFORTABLE TRAIN OF THOUGH IS NOT HELPING!

"Yuffie, what's going - are you okay? What's the matter?" Vincent was suddenly right in front of my face, gripping the arm tightly that I had flung out to stop myself from face planting, in an effort to help me out. It did _not_ help however and I almost fell over again as I took a hasty step back away from him.

"I'm fine Vinnie, really, just y'know, stuff, um, yeah, so I'm just gonna go. I'm totally up now, yes sir-ree, I'll go get ready and we can get going, capishe? Leviathan, has the heating being fixed? It's really warm, or is it just me? You know what, it's probably is just me, just a woman thing, so anyway, my arm kind of hurts, want to let go of it?" I willed myself to stop talking, just like I willed Vincent to please please please let me go and stop searching my face with such concern because those red eyes were just making me all the more flustered because they just _make me melt inside_ and what if he could _totally guess what I was thinking about_ which would just be _mortifying_ because the more I tell myself to _stop _thinking about_ ripping his clothes off,_ the _more_ I actually think about _ripping his clothes off_.

But hey, if in doubt, mention woman things, because it always does the trick. Vincent let go of my arm but continued to watch me half in concern, and half like I was from another lifestream. I however immediately started stumbling backwards to the door, my own gaze darting from him to the bed then to everywhere else.

"Okay thanks Vincent, thanks for everything, I'll be ready in a few but don't wait, no, you don't need to wait, I'll probably be a while, so I'll meet you at the WRO, or hey you can wait if you want, it's really up to you-" My hand grasped the door knob and I smiled nervously as I turned it and staggered out, shutting the door behind me.

Sighing outwardly and wailing inwardly, I leant my head back on the door with both hands still clutching the doorknob behind my back, and closed eyes.

Phew, close call. _Extremely_ close call.

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*Mental note to never share a bed with Vincent Valentine ever again.

**Add to mental note to never look at shirtless Vincent Valentine ever again.

***Just never ever be alone in the same room as Vincent Valentine ever again.

* * *

_**Meh, I hope you liked that. Personally, I hate it, I find it a total filler chapter...and well, there's a whole load of reasons why I don't like it, but part of that is because I've read the first 3/4 so many times in so many attempts to finish it. I don't know, maybe it isn't so bad, but right now it's 2:15am and I have to get up at 8am to go to work, I really need to sleep.**_

_**The reason for such a gap is pretty much that life has gottern in the way. I've just done my first year of a-levels (thanks to everyone who wished me well in my last set of exams for GCSE, I did well), and they were so tough, and I was so stressed out, so a lot of the time I just didn't have the heart to write, and i've got and even harder year promised ahead of me. And I made the mistake of getting into 'A Song of Ice and Fire' series. Its amazing, by Game of thrones has taken over my life. I love FF7 and Yuffentine, but its in the back burner now thanks to ASOIAF, and various other fandoms that i've moved on to for the moment. Because of all this, i'm considering putting this on hiatus for the time being. It just isn't fair keeping you waiting when I know i'm not going to be writing any time soon.**_

_**On a different note, although I kind of have no right to say this, having just said what I have and being one of the people at fault for this, YuffiexVincent fanfictions have really slowed down. Seriously, there are hardly any new stories or updates. I am a total hypocrite saying this, but we can't let that happen! We are all thats left to keep this fandom going! Its summer now, so if you've got a Yuffentine plot bunny in your head, write it, upload it. If you've got a fanfiction, get another chapter out! Although i'm vey inactive at the moment, i'm still reading Yuffentine! If you write, i'll review, because I know how motivating and encouraging reviews are (so I hope you'll review this chapter xD). Lets start a review revolution within the Yuffentine domain, and lets recharge this fandom! Seriously, we can't let this fandom die!**_

_**Thanks so much for reading, and following this story despite its lack of progress...I don't want to leave this story unfinished, because ironically, i actually have a clear plan of the plot now, and where its going. I still might take a break from it though, and try to come back refreshed and re-energised, because you guys are great, and i owe it to you to finish this after all the support you've given me for it! x x x**_


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